by AJ Adaire
***
Kim called her friends outside and told them the story.
Peri seemed the most shaken by what she’d heard. “How horrible it must have been for her. I know we’ve all faced a similar circumstance.” She looked from face to face, seeing pain reflected back. “Somehow, she seems so frail and so ill prepared to deal with the loss of her husband. The isolation must have been devastating. Facing this all alone.”
Kim nodded. “Yes, we’ve all faced it. I agree. Though her task seems more daunting somehow. Shortly after we lost our wives, we all found each other and haven’t had to be alone. She was.” Kim choked back her own tears.
“Come on,” Paige said, placing her hand on Kim’s shoulder. “Let’s do what we can to put DJ to a proper rest.”
Peri, Kim, and Paige dug DJ’s grave on the hillside above the house, beneath a beautiful red maple tree. They found a cart and together lifted the tarp containing his body onto it and then lowered him into the grave. They covered DJ’s body and went to get his wife. Kim kept a supportive arm around her friend, as they each said a few words and recited the Lord’s Prayer over his grave.
***
Returning to the house after the funeral, they sat on the porch. Kim sat next to Allie and held her hand. Peri and Paige sat in silence, each absorbed in her own thoughts.
“I’m so sorry.” Allie seemed to awaken from a fog. “I’ve been so absorbed in my loss, I just realized none of you have slept. You have time for a nap before dinner, if you’d like.”
Paige was the first to respond. “What I’d like more than anything else is a shower.” She turned to Peri. “Do you think you could give me a haircut?”
“I think we could all use one. I can do the front of mine, if you can trim up the back for me.”
Kim pushed what used to be her bangs behind her ear. “Oh yes, me too, please.”
Happy for the distraction, Allie got a chair from the kitchen and set it on the grass in front of the house. “Your barber’s chair, Peri.” She arranged the chair and handed the scissors to Peri. “Hope these will do. I brought you a mirror too.” Climbing the steps to the porch, Allie took her seat there disappearing into the background as she watched the interaction between the three women.
Kim stripped off her T-shirt and waited for Peri to figure out what she would do with her hair. Seeming preoccupied, Paige sat on the stairs, waiting her turn. She ignored Kim, who was sitting in the chair in only her bra and jeans. She glanced up to study Peri as she came around to fool with Kim’s hair, her back to Paige. Allie watched as Paige’s eyes traveled the entirety of Peri’s body. Exhaling a visible sigh, Paige dropped her head and studied her fingernails.
Peri was all business. The sound of scissors was all that could be heard, as Peri started with one side of Kim’s hair and trimmed it to mid-ear length. She switched to the other side and cut it to match. Kim’s hair was thick and had a natural curl. Peri parted it on the side and combed the top over. She trimmed the bangs so they fell naturally across Kim’s forehead and blended in with the already trimmed side. She moved behind Kim, cutting the back so that the waves fell into a natural contour. “There, Kim. All done. Once you wash it, you’ll fluff up and it’ll be cute. Why don’t you go take your shower? Take it easy on the hot water, so we can each have one when we’re done here.” She brushed hair from Kim’s neck in brisk strokes.
“Paige, can you hold the mirror for me, please? I’ll do mine first. When I’m finished, you can trim the back for me, and afterward I’ll cut yours.” She stripped her shirt, tossed it aside, and sat on the chair.
Paige picked up the mirror and knelt, now at eye level with the seated Peri. Their eyes met. Paige raised the mirror between them. “Move it to where you need it. I’ll try to hold it as still as I can.”
Peri wrapped her hand around Paige’s and fiddled with the mirror. Her eyes softened, and a smile came to her lips, revealing her dimples. Peri had often cut her own hair. She cut it mostly by feel, creating a similar length all over the sides and back. The top she wore a bit longer. At home, she had a mirror that hung around her neck. She could see the reflection of the back of her head in the mirror above the bath vanity. Without double mirrors, she’d have to rely on Paige to trim the hair at her neckline.
Peri worked her way around her head. Then she feathered with the scissors, so the cut wasn’t blunt. Satisfied with the front, Peri handed the scissors to Paige. She gestured with her finger at a line about an inch above her collar. “Just cut it straight across there.”
Paige stood and walked around behind Peri. She placed a hand on Peri’s bare shoulder and stood back. “Straight across?”
Peri swallowed hard. “Yes, please.”
Paige ran her hand over the back of Peri’s head, brushing the hair along her hairline with her fingers.
“That tickles.”
“Sorry. I was trying to make sure I get it straight.” Paige made the cut, and with gentle fingers she brushed the hair from Peri’s neck. The final stubborn strands that remained, she blew away with a gentle breath.
Peri closed her eyes as the goose bumps raised on her arms.
Paige checked the cut. “Just a bit more here.” Paige brushed her fingers across Peri’s neck. One final snip and she again blew off the hair.
Peri cleared her throat. “Um, your turn.”
Paige bent over to pick up Peri’s shirt and extended it to her.
“Thanks. I don’t want to get it full of hair. She folded the shirt in half and tossed it on the steps. “Come on, you’re my next victim. Have a seat. Take off your shirt.”
Paige complied.
Peri stood in front of Paige. She stuck the scissors in her back pocket and took Paige’s cheeks in her hands. She brushed Paige’s hair back and studied her face. Paige closed her eyes.
“You’re a very handsome woman, Paige. You can wear your hair any way you want. What would you like me to do?”
Paige opened her eyes to meet Peri’s. “Surprise me.”
“Do you remember that actress who played M in the James Bond movies? I loved that short, sort of spiky do she wore. How about something like that?”
“I normally wear a long crew cut. I don’t want to fuss with it.”
“Okay. How about I do it my way? I promise if you don’t like it, I’ll cut it off right away.”
Peri smiled the whole time she worked on Paige’s hair. With free rein to touch Paige, Peri made the most of the opportunity. Standing in front of Paige, she ran her fingers through her hair. She trailed her fingertips along Paige’s jaw line. Peri took great care with the haircut. To make the cut less blunt, she used the scissors in a teasing motion. It was the best she could do without a razor. Instead of cutting it straight across, she left the neckline a little feathered. The result was a bit softer look than was usual for Paige.
From behind, Peri handed the mirror to Paige and ran her hands over the strong shoulder muscles, brushing the hair away. “What do you think?”
“I think it’ll look fine. I’ll see how it goes after I wash it. Thanks.”
Kim walked around the house from the outdoor shower. “I feel like a new woman. Who’s next?”
Paige stood and asked Peri, “You want the shower first?”
“No, go ahead.” Peri picked up her shirt and moved to the steps to wait.
Paige called Murdoch and headed to the back of the house to shower herself and her dog. “We’ll save you some hot water.”
“You’d better!”
***
They all agreed to an early evening meal. Working together to make and clean up dinner, they settled in the living room afterward, getting to know Allie better. A casual chat followed, filled with compliments about the positive results of everyone’s haircuts.
At a natural break in the conversation, Allie spoke up. “I want to thank all of you for what you did for me today. I feel so much better knowing DJ is at rest now. I felt horrible I could not do that for him myself. I prayed for he
lp and you are all the answer to my prayers.”
“We’ve each been there, Allie,” Peri said.
“Kim told me earlier that she had lost her beloved. Becky was a wonderful friend, and I’ll miss her deeply. She also told me that you have each lost a loved one. Please, know I’m as sorry for each of you as I am for my own loss. To lose the one you love for no good reason is so senseless and painful.”
Allie made tea. Soon eyes started to droop. “Paige and Peri, I’m going to put you in the guest room. Kim, you can share with me.”
“Do you want Murdoch and me to have a look around before we turn in?”
“No. That’s unnecessary. The alarms will give us sufficient warning of visitors. Go in and rest without worry.”
Chapter Twenty-five
ALLIE LED PERI AND Paige to the guest bedroom. “My room is at the end of the hall, Kim. I’ll be there in a few seconds. I need to turn up the volume on the alarm.”
Allie entered her bedroom to find Kim standing at the foot of the bed.
Kim smiled at her friend. “Do you have a side you prefer?”
“I usually sleep on the right. Do you want a nightshirt?”
“Please.”
They settled into bed. Allie turned on her side and put her hand on Kim’s arm. “Thank you for coming.”
Kim raised her arm over Allie’s head and pulled her friend near.
Allie slid over and put her head on Kim’s shoulder. “What am I going to do without him, Kim?”
“There’s always me.”
Allie wrapped her arm around Kim’s waist. “I know you’re saying that to make me feel loved. We tried that once, remember? You know I love you. I can’t…”
“I know. I got over you back in high school when you fell for DJ. You never looked back. I can still claim the honor of giving you your first kiss.”
They fell quiet. “Kim? I don’t know if I should say anything.”
“You can always say whatever is on your mind to me. Don’t you know that by now? So, come on, tell me what you’re thinking.”
“Your friends. I watched them today. Peri’s in love with Paige, and I think the feeling is reciprocal. They weren’t even aware of me. They had eyes only for each other.”
“I know. I made a play for Peri. We actually kissed when we were at Villy’s. It was pleasant. She’s a great kisser.” Kim chuckled. “Suffice it to say the earth didn’t move. It didn’t even tremble. We agreed that we wouldn’t settle. It wasn’t something either of us wanted for the rest of our lives. I want to feel lust again like I did with Becky. The lust part is easy. The tricky part is finding that plus the friendship and emotional connection that I had with her in someone new. You know what I mean?”
“I do. I had it with DJ.”
“Sometimes I shock myself. It’s not been very long since Becky died and I’m already eager to have another partner. I’m surprised I’d even consider finding someone else. We used to talk about it sometimes. You know...what if something happened to one of us? Would we find another partner, and if so how long would we wait? We always said we’d mourn for years, and even then, we’d never be as happy as we were with each other. And now, here I am alone. I miss Becky, but…”
Allie waited for Kim to finish the thought. The pause was too long. “But?”
“Sorry, I was just trying to figure out why I’m so eager to pair up again, when there is no real reason I have to have a partner right this minute. Still, I feel the need and even have a sense of urgency to pair up again.” Kim adjusted her position and turned toward Allie so she could better see her reaction in the dim light.
Kim fell silent as her mind swirled. Does it all come down to the fact that I don’t want to be alone? Is it as simple as that? “Does the fact that I just want someone, because I don’t want to be alone, make me shallow?”
Allie placed a gentle palm on Kim’s cheek for a brief moment. “No, Kim.” She reached for Kim’s hand. “It’s just the uncertainty, I think. You know the sense of strength in numbers. I’ve been terrified on my own. Be careful though, that you don’t pick any port in a storm. You had the best with Becky. She’ll be a hard act to follow. Make sure that the woman you pick next is someone you enjoy spending time with. Time out of bed is of equal importance to time spent in bed.”
***
Paige settled Murdoch next to the bed on a blanket Allie had given her. She stood across the double bed from Peri, trying to decide what to do. All her clothes were dirty. The shirt she’d put on after her shower was the cleanest she had, and she’d have to wear it tomorrow. She needed to wash her clothes.
“What’s wrong?” Peri asked peeling back the covers.
“I don’t have anything to wear. I’m out of clean clothes. This is my cleanest dirty shirt. Dirty is the operative word there. It flat out smells.”
“Thank God, me too! The only thing I had clean was this last pair of underwear. Peri stripped off her clothes, leaving just her panties and sports bra. I’m sleeping clean tonight.” She folded her T-shirt and jeans, placed them on the night table, and slid into bed.
Paige looked away and exhaled a tight breath. She flipped off the light, stripped to her underwear, and got into bed, careful to stay on her own side.
Peri broke the silence. “Paige, what do you think will happen with everything? Will society right itself again?”
“Sooner rather than later, I’d guess. I hope that the National Guard and other armed forces will organize and take control under martial law. They’ve most likely already started to establish order in some of the smaller cities and towns with a strong sense of community. It will spread outward from there. Maybe not right away, but given time, life will begin to stabilize. No doubt there’ll be pockets of resistance. They’ll be no match for our military, though.”
“Would you want to return to your home and go back to your old job, if that were possible?”
Paige grew quiet. She exhaled a long breath before she spoke. “My home…” It took several long sighs before Paige was able to finish her thought. “I have no home now. Nor do I have a job that I want to return to. I think I still need time. Time to simply be.”
“Yes, peaceful time. Different than it’s been since it all fell apart. I feel the need to be able to live in such a way that we’re not always looking over our shoulder, or peering over the hill for the next challenge.”
The ticking of a wind-up clock echoed in the quiet night.
Paige slid her arm out from under the sheet. “The electrical grid being down slows the recovery process. In this case, it’s a shortage of personnel rather than the physical structural elements of the grid. So it’s a simple matter of training people to operate existing equipment. It’ll be a while. I think it’ll start in pockets and over time, it’ll grow to cover the country. You know, I’ve been thinking about Villy. I’ve a lot of respect for that man. He was a forward thinker. He had everything he needed in his house.”
“Zeke’s place was nice, too.” Peri fluffed her pillow. “I miss Zeke. He’s a nice guy. I’m looking forward to seeing him in the fall.”
“Umm. Me too.” Paige chuckled. “He’ll be looking for a haircut by then, for sure.”
Peri joined in Paige’s laughter. “He’s more than likely unrecognizable already. I never met anybody who could grow hair as fast as he can.”
“Can I ask you a personal question, Peri?”
“Of course. Anything.”
“I wonder. If Trish had lived, what would she have thought about all of this?”
Peri closed her eyes. “Hm. Hard to say. She’d have documented everything with her camera. She was always taking pictures. It excited her to get the perfect shot that captured the essence of something. Trish always tried to tell a story with her photos. Her intelligence showed in her work. I remember this one time when we went to visit a Shaker village in New Hampshire. We took the tour of the schoolhouse. I took pictures that showed the whole front of the classroom. She took a close up of the teach
er’s desk with an open book on it. In her photo there was an interesting handmade hinge. The open book contained a list of classroom rules. Trish could look at a wide scene and pick out the one element that would tell so much more about the people and their life at the time.”
“We need both though, the big picture and the details.”
Peri shrugged. “I guess. I always loved her work. I thought any picture she took was much richer than any shot I ever took.”
Paige rolled to her side, allowing Peri to see her face in the moonlight. Paige tucked her hand under herself to prevent it, on its own volition, from tracing Peri’s profile. Of all the times she’d spent with Peri, the intimate moments, the sharing of feelings and memories, were her favorites. “What about you? Do you ever want to go home again?”
“No. I don’t think so. There is nothing left there that I want. What I had there is gone. Trish is gone, and so is the life I knew.”
The sound of frogs and crickets in the night marked the time as it passed. Paige wondered if Peri was finished with their discussion.
A short time later, the bedclothes rustled, as Peri slipped her hand behind her head. “It’s strange.”
“What?”
“Sorry, I was just thinking.” Peri used her free hand to scratch her forehead. “It seems that there’s a common thread every time people talk about their old lives and former partners. Everyone always mentions that it feels like it was years ago, rather than months or even weeks ago. I wonder if it’s a product of the way things ended. Not only did our partners die. It was made more intense, because they died in our arms…our world, as we knew it, ended at the same time. The new reality is so different. I think it distances us from the past.”
“Mmm. Yes. You’re right. It feels like there’s a before, and a now. Current life bears no resemblance to what once was. Do you ever think about what you want for your new life?”
