“You don’t want to think of yourself as gay, is that it?” Jen’s tone was so gentle, and so thick with understanding, that his throat clogged.
“I’m not gay,” he answered honestly. “I love women way too much to be considered gay.”
“Yeah, I noticed.” She paused. “But you’re into men too.”
“Yes.”
“So then you’re bi.”
Amusement trickled through him. “I love how everything always has to be defined. Why can’t people just fuck whoever they want without feeling the need to label it or explain it away?”
Jen pointed her finger at him. “Ha! Exactly!”
Shit. He’d totally walked into that one.
“Now change the word people to you, and whoever they want to Aidan.” When he didn’t respond right away, her blue eyes turned shrewd. “Wait a minute—are you freaking out about having sex with him because this is about more than just sex? Do you have feelings for Aidan?”
That uncharacteristic rush of helplessness returned with full force. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I like hanging out with him, I know that much. When I stayed at his place last month, we got along really well. We have a shit-ton in common, he’s easy to talk to. So yeah, we’re buddies. I can’t fuck one of my buddies. That’d be like me hooking up with Matt or Ryan or Texas.”
“Except you don’t want to hook up with Matt or Ryan or Texas. You want Aidan.” Jen got a dreamy look in her eyes. “And good choice, by the way. Aidan is gorgeous. And those dimples…Lord.”
She pretended to fan herself, and Dylan had to laugh. “Dude’s not hard on the eyes,” he agreed.
She smiled. “I’ll give you the same advice Annabelle gave me when I was hesitating about going after Cash—life’s too short. Go after what you want.”
Uncertainty seized his chest. “I don’t know.”
“Yes you do. You know exactly what you want. And you’re putting way too much pressure on yourself. You’re acting like sex will lead to a relationship and a commitment ceremony and marching in the Pride parade—maybe it will, maybe it won’t. But maybe you should talk to Aidan and find out what he’s looking for before you make assumptions.”
She raised a good point. “I guess I should, huh?”
Really? You’ve only now figured out that avoiding him like the plague is a bad idea?
He ignored the internal taunt. Yeah, maybe actually taking Aidan’s calls, instead of acting like the conversation they’d had on poker night hadn’t happened, would’ve been the more mature course of action.
“You’re right. I need to talk to him.” He cleared his suddenly dry throat. “Thanks, Jen.”
She rewarded him with that beautiful smile that never failed to take his breath away. “No problem.” The smile widened, curving into smirk territory. “And by the way? If you end up doing the deed with Aidan? I expect details. Like, a lot of details. Oooh, I can lend you my camera! And I’d expect a lot of pictures. Maybe one of you and Aidan making out, and one where he’s on his knees…”
She was too busy verbalizing her fantasies—which she’d clearly put a lot of thought into—to notice that he was flipping her the bird.
16
Working on your birthday absolutely sucked. Miranda hadn’t minded teaching at the studio today, which hardly counted as work because it was something she loved to do, but spending her birthday night at the club? Sucked.
At least Alex was here. She could always count on him to make her shift entertaining, and he didn’t disappoint. For the past ten minutes, he’d been mixing drinks to the music à la Tom Cruise in Cocktail, cracking Miranda up and eliciting a wave of oohs and aahs from the crowd of females gathered at the bar.
“Miranda! You can go on break now!”
She slid two Corona bottles in front of a customer, then turned to her manager. She had to shout over the hip-hop remix pounding out of the speakers. “I just took one an hour ago!”
It was hard to tell in the strobe lights, but was that a secretive smile on Wendy’s face?
“Take another one! Chill out in the break room for a while.”
Uh-oh. Miranda got a very bad feeling as she untied her apron and tucked it beneath the cash register. She supposed she could’ve insisted she wanted to keep working, but who the heck turned down a break? Still, she had the sneaking suspicion that she wasn’t going to like what she found in the break room.
Oh God, had Wendy somehow managed to organize a party? Maybe called in the other bartenders and bouncers who weren’t on duty tonight? Would there be a cake?
Her stomach churned with anxiety. Aside from Alex, she wasn’t buddy-buddy with her colleagues at OMG. And she hated parties. With a passion. The only time she enjoyed being the center of attention was when she was on stage, but even then it didn’t exactly count as “attention”. When she danced, she blocked out everything and everyone, focusing only on the music, the rhythm, the sense of peace that washed over her and carried her away to another realm where life just made sense.
Offstage, having people fawn over her made her self-conscious. She’d dealt with it earlier tonight at the pizza place, when Sophie and Jason announced to everyone in the restaurant that it was their mom’s birthday. But for her kids, she’d suffer through the embarrassment of wearing a paper crown and having a bunch of strangers sing to her.
At the thought of the twins, her heart absolutely melted. She couldn’t believe what a thoughtful present they’d given her today. When she’d flipped through all the incredible professional photos in the calendar they’d created for her, she’d literally burst into tears. She definitely had the best kids on the planet. Like, superior to all other kids, and she didn’t care if thinking that was politically incorrect.
“Excuse me,” she said as she made her way to the back of the club. Several people refused to move, forcing her to elbow a path through the Saturday-night mob.
When she reached the door of the break room, she hesitated, fearful of what she’d find on the other side of it.
Saying a quick prayer, she turned the knob and stepped into the room.
Her jaw dropped. “Seth?”
Okay, well, she hadn’t been expecting this. The room was empty, save for the sexy SEAL sitting on the couch, his long legs stretched out, his gray eyes burning hot when she entered the room. As usual, he wore all black, his dark T-shirt a stark contrast to the pink cupcake in his hands.
Her lips twitched. “Is that for me?”
“Sure is.” He stood up, pulling out a lighter as he walked toward her. He lit the pink-and-white-striped candle poking out of the pink icing. “Happy birthday, Miranda. Make a wish.”
Equal doses of joy and apprehension soared through her.
No, she couldn’t get all soft and gooey about this man again. She’d already tried that. She’d kept an open mind about potentially letting their arrangement become something more, but by freaking out at the restaurant last week, Seth had shown her what a bad idea that was.
He’d been mistaken for her children’s father—and he’d been horrified. Horrified. As if the mere idea was on the same level as being butchered by a serial killer who wanted to make a skin suit out of your carcass.
She leaned close to the iridescent flame, determined to wish for a successful summer recital, or for the school to start making a profit, or maybe for world peace. But she couldn’t control the unrealistic wish that popped into her head at the last second.
I wish this could be something more.
Aw crap. Total waste of a birthday wish.
She blew out the candle, then pulled it out of the cupcake and licked the icing off the bottom. Seth focused on her mouth, the heat in his gaze unmistakable.
“Thanks for the cupcake,” she said as they headed to the couch and sat down. She devoured the yummy treat, polishing it off in no more than three bites. “God, this is delicious. Which bakery did you get it from?”
He looked incredibly insulted. “Bakery? I baked this motherfucker m
yself, Miranda.”
An amazed laugh flew out. “No way.”
“Yes way.”
Okay. Wow. She knew Seth could cook, but now she suddenly had an image of him in a frilly apron mixing cake batter in a bowl, razor-sharp stubble coating his sexy jaw and a lit cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. The fact that her pussy actually clenched confirmed that, no matter what this guy did, he would always be the ultimate specimen of masculine hotness. To her, anyway.
“Then I’m officially demanding you bake me an entire batch of these,” she announced.
“Already did. They’re in my fridge. I’ll drop them off tomorrow at your place, if you want.” He slid closer and swept his thumb over her cheek, his gaze smoldering. “Want the rest of your present?”
“Are you about to say that it’s in your pants?”
He gave a rogue grin. “Yup.”
“Wait—my manager let you back here?” When he nodded, Miranda shook her head. “Wow, you must have really cranked up the charm. Wendy lectures us at least once every shift about how this room is off-limits to non-employees. Who did you say you were?”
He shrugged. “Your boyfriend.”
“And she accepted it, just like that?”
“She did look a bit upset that you’d never mentioned me to her before. She was under the impression that you two were friends. But I assured her that the relationship is still very new and you’re kinda embarrassed to talk about it, you know, since I’m so much better-looking than you and you’re afraid people won’t believe we’re a couple.”
Miranda gasped. “You ass.”
His husky laughter sent a shiver up her spine. “I’m kidding. I didn’t say any of that, except for the boyfriend part. Anyway, she said you’ve got the room all to yourself for the next thirty minutes. I suggest we quit wasting time, don’t you agree?”
Even if she’d wanted to disagree, her body wouldn’t have let her. Her panties were already wet with arousal and her pulse had been off-kilter from the moment she’d laid eyes on Seth.
“What are your thoughts about birthday oral?” he asked in a conversational tone.
She pretended to think it over. “Better than any old regular-day oral, but not as good as holiday oral, I think.”
“Interesting.” His big body left the couch and he crouched on the floor in front of her, those calloused hands resting on her bare knees. Goose bumps promptly rose on her flesh. “What’s the next holiday we’ve got coming up?”
She scanned her brain. “Fourth of July?”
He shoved her black miniskirt all the way up to her waist and parted her thighs. She knew he’d noticed the damp spot on her bikini panties because he groaned softly, his gaze fixed on her crotch.
“Fourth of July,” he echoed hoarsely. “Okay, so I’ll go down on you on the Fourth of July, and then we can compare which is better, birthday or holiday oral.”
“Sounds good.”
Her laughter died midbreath as Seth shoved his hands under her butt and brought her body forward. Anticipation coiled in her belly. When he slowly peeled her underwear down her legs, her breath hitched, core tingling as she awaited his next move.
And boy was it worth the wait. The kiss he planted on her clit was so gentle, so warm and sweet, that it sent a full-body shiver rolling through her. Her head lolled to the side. Seth continued to kiss her most intimate place, using only his lips, depriving her of a tongue she knew to be oh so talented.
“You’re teasing,” she whispered. “And we don’t have a lot of time.”
“We’ve got twenty more minutes at least.” His hot breath tickled her.
“Yeah, but…” A moan slipped out when he rubbed his lips over her clit in another delicate kiss.
It wasn’t long before she realized he intended to use their allotted half hour to focus entirely on her pleasure. He worshipped her pussy like it was the single greatest treasure on earth. He kissed, licked, swirled, spreading her lips so he could tend to her clit and drive her closer and closer to the edge.
His stubble teased her inner thighs, deliciously scraping her sensitive skin, each raspy scratch heightening her rising excitement. She was so wet she could feel herself dripping, but Seth lapped her up with his tongue, groaning with approval.
The tension grew. Miranda looked down, mesmerized by the sight of his dark head between her legs. She threaded her fingers through his hair, bumping her groin into his face, losing herself in the pleasure he offered so sweetly.
“I want you to come.” His voice was low, strangled, vibrating in her core. “Come on my tongue, baby. Let me taste you.”
“Oh God.” Dirty talk was always guaranteed to send her teetering over the edge, and Seth was so damn good at it.
“Come on, baby,” he urged, then flicked his tongue over her clit. Quickly, precisely, knowing exactly what it would take to make her explode.
But the orgasm remained elusive, rippling beneath the surface, skipping across her skin in teasing little sparks, refusing to catch fire. She was gasping for air, clutching Seth’s hair so tightly she was surprised he didn’t protest.
So close. She was so close. All she needed was—that. Seth pushing two fingers inside her and wrapping his lips solidly around her clit. He sucked, and she climaxed, soaring into a spectacular plane where nothing but sheer ecstasy existed.
“Well?”
She emerged from the blissful daze to find him eyeing her expectantly. “Well what?” she wheezed, still catching her breath.
“You think the Fourth of July has any chance of topping that?”
“Not at all,” she confessed.
He gave her one last lick, and her pussy was so sensitized she squirmed out of reach. Chuckling, Seth put her panties back on, tugged her skirt down and wiped his face with the back of his hand.
Miranda moaned when she noticed that his facial hair was glistening. God, that was hot.
“You okay?” he asked gruffly.
“Not really. I can’t move my legs and I totally don’t want to go back to work.”
“I don’t blame you. Hey, if you want, I can stick around until closing time.” Something that resembled vulnerability crossed his face. “There was something I wanted to talk to you about, anyway.”
“I won’t have time to talk tonight. I have to wake up early tomorrow. Morning classes, remember?”
“Ah. Right.”
“Talk to me now. We’ve still got some time.”
That odd expression fluttered in his eyes again. “Um. Okay, sure.”
She flopped on the couch and waited. And waited. And waited some more. But he was just standing there, fidgeting, running a hand over his stubble, through his hair, behind his neck.
She started to get up. “Well, this has been thought-provoking, but—”
“I want to date you.”
Her ass plopped right back down. “What?”
“I want to date you.” His chest rose as he inhaled a deep breath.
“Seth…”
She had no clue what to say to that. No clue what to make of the little burst of joy that tickled her heart. Why was she happy, for Pete’s sake? Last time she’d considered letting the fling evolve into more, Seth had burst that bubble with four little words—they’re not my kids.
“No, just hear me out.” Misery clung to his voice, and it took her a second to grasp that the weird flicker in his eyes? It really was vulnerability. Wow. Who would have thought?
Seth sat beside her, resting his elbows on his knees and looking completely ill at ease. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted at the pizza place. Your children are great, Miranda. They’re smart, thoughtful, cute as hell. I’m just not fully comfortable with them.”
He was echoing the same words Ginny and Andre had said in the studio, and Miranda didn’t hear a trace of insincerity.
“I also have this thing…about disappointing people, I guess.” His voice was so thick and gravelly he sounded like he’d just smoked thirty cigarettes in a row. �
�I don’t like letting people down. I’ve disappointed a lot of people, especially my mom, and a part of me shuts down whenever I get too close to someone, because I know that in the end, I’ll end up disappointing them.”
Her heart squeezed painfully. The ravaged look on his face stole her breath, made her reach for his hand and grip it tightly.
“Hey, I’m sure that’s not true,” she murmured. “And whatever you think you did, you could never let Missy down. That woman adores you.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “I guess.” He didn’t sound too convinced of that. “So yeah, those are just my bullshit insecurities. But see, with you, I don’t shut down. With you, I always feel like I’m stripped bare. I hate it, but at the same time I’m okay with it. I want you to know me. I want you to be with me.”
Her breath caught. “Seth…” She trailed off. Didn’t know how to finish, how to formulate a response.
“I don’t like seeing you walk out the door right after we sleep together. I miss everything we were doing last month. Eating breakfast, washing dishes, cuddling in bed. I miss it and I want it back. So I’m making you a promise, right here and now. Give me a chance, and I swear I’ll make an effort. I’ll be nicer to the rugr—to Jason and Sophie. I’ll be patient, I’ll be attentive and I’ll be accepting of the fact that if I’m going to be a part of your life, then I need to be a part of theirs.”
He finished with the most endearing little shrug she’d ever seen.
Miranda was at a total loss for words. If someone had told her Seth would be reciting a speech like that, vowing to accept her children, she would’ve laughed them right out of San Diego. But here he was, nothing but honesty shining in his eyes. He meant it. He actually meant every word he said.
But meaning something, and following through on it, were two very different things.
“So what do you say?” he asked roughly.
“I…don’t know what to say.”
“Let me prove that I’m serious.” Determination streaked across his face. “I can come over tomorrow when you’re done at the studio. We’ll have dinner with the kids, hang out at your place, maybe play a board game or something?”
Out of Uniform Box Set: Books 4-6 plus 2 Bonus Novellas Page 20
