At first, his hand stays still, maybe in an attempt to give me the opportunity to move it, but I have no desire to move it. Then, he takes one finger and makes patterns on the inside of my leg, leaving a trail of scorching fire in its path. I break out in goose bumps and I pull my arms in between my legs to try and hide it.
Seth seems to like my reaction, because he starts kneading my thigh with a little more vigor, getting more confident in how he touches me. He never falters in his conversation with my Dad, and I’m so glad that they aren’t asking me any questions, because I’m pretty sure that my mind is so scrambled that I wouldn’t be able to form a complete sentence. I open my mouth, trying to get a good breath, but it’s impossible when his hand keep playing with the skin right at the hem of my shorts.
He slows his movements, and moves his hand toward my center, grabbing my hand in his. His grip is firm but gentle, gently stroking my skin and bringing my emotions from a sensual level to a more comforting level.
We eat the rest of our dinner holding each other’s hand, and I couldn’t feel happier. Seth helps me clean up, and I’m surprised once again at the difference in him since he’s been back. He’s changed, but I love this Seth just as much as I loved the old Seth. It’s just a reflection of how much time has passed and how much people can change. I know all about people changing, because I’m not the same person I was before, either.
After dinner, Dad tells me he just wants to take a shower and go to bed early, so it’s just Seth and me. I’m dying to know where he wants to take me.
“Go put on some jeans and bring a bathing suit,” Seth says after putting away the last of the dishes. I always loved hanging out with Seth because we never had to do much in order to have a great time.
“Are we going swimming?” I ask and do a little happy dance. I haven’t been swimming in… well, since Seth left. He cracks a smile and swats my butt, not acknowledging my questioning.
“Just go get dressed.”
Luckily, I keep some clothes and shoes in my old room, and change into a bathing suit and jeans. He must want to do some kind of activity if he wants me to wear jeans in the summer, so I grab my cowgirl boots to wear. I skip back downstairs and find Seth looking at some pictures that are on the mantel. In his hand, he’s holding a picture of the two of us when we were kids. I walk up next to him, and he puts his arm around my shoulder, without even looking at me.
“You were such a brat back then.” He puts the picture between us so I can see it too. We were about seven or eight years old in the picture, and we were in the backyard at my house. Dirt covered the both of us, and we looked like we had been play fighting again.
“I was not!” I’m slightly offended.
“Yes you were. You were so bossy.” I guess I was, but I never felt like I had to hide my bossiness from him. He always fought back, and it worked with us. I shrug my shoulders.
“Oh well… you shouldn’t have been such a pussy,” I say back. He lets out a deep laugh and tugs me closer to him. His laugh is like honey, it draws me in and sounds wonderfully smooth in my ears.
“Who wouldn’t be scared of a face like that?”
“What do you see in my face now?” I ask, looking up at him with a smile. His blue green eyes pierce into the depths of my soul as he looks at me, saying so much, yet not saying anything. His other hand comes up to push some of my hair out of my face, and trials it down my neck. I instantly feel a thrilling sense of pleasure course through me.
Ugh I am so lame! I think.
“Now I see you for who you really are…,” he answers vaguely. “What I thought was bossy is the sexiest quality in you. You’re so fucking sexy, Josie.” He says the last part quietly and hoarsely, eyes searching mine.
My palms start to get sweaty, nervous about what he just said. Does this mean he still feels something for me? Could he still want me? I’m so terrified about how his words, look, and touch is affecting me, but my heart is racing like crazy in my chest and it’s not from fear. I look to Seth’s mouth, and instantly crave his lips against mine. He’s got full lips that beg to be kissed and bit. I start leaning into him subconsciously, eyes still on his mouth. I hear him moan softly, before leaning his forehead against mine.
We both close our eyes, not sure if we should move the rest of the distance between us. Our breaths combine, heated desire becoming a cloud in our faces. I can’t look at him, because I’m afraid that with one more look, I will give him anything he wants. I’m afraid I’ll show him that I want to love him and be loved by him. I’m still not sure I’m ready for that.
Seth’s hand is playing with the hair that’s resting in the middle of my back, tugging and curling it in his fingers. Each tug sends a shock of heat between my thighs. I’m pretty sure I’m making little noises as he plays with my hair and as I wait for one of us to either break the trance we are in- or deepen it-, but I can only focus on the pulsating energy between us.
With a small groan, Seth pulls away and kisses the top of my head. “Come on, let’s get going before it gets too dark.”
I’m definitely disappointed that he didn’t kiss me, but I have no right to ask him for anything. I chose Blake over him and now I am procuring the repercussions. How can I expect him to want me or to give me another chance when he already was hurt by me once before?
I can’t, and it will have to be something that I fight for if I want it.
Chapter 8
Seth
I’m such a dick. Pussy. Asshole. All of the fucking above.
I want that girl more than I want my next goddamn breath, and I didn’t even kiss her when she was practically begging for it.
The way she looked at my lips, with her green eyes filled with a desire that I had missed seeing from her for the past three years, turned me on and scared the shit out of me at the same time. I wanted to crush myself against her and show her what she’s been missing, but the fact that she chose to miss out on what I could have given her in the first place, held me back. She’s right, I’m a pussy.
The next opportunity I get to kiss her, I’m not going to let myself get scared. I can’t make her mine if I don’t show her how much I want her. I’d rather have my heart broken a million fucking times over, than miss out on one more single kiss.
We pull up to my house, and I sneak a peek at Josie sitting next to me. She’s dressed casually, in a green tank top, bikini straps showing, and worn out jeans, but to me, she looks phenomenal. I could take her to the fanciest place in the world in what she’s wearing right now, and know without a doubt that she’s the most gorgeous girl in the room.
There’s a smudge of black grease on the back of her neck where she likes to rub while she’s thinking and working on the car. I’ve never been more turned on than when I watch her work on a car or when she would come to me with blackened hands and smudges of grease on her perfect skin. Her long dark brown hair is wavy and loose, just the way I like it, and she’s only wearing a little bit of eyeliner. She’s fucking perfect.
But the thing I love about her the most is that she doesn’t complain that I’ve taken her to my childhood home for us to spend time together. She doesn’t need to be taken to a fancy dinner to be happy, and I fall in love with her all over again as I watch her eyes light up with excitement when we park. She probably knows what we’re doing, nothing extravagant, but she’s still excited.
“Ready?” I ask, turning toward her. She whips her head to me, wild hair covering half her face and filling my senses with the smell of her spearmint shampoo. She’s biting the bottom corner of her lip as she smiles, trying to hide some of her exhilaration, but I know her too well. She finally lets out a little squeal, the cutest fucking sound ever, and jumps in her seat.
“Am I going to get to ride Kitten?” she asks, eagerly.
Kitten is the horse I kind of got and named for her.
I say kind of because she doesn’t actually know that the horse is hers. I got it for her the summer that we started our fling as an outlet
for her to let go of some of the turmoil that she tries to hide behind her eyes. I just told her it was a new horse that we got, chickening out of explaining to her that I felt like the beauty and strength of the horse are the very things that I adore in her. She fell in love with Kitten as soon as she first rode her.
“Yep. Thought we could take a ride, since you haven’t been here to ride her since I’ve been gone,” I say, getting out of the truck.
She has a lot further to jump, but she does it effortlessly. She walks up to me, grin intact, and I wrap my arm around her shoulders while we walk toward the barn. She fits perfectly in my arm. I’m tall and she’s short, but it’s as if her body was made specifically to fit in mine. We get to the top of one hill, and we both look at each other before we start walking down the slope. I see the mischievousness in her eyes instantly, so it doesn’t take me by surprise when she quickly pulls away from my hold.
“Last one to the barn is a rotten egg!” she yells, racing down the hill. I knew she was going to do that, so I’m on her heels in an instant. My long legs make it easier to cover more distance than her, but she always thinks she can beat me. She turns her head toward me as I start jogging next to her, hair in her face and looking sexy as hell while trying to keep up with me. She starts to stumble, so I instantly reach out and grab her before she hits the ground. I grab her hand, but she’s already falling and pulls me with her.
We roll the rest of the way down the hill, becoming a tangled mess along the way. I hold onto her and try to cushion the impact of the hard ground against her petite body. She ends up on top of me, when we come to a stop at the bottom. Both of her hands are braced against my chest and we are both breathing fast, either from the excitement of being close together or from the run, I don’t know.
All I know is that I fucking love her hands on me. I have my hands gripping tightly onto her hips, wanting to pull her even closer to me. Her eyes are wild with a blend of excitement and something I can’t quite put my finger on. She leans her face toward mine, breathing her sweet breath in my face. I can’t make my heart stop beating hard in my chest if I wanted to. Her nose touches mine, and I get ready to close the distance between us.
“I win,” she whispers, and takes one of her arms and reaches it out past me. She starts cracking up laughing, and rolls off of me.
She thinks she’s so goddamn funny, but my hard cock and I think she’s cruel. But even if I wanted more in that moment, nothing can compare to the sound of Josie laughing. She giggles so hard, gripping her stomach as she lets herself be free for one fragment of a second. This is all I ever want. I want to see her happy and laughing, even when the world around her is dark and cruel. I laugh with her, unable to not join in when she’s laughing so hard. I get up and give her my hand to help her up.
“You’re going to pay for that,” I whisper in her ear when I pull her flush against my body. I hear a small sexy gasp escape her mouth, then let her go.
We walk into the barn and walk to Kitten’s stall first. Josie walks in, and the horse raptures her attention instantly. I watch as Josie gracefully and sweetly places her hand on Kitten’s nose, stroking it and talking to the horse softly. I lean against the wooden entrance, incapable of looking away. She lets the horse get to know her again, and I see Kitten relax while Josie strokes her.
“I’m sorry I haven’t come by lately,” Josie talks to the horse tenderly, grabbing the saddle from outside the stall. “I promise I’ll come back and bring you a big treat this week.” She whispers to the horse as if the horse completely understands her, and it’s so adorable. I feel my heart constrict in my chest, a painful longing and need consuming my emotions. I look away, and move toward my horse to get him ready for a ride.
Sometimes it hurts to look at her. I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life than I am about wanting to spend the rest of my life with her, and every second that she’s not mine, is an aching reminder that she still hasn’t chosen me.
Ash is an American Paint Horse that has a brown chestnut coat with splotches of white across his body. My dad got him for me when I about 10 years old, which explains why I used a character from Pokémon to name him. I saddle him up, and put his bit in so we can head out on the trail. I walk him out into the corral, and Josie comes out soon after, looking like a fucking goddess on top of the majestic creature.
Josie’s horse is an Appaloosa and is white with black spots covering her body. Josie’s a natural on the horse, never needing any instruction on how to handle the ride, so I open the gate and walk out Ash and wait for Josie. After I locked up the gate, I climb onto my horse and trot up next to Josie and Kitten.
“Thought we could ride to the back part of our farm, and then take the trail in the woods,” I tell her. I know I chose the right thing to do, when she graces me with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. I hope she doesn’t hear the moan I let out as I look at her, but I can’t help that she turns me on so easily.
“I’ll meet you at the woods,” she says and makes her horse canter into the open field. I’m not far behind her, and I enjoy the sight of her looking so free while riding her horse. Her hair is blowing behind her, but she’s never been the type to care if her hair gets messed up from the wind or rain.
She’s sexy as fuck lifting her ass up and down on the saddle as she rides. The material of her jeans stretches, showing off her perfectly round backside and making me even hungrier for her. I shake my head, and focus on my ride. I don’t need a hard dick while I am on the back of a fucking horse.
The same peace that Josie feels when she rides, is the exact feeling I get when I ride, too. It’s the one thing that I could do to take my thoughts in a different direction. I rode a lot after Josie almost died. I couldn’t get over the guilt and horror of almost losing her, so I would ride to try and clear my head. I can’t erase my guilt. I can’t make everything disappear, but for a few minutes, I can feel a sense of relief as I ride into the open spaces.
We slow down as we approach the start of the wooded area on our land. Josie’s face is one of pure relief and contentment, when I look at her. I grin, and trot ahead to start on the trail. We’ve been through these woods tons of times, but it’s been a while since she’s been in here, so I keep my horse next to hers as we go through.
“Thank you, Seth,” she says quietly, looking ahead.
“It’s nothing, Pussy Cat.”
“It’s not nothing. You have no idea what this means to me.” She looks so serious, her eyes filled with sincerity when she finally looks at me.
“You have no idea what you mean to me, Jos,” I say back. She’ll never understand. She hides and ignores her emotions, never accepting the full power of passion that I’m offering her, so she doesn’t get it. She stays silent after I say that to her, lost in thought. When she finally speaks again, it’s a bit of a disappointment.
“So where was your favorite location to shoot while you were away?”
“That’s hard… I loved this place in Switzerland… Lauterbrunnen. It wasn’t extravagant, and that’s exactly what I loved about it. It was almost like a village stuck in time. They have like 72 waterfalls there… it was amazing to capture. You would have liked it.” I went to a lot of places, but that place stuck out, because it reminded me so much of Josie. I knew as soon as I got there, that it was a location she would have loved.
“It sounds amazing… I liked the pictures you took in Barcelona. I want to go there,” she says, surprising me.
“I didn’t know you saw my pictures.” She looks at me with an incredulous look on her face.
“Are you dumb?” she asks. She lets out a light laugh and shakes her head. “There’s no way I would miss your pictures being published, Seth. I’ve always loved your photographs.”
“I didn’t know,” I say almost to myself. I didn’t think she would ever want to keep up with me after the way I left. Calling her a bitch and then leaving the country without telling her a couple weeks later, isn’t something I thought s
he would take well.
I thought for sure that she would never want to talk to me again. I certainly never expected an email from her. I remember having my laptop in my bed, checking my email while I had some girl sucking my dick, and being shocked to see her message come up. “I miss you,” was all she said, but it was more than I could have ever asked for. I kicked the girl out in an instant and let myself suffer in the memory of my best friend alone.
We stay silent for a little longer, before we come to the point where I planned on taking her. She must not remember where we are, because she looks confused as we veer off the beaten trail. About a minute further, we come up to a lake.
The green, wild grass blankets the ground around a large tranquil mass of water. The placid serenity of the atmosphere is discordant with the gruffness of the woods that we just came from, but it’s always been a place of solitude and contentment for us. Josie and I used to come out here in the summers to cool off, and I thought it’d be advantageous to remind her of every good memory we’ve had together.
“Oh my god!” she says excitedly. “I completely forgot about this!”
“I figured.” I laugh and get off of Ash.
We tie the horses to the post Dad built so we can enjoy the rest of our night. My dad also built a pier for us on the water so we could have something to jump off of when we came here. I lift my shirt over my head, right in front of her, taking my time and hoping to see a reaction I like. I do.
I watch as she sucks in a breath and her eyes travel across my arms, chest, and stomach. She never was very good at hiding when she was checking me out, and it obviously hasn’t changed. The way her eyes heat up and glaze over with a look of desire that I know very well, makes me want to take her right here in the damn woods. I smirk and raise my eyebrows when she finally reaches my eyes. She swallows and averts her gaze. She turns around and takes off her tank top.
That's a Lie Page 6
