“Come on, Jos! I already got you covered with the principle. Grab your shit and let’s go.”
“Seth!” He sighs overdramatically and then flashes me a sexy grin.
“We’re gonna officially be godparents… Brooke’s at the hospital.”
I squeal, do a little happy dance to my desk, and grab my belongings; I wasn’t expecting her to have the baby for another week, so I’m extremely excited. I check in with the office to make sure it’s okay to leave, and they confirm that Seth already worked it out with them.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me as soon as you walked in. What if we miss the baby being born?” I chastise him as we walk out the front doors.
“We won’t miss anything. Brandon told me it could take hours before she even has the kid.”
We start toward his truck, but I stop. “Wait. I want to grab something from my car,” I say and start walking in the opposite direction.
“Ugh, Jos…” Seth grumbles, following me to my car. I grab my CD and we head back to his vehicle.
“Pussy Cat, I am not listening to that on the ride there.” We get into the truck and I take the CD out of the case.
“Too bad… we made a compromise. I would hold off on listening to Christmas music until December first and you would let me listen to it anytime I wanted until December twenty fifth. That was the deal. So I get to listen to my favorite Christmas album.” I put it in the player, sit back, and smile at his pained expression.
“It’s not like you play a bunch of different Christmas music, Jos. You play this same CD over and fucking over again. Drives me nuts.”
“Justin Bieber has the voice of an angel, Seth… I love this CD, and you love me, so you have to listen to it.” He groans and starts the engine, Justin Bieber’s voice filling the cab with his Christmas tunes.
“If I drive this car off a cliff on the way there, don’t act surprised when we see each other in Paradise.” I laugh and hit his arm. He pulls up to the stop sign before leaving the parking lot and takes my hand in his, looking at me with a sweet smile.
“Ready to go meet our godbaby?”
I grin back. “Absolutely.”
When we get to the hospital about forty minutes later, I’m so nervous and excited. Seth grabs my hands when we get out of the car, and stops me from walking ahead.
“Can you do me a favor?” he asks, turning his head and pointing to his ear. “Can you check to see if the bleeding in my ear is as bad as it feels?”
“Shut up, Seth!” I shove him away, but he comes back chuckling and grabs my hand to walk us into the hospital.
“I’m going to break that CD when you’re sleeping.”
“It’s on my iPod too.”
“I’ll break that, too,” he grumbles. He pulls out his phone to call Brandon so we know where to go, and he stops in his tracks when Brandon answers.
“What? What’s wrong?” I ask, worry pumping into my chest rapidly.
“We’ll be up in a minute,” Seth says, hanging up. He turns to me and wraps his arms around my waist. He kisses my cheek and speaks to me with his lips grazing my skin. “So, you know how I told you it would take hours before Brooke had the baby?”
“Seth Montgomery!”
“Yeah… She already had the baby… I’m so sorry.”
“I’ll yell at you later. Take me there.” He laughs lightly and leaves a tantalizing kiss on my lips before grabbing my hand and taking me to the elevator. We walk out and find the room that Brandon said they were in, and knock on the door with our hands locked together. Brandon opens it with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen from him. His shaggy dark brown hair is a crazy mess, and his clothes are wrinkled, but the look on his face gives no impression that it’s been a rough few hours.
I hug him as soon as we walk in.
“Is it a boy or girl?” I ask, turning toward Brooke’s bed. She looks incredible. You know… the girl you hate for looking so good after just having a baby? That’s Brooke. Her blonde hair is in pretty curls, and her make-up looks flawless. Even her hospital gown is pink cheetah print. She holds a bundle in her arms, and speaks to it softly, smile never faltering.
She’s so in love with that baby.
“It’s a boy!” Brandon announces, coming up next to Brooke’s side and staring at his son. I have a godson! Seth snakes his arm around my waist and plants a kiss in my hair, breathing me in deeply. It’s a beautiful sight- Brandon and Brooke, perfect together and so in love, falling in love with their baby right before our eyes.
“We named him Alec David… After Brandon’s grandfather,” Brooke says, looking up at us with a gorgeous smile.
“I love the name, Brooke.” I want to go up to him. I want to take him in my arms and hold him and kiss him, but I don’t want to intrude on their moment. And also, I’m scared. Should they even be trusting me with their baby?
“Want to hold him?” she asks, touching her baby’s cheek gently with her finger.
I hold my breath and my heart pounds in uncertainty. I’ve never held a baby before, so I have no clue what I’m doing. Brandon walks up to us and hands me the baby before I can even reply. I mimic the way they both were holding him, and cradle his head in the crook of my arm.
“Oh my god…,” I whisper when I look at him. I graze my thumb over his cheek and try to push back the swell of emotions. He’s got the cutest button nose, blonde hair that’s barely noticeable, his eyes are closed as if it’s too bright in the room, his lips are puckered, and his tongue is moving in and out of his mouth. He’s the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen.
Seth’s arms wraps around my stomach, and he holds me to his chest while looking over my shoulder to see our godson.
“He’s so handsome,” I say softly, turning my head to look up at Seth. He’s got the cutest and most charming grin on his face, looking at the little boy who just stole our hearts. His eyes meet mine, and they search mine briefly before he leans down and kisses me.
“You look mighty good with a baby in your arms, Pussy Cat,” he says when he pulls back, voice heavy with emotion. My heart surges enormously at his words, and I have to look away from the intense look he’s giving me. It’s almost like he just realized something so profound, and the earnestness in his expression is so strong, it makes my heart feel like it needs to jump out and reach for him.
Seth’s left arm holds me tighter against his chest, and brings his right hand to caress Alec’s soft head. We both stare at him, completely mesmerized. We hear a click of a camera, and we both look up to see Brandon snapping a picture of the two of us.
A camera!
“I left my purse in the car. I need to go get my camera.” I gently give Brandon his son back and I start toward the door. Brooke already looks like she will fall asleep any second.
“I’ll get it,” Seth says, coming up to me.
“It’s ok,” I assure him, reaching up and wrapping my arms around his neck. “I’ll be right back. I need to take a ton of pictures.”
“Grab my camera bag, too. I love you.” His thumb rubs my jaw and he leans down to kiss me. It was meant to be a chaste kiss goodbye, but it turned into something so much more. Maybe it was the love in the air or the moment we just shared together, but it feels like so much more than a normal kiss. My hands hold his face and I’m so inundated with love for him.
I’ve never felt so connected to someone- a feeling of neediness and desire overpowering every single experience and moment in a day. When I finally force myself away from his lips, we stare into each other eyes, searching to make sure we are both sharing the same paramount emotion.
“I love you so much.” I squeeze his hand once, and yell at my brain to make my feet walk away. I’ll be right back, I tell myself.
The whole way down to the truck, I try to figure out what is happening to me. I’ve known I’m madly in love with Seth, but I feel a shift in my feelings. It’s stronger and means so much more. Not that it didn’t before, but there’s something else. It’s like
I’m realizing for the first time that I can’t go the rest of my life without him in it. But more than that- I don’t want to. I want to be with him for as long as we survive this world, and then some more.
No. That’s not even close to how long I want him. I can’t put my finger on the difference, I just know that he’s everything I’ve been looking for without even knowing.
I grab my purse and the camera bag out of the truck and head upstairs hurriedly. I’ll figure out my emotions later when I’m not overloaded with so many feelings.
When I walk in the hallway, I see Brandon on his phone with a stupid grin on his face. He must be calling everyone and letting them know that his baby is here. I wonder if Seth would be that excited if he had a kid. I shake my head of those thoughts, unsure of why my mind went in that direction.
When I walk into the room, I’m greeted by a sight that will forever be burnt into my memory because of its beauty. Brooke’s asleep in her bed, and Seth’s blonde hair falls over his eyes slightly as he looks down at the tiny infant he’s holding in his strong tattooed arms. The sight takes my breath away, and my heart knocks loudly against my chest. Seth talks softly and coos to baby Alec, while gently rocking him in his arms.
I remember when his father had a heart attack and thinking how sweet it was to see this tattooed, tough cocky man comforting a fragile older woman, but there is something even more gorgeous about seeing him in love with a tiny baby. I feel someone come up behind me, but I’m too captivated by Seth that I don’t pay attention. I’m not sure what’s building inside of me, but it feels like a yearning for something new- something I didn’t think I’d ever want.
I keep my eyes on him, and eventually he looks up to see me leaning against the wall and staring at him. A languid grin starts on his full lips as we look at each other, feeling the same longing across the room. Then his eyes dart behind me, and a glower replaces his calm and placid expression. I look behind me and find dark brown eyes staring at me.
Blake’s quick to notice me looking, but not quick enough to completely hide the sadness and ache in his eyes before putting back the steel wall that I’ve now become used to. A flashback of him walking out my door brokenhearted flares in my head, and I start to feel sad about where we’ve come. I’m sad that we weren’t ever able to open up to each other the way we should have, because we probably wouldn’t dislike each other so much if we had.
Any sadness I have is washed away as his glare turns into one of complete hatred. How can he change so quickly? I bristle under his scowl and start to walk toward the one person I know loves me. Being around Blake is too hard. I hate him. I care for him. I’m sorry for him. I really don’t know what to feel when he’s around.
Brandon walks into the room, and I immediately feel bad for the situation we just put him in. He shouldn’t have to worry about refereeing us on the day his son is born. That’s not fair.
“Uh… Blake can I talk to you a minute?” Brandon asks, pulling Blake from the room. When the door shuts, I turn to Seth, whose jaw is tense.
“You look mighty good with a baby in your arms, Seth,” I say, coming up to him and Alec. There’s a slight tug of a smile on his lips, and I take comfort in that.
“Do you want to leave?” he asks quietly, placing a kiss on the baby’s head. Cue the motherfucking “awws.” I practically melt right in front of him.
“I wanted to gets some pictures.”
“We can come back later.” I shake my head and take my camera out of my purse, turning it on to take a couple pictures of Alec and Seth. I don’t want to run away from Blake forever. I promised myself I would pick myself up and move on. I’ve made a new life with Seth and I don’t need to run away whenever he’s around. If he can’t handle being in the same room as me, then that’s on him.
“Your godmommy is so stubborn,” Seth coos to Alec, making me smile. Is that a puddle on the floor? Oh, why yes it is… it’s me melting from adorable overload.
“I’m not stubborn, just don’t appreciate a bully making me feel like I have to leave every time he’s around.”
“Tell her, Alec… she’s a crazy woman!” Seth teases, talking to the baby again. I know Seth is worried about me getting hurt, but it almost feels like he needs me to leave- like he’s trying to shelter me from something. Blake can’t do much worse to me than he did the last time I saw him.
“You are not turning him against me already,” I reprimand playfully, returning our attention to the cute bundle in his arms.
“Well, I have to be his favorite somehow.”
“You’ll never be his favorite. I’m an elementary school teacher, I’ll know exactly what he wants and what’s cool and happening.”
“Yeah? Well I’m a photographer who takes pictures of naked women… who do you think he’d rather hang out with?”
“You’re good,” I say, pursing my lips to the side and narrowing my eyes at him.
A nurse walks into the room and smiles at us. Actually, she smiles at Seth, and I don’t like that smile. He looks fucking gorgeous, especially holding a baby, and I don’t want anyone else thinking the same thing. Yes, I know I’m being ridiculous, but he’s mine.
“I need to take the baby in for a couple tests,” she says sweetly, walking up to me and Seth. Her blonde hair and blue eyes are exactly his type. Seth hands her the baby, and I notice that he’s careful not to let her touch him in the exchange. She puts him in his warmer and rolls the cart out of the room.
“Wanna get some lunch?” Seth asks and grabs my hand to pull me into him.
“Yes! I’m starving.” He kisses the tip of my nose, and tugs me out of the room. I want to find Brandon first to let him know they took the baby and ask if he wants us to pick up anything, so we start our search for him. We find him down the hall with Blake talking in harsh, hushed voices.
“Come on, Jos. We’ll call him.” I crease my brows and look up at Seth. What is he so worried about? I walk down the hall anyway and overhear some of their conversation.
“Are you kidding me, Brandon? This must be a joke.”
“Chill out, Blake. He’s my best friend.”
“I’m your brother! It should have been Josie and me, not him.”
“It should be whoever the fuck Brooke and I want it to be. It’s none of your business.” I see Blake’s muscles bulging in his arms as his fists clench. He must have just found out about us being Alec’s godparents, but I don’t understand his anger. Why does he care?
“It should have been me and her. That’s my Josie, and you’re acting like those two are going to stay together.”
“That’s because I do think-,”
“I’m not your anything, Blake.” I say walking up to them, finally. I can feel Seth’s anger palpitating behind me, but I keep walking. Blake jerks his head in my direction, and I see his hurt and annoyance immediately.
“Stay out of this, Jo,” he says through gritted teeth, looking away from my glare.
“Not when you’re using my name in your conversation. I’m not yours, Blake. You don’t get to push me around anymore.”
“Anymore? Are you serious?” he asks exasperated and looking back at me again. “I treated you like you were fucking god’s gift to humanity! I didn’t fucking push you around. Ever.”
“That’s not-,”
“No, Jo! Don’t try to make up for what you said. You can’t take things back, Josie. You can’t just make things go away and act like they didn’t happen!”
“I’m not-,”
“You are!” He’s raising his voice, and Seth comes up next to me. “You are. You try to justify things as if you’re always the victim, but you’re not. You deserve every bit of hatred I have for you. That’s not pushing you around. That’s fucking justice for everything you’ve done.”
“That’s so unfair,” I say quietly, a note of hurt in my voice. Seth tries to pull me into him, but I shove him away. Blake throws his head back and barks out a fake laugh.
“Unfair? You want to ta
lk about unfair? How about the fact that the girl I was crazy about murdered my baby before I even had a chance to make things right? How about the fact that my brother here thinks that it’s smart to let you be my nephew’s godparent even after knowing what you did? You shouldn’t be allowed around anyone’s kids.”
I feel Seth jerk next to me, but I step in front of him, putting my shoulder in the way so he doesn’t come closer. This is between me and Blake. Blake’s glower holds so much hatred- so much that it pains me to look at him because it reminds me too much of someone else.
“Your father raped me Blake! He held me against a wall choking me until I was about to pass out while he tore me open and raped me. He almost killed me! And I forgave you for lying to me about knowing that! I fucking forgave you! And you couldn’t take a fucking minute and try to understand how it felt for me to carry a baby with his blood?” Blake’s eyes turn angrier as I speak, and he walks up to me, leaving an inch of space. I feel Seth grip my shoulder. I know he’s trying to stop a big scene, but I don’t care. I shrug out of his grip, and stand up tall even though I’m much smaller than Blake.
“I didn’t rape you, Josie. Stop blaming me for what my father did to you.” He lowers head so there’s hardly any space between us and speaks softly but sharply. “You think you’re the bigger person because you forgave me? Forgiveness for trying to protect you? Wow, you are a great person for that, Josie. Forgiving me, and then taking me back to your apartment to fuck in every room- all the while, knowing that you have your own secret. Guess it’s just in your nature though, isn’t it? You used your boyfriend here that whole summer while you were thinking about being with me.” He looks behind me to Seth and smirks mockingly. “How did it feel to be fucking a girl that couldn’t get me out of her head?” He looks back down at me and continues to rip me apart, “Then you come to me and get what you want before dropping the great news that you’re actually a terrible person… A coldhearted bitch.”
He hates me. There’s no denying that in his eyes, so dark brown that they look vicious. I hear a muttered curse behind me, and then feel an emptiness surround me. I hate him, too.
That's a Lie Page 26
