To this day neither Mother nor I know what happened to Father. He was a scientist, working on the earliest research into AIDS, which in the 1980s was already growing out of control in Rwanda. The Hutu extremists were suspicious of intellectuals: they believed they “thought too much” and were therefore prone to liberal views. Even if Father had managed to escape Sebazungu that day at the border, we can only assume that, as a known half-Tutsi, he was one of the million victims of the war. I still cling to the hope that he managed to escape and might now be living in exile with a new family.
But of course the news I relished most was that of Beni. Whenever a letter arrived I'd skim-read it to see if there was any mention of her name. All too often there was not. And then one day, many years ago, a letter came telling me that Beni had married a Hutu – one with lots of cows! I didn't know how I felt. All I could think of was something Mother once said: “Catching them's the easy part: it's releasing them that's hard. You never know which way they're going to fly.”
The flower plantation, much like Rwanda, slowly began to blossom. With half the population gone, Mother found it difficult to recruit new staff – and those she did had to be trained from scratch. Thanks to her determination it is now a flourishing business again, in which Hutus and Tutsis work side by side.
As for me, I chose to dedicate my life to butterflies, working as a lepidopterist. Though I found my voice that day at the border, I never grew socially confident. I exist between work and home, where I sit most nights alone in my study, staring at the most perfect find of my life:
Charaxes acræoides
Rwanda
6th April 1994
African Butterflies is now as treasured as the butterfly – my memory of Beni, complete.
Acknowledgements
I wish to thank:
Louisa and Reuben Culpin for introducing me to Rwanda, everyone at the Imababazi Orphanage for their kindness and hospitality, and those in Gisenyi who welcomed me.
My husband Peter for giving me the time and freedom to write this book and for understanding when either I or my mind was far from home.
Simon Kerr and the Lightship judges: Alessandro Gallenzi, Simon Trewin and Tibor Fischer for seeing the potential in my work and for their guidance, straight-talking encouragement and support.
My tutors at Bath Spa: Richard Kerridge, Andrew Miller and Tricia Wastvedt for noticing the things I didn't.
Those far more qualified to write about Rwanda than me: Dallaire, Gourevitch, Keane, Carr and Prunier, all of whose work informed my own.
The dedicated, meticulous and hard-working team at Alma, but in particular Alessandro, who steered me with a gentle hand through the editing process.
My Mum and Dad for looking after our newborn son so that I might stare bleary-eyed at my computer.
And finally, Rwanda – a place forever in my heart.
The Flower Plantation Page 20
