“She didn’t have to. I knew you didn’t hit me on purpose. You love me.” She smiled up at him without even a trace of shyness to be talking about love. “Not like you love Kate. But like a little sister. Do you have a real little sister?”
“I used to, but then I lost her.” He blocked out Birdie saying he loved Kate. Better to not think about that right now.
“How can you lose a little sister?” She looked puzzled. “Do you mean she died?”
“No, I just had to move away from her.”
“Oh, you mean like I had to stay here while my real mama and daddy went somewhere else to find food for them and my brother. I have a brother, you know. Kenton. Kenton Birdsong. When I get old enough, I’m going to go find him.” She stared up at Jay. “Don’t you want to find your little sister?”
“Maybe someday,” Jay said casually. Wasn’t any reason to tell this kid that he never thought about his sister at all. “But I found you. Birdie Birdsong. That’s good enough right now.”
She giggled. “Kate still can’t believe I let you call me Birdie.”
“Or that your daddy lets you call me Tanner.” He pulled his hand out of his pocket and touched the top of her knit cap.
She shivered. “It’s cold out here. Come on.” She grabbed his hand and started up the road. “You can warm up at the store.”
“Can’t.” Jay stopped her. “I’ve got to get back to Louisville. I’m in the Army now and I’ll have to leave for the training camp soon.”
“Today?” She stopped to look up at him.
“Not today, but I still have to start back. It’s a long way.”
“You and Kate had a fight, didn’t you?” She sighed and stared at the ground. “Because of me. Tori says so.”
“Not because of you.” Jay squatted down in front of her. “It didn’t have anything to do with you. Kate and me, well, it just wasn’t working out.”
“But you love her.” Birdie got a fierce look on her face. “I know you do.”
Jay smiled a little. “You’re right. I do. But sometimes love isn’t enough.”
“She loves you too,” Birdie said.
“Maybe,” Jay said. “But maybe not enough.”
“How much is enough?”
“I don’t know. I guess more than she did.”
“She cried last night.” Birdie stared at him without blinking. “She’d get mad if she knew I told you that. Kate never cries. But last night she did. She thought me and Tori were asleep, but I wasn’t.”
Jay tightened his lips and swallowed hard. “I can’t change what happened, Birdie. I would if I could. I’d go back and live the whole night over and for certain not hit you with the car.”
“But then you might have hit Trouble. I mean, Scout.” She sneaked a guilty look at him. “We changed Trouble’s name. Aunt Hattie said we had to. That names were important and she thought maybe Trouble was trying to live up to his name. So we’re calling him Scout now. You don’t care, do you?”
He smiled, relieved to be talking about something besides Kate and tears. “Scout. I like it. Does he like it?”
Birdie opened her eyes wide and bobbed her head several times. “He does. He even comes right away when we call him now.”
“Well, see?” Jay smiled and stood up. “Aunt Hattie was right.”
“Kate says Aunt Hattie’s always right.” She shifted a little uneasily on her feet before she went on. “You want to go talk to Aunt Hattie? About Kate? She’s probably at home.”
“Maybe Kate can go talk to her. But I told you. I’ve got to head on back. The Army doesn’t look kindly on you missing your train.”
“I don’t want you to leave.” She gripped his hand a little tighter. “Can’t you at least come see Scout? I’ll fix you a bologna sandwich. There might be pie.”
He couldn’t keep from laughing. “There’s no pie. I can tell by the look on your face.”
She grinned sheepishly. “But Mama might make one if she knew you were going to be there for supper. We could ask Graham and Aunt Hattie. Fern too. Let you tell everybody goodbye before you go to the Army.”
He didn’t know when he’d wanted to do anything more. Let them put their family arms around him. Let Mr. Merritt give him advice about going off to fight a war. Hear Graham tell another Rosey Corner story. See Kate again. Especially to see Kate again. But she didn’t want to see him. She had closed the door on the music in their hearts.
“You want to come,” Birdie said when he hesitated.
“You’ve got my number, Birdie Birdsong, but I can’t stay. Gotta get back to Louisville. Things to do there before I leave.” Things like staring at the wall. Pretending to read. Playing solitaire. He pushed a smile across his face.
Her bottom lip was quivering. He didn’t know whether it was from the cold or if she was about to cry. He pinched her chin a little. “Don’t you go to shedding tears on me. Else you might see me joining in and that wouldn’t be a bit pretty. A grown man crying like a baby. I just came back to make sure you were all right and to leave you my car.”
“Your car? Why would you do that? I can’t drive.” Birdie’s forehead puckered as she tried to puzzle that out.
“You know some people who can, and I didn’t want to leave it in Louisville. I was sitting there wondering what to do with it, who might keep it for me until I get back from beating the Japs and the Germans, and I thought of you. You’ll do that for me, won’t you? Talk your daddy into keeping it in your yard until I come back for it? He can drive it if he wants to. Kate too. She can take you to the movies.”
Birdie’s frown disappeared. She looked around. “Where is it?”
“Somewhere in Rosey Corner. You don’t think you get something for nothing. You’ll have to look for it. You and Kate.”
“That’s silly. You can’t hide a car. It’s too big.”
“Yeah? You see it anywhere?” He laughed as she looked around again. “So I think I just did, but you’ll find it. Now, I’d better be hitting the road and catching me a ride. Not too easy to hitch rides after dark.”
He lightly punched her shoulder and started away. But she grabbed his hand and then hugged him again. “You will come back, won’t you, Tanner?”
“I’ll have to come back for my car. See, that’s another reason I’m letting you keep it for me. So that you know I’ll come back.”
“But people are saying the war might last a long time.”
“Could be. But you won’t forget me no matter how long it lasts, will you, kid?” He lightly cuffed her chin. “You keep in mind it’s my car. You can polish it up for me now and again. Keep it shiny.” He pulled away from her.
“I will, Tanner. I promise.”
“I’m really glad you’re all right, but you pay attention to roads now. Take care of my little sister.”
She blinked back tears and gave him a shaky smile as she let go of his hand. “I’ll write you.”
“That’d be great, kid.” He headed back toward the church. He could cut across the yards and find his way back to the road without going by the store. He couldn’t go by the store. He wouldn’t be able to trust himself to keep walking. Even if he did remind himself that Kate wanted him to.
As if Birdie was reading his mind, she called after him. “You want me to tell Kate anything?”
He looked back at her with a grin. “Sure thing, Birdie. Tell her if she ever wants to elope, look me up.” Then he took off in a jog. The Army was waiting.
Once back on the main road, it wasn’t five minutes before a farmer he recognized from the feed store stopped to give him a lift to Edgeville. He’d find somebody heading back to Louisville from there.
31
Kate was pumping gas for Mrs. Perkins when Lorena raced up and grabbed her arm. “Come quick.”
“Watch out, Lorena. You’ll make me spill the gasoline.”
“But—”
Kate stopped her with a look. “You know I have to take care of the customer first.”
&nbs
p; Mrs. Perkins rolled down her window and stuck her head out. “If you get any of that on my car, I’ll expect you to clean it off. Every drop of it. Mr. Perkins keeps this car looking like new, and I’ll never hear the last of it if I bring it home with gasoline streaks running down the side.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Kate used her extra-polite, agree-with-the-customer voice before she turned back toward Lorena and made a face as she worked the pump.
Lorena didn’t even grin as she bounced on her toes and looked ready to explode with whatever news she had. Obviously exciting news. Maybe she’d made a hundred on her math test.
Kate finished pumping the gas. Mrs. Perkins handed some bills out the window, and Kate pulled the woman’s change out of her pocket.
Lorena grabbed it out of Kate’s hand and pushed it toward Mrs. Perkins. “Here you go. Thanks and come again.”
“What about my windshield? Aren’t you going to clean it?”
“Not today.” Lorena blocked Kate from the car. “We’ll wash it twice next time. There’s a war on, you know. Got to do what needs doing most first.”
“Well, I never.” With an angry huff, Mrs. Perkins cranked up her window and took off like somebody was giving her car a shove.
“Good thing we’re the only gas pump for miles or we’d never see her here again.” Kate frowned at Lorena. “What is the matter with you?”
“He’s here. I just saw him.” She was jumping up and down in her excitement.
“Saw who?” Kate asked. But she knew. Her heart heard his name without Lorena saying it, and she looked past her toward the road. But all she saw was Mrs. Perkins heading out of Rosey Corner.
“Tanner. He came to make sure I was all right.”
“Then where is he?” The empty road mocked her.
“He said he had to go back to Louisville. That he was in the Army now.” Lorena grabbed Kate’s arm again and pulled her toward the road. “But if we hurry, maybe we can catch him.”
Kate went a couple of steps before she stopped. “We can’t catch him if he’s already left. Besides, he knew where he could find me if he wanted to see me.”
“Oh, he wanted to, but he thought you wouldn’t want to see him.”
“He said that?”
“Not exactly. But he loves you. He told me he did, and I know you love him. So come on. We’re wasting time.” Lorena jerked on her arm.
Kate pulled free and placed her hands squarely on Lorena’s shoulders. She bent down to stare straight into her face. “You’re not making sense, Lorena. If he’s gone, he’s gone. We can’t chase after a car.” How could he have passed without her seeing him? Maybe the better question, the one she didn’t have an answer for, was what would she have done if she had seen him?
“But he’s not in his car. He’s walking. He gave the car to me to keep for him until after the war.”
“He did what?”
“He gave me his car. Well, us anyway. It’s somewhere in Rosey Corner, but he didn’t say where. Maybe at the house, but I saw which way he went back toward the road. If we run, we might catch him.” Lorena’s eyes were begging. “You want to catch him, don’t you?”
He was drunk. Maybe he had a reason. I love you, Kate Merritt. Without trust, the music stops. Her head was spinning with all the things that had been driving her to distraction all week.
“Please,” Lorena said. “He wants to elope with you.”
“What?” Kate wasn’t sure she’d heard Lorena right.
“He told me to tell you that if you ever wanted to elope, to look him up.”
Kate couldn’t keep from laughing then. “He knows I’m never going to elope.”
“But you do want to see him. To tell him goodbye before he goes to the Army.”
She did. Heaven help her, she did. Drunk or sober. With a reason or not. “Okay. Which way?” She grabbed Lorena’s hand and took off down the road with her.
It felt good to be running. Letting everything blow away from her. She’d been hoping for a sign, something that would tell her what to do. The hope had been circling in her mind like a prayer. She’d felt guilty praying about Jay when she ought to be concentrating every bit of her prayer energy on the dark days of the war hurtling toward them. Hundreds, even thousands of soldiers had died. Carl might be one of them. His family hadn’t heard the first thing from him since Pearl Harbor. Alice Wilcher said Mrs. Noland was frantic. That was where she should be focusing her prayers. Not on her need for love.
Then Aunt Hattie’s voice was whispering in her ear as Kate ran. “It’s forever an amazement to me how folks is always tryin’ to limit the good Lord’s mighty power. Thinkin’ they can only ask for one piddlin’ thing like as how they has to pick and choose. You keep in mind, Katherine Reece, the good Lord, he owns it all. Ain’t never no prayer too big nor too little for him to set his ear to hearing. That don’t mean you’ll get the answer you want. The good Lord, he gives and he takes away. But he don’t never do no forsaking.”
How many times had she heard that from Aunt Hattie? Or something similar. If anybody knew about proper praying, it was Aunt Hattie. Kate’s father said Aunt Hattie could pray up a rainstorm in the middle of the desert. If only Kate had time to stop at Grandfather Merritt’s house and talk to her as they ran past it. To ask her to pray the music back for Kate and Jay.
That’s your prayer. And this time Kate wasn’t sure if it was Aunt Hattie’s voice or Mama’s voice or maybe her own voice.
They ran past Aunt Gertie’s house and then Alice Wilcher’s. The houses gave way to fields with cows clustered around the barns waiting for their feed. They rounded a curve to where the road stretched out straight in front of them for a long way. A gray, empty stretch of road. No man walked along ahead of them. A couple of cars passed by. One sounded its horn. Probably someone they knew, but Kate didn’t even look to see. A truck lumbered past. She slowed to a walk. She was breathing hard. The elation of the run, of thinking she might see Jay, drained away.
Lorena kept going for a few more minutes. Then she stopped to wait for Kate. She leaned over with her hands on her knees to catch her breath. In between pants, she managed to beg, “Can’t we go just a little farther? At least over the next hill.”
“No use.” Fern stepped away from a tree beside the road. They’d both been so intent on looking ahead for Jay they hadn’t noticed her there. “If you’re chasing the Jay bird man, he’s gone.”
“Are you sure, Fern?” Lorena had finally caught her breath, but now her bottom lip was quivering.
“Sure as night coming.” The bulky man’s coat Fern wore over her overalls was buttoned all the way up to her chin. A navy knit cap was pulled down low over her forehead. “That Garvice Jefferson stopped. He got in his truck.”
“How long ago?” Kate asked.
“Long enough to be gone.” Fern’s voice was blunt, her words true.
“Fern’s right. We can’t catch up with Mr. Jefferson’s truck, and Mama might worry if we don’t head back.” Kate put her arm around Lorena’s shoulders and turned her back toward the store. She couldn’t bear the sight of the empty road. Fern fell in beside them.
Fern was right. He was gone. Maybe this was her sign. That the music wasn’t meant to start up again. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Aunt Hattie’s words were echoing in her head again. But had the Lord taken away Jay or had she pushed him away? Now she might never see him again.
As though Lorena were reading her mind, she said, “He’ll come back for his car. He’ll come back to see us.”
“Sure he will.” Kate swallowed down the tears that wanted to come and tightened her arm around Lorena. “When he can. After the war.” Months, even years from now. Maybe never. But she wouldn’t tell that to Lorena.
“I told him I’d write.” Lorena’s face brightened at the thought.
“I know he’ll like that.”
Then her face fell. “He didn’t tell me where he was going, so I won’t know where to send any letters.”
“He wants a letter, he’ll write you,” Fern said.
“Sure, he will.” Kate pushed belief into her voice that she didn’t feel. Jay wouldn’t write.
“He said you could take me to the movies in the car. That you could drive it since I’m not big enough yet.” Lorena seemed to be searching for something, anything to try to feel better.
“Well, that will be good. Won’t it, Fern?” Kate didn’t know why she felt the need to include Fern in the conversation. Fern didn’t care. She could stay right beside a person all day long and never utter more than a dozen words and none of them over one syllable.
“Got no use for cars,” Fern said flatly.
“Movies are a good use, Fern. You could go with us sometime.” Lorena looked over at the woman. “You can get popcorn to eat while you watch the movies. Tanner always bought us popcorn.” Her mouth turned down again.
“Let’s go find the car,” Kate said. “If it’s really here.”
Lorena looked up at her with a puzzled frown. “Why would he say it was if it wasn’t?”
Fern gave Kate a hard look overtop of Lorena’s head. “You think he lied.”
Kate couldn’t tell if it was a question or not, but before she could think of what to say, Lorena jerked away from her and glared at both of them. “He wouldn’t lie to me.”
Fern answered before Kate could. “Everybody lies, Lorena Birdsong.”
Hearing Fern say her whole name seemed to steal the words out of Lorena’s mouth.
“Even you, Fern?” Kate asked. “I can’t imagine you lying.”
“Don’t now. Learned better.” Fern stared at Lorena a moment and then narrowed her eyes on Kate. “You can learn better too.”
“We haven’t been lying to anyone,” Kate said.
“Maybe not the girl.”
Lorena spoke up to defend Kate. “Kate doesn’t lie.”
“Everybody lies,” Fern repeated. “The lies to yourself are the worst kind.” Then she turned on her heel and headed toward the fence beside the road to climb over a stile.
They watched her cross the field away from Rosey Corner to who knew where.
Small Town Girl Page 30
