“I couldn’t take my eyes off of you either,” he says, leaning into my neck and playing with my hair. He kisses my neck, and grazes his lips along my jaw. My mouth parts as I attempt to take a breath, suddenly incapable of performing simple functions properly, like breathing. His proximity works me up and I arch my back so my chest hits his. “Every time I see you, I fall in love with you all over again.” He kisses the side of my mouth, and brushes my lips softly before moving to the other side. His hands rest on the bottom of my back and he draws me in further.
“I always think I can’t possibly love you more, but you prove me wrong every single fucking day,” he says, huskily. There’s so much truth and passion in his voice, and my heart flutters as I take in the full effects of his love for me. He pulls my top lip into his mouth and I let out a little whimper. I want so much more.
“I’m so in love with you, Seth,” I whisper against his lips. It’s not even close to the extremity of what I feel for him, but he doesn’t need me to elaborate any further. He kisses me fully as soon as the words leave my lips, and it’s a kiss full of hunger and need. He smells amazing, like apple pie and manliness. And he kisses me like a man should. He kisses me like I’m the only woman worthy of being loved, or like I’m the reason he wakes up every morning.
We continue to kiss even after we hear the photographer giving out instructions on how we should all be situated, neither one of us wanting to break the moment. I love him so much. I need him to know. I want to show him with my hands and mouth just how much I love him. Seth’s calloused hand rests against my cheek and he kisses me back with the same amount of vigor.
“Jesus fucking Christ, you two!” Brooke yells, clapping her hands next to our ears. I can feel Seth’s anger before I even open my eyes to look at him. We both love the girl, but she sure as hell knows how to ruin a moment. And what a fucking moment that was. I could kiss him for days.
“Brooke, I swear to god, I’m going to smack you the next time you do that,” Seth grumbles and grabs my hand. I look over to the group and I find most everyone staring at us. Maybe we were kissing longer than I realized.
My gaze locks with familiar dark brown eyes, and I feel sad. He looks unhappy as he watches me, and I feel a little guilty for flaunting my relationship in front of him. I hadn’t even noticed him at all today; I’ve been so focused on Seth. Blake’s holding Alec against his shoulder, and I think that’s where a lot of the guilt is coming from. His hand rubs the baby’s back and his arms bounce Alec while he cries.
I can tell he loves his nephew, and I feel remorseful that I could have given him his own child if I hadn’t taken it away from him. I wonder if the guilt will ever go away entirely.
We survive the pictures without any more bitching from Brooke, and it’s finally time to party. I’ve been dying to have Seth wrap his arms around me and dance with me all day. Instead, Dad offers his hand to me as soon as we finish eating, and I get up to dance with him.
“Did you do that on purpose?” I ask, holding onto his shoulders.
Dad lets out a low chuckle and flicks his eyes in Seth’s direction, who is watching us with a serene look. He’s not mad, but I can tell he wanted to be dancing with me already.
“Of course. He’s about to have you all to himself as of tomorrow, gotta get my time in when I can.”
I smile and we dance to the slow song a little longer before I ask him another question. “Dad, did you ever want to get married to Daddy?”
A forlorn smile tugs on his lips as he remembers Daddy, and he says, “Of course I did, Josie Bean. We both did, but it wasn’t an option for us here. That’s why we did the commitment ceremony. It wasn’t an official marriage, but it was our way to declare ourselves to each other.”
“Do you feel like you missed out? Or feel like it’s unfair?”
“Your Daddy and I had everything a marriage between a man and woman would have, and what we had was more than I can say for a lot of the other people getting married out there. I don’t feel like we missed out in that sense, but it would have been nice to give your Daddy the wedding he wanted. He was my husband in every sense of the word.” He looks down at me and gives me a sweet smile. My tough, bulky dad is a softy at heart. “I know how you’ve felt about getting married, Josie, but if the opportunity ever came up, I would hope you wouldn’t pass up the chance to get married to someone you love.” His eyes glance in Seth’s direction and I peek over to see him talking animatedly to an older lady who looks like she’s going to die any minute from old age.
I don’t say anything else for the rest of the song, but I think about his words the whole time. Seth comes up as soon as the song ends and asks if he can take over. Dad gives me a kiss on the cheek and hands me over to Seth’s care.
“I don’t think we can do another wedding, Jos,” Seth says wrapping his arms around my waist. I lock my fingers behind his neck and smile up at him, swaying to the beat of the music.
“Why’s that?”
“Because I feel like I haven’t had one goddamn minute with you today.”
“You’re cranky… This infatuation with me is not good for your mood,” I deadpan. He pulls me tighter, and kisses the tip of my nose.
“I was doomed the moment you punched me. Been cranky ever since.”
“You sayin’ I make you mean?” I ask, eyes wide. He smiles and kisses my mouth swiftly.
“I’m sayin’ that you make me need you. It’s kind of like when you’re on your period and you’re moody as shit ‘til you get your favorite chocolate. You’re my chocolate, Jos.”
I laugh at his metaphor and pull on his neck so I can give him a little taste of his chocolate.
“Hey Seth, can you help me with something?” Brandon comes up next to us, and I feel Seth’s irritation at another interruption in the way he grips the back of my dress. I giggle and walk out of his embrace. Seth groans but he won’t say no.
He leans forward and gives me a kiss on my cheek. “We’re going home soon, Pussy Cat,” he promises. I smile and nod my head excitedly. I’m ready to go.
Seth and Brandon walk away, and I start to go sit down with Dad, when someone grabs my hand. This time when Blake pulls me to him, it’s much gentler. He lets go once I’m facing him, and I look into his face to see a calmer version of him than I’ve been so used to for the past nine months.
“We don’t have much time before he comes back, but I really need to talk to you, Jo,” he tells me, voice deep and hopeful that I’ll let him talk. I swallow as a mixture of emotions wash over me. I don’t want to go behind Seth’s back, but I don’t feel threatened by Blake right now. “Please…,” he continues, seeing the conflict going on in my head. I close my eyes and let out a breath.
“What do you want?” I ask, finally. We’re in the middle of the dance floor, and I’m not sure if I prefer to be in the middle of everyone, or if I’d prefer we talk in private. For the sake of Seth’s trust, I opt for staying in front of everyone.
Blake steps closer to me, and I step back. I shake my head and I see his expression deflate instantly. He looks so much like he used to, same cropped dark brown hair and stubble along his jaw, but I see pain haunting him in his eyes.
“I wanted you to know how sorry I am. What you said to me the day Alec was born, that I reminded you of my father, it killed me to hear that. I’ve never wanted you to look at me like that. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me, but I never wanted to be like him.”
There’s sorrow laced in each word he speak, and all the anger, guilt, and pain that he’s been making me feel for months is numbed slightly at the potency of his admission. It doesn’t make it okay, but it does help.
“One dance,” he asks, holding out his hand charmingly.
“I can’t.” I shake my head. It’s more than not wanting to hurt Seth, it’s that I feel no desire to dance with him. I don’t feel any pull toward him, and I feel none of the old feelings I used to have. He nods his head, and steps closer. I don’t have any more room to
step back, so I let him come.
“I don’t know if I can forgive you for what you did. I don’t know how to get over it,” he says, voice filled with emotion. My heart breaks for him and this whole situation. I feel terrible I took away something that would have been so precious to him.
“I’m sorry for not telling you. For not telling you when I found out I was pregnant and for not even letting you in on my decision to get an abortion. I’m sorry for not telling you as soon as you came back. I shouldn’t have let it get so far. You’re right, I was selfish,” I confess. His eyes are pained as he looks down at me, an inch of space between us.
“I want to understand. I want to accept that you had your reasons. I’m not you, so I don’t understand it the way you explain it. To me, I see it as you taking away my family.”
“To me, I couldn’t carry a baby for nine months, knowing that I would always be reminded of the darkest day of my life.” He nods his head, but I still see the suffering in his face.
“I just don’t know how to get over it or get past it,” he says softly and shakes his head. “I loved you so much…”
“I wonder a lot if we were ever really in love, Blake,” I admit. “I feel like it was all misguided and filled with so many lies. You were lying to me. I was lying to you. But mostly, I was lying to myself. I feel like what we had was more of me wanting to be in love than us actually being in love.” His hand reaches up to my face and there’s an even more wounded look in his eyes.
“No, Jo… Don’t do that. I loved you more than anything. Please don’t ever second guess a single moment we were together. I was so in love with you. Still love you, I’m just hurt.” His tone is strangled with tormented emotion, and I close my eyes to stop the stinging. I hate admitting that to him, but what I felt with Blake is so dull in comparison to how I feel with Seth. It makes me second guess the whole relationship.
“You trying to fucking die?” Seth growls, pulling me away from Blake. His jaw is tense and ticking, and his hand grips my waist commandingly.
“No,” Blake says, voice and demeanor resigned. “Just apologizing… Take care of her, Seth.” He keeps his eyes on me as he backs away from us, and I feel a peace settle over me at his parting words. Apologies were made and we let go. I let go- no longer feeling the burden of uncertainty and guilt for what I’ve done and what we’ve gone through.
I kind of dread turning to look up at Seth. I can only imagine how bad that looked. When I do look, Seth’s not looking at me angrily. He looks relieved.
“You okay?”
“Better than okay,” I assure him and wrap my arms around his neck. “Are you mad?”
“I heard what you told him, Jos. So no, I’m not mad, I’m happy as hell. My only issue was the way he touched you. I can’t stand for him to touch you.”
His arm wraps around my back and he lifts me up to kiss me. He holds me up with one arm and his other hand tangles in my hair holding onto me tightly.
As we kiss and hold onto each other, I think about how much I love him. Seth’s not the fairytale prince that I was told in my stories that I should love. He’s the bad boy that everyone passes up because they think they can get better or they try to get him in hopes to change him. But he’s so much more than that predetermined assumption, and he sure as hell doesn’t need to be fixed. He’s the best kind of love, because he’s not wrapped in a perfect package. There’s darkness to him, but he’s got more love to offer than anyone I’ve ever known. I’ll go the rest of my life trying to prove to him that I am worthy of what he has to offer, because he can give me so much more than the tall, dark, and handsome that I thought I wanted when I was a little girl.
I told him I was so broken and never expected to ever feel repaired. He loved me anyway, and now I don’t feel broken. I feel complete, whole, and perfect. He’s the prince charming camouflaged as a sexy rebel that I’ve needed the whole time.
“Time to take you home, pretty girl,” Seth mumbles hoarsely against my mouth. I moan lightly and nod my head. I’m so ready to go.
We said goodbye to Alec earlier, so we say goodbye to a very drunk bride and a very horny groom. I kiss my dad on the cheek and tell him we’ll be over for dinner tomorrow, and then we head outside to our cars.
“Meet me at the house.”
“Like our house?” I ask, getting excited. He grins and nods his head, holding up the house keys in his hand.
“That’s the one, Pussy Cat. Be careful.”
Chapter 28
Seth
I pull into the driveway right behind Josie, and make a mental note to talk to her about her driving. She was all over the fucking road. I don’t understand how she hasn’t been in an accident yet, or pulled over for suspicion of drinking and driving.
She gets out of her car and she lets out a tiny squeal as she looks at the house. It’s a three bedroom yellow house that has her perfect kitchen, hardwood floors, and a back porch that overlooks a few acres of land. That porch was important to both of us. I wanted somewhere I could paint, sketch, or take pictures, and she wanted someplace she could sit in a rocking chair and read.
I come up behind her and pick her up in my arms.
“I have a surprise for you in there.” I kiss her forehead, loving the childish excitement in her eyes.
I carry her to the door and unlock it, turning the knob to walk into our first home. I’ll never forget this moment- the way her face lights up as we walk in, the love in her eyes as she looks up at me, and the surprise when she sees her gift leaning up against the fireplace.
She gasps and tears start escaping her pretty eyes as soon as she sees it. I put her down and she walks over to the framed painting to get a better look.
“Seth…” she cries. “Oh my god… it’s so beautiful.” She starts sobbing, sitting on the floor in front of it and crying into her hands. I knew it would make her emotional, but I also knew she would love it. I kneel down next to her and rub her back.
“I always loved that picture,” I tell her soothingly.
I took one of my favorite pictures of her and her dads and painted it onto a canvas that she could save and look at every day. Her dads are looking at each other with a smile on their faces and a teenage Josie sits in between them laughing candidly. It’s so beautiful.
“Where did you find the picture?”
“I took it from one of your photo albums one night a while ago. I finished it a few months ago, but once you agreed to move in with me, I held off on giving it to you until we found a place to hang it up.”
She reaches out and touches the canvas daintily, tears still streaming down her perfect face.
“You will never understand what this means to me,” she whispers shakily. I grab her chin and turn her face to me.
“You will never understand what this means to me. The fact that you love me is a concept I never thought I’d be lucky enough to experience. This painting is nothing compared to how you make me feel when I wake up next to you every day.”
She grabs the sides of my face and brings her mouth to mine, kissing me heatedly. I kiss her back with the same passion, pull her to straddle my lap, and get lost in the moment with her. I run my tongue across her lips until she lets me into her mouth, and play with her tongue. She moans and grips me harder. I push myself up and keep her wrapped around me as I take her to what’s going to be our bedroom. I already set up an air mattress earlier, so I lay her on it, my mouth never leaving hers.
The connection we have, the passion and ardor, is evident in every sweep of our tongues, caress of our hands, and every moan or groan. I lay on my back and pull her on top of me. Her hair drapes around me, wafting my senses with her spearmint shampoo, and her hands untuck the shirt out of my dress pants. As soon as she loosens it, her hands are on my abs in a flash.
Her soft hands on my hard skin is such a turn on, I let out a moan and kiss her harder. She unbuttons my vest and shirt so she can get better access to my chest, and her mouth moves to my stomach the instant
my shirt is open. Oh fuck, her tongue is so hot, and her eyes too, looking at me while she licks her way up to my piercings. I start pulling down the zipper on the side of her dress because I need her to be naked. I need to feel her soft skin against mine.
She continues to turn me on while I unzip her and untie her sash. I need to taste her, the vanilla scent on her skin is becoming too tantalizing for me not to have my mouth on her.
“Don’t move,” I tell her. I slide down between her legs that are straddling me until my face is right under her pussy. I slide her dress up to her waist and rip the thong she has on.
“Told you to stop fucking wearing these,” I say before pulling her hips down to my face.
“Oh…. Seth.” She sighs my name like it’s a sacred prayer. I lick her wet pussy and her throbbing clit, never getting enough of her sweet taste. I grip her hips tightly, not wanting her to move away, and once she lets go of her reserves, she starts grinding against my face the way I want her to.
There is nothing sexier to me than having my girl rub her pussy on my tongue so she can get off. “I’m gonna come,” she says coarsely, grinding harder. She jerks and I feel her collapse onto the bed. I slide out from under her and take off my shirt and pants. My cock is hard and throbbing to be inside of her. Josie’s still experiencing the euphoric aftereffects of her orgasm, so I slide her dress off for her.
“Look at me, Jos,” I tell her as I slide up to her. I knead her breasts and wait for her to open her eyes. When she does, I brush her hair back and lean down to kiss her softly. “I love you so much,” I whisper against her lips and slide my dick inside of her slicken cunt.
Her mouth parts open and she gasps. I lean my forehead against hers as I rock in and out of her. Josie is absolutely the only girl for me. No one else could ever live up to the standards she’s set. She doesn’t even understand what she’s done to me. She consumes me, and I know I’ll never love anyone else as fiercely as I love her.
That's a Lie Page 30
