by Kimber White
But the wolf glared down at me, making me take a cautious step back. Tallulah neighed out a warning behind me. I hoped Tucker didn’t spook the horse. It would be a long walk home.
Then Tucker sat back on his haunches and I grew bold. I crossed the distance between us, my vision blurring with fresh tears. I never grieved him. Not really. I’d spent so much of the last five months fighting to survive in one way or the other. And then Mal came and blew my world apart all over again.
I put a hand out and Tucker’s lips curled back revealing his fangs, his growl a low vibration that I could feel in my fingertips. I took another step. One more and I could touch him if I dared. I made my mind still, not wanting to call to Mal even though every instinct in my body cried out for the pack. I let my brain override the danger signals my body sensed. This was Tucker. My Tucker. My hand went to the Alpha’s mark at my neck. I could still feel the edges of the scar that Tucker had made.
I went to my knees beside him. One movement, one snap of his jaws and he could tear my throat to shreds. The tiny life within me stirred.
“Shh,” I whispered, both to my child and to the powerful wolf beside me. I reached out and buried my fingers in his soft, silver fur, letting them rest against his ribcage.
Tucker darted backward as though my touch seared him. Maybe it did. Though I’d seen him with my eyes, until I touched him, some part of me doubted he was real. Perhaps he felt the same.
“Tucker,” I said, my voice choked with the tears I’d tried to keep at bay. “Tucker, please. Come back to me.”
He paced back and forth, panting, his tail wagging wildly. I crawled forward and touched him again, resting my hand against his neck. “Baby,” I whispered.
Tucker froze. I got closer, grabbing him by the ears. I dragged his head down until I pressed my forehead against his. I ran a hand along his back. He shivered from head to tail.
“It’s me,” I said, sobbing. “Baby, it’s me. I know you’re in there.”
He wrenched himself away from me and reared on his hind legs. He pawed at the air and growled low. I advanced again. Rising to my feet again, I took three slow steps toward him. When I reached out to touch him again, he snapped his jaws in the air, warning me to stay away.
I stayed still, waiting.
Tucker chuffed and whined. Then finally, he stretched out, arching his back. The air changed around him. The wind stilled. I heard the first wrenching crack of bone and sinew. Tucker’s fur rolled. He stretched his neck out, straining to make the shift.
“Come back,” I said, my voice growing stronger. “You have to come back.”
Tucker writhed on the ground in clear agony, his body shimmered and stretched. Shifting was once effortless for him, now I wasn’t sure he’d survive it. I recoiled, suddenly afraid my desire might be the thing to finally kill him.
But, Tucker let out a great sigh. His body trembled and he made a last gasp. Then, his fur stretched and turned to flesh. His spine straightened and his body closed in on itself. But when he stopped trembling, Tucker rose before me, naked, whole, glorious.
Chapter Sixty-Three
He took a halting step forward. My eyes raked over the powerful muscles of his thighs, his thick cock bobbed before me. Strong hips that tapered down from his chiseled abdomen. He held his shoulders back.
As Tucker stood still, I went to him. I reached out and let my fingers trail around the patchwork of new, deep scars that ran over his chest and stretched all the way across his back. He shivered at my touch. I went around and stood before him again. His wolf eyes flashed and then went dark, leaving the eyes of the man I loved settling on mine. His filled with tenderness and pain.
“Neve,” he finally said, his voice hoarse after months without talking. “You’re alive?”
Swallowing hard, I nodded. “You are too.”
Then, I couldn’t stand another second without him holding me. I ran into his strong arms and pressed my head against his heart. His beat strong and wild. It tore my guts to shreds that I couldn’t hear it within me like before. I wanted him back. All the way, though I knew to let him would betray Mal.
I had so much to tell him. So much to explain, but as Tucker held me against him and whispered my name, none of it mattered. No words could cover the time, grief, and circumstances in which we found ourselves.
And Tucker knew. He was were. He knew about Mal. He knew about the baby. He just knew.
I looked up. Tucker met my eyes. “I love you,” I said. “I want you.”
When his eyes dropped to mine, everything seemed to fall away. There was no Mal, no pack. No Asher. There was only me and Tucker and everything we meant to each other. He tilted my head up with his fingers and brought his lips down to mine. The kiss started slow and deep. We spent time exploring each other again. I brought my hands up and threaded my fingers through his soft, black hair.
I moaned as he moved his mouth over me, feathering his tongue along the column of my neck and kissing the hollow of my throat. I reached down and closed my fingers around his rock hard cock. He pulsed against my hand and I moved, meaning to go down to my knees for him. My sex throbbed and the first slow trickle of moisture settled between my legs.
He groaned as I stroked him. He cupped my fingers, bringing my eyes up to meet his as I knelt before him.
“Neve.” He whispered my name over and over. I leaned forward, ready to take Tucker in my mouth and bring him back to me all the way.
Then a heartbeat thundered in my ears, raising the hairs along my spine. I knew we were no longer alone.
While on my hands and knees before the man I loved, I turned to face the wolf I mated.
Chapter Sixty-Four
I scrambled to my feet and put my body between Tucker’s and Mal’s. Tucker’s wolf eyes flashed and I said a silent prayer that he could maintain control. If he shifted back now, this would have to end in death for one of them.
I put my hands out, palms up in surrender as Mal approached. Neither of them could get to each other without going through me and for now, it had to stay that way. I hoped Mal’s need to protect me and his unborn child would be enough to keep him from attacking. Mal hesitated, his deadly fangs dripped as the bloodlust made his eyes glint. But, when he saw I wouldn’t budge, his shoulders dropped and he shifted, rising to his full height. Mal the man looked equally threatening with his fists balled at his sides.
“Get away from her,” Mal said. “Neve belongs to me.”
“Mal, calm down,” I said though I realized I was wasting my breath. This went beyond reason. Tucker and Mal’s animal instincts would rule.
Behind me, Tucker’s rage boiled. I could feel the tension in his hand as he gripped my shoulder. I tried to plant my feet in the ground, but I was no match for a full-blooded were in the throes of his own bloodlust. Tucker shoved me behind him and held me there.
Mal lunged. Tucker let go of me, dropped low, wrapped his arms around Mal’s legs and drove him back until they landed on the ground. Tucker landed the first punch straight across Mal’s jaw. Mal countered with a punishing blow to Tucker’s side.
“Stop it!” I screamed. I could do nothing but watch in horror as they tried to tear each other apart. Neither of them shifted and I stupidly thought that might keep this from turning deadly.
Tallulah reared on her hind legs as Tucker pushed Mal forward, letting him get to his feet and round back on him. Mal landed a right hook that made blood spurt from Tucker’s mouth. Tucker grunted and rammed Mal in the chest, driving him back against an oak tree. Mal hissed and I thought I heard his rib crack. It didn’t slow him down. He countered with another right hook. Tucker dodged this one and threw his own.
“No more!” I tore at my hair. Neither of them could hear me. They would kill each other. As wolves, as men. They would finish the challenge Mal started five months ago, one way or another.
I called to the pack, praying they wouldn’t join the fight on Mal’s side. But, I had to do something. No one answered. My conne
ction to them came through Mal. Locked in battle with Tucker, his mind was closed to me.
Then, Mal threw Tucker off of him. As Mal rolled, he shifted back into his wolf. I cried out in horror as I saw murder in his eyes. He turned on Tucker and lunged for him. Tucker was on his stomach, heaving himself up to round on Mal again. Time seemed to stand still as Mal leaped through the air. If he made contact with Tucker before Tucker turned and shifted, Mal would kill him instantly.
But Tucker did shift. He whipped his body around and met Mal mid-flight. Tucker sank his fangs into Mal’s side, ripping a chunk of flesh away. Bleeding badly, Mal fought back. He landed a glancing blow across Tucker’s snout that sent him spinning.
I watched helplessly knowing I would lose either the man I loved or the father of my child. I could not have both unless I could get one of them to listen to me. I called out to Mal with my mind. He shut me out. Tucker could only hear me with his ears and he focused solely on killing Mal.
I would throw myself on one of them but it would only get me killed. And there wasn’t just me to think about. That little heartbeat fluttered in my womb as if he knew his father faced mortal peril. I knew in that moment that no matter what, I could not lose either one of them.
Something rose within me as I called out to my two Alphas. I loved Tucker. He had my heart. But Mal was my mate and his son called out to him through me. I felt sick. Heat roiled through me and I dropped to my knees. My arms went to my stomach. This was wrong. I retched and felt something snap inside me. Every nerve ending blazed with pain and the strength went out of my limbs.
Tucker had gotten the advantage again. He sank his jaw into Mal’s back. Mal howled with pain and turned on him. I saw Tucker’s eyes though. Mal had exposed a weakness, it was just for an instant, but it was all Tucker needed. He went in for the kill.
My voice erupted in a roar as I tried to prevent it. Not like this. No more blood. I saw Tucker and Mal through a dim haze; the heat coming off them seemed to have color to it. Their hearts blazed vibrant red. I could hear both of their heartbeats as loud as a bass drum right next to my ear. Though I couldn’t get them to listen to me, I could hear everything. The rustle of the trees, a brown hare to the east of us as it scurried for cover away from the uproar.
I crawled forward and took a breath to scream again. A howl came from all sides, rending the air and making both Mal and Tucker freeze. It wasn’t anyone from the pack. Had Asher finally found his way back? They looked at me. Tucker took a staggering step back. So did Mal. They turned, taking slow steps, and flanked me. They shifted back to men, each of them towering over me as if they’d grown five feet taller.
Tucker spoke first, his voice filled with alarm. “Neve. Baby?”
I tried to answer him. Another howl rose high, drowning out every other sound. And then I understood the look on their faces. The howl came from me. I looked down where my hands should be and saw black, deadly claws instead of fingers.
I opened my mouth to scream and that same howl rose. This time, I understood. The howl came from me. I had shifted.
Chapter Sixty-Five
My heart thundered in my chest. I drowned in scents and sounds. I could hear Tucker breathing. Whispering through the pines. Thumping footsteps. Something large. My stomach roiled and I retched again. I wanted to scream but had no control of my voice.
Mal and Tucker advanced, on either side of me, each with their hands out ready to touch me. I leaped to the side.
Power. Control. If I ran, no man could catch me. I heard those thumping footsteps again and sniffed the air. Whitetail doe. Four hundred yards to the east.
A hunger rose within me. My mouth watered and filled with blood. I didn’t think. I acted. I ran toward the doe’s scent fueled by instinct and desire. I was the wind, running fast and free. A predator. The doe bedded down near a frozen brook. She pricked one ear back, then the other. A twig cracked somewhere in front of her. She rose and started to run. I gave chase.
I could overtake her, easily. She jumped over fallen branches. I stayed just behind her back hooves, snapping to let her know I was there. She tried to zig zag but I anticipated, cutting her off. Then, I saw a weakness. I reached out and seized the doe’s hind leg, ripping through muscle with my teeth. The taste of blood seemed to go straight to my heart, like a shot of adrenalin. I clamped down and shook my head, snapping the small bones in her calf. She went down.
I circled. Mal and Tucker had caught up. They hung back circling, watching. This was my kill. The doe’s eyes went still, her breathing slowed. I lunged and went for her jugular, giving her a quick if not clean death. Her lifeblood drained out of her; my own heart raced. When I knew she was gone for good, I howled, pawed at the ground then tore into the meat of her hindquarters.
I couldn’t stop. No power on this earth could have prevented what happened. If I hadn’t given into it, I would have died. I can’t explain it. I trembled in fear when it was over. Whatever happened to me, I couldn’t control it. I didn’t know how to shift back.
Mal and Tucker waited, then stepped forward. Tucker reached me first. He put a hand on my back, sensing my rising panic.
“Take your hands off of her,” Mal said. His voice sounded muffled as if he were underwater. I hated it. It made me feel even more trapped.
Shh. Tucker spoke to me on some telepathic level, like he did with the pack.
You’re going to be all right. It’s scary the first time.
I tried to talk. It came out as a whine. Oh God, how could I even communicate? Then, as Tucker put a gentle hand behind my ear, I knew. It just came to me.
Help me. I can’t undo it.
Tucker knelt before me, holding my face . . . oh God, my snout in his hands. He smiled. His eyes shone with tenderness. Mal stood behind him like a colossus.
You’ll find your way back. Tucker’s voice hit just the right tone. Kind, but authoritative. When he spoke, I knew I would follow him anywhere. Just like an Alpha.
Tell me how. Tucker’s voice and touch kept me tethered. Without it, I think I would have died of fright.
Tucker smiled again. You know, I’m not sure. It’s been so long since I learned how to do it myself. It just happens.
This wasn’t helpful. At all.
I felt that familiar flutter within me. Not steady this time, but wild and erratic.
“Don’t think,” Tucker said, rising to his full height. “Just do it. Take a step and imagine a foot instead of a paw.”
I brought my head up and down, trying to nod. I closed my eyes and saw myself as I always did. Arms, legs, hands, feet. I took a step. Then another. My joints bent with aching slowness. My skin stretched to the point I thought I would tear in half. But, I took a step. Then one more. When I opened my eyes and looked down, I had feet again. I raised my hands to my face, splayed my fingers wide then clenched my fists.
I laughed and looked at Tucker. His smile didn’t reach his eyes. Mal stepped forward. All the color had drained from his face.
“It’s okay,” I said, happy it didn’t come out as a bark or a howl. “I did it.”
“Neve,” Mal said, his voice breaking. “You’re bleeding.”
He pointed and I followed his finger down. A river of red ran between my legs. White hot pain shot through me. The sky spun above me and then everything went dark.
Chapter Sixty-Six
I opened my eyes to blinding light and stabbing pain like a thousand tiny needles driven under my skin. Pat held my hand and peered down at me with kind, bloodshot eyes.
“You gave us a hell of a scare, darlin’,” she said.
Another woman stood at her shoulder, shining a penlight in my face. When I squinted, she smiled and clicked it off. She was striking, with jet black hair pulled high in a bun. Her charcoal brows cut a slash above emerald green eyes.
“I am Suzanne Olivet,” she said with the rapid-fire syllables of a French Canadian accent.
Her words cut through the fog of my thoughts. Dr. Olivet. Mal had sent fo
r her to examine me when we found out I was pregnant for sure. But, she wasn’t supposed to come for a few weeks yet.
“Tucker chartered a plane to fly her out as soon as they got you back here,” Pat said. The woman could damn near read my thoughts. “You’ve been out of it for a few hours.”
“You are going to be fine,” Suzanne said.
I squeezed my eyes shut and placed my hand over my abdomen. I felt empty, hollowed out, and I knew the answer before I asked it. Still, I needed to hear the words.
“You have lost the child,” Suzanne said. Pat squeezed my hand. “I am sorry for that.”
Grief hit me in the chest, forcing air from my lungs. I searched for that answering flutter but found nothing. Gone. My child was gone. I turned to my side and hugged the pillow. I couldn’t sort my thoughts. Tucker. The baby. What happened to me. I felt weightless, boneless, like it was all just too much and I might float away. Pat’s hand on my leg seemed to anchor me and I came back into myself. I turned to her.
“Where’s Mal?” I said. “Does he know?”
Pat nodded. “He knows, honey. He took it pretty hard but he’ll be all right. Everybody’s just real glad you’re okay.”
“Very,” Suzanne said. “You lost a lot of blood. But you are okay. There is no reason to think you will not be able to have others.”
Others? How could there ever be others?
I shook my head. “Then you don’t understand how it happened.” I wasn’t sure what I meant. The miscarriage? The shift? All of it.
Suzanne heaved a great sigh. She patted my thigh and smiled. “Remarkable. There have been stories of those like you. But, I think not for centuries. Some say those stories are, what do you say, urban myths. I would like to spend some time examining you when you feel more yourself.”
“I’m not a shifter,” I said, sitting up. Pat put a hand behind my shoulders and helped me. Suzanne handed me a glass of cool water. It felt like heaven going down. I thanked her and handed it back.
