I couldn’t wait to go home to her. I couldn’t wait to be with her in our home together.
Our home.
Those words were ones I was proud to say.
Our relationship changed drastically over the past few months. Challenges were brought to us, especially with terms of trust, but I never let anything stop our connection. Nothing was going to tarnish what we had together. I didn’t need to hear the words, I love you, from her. I knew she felt it.
She showed me every day.
She showed me when she chose to change for me.
She showed me when she chose to give in to only me.
The moments we’ve shared together were so different from what I shared so long away with Carolyn. I needed to stop my inner comparisons of the two of them, but it weighs on me how opposite everything is. How perfect everything is. I don’t want anything to ruin the connection we have with one another.
I strapped on my gear. It felt like a decade since I felt the weight on me. It was impeccable though how easy it was to put get everything aligned as if I’ve done it every day of my life. As quickly as I could I jumped within the back of the truck and we were on our way.
Adrenaline pumped within my veins. It felt good to be back on the front line. For so long my days consisted of a collared white shirt and an office. I secretly yearned to be back within the flames where I first started the journey. I was young and ambitious and the thrill of the fires intrigued me to make a career out of my thrill seeking position. I’ll never forget those first days. I felt so out of place, yet completely at home in the same aspect. It was like how Phoenix made me feel – always on edge, yet so comforted all in one.
The first fire was something small and easy to attain, it wasn’t until the one later that night that tested my limits. It tested every inch of my soul and heart. It also tested my passion. Carrying a young woman, seven months pregnant, out of a burning apartment complex just as the walls gave down behind us was the life changing for me. In that moment, I realized I knew this is what I wanted to do with my life. On the end of an office, you sometimes lose that realization. You always feel it, but it’s not always front and center in your memory. It stores itself in the back, ready to come out in times of need. The ride in the truck allowed that to come out for me. I was right back to that day that changed my life forever.
I felt clammy as the excitement built up within me. I was ready to relive my younger days within the department. Sure, it’s been some time, but it was like riding a bike. I could pick it up easily.
We pulled up to the school moments later and there they were – the flames that drove each of us every day. The fire roared at our presence. It knew what we were there to do. It knew we were there to ruin it before it could ruin anything else any longer.
My heart pumped at the sight before me. I was ready to prove my ability to be within the field once again. I was ready to do what I needed for those on the line.
“Captain, the fire is out of control. What are we gonna do to contain it? It’s already taken up the whole west hall of the building and is proceeding north.” Johnson pointed towards the flames.
“Gather every type of water power we have. Control the lines Phillips, I don’t want this gaining any more power than it already has. Smith, let’s get the latter ready over on the north side to eliminate its progression. Johnson, you and Monti are with me. Let’s head to the west hall and see what we can do to stop it where it started.”
“You got it, Captain.”
“Let’s move it guys.” They all followed my direction and moved to their assigned tasks. “We’re gonna take this bitch down.” I was determined.
The flames changed colors before me like a chameleon. I saw its strength but knew the degree of mine as well. The strength and a commitment of a determined man is lethal to what task it must eliminate.
Screams from the students and teachers echoed within my ear as they fueled my determination. My heart hurt for them as they watched their school burn within the flames. Most of the school was lucky to have already been outside for their field day events, but what worked as a grace of God for most of their safety, worked against them for time of action. Apparently the fire burned through most of the hall before anyone even noticed.
Black smoke clouds hovered the top of the building and poured out of all exits and entrances as we progressed inside. Beams fell before us upon our arrival. We dodged their presence and made our way in. Smoke filled every inch of the hallway as we blasted what flames we could with our high pressured water. I tugged the hose as I moved further down the hall to stop its progression. It already destroyed so much. The flames were decreasing in size as the building around us was ready to do so as well.
“We need more water,” I hollered out. “Monti, get on it. Johnson, let’s head deeper.”
Sweet streamed down my face as we progressed deeper within the damaged building.
“Captain, the north-way has been extinguished. We calmed it down and the last of the flames are being put out now.”
“Alright, great. We are heading your way. I have Johnson with me.”
“Roger that.”
My heart pumped fast within my chest. I was anxious. I had to try to contain this beast and stop it from taking over the building. I didn’t want a repeat of the warehouse with its total destruction.
We paced ourselves as we worked within the building. “Johnson, start with the room on the left. I’ve got this one on the right.”
He nodded at my orders and we parted ways.
Flames arched their way up the windows that were blown out, and rimmed the ceiling and walls. Thank God for our suites. The heat and weight at times were almost unbareable, but damn did they do their job as I worked within fire filled door entrances.
Everything around me roared. I thought of Phoenix as I looked at the shades of reds in front of me. It reminded me of her hair that flowed so freely within the wind during our trip to San Bernadina beach last month. She looked so beautiful as she smiled at me with each moment of our day together. She has opened up so much with me the past few months. It suprises and impresses me every day how much progression each of us has had with one another.
I couldn’t picture my life without her. I don’t think at this point, she could either. We fit together. We’re perfect. We are what I always wanted, but after everything, never thought I would ever have. Now, I couldn’t imagine ever being without it. I was spoiled with love, even if the words weren’t present in our vocabulary mutually yet. We both felt it and both showed it so what did it matter. I never cared whether the words were ever said, but I feel it bothers her more than me. Maybe she needs to hear that from me? Maybe I should verbally explain that I don’t need to hear it just to feel it.
I was in a daze. I sat there thinking of her as the water poured to diminish the beast in front of me.
“This one’s clear!” Johnson hollered out from the hallway.
“Great, move on to the next one. Almost cleared in here.”
The room was clear and I was on my way to catch up with Johnson. As long as Monti provided the fire power were ready to take on these flames as if they were nothing. No fire intimidated me. No fire overpowered me. We knew when to push on and when to give up, and right now it wasn’t time to give up. We had great progression on all ends so far and I know we will continue to do so.
“Captain, quick. Just ahead.” Johnson called out.
I gripped my hose with both hands and headed in his direction. I never saw it coming. I thought I was observant of everything. I thought I had a handle on the situation.
Chapter Twenty-Six
-Phoenix-
A simple shopping trip was all that was needed for tonight. Sure, I probably have something I could wear if needed, but I wanted to surprise Jaxson. I wanted him to look at my in awe.
The way he looks at me makes me feel like everything I’ve ever questioned before was ready to be answered through him. He made me see things so differently a
nd I thanked God for him every day. I never was a religious person, but I was always thankful for what I had, so if God was the reasoning for him being brought to me in my life, he deserved recognition.
I pulled up to my new favorite shop on Rodeo Drive and smiled as I saw the latest line displayed in the window. Ever since their opening three months ago, I’ve been dying for a reason to come back and pick up something extra special. Their dress designs were out of this world, and just the perfect type for the night I was hoping we would have.
I was ready.
I was ready to give in to my fear and speak the words.
I was ready to put all questions behind and give in to what I knew he wanted.
I was ready to tell Jaxson my true feelings.
I was ready to say “I love you”.
It hit me like a brick wall this afternoon. I questioned the idiocrasy of my actions to ignore what my heart felt and rely on what my head felt. I let my fears get the best of me – a trait I usually didn’t harbor. Sure, I built up walls and created rules, which I guess was like the idea of feared control, but it was different. It was for my protection. It was for their protection. I wasn’t strong minded yet to be able to handle a relationship with someone. No. I had to learn that strength alone. But, when Jaxson came around, something in me broke all the walls I put up with a sledge hammer.
Browsing through the racks, I thought of him. I saw his smile look back at me the day I moved in with him and we lay in our bed together. Our bed. The words in my mind brought a smile to my face. I loved the idea of sharing things with him. I loved the idea of being with him. Maybe I even loved the idea of sharing my life with him. Was I ready for something like that?
He made my heart flutter like no other, and my clit tingle like nothing I’ve experienced before in my life. Thoughts of fucking on his desk trigged within my mind. Images of us pressed against the pole as he fucked the shit out of me with my arms behind it locked in placed trigged a tingly sensation within my pants. He wasn’t even here and he aroused me mentally. Mhm, the thought of his hands upon my body as he touched every pleasure point to bring me to ecstasy. My clit tingled and felt warm as I replayed erotic images of the two of us over the past months.
“Good evening, Miss. Anything special you’re looking for tonight?” A blonde haired young woman with pink and purple highlights all throughout her hair questioned with a welcoming smile.
I turned to greet her back. “Hello, yes actually. My boyfriend-“ I paused mentally as I heard the words escape from my lips aloud for the first time since we got together. Boyfriend… I don’t think I’ve ever repeated those words in my life. It was foreign territory, but surprisingly I liked it. I was changing in all kinds of ways and for the first time, I was ready for the challenge once again.
“Sorry, yeah, my boyfriend and I are going out to some new classy restaurant tonight that just opened in the valley, and I wanted the perfect dress to fit the evening.”
“Aw, that’ sounds so sweet. You must have yourself a lucky man,” the young woman smiled sincerely.
“I do,” I bowed my head and blushed. The words were true. I was lucky.
“Well, let’s see what we have here. How about you look through these racks and I’ll grab you a few selections that just came in that may fit what you’re looking for?” I nodded. “Then ill meet you over at the dressing room, ok?”
“Great. Thank you.”
My hands skimmed the multiple fabrics before me. Silk, to cotton to some type of rough and tough fabric all circled the racks ready to be moved on to the next part of their lives. There were so many versatile looks it was hard to focus on finding one outfit. I wanted so many of the options available, I was torn.
After minutes of internal struggle, I found three options that I fell in love with. Two were black and one was silver with white sequenced lining. I headed to the dressing room where the woman I spoke with had already gathered a collection of choices for me to browse through. I was happy for her help. I felt like I really needed it. I was so indecisive.
“Oh, hey.” She looked up, a stunning strapless dress still within her hand. “You found some options.” A smile came across her face. “Let’s see what we have to work with, shall we?”
The woman clearly had taste. It was as if just from our brief encounter, she already knew my style. She was on point with everything she brought; all but one dress that exposed just a bit too much for my taste.
I smirked at the dresses before me. They were beautiful and jaw dropping – exactly what I needed. Six dresses, one already marked out, tempted themselves upon me in the dressing room area.
“Let’s give a few a try. Are ya ready?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna take all these in but this one,” I held up the overly exposed dress. “It’s just a bit too much for me,” I winced.
She laughed at my remark. “No problem sweetie. I totally understand.” She grabbed the dress and placed it upon the rack behind her with the rest of the rejected options from other curious shoppers.
My stomach began to turn as my nerves started to get the best of me within the small walls of the room. I was excited and a little scared all at the same time. I pulled the first dress up over my shoulders and stretched back and forth to admire all angles of myself in the mirror. It was beautiful with its heart shaped neckline and beaded back, but it just wasn’t what I imagined for tonight. I hung it up on the right rack to start a rejection pile.
Two more dresses were placed to the right at I picked up what seemed like the perfect option. I pulled the black; heart shaped dress from my hips to my shoulders and zipped up the back as far as could by alone. I stood in the mirror and smiled at the vision before me. The tightness hugged my curves perfectly. Gold embroidered patchwork hugged the neckline and in an open laced fashion created haltered look. The gold patchwork hugged my hips as if it was a belt and kissed my curves down past my behind. It was beautiful and breathtaking – exactly what I needed.
I examined myself for a moment more and smiled at the reflection that stared back at me. I looked to see a smiling, happy, strong woman, who for the first time in her life, had it all.
I undressed and grab the other options to drape them on my right arm as I walked out of the room.
“Well? What happened?” The inquisition of the young woman made me feel good about her interest in my choice.
“I found it. It’s perfect.” I held up the dress I chose and she smiled sincerely.
“It’s beautiful. You’re gonna have an amazing night dear.”
“Thank you. I believe I will.” I smiled back and we made our way to the register. I sent a quick text to Jaxson to tell him have a good day and good luck. A few more accessories were grabbed as she rung the dress through and I was confident about the night ahead. My life was about to change forever.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
-Captain Michaels-
Life is so funny. It’s simple and yet extravagant and just went you think you can’t be any happier, it surprises you. It brings you people that will change you for the better and sometimes for the worst. I was blessed for the better. It also brings you challenges for the worse. Today my life challenged itself for the worst.
One morning kiss and everything I ever had was ready to be gone from my existence forever. I started my day with a smile and a warm feeling in my stomach, after eating Phoenix’s pussy again of course. Mhmm, I could still smell her scent on my lips as I breathed in deep. Her sweet taste was still present. Oh, how I wish I could kiss those lips again and feel the presence of her warm juice within my mouth. My body and mind yearned for her, but neither were able to understand what was happening. Instead of the feeling of Phoenix’s fingers pressed against my chest, small, circular EKG pads made their presence on my skin. I couldn’t move though. I recognized what was going on to an extent but I was incapacitated I overheard the nurse say. Repetitious beeps escaped the machines I was hooked up to. All I could recognize was light murmurs of voices surrounding
me. I couldn’t understand everything they were saying, but from the sound of things it didn’t look too good.
I don’t remember much. The last moment that streamed through my mind was walking back into the hallway. After that, everything just went black. I don’t know how or when I ended up here in this hospital bed, but I wanted out. I wanted to see her. I needed to feel her, but the words couldn’t escape my lips. I couldn’t move much less talk. I was just there.
My life changed once again in less than an instant. Flashes of Phoenix with me streamed through my memories like a reel from a projector. The first time I saw her as a young recruit, with her hazel eyes so bright and full of life just smiling back at me, ready for a change. I was ready to present that changed to her. I watched her progress as the years passed. I watched her gather men after men, each providing her what she needed at the time, but none giving her their heart or allowing her to give hers. I can see the first time we made love, not fucked, we did that plenty of times before, but made love on the beach in Venice. The night sky was beautiful as the ocean’s water blanketed us with each uproar of a wave. The evening was perfect, just like her company. I wanted to have so many more memories. I wanted to relive moments of us first night in our home together. She was so cute as I watched her place her personal items into the bathroom as smile as she knew we were to share things from now on. I knew that moment was the moment she realized we were something more – that we could be so much more. And now all that could have been taken away from me.
I was internally trying to fight for my life. I was struggling to give Phoenix more time with me. I couldn’t leave her just yet. It’s too soon. She has lost so much already, I can’t be apart of that equation.
“Monti, Phillips, thank you for coming,” Johnson said muffled.
“How’s he doing?” Phillips asked as he hovered over my still body.
Punishment (Light My Fire Series Book #2) Page 10
