by Bijou Hunter
“Since I have a family to worry about now. No one else matters.”
“Except your club,” she says, poking me in the gut. “Oh, and your mommy and brothers and probably your father and Erik.”
“I don’t know about the last two. They can worry about themselves.”
“Oh, and you care about Bonn and Elle.”
“Shut up, will ya? I tried to make a point about me being fierce for my family and you had to shit all over it with logic and facts.”
When I give her a dark frown, Harmony frowns right back at me. There’s no time for a contest, but I don’t think I'd win with her fingers teasing under my shirt.
“Geez, woman, my mom is in the next room,” I say, walking past her with a quick smack to her ass.
Harmony chases after me and slaps my ass before we enter the room.
“What do you have in your hand?” Mom asks Keanu.
“Carl. A dog chewed his face, but he can still play.”
I think back to how silly his Carl issue seemed just weeks ago. Now I’d kill to protect that toy. I guess that means love has changed me for the better.
Forty Two - Harmony
People have always had their own ideas about who I am. Trailer trash. The bastard child of a ski bum and a party girl. A hippy. Single mom. A lush like her mama. That last one came from the losers at the Red Barn Bar.
No matter what they say, I don’t let it faze me. After all, I only get one life and pleasing others won’t change that fact.
With that said, a part of me wants Clara’s approval. The woman clearly loves her sons, and Dayton is as much a mama’s boy as a man can be without having her wipe his ass for him. She matters to him, and that means her opinion matters to me like most people’s never will.
So, when she stands in Keanu’s room, I start worrying about gaining her approval. Even worse, I care about how she sees Keanu. Is he well behaved enough for her liking? Does she look down at his used clothes? Is she judging my mothering skills?
Then Keanu’s dark-eyed gaze finds me, and he smiles. His love erases my worries. As long as I do right by him, people can think whatever they want about what kind of mother I am.
“Is Keanu a Korean name?” Clara asks, sitting on Keanu’s bed.
“No, it’s Hawaiian, but his middle name is Hwan after his father.”
Nodding and smiling, Clara seems like the nicest person in the world, but I have no clue what she’s thinking. Am I a hussy trapping her boozehound son into a relationship? Is Dayton only hooking up with me because Camden nailed down my sister? Or is she thinking something I can’t even imagine?
“What name would you have chosen for a girl?” she asks, and I’m startled by the question.
After a moment, I blurt out, “Calypso.”
“That’s a sweet name,” she lies.
“I’d still use it if I got pregnant with a girl. Not sure about another son’s name. Maybe Aesop.”
Clara’s smile never wavers, making me think I could pick any silly name in the universe without her so much as flinching.
“I always wanted a daughter,” she says, “but boys are fun.”
Glancing back to the door, I notice Hudson is gone, and Dayton stands in his place.
“Are you okay?” I ask, startled by his enraged expression.
“Mom, can you watch the kid for a second while I talk to Harmony about something?”
Clara doesn’t finish saying yes before Dayton pulls me out of the room. Holding my hand, he tugs me across the living room and into his bedroom where he shuts the door.
“What?” I cry, yanking my hand free.
“I don’t like kids.”
My panic at his anger shifts into confusion. “I don’t know how to respond to that.”
“I hate the crying and the smell. They stink, you know?” he says, pacing around the room. “I can’t stand their little fingers on everything and how they don’t wipe their noses. And even their good smells are gross.”
“Okay,” I say, crossing my arms and gritting my teeth.
Dayton notices my tension and reacts by running his hands through his hair. Normally, this gesture signals he’s decompressing, but I don’t know what to think right now.
“But I love Keanu,” Dayton says, taking a step closer and caressing my cheek, “so maybe if you really want to have another kid… I mean one with me, then I could learn to get over the thing I have about their stink.”
“Why are you freaking out about this now?”
“Mom was asking about names. She’s already gotten babies on the brain. Soon you will too, and I’ll need to deal with baby crap. Not that I wouldn’t figure it out if that’s what you want, but it’s not really what I want. Not yet anyway. Does that make sense?”
“Oh, Dayton, you big dumb sexy idiot,” I say, cupping his face. “I don’t want another baby right now.”
“You don’t?”
“No. I’m already busy with a job I love, and I want to give all my free time to you and Keanu. Any leftover time goes to my family and occasionally myself. Another baby doesn’t make sense right now.”
“Oh.”
“Are you disappointed?” I tease while resting my head against his chest.
“No, but that might change when Camden starts pounding out kids with Daisy, and everyone asks when I’ll do the same.”
Staring up at him, I frown. “I refuse to have more kids so that you can compete with your brother.”
“No, that’s probably not a good plan. Kids are a lot of work, and they smell.”
“Stop saying Keanu smells,” I mutter, letting go of Dayton’s hard, hot body.
“Not him. He’s a good kid, and I guess ours would be too, but I really hate everyone else’s kids.”
“What about Elle?”
“I could do without all her dolls and princess crap, but she’s good otherwise.”
“Yeah, you’re not ready for another kid,” I say and then hug him. “But neither am I. My mom did a good job loving my sisters and me at the same time, but I worry I’ll give Keanu too little if I have another kid. Also, I don’t think I could keep my current position if I were pregnant. My clients get aggressive sometimes. So, I’m not ready, and I don’t see that changing for a few years at least.”
“Good.”
“Do you feel better now?” I ask, pulling him down so I can nuzzle his throat with my lips.
“Yes.”
“You don’t think all those negative things about Keanu, do you?”
“No, but I wasn’t around for the diapers and baby crying parts of him growing up.”
“And you haven’t seen him throw a massive tantrum yet. That’ll be fun.”
“I’ll let you handle that while I go out and get a pack of smokes.”
Rolling my eyes, I walk to the door. “You pull that shit, and I’ll shove those smokes up your ass.”
“Kinky,” he says, following close behind me as we leave the room.
I take his hand and squeeze it reassuringly. Despite his cocky stance, he’s let his mom’s presence, and her hopes for him, get under his skin. No doubt life was easier when he spent his days drunk, and every word coming out of his mouth was a lie. Now he’s forced to be a man responsible not only for doing the right things but wanting them too.
Forty Three - Dayton
Somehow, Camden beats me to Bonn’s office. He was probably in White Horse when he got the message from Daisy who works in the town. I’d been at Mom’s eating pie and talking about Keanu when Harmony texted me. Camden won by default, but the win still gnaws at my ego.
Arriving at Bonn’s office in Common Bend, I park next to Camden’s Harley and head inside. I step through the shattered front door, ignoring the glass crunching under my boots.
“Anyone dead?” I ask Bonn.
“Why are you here?”
From his tone, I suspect he said something similar to Camden. My brother frowns at me and then back at Bonn.
“If someone takes a shot at family,” Cam
den growls, “you come to see if they’re okay.”
Nodding, I gesture at Camden. “What he said, but my version would have sounded tougher and less whiny.”
“Shut up.”
I smile at Camden who refuses to smile back. He wants to, though. I see in his handsome dark eyes the urge to find the humor in this situation, but he won’t give in.
“So, let me get this straight,” Bonn says, crossing his massive arms. “I called Ruby to tell her what happened and she instantly informed her sisters who instantly informed you two. Is that right?”
Camden and I nod in unison, causing Bonn to sigh loudly. “I pissed off a lot of people when I took over for the Reapers in Common Bend. Someone was bound to send me a warning.”
“Was it a warning?” I ask and walk to the front door. “Or did they have a real shot at hitting someone?”
“I was at the door when they fired.”
Camden exhales hard. “So, they weren’t sending a message. They were trying to put you six feet under.”
“Bonn, I get that you’re a big boy, and you don’t want anyone changing your diapers, but you’re acting like a little bitch right now.”
“How do you figure, smart guy?” Bonn asks, crossing his arms.
“Someone took a shot at you today. You, a family man with a kid at home and who’s soon to be married, yet you act like our concern is silly shit. I think you’re downplaying things you shouldn’t. This is why I’m considered the smart guy in our group.”
Bonn exhales slowly and unclenches his arms. “I don’t want to make a big shit about it. Not with Ruby already terrified.”
“She isn’t here. You can be square with us.”
“Fine then. Someone took a shot at me, and the list of suspects is fucking long.”
“We can help you narrow down the list,” Camden offers.
“I don’t know if he’ll be cool with that.”
Before we can ask who Bonn means, we hear Angus Hayes coming through the shattered front door. He puffs on a cigar like an enraged locomotive, making me want to laugh in his big fucking face.
I don’t, of course. But it’s a tough call.
“They come here to fucking confess?” he asks Bonn.
Camden shakes his head. “We came as family concerned about one of our own.”
“Well, riddle me this, fucker, how do I know it wasn’t one of your fucking people who took a shot at one of my fucking people?”
“I only heard the word ‘fuck.’ Is he coming onto me?” I ask Camden.
Hayes growls in my direction. “Don’t start with me, Twin Number Two.”
“I prefer Turd Twin, but what fucking ever.”
“None of our people have any reason to mess with Bonn,” Camden says, ignoring my attempt to start trouble.
“He’s running my shit in a fucking place your twat nugget fathers wanted to run. Don’t sell me bullshit about your club’s clean hands.”
“Our guys aren’t fucking with your shit. If we wanted to take a shot at your organization, we’d aim for the top.”
“I thought you two had an agreement,” I say, gesturing between Camden and Hayes. “Or did I hear that wrong?”
“You told him?” Hayes growls at my brother.
Camden shrugs. “The idiot’s a troublemaker. If I want him to behave, he needs to know the rules.”
“I’m all about the rules,” I admit, smiling despite the men’s bad moods.
“The Brotherhood didn’t do this,” Camden states as a fact.
Hayes gives my brother a nasty frown, but Camden doesn’t relent. He believes with all his precious heart that no one in the Brotherhood would go against the wishes of our illustrious president and VP. I think Camden’s fucking naïve to think one of our club brothers wouldn’t help the club by removing Bonn from Common Bend.
Or at least one of our wannabe club brothers.
JJ mentions Common Bend every time I see him. The way his half-brother stole the town from their father, Howler, drives the asshole nuts. If JJ got it in his fat head to deal with the problem, he would have no problem killing Bonn.
He’s also a terrible shot, so missing so badly is completely in the fucker’s wheelhouse.
I don’t share these thoughts with Camden or Bonn and certainly not with Hayes. I’m unsure if I should tell anyone my suspicions or what I plan to do about it. Camden might need his hands clean for when he runs the Brotherhood, and Bonn’s allegiance is to a man considered at best the club’s friendly enemy.
There’s only one person I can trust with my secrets, but I’m not sure she has the stomach to hear them.
Forty Four - Harmony
Ruby doesn’t even pretend she’s calm when I arrive to the condo with Keanu. Daisy runs into the hallway and directs us to Ruby’s place where Elle immediately takes her cousin to the living room for TV and snacks.
I hug Ruby who is downing a pint of ice cream.
“He could have died,” she whispers.
Daisy nods, but her jaw is so tight I’m worried she’ll break her teeth. “But he didn’t.”
I place my hands over theirs and squeeze. “I love you both, and I know you love your guys. I love Dayton too, but this is the life we signed onto, and we need to be strong now.”
“Is it really that simple?” Ruby asks.
“No, but we need to make it seem that way for our men. This thing will rattle them, and it’s our job to give them back their confidence by faking like we’re confident too.”
“I don’t think we’re supposed to lie in a marriage,” Daisy says.
We laugh at the thought of always telling the truth, and I notice their tension fades the tiniest bit.
“I’m not saying we shouldn’t worry. Still, Howler and Mojo stayed alive all these years, and they’re not Mensa members.”
“It’s a different time,” Ruby says before shoving another scoop of ice cream in her mouth.
“Is it really, though, or does it seem scarier now because we see the situation from the inside rather than from the outside?” I ask, trying to stay rational rather than worrying over where Dayton might be right that moment.
“Bonn will know I’m full of shit if he comes home and I act cool with someone trying to kill him.”
“Camden always knows when I’m lying.”
“You two are so lame. I lie to Dayton constantly, just to keep him on his toes.”
“Really?” Daisy asks, giving me an unconvinced frown.
“No, but it’s not so difficult to lie. Or at least fudge the truth. Ask Bonn if he has it handled rather than drilling him for details. When Camden mentions it, Daisy, you can say he better find out who it was and handle the problem. That way, the guys need to reassure us about how manly they are and how they can beat down any threat.”
Ruby and Daisy look at each other and sigh in unison. I wish I were in on their internal musing. Instead, I’m pep-talking my sisters about crap I barely understand.
I mean, in theory, I’m cool with Dayton’s lifestyle because he always seems scary to me and I’ve seen him scare people without doing much. I figured his reputation meant he was a badass, and I didn’t need to worry about the details.
“Can I have some?” I ask Ruby.
“Get a spoon and dig in.”
My sisters and I eat ice cream and watch the kids, but the conversation is dead until our men arrive home in a burst of activity.
Camden is in a bitch of a mood and throws Daisy over his shoulder before hauling her back to their place.
Bonn stands very still while staring at me as if willing me to get the hell out.
Dayton struts into the condo and tells Keanu how Carl needs to go next door to our place.
After hugging Ruby, I take Keanu’s hand and follow Dayton who doesn’t have a care in the world.
Keanu runs to his room to get Carl’s truck and then run back into the living room to play. Dayton and I watch the boy disappear. Once he’s gone, we begin to speak, but shut up as soon as he
reappears. Realizing privacy is a luxury of the childless, I word my question carefully.
“What happens now?” I ask.
“About what?” Dayton mumbles before kissing away my reply.
His lips don’t leave mine until Keanu’s explosion noises draw us apart.
“About the person who did that thing today,” I ask.
“How would I know?”
“I think you know who did it and I think you have an idea what needs to be done.”
“You think that, huh?” Dayton asks, smirking.
“Yes, I do.” Walking around the kitchen island, I wrap my arms around his waist. “I think you’ve known what you need to do for a while, but you don’t want to because a part of you likes the guy. Or feels sorry for him at least.”
“I don’t think I pity the fucker.”
“I think you do. You’re softer inside than you let on even to yourself. JJ had a tough upbringing, and he got screwed like Bonn did. Maybe even worse.”
Dayton rolls his eyes, but I continue anyway.
“JJ didn’t have friends like you and Camden. He didn’t meet someone like Ruby. He grew up to be the worst parts of Howler. Petty and jealous, he’ll burn down everything Bonn has, but it won’t be enough. Next, he’ll think Camden has life too easy. Then he’ll turn on you. Eventually, he’ll turn on everyone because the feeling he craves is something he’ll never find.”
“That’s a great read on someone you’ve met once in passing.”
Still hugging him, I wish I felt as confident as my words imply. “I know people who can’t find satisfaction. Nothing calms them. No one makes them happy. Those people always self-destruct. Those like JJ will drag down others too.”
“So, I finish him before he finishes me?”
Dayton holds my gaze, daring me to give him permission to kill a man.
“JJ thinks you’re his friend. He trusts you. For now, you’re safe, but the people you care about aren’t. And if JJ ever ends up in jail, he’ll bring down the entire club.”
“You want me to do it.”
My heart hates to continue this conversation. I don’t want Dayton to do ugly things. He should live a pampered, safe life where ugly things happen to other people.
