“The movies weren’t my idea.” Kate didn’t shy away from his look. “That was Mama giving in to Lorena.”
“I know that. Your mother doesn’t know Jay either.”
“What’s so bad about him?” Kate was curious now. Jay had told her Mike was his best friend, but he wasn’t sounding much like any kind of friend. “I could tell right off he was a charmer, and I didn’t figure there was any way he’d stick around here at all. But then he did. Graham seems to like him well enough.”
“Everybody likes Jay. Well, everybody except the ones who want to punch him in the face the way Carl did.”
“You can’t blame Jay for that. Carl was imagining things that weren’t happening,” Kate said. “Jay didn’t do a thing to provoke him. In fact, he stood there and let Carl sock him without putting up the first bit of fight. Said he was trying to keep the peace the way he knew you would be doing if you were there.”
“You think I’m sounding disloyal to a friend, don’t you?” Mike didn’t wait for her to answer as he pulled his hand off her shoulder and ran it through his hair. He was going to need a comb before he got behind the pulpit. “I guess I am, but my first loyalty, after the Lord, is to Evangeline and my new family. To you and Victoria and Lorena.”
“You didn’t marry us all, Mike. Just Evie.”
“But you’re my sisters now the same as you’re Evangeline’s. Jay has left a string of broken hearts everywhere he’s been. He can’t commit to anybody or anything. It has to do with the way he was raised. Farmed out to an aunt and uncle who thought he was nothing but an obligation. He’s never truly trusted anybody.”
“Not even you?”
“Not enough.” A worried frown wrinkled the skin on Mike’s broad forehead. “He shuts his ears when I tell him about God’s love. He doesn’t want to hear it. He says he doesn’t need the Lord.” Mike’s frown got deeper, more concerned. “You don’t want to tie yourself to a man like that. A man who’s afraid to love God or anybody else.”
“I’m not going to fall for Jay. I’ve made enough mistakes in love already.” Kate wished those last words back, but if Mike had any idea that they might refer to him, he didn’t show it. He had probably forgotten her juvenile confession of love long ago. She went on quickly to put those words behind her and out of both their minds. “Now, Lorena might be a different matter. I think she’s completely smitten. That’s the only reason I’m going to the movies. To make Lorena happy.” She smiled up at Mike, hoping he would let the whole matter drop.
“You won’t always be able to shield Lorena from unhappiness.” He gave his head a little shake. “But that’s a different sermon for a different day.”
“And you need to go get ready for your sermon for this day. Everybody will be anxious to hear if being married has made you a different preacher,” Kate said lightly.
“Being married makes you a different everything.” Mike smiled, but then his smile faded. “Just be careful who you give your heart to, Kate. I, and Evangeline too, we want you to be happy. The way you want Lorena to be happy.”
“Didn’t you tell us once that the word for ‘blessed’ in the Bible could be translated happy? Happy are the children of God.” Kate felt a little embarrassed. “I don’t know if that’s really in the Bible or not.”
“It’s in there dozens of times in a dozen different ways. The Lord wants to give us the desires of our heart. Evangeline and I will pray that you will find the man the Lord has in mind for you.” He had on his pastor’s face again. “Prayers are answered.”
“But not always as we expect.”
“The Lord knows best.”
Those were words she knew better than to argue with. The Lord did know best, and he had chosen Mike to deliver his message to the people. To her. It always amazed Kate how quickly Mike could change from being just Mike to being Pastor Mike. Even his voice changed, got deeper and fuller when he let the Lord’s truths flow through him out to his Rosey Corner sheep. He knew them all well by now, after five years of standing in their pulpit and putting his feet under their Sunday dinner tables. He’d prayed by their sick beds and preached the funerals of those who’d crossed the great divide.
Kate knew them all too. In a different way. She’d grown up in the church. Believed and was baptized by her grandfather years ago. She belonged here. But when she and Mike stepped away from the shade of the tree to join the people congregating in the front yard and she saw Carl coming up the walkway with his mother, she wished she could be anywhere but here. Carl was staring straight at her, defiant in his anger. She squared her shoulders and kept walking. Nobody had ever accused Kate Merritt of being a coward. She wasn’t about to let them do so now.
“Will wonders never cease?” Mike whispered under his breath as they moved toward the church steps. “I never expected to see him sitting in a Rosey Corner church pew.”
“Who?” Kate asked, but then knew without him answering.
Jay and Graham were coming up the walk behind Carl. She sent up a quick prayer that Carl wouldn’t spot Jay and start a fight right in the middle of the churchyard. Jay didn’t look worried as he shot an amused smile her way. Rosey Corner was obviously proving very entertaining for him.
“I hope the good Lord gives me the right message,” Mike said, more to himself than to Kate.
“You’d better hope Carl doesn’t forget he’s at church and try to punch Jay again,” Kate said. “He had the crazy idea Jay was the reason I told him I couldn’t marry him.”
“Was he?” Mike had on his pastor face again.
“No. Carl was the reason I couldn’t marry Carl.”
Kate wished she could go on home or, even better, keep walking past her house to Lindell Woods. At least there nobody would be staring at her like she was Delilah betraying Samson. Without waiting for Mike to say anything more, she rushed up the steps and into the church. Maybe she was a coward after all. She wanted no part of whatever might be going to happen in the churchyard. Instead she’d sit inside and hope Mike was as good at keeping the peace as Jay thought he was.
Kate was glad when her mother slipped into the pew beside her and squeezed her hand. Her mother always understood. It was a gift she had. Lorena scooted in between them—her favorite spot with Mama on one side and Kate on the other.
She had an excited gleam in her eyes when she whispered to Kate, “He’s here. Did you see him?”
“I saw him,” Kate said.
“Do you think he’ll come sit with us?”
“You know Graham never sits this close to the front. He likes the back row and Jay will sit with him.”
Lorena looked disappointed for a flash, but then her face was shining with excitement again. “I can’t wait until this afternoon. Can you?”
“Shh, we’re in church.” Kate hushed her to keep from answering. The thing was, she did feel a tremble of excitement when she thought about the movies that afternoon. Something she’d never felt with Carl. Something Mike had just been warning her against feeling. A warning she knew she should take seriously. But at the same time, she couldn’t quite stop thinking about Jay.
She peeked over her shoulder at the other people coming into the church to settle into the pews. Jay was watching her, waiting for her to look his way. Ready to laugh. Refusing to take life seriously in spite of his eye still showing evidence that sometimes life could knock him down. She quickly turned her head around, but not before she saw Carl staring at her from across the church aisle.
She felt sorry for him. In spite of the way he had forced a kiss on her. In spite of the way he had turned her into the villain of the piece. She felt sorry for him the same as everybody else in Rosey Corner. She didn’t want to, but she did. And now he was going off to who knew where with the war clouds thickening. Why in the world had he decided to join the Navy? German submarines were sinking ships without paying any attention to what flag might be flying on their mast. Navy men were on ships.
Somebody had come in the store a couple of day
s back and said Carl claimed to want to see the world. Kate knew the words were intended for her. She’d be stuck in Rosey Corner, measuring out beans or slicing cheese and bologna while he’d be seeing the sights. The same places she’d read about and wondered aloud about to him many times. Kate stared down at her hands as Mr. Jackson stepped up behind the podium to announce the number of the first hymn. Sometimes life could throw a left hook that didn’t leave marks on the outside, but bruised plenty on the inside.
The songs ended. The offering plates were passed. Mike stepped up to the pulpit and opened his Bible. For a moment, he looked uneasy, but then he made a joke about being glad to welcome Mrs. Champion to Rosey Corner Baptist Church for the first time. Evie blushed prettily right on cue and a laugh rippled through the church. Mike laughed too and kept smiling as he added how glad he was to see Jay there.
Then without further ado, he switched over to his pastor voice and began preaching about Saul on the road to Damascus. He told the story with power and gentleness both. “That’s how it is with each of us. Every man, woman, child. We begin our journey of life one way and somewhere along that road we are all confronted with the Savior. While we might not be struck physically blind as Saul was, we are all blind in spiritual ways until we open our eyes to Jesus and let him take control of our hearts.”
Kate listened, glad that it was always Pastor Mike she saw behind the pulpit. A man sharing the Word of God. She wondered how Evie saw Mike this morning now that she was his wife. And Jay. Would he think Mike was preaching the message for him? Wasn’t that how it was supposed to feel when a person was hearing a sermon? Weren’t the preacher’s words supposed to be convicting each heart in whatever way they needed? But according to Mike, Jay had never wanted to hear the gospel. Yet he was sitting in the church now, hearing the gospel preached by his best friend.
Sitting on a church pew didn’t necessarily mean he was hearing the Word. Wasn’t she sitting there wondering about everything except how she should change to be a better Christian? She should have pretended she was sick and headed out for those trees.
She was glad when Mike announced the invitation hymn. She wasn’t as glad when Mrs. Noland stepped out into the aisle on the first verse and grabbed Carl’s arm to pull him along down to the front with her. After a whispered conversation with Carl’s mother, Mike held up his hand to stop the singing.
“Our brother, Carl Noland, will be leaving for the Navy on Tuesday. We all know that while our country is maintaining a neutral stance, things are very dire overseas. As Carl’s church family, we can covenant to pray for him and all the soldiers being drafted into service.” Mike looked very serious. “While Mrs. Taylor continues to play, I know you will want to come up and let Carl know you will be supporting him with your prayers.”
Kate stood up with everyone else and joined the line going down to speak to Carl. What else could she do? She reminded herself once more that she wasn’t a coward. But her heart was beating too hard even before she stepped up in front of Mrs. Noland. With a scowl on her face, the woman yanked her hand back when Kate reached toward her. Kate kept her hand suspended in the air, not sure what to do next. Her mother put an arm around her and scooted her on over in front of Carl.
A sudden silence fell over the church. Everybody knew Kate had thrown Carl over.
Mama kept her arm firmly around Kate’s waist as she reached out and grasped Carl’s hand with her free hand. She filled the void. “We’re proud of you, Carl, for stepping up to serve your country. We’ll keep you in our prayers.”
Kate looked straight at Carl. She hated being the reason for the hurt anger in his eyes. She wanted to forget how he’d shoved her against the tree and forced a kiss on her. She wanted to go back to when they were wading in the creek catching frogs. To any time before last Sunday. She managed to smile and whisper, “We will.”
She was turning away when he grabbed her arm. For a minute she thought he might be going to apologize for the way he’d acted, but instead he said, “I’ll send you a card from Hawaii.”
“Is that where you’re going?” Kate kept her voice even.
“Maybe. After training.”
“I’ve read it’s beautiful there.”
“One thing sure, it’s far from Rosey Corner and some place you’ll never go.” The corners of his lips turned up in what was closer to a grimace than a smile. “You could have, but you passed up your chance. You passed up your chance for a lot of good things.”
Kate’s mother began to ease her away from Carl. Kate hesitated. A week ago she could have hugged Carl, kissed his cheek, and wished him all the best, but not now. So she merely touched his hand on her arm lightly and said, “Goodbye, Carl.”
Her words carried a sad echo of the angry goodbye she’d told him a week ago. Some things couldn’t be changed.
12
Jay didn’t go forward to shake Carl’s hand. He was tempted to, but there were times when even somebody like him had to exercise good sense. The farm boy had packed quite a punch, and Jay didn’t need another black eye. He did want to be able to watch the movie that afternoon, or at least watch the girl with him at the movie.
He’d been watching her all morning. Blatantly, before Mike went to preaching. Covertly during the sermon. He listened with half an ear to what Mike was saying. He figured he was pushing the Scripture words right at him, but no way was Jay expecting any Damascus Road turnarounds in his life. Maybe if the Lord did speak out loud to him, blind him with light, he’d be like Saul and ready to pay attention. But Jay had doubts the Lord was all that worried about converting him. Saul was a different matter. The man got a new name and went on to write half the New Testament.
Jay had spent plenty of hours in church with his aunt and uncle. He’d heard hundreds of sermons and seen all those pictures of the good Lord knocking on doors and wanting to come in. Jay figured his heart door was too thick for him to hear any knocking. That was okay. A person needed a tough heart. He’d found that out soon enough after his mother died.
But his heart was feeling some softer every time he looked at Kate. She hadn’t looked back toward him but once, and that time she’d flipped her head back around and brushed her hand through her hair as though to knock his eyes off her. That wasn’t about to happen. In fact, his eyes were so ready to settle on her that he was beginning to think maybe he should pack up his things and hit the road. She had him feeling like he might be tiptoeing around quicksand.
When Mike called for everybody to go up and pray for the hayseed, Jay stepped to the back of the church. Graham shrugged his shoulders a little and joined the queue going forward. Kate stepped out into the line too, her step a little hesitant, but her mother and the kid sister pushed her along with them. The tension was palpable in the church when she stepped up to the hayseed’s mother. No forgiveness on that woman’s face. Then Carl grabbed Kate’s arm to keep her from turning away from him.
For a second, Jay wondered if they were going to hear an impassioned proposal right there at the church altar to try to force Kate’s acceptance. An uneasy silence fell over the church. About halfway down the aisle, Graham’s shoulders stiffened and his head came up like his old dog catching a scent of trouble in the air. Across the church, Kate’s father turned away from the man beside him to stare down toward the front of the church too. Jay leaned back against the wall behind the back pew and tried to look relaxed. There wouldn’t be any need for him to rush down to Kate’s aid with both Graham and Mr. Merritt ready to do battle for her.
The farm boy’s voice was too loud, his words harsh. He wasn’t about to let Kate off easy, letting her know, letting the whole church know, she’d lost her chances with him. Jay couldn’t hear her words back to Carl. They were too soft, but the whispered echo of regret wasn’t hard to hear. That was the trouble with being well loved the way Kate was. The way Mike was. People like them struggled when somebody was mean-spirited. The same kind of things rolled right off Jay. He didn’t have to be liked.
He did tighten his hand into a fist and think about how he owed the hayseed a punch in the nose. But not in Mike’s church. Not when the man was up there collecting prayers before going off to the Navy. Jay stretched his fingers out and shook them a little. The best thing for him to do was step outside. Let whatever happened happen. It was none of his business.
But he couldn’t keep from smiling a little as he heard Kate telling the man goodbye. There was a final sound to it. A sound Jay liked. A sound that seemed to release the church people to start talking again. At the door, Mike began to shake the hands of the people who’d already talked to the hayseed and his mother and were headed out.
Jay waited his turn. Mike grasped his hand and gave him his preacher talk. “So glad to see you here this morning, Jay.”
“Couldn’t pass up the chance to hear my buddy preach.”
“Did I do it right?”
“You’re asking me?” Jay laughed and pulled his hand free. “You better ask the man upstairs that question.”
“But it’s the men down here who have to hear.” Mike’s eyes probed Jay’s face. “That’s why the Bible stories are there for us. So his Word won’t come back void.”
“I’m sure your words reached those they were supposed to reach,” Jay said easily. He’d survived a lot of one-on-one sermons from Mike. He didn’t mind. It was proof his friend cared about him. That didn’t mean Jay had to rush down a church aisle and pretend something that hadn’t happened.
Mike pressed his lips together for a second before he said, “Someday you may come face-to-face with the Lord the way Paul did and be unable to shut him away.”
“Who knows, Reverend? You could be right.”
“No could be about it. I am right about that. Be assured the Lord will never give up on you and neither will I.” Mike gave Jay a hard look, but then his smile was popping out again for the person next in line. Jay had had his handshake and word with the preacher.
Small Town Girl Page 11
