by A. E. Radley
“You’re not very good at this,” Henry told her.
“What am I supposed to be doing?”
“Flying,” he explained.
Olivia looked around the dining room. “I’m not sure how to do that.”
“You have to pretend you’re on an airplane. You’re not pretending.”
That was true. She wasn’t pretending. The very idea was causing panic to rise inside her, and she was desperately trying to remind herself that she was safe on the ground.
“I-I don’t really like flying anymore, Henry,” she said carefully.
They’d agreed to not say too much about Olivia being on the plane that had crashed for fear of giving Henry his own fear of flying.
“Why?” Henry asked as he sat on the seat beside her.
She reached over and placed her mug on the dining room table.
“Because I’m scared,” she said honestly.
He slowly nodded his head. He took her hand in both of his and held it tightly.
“You don’t have to be scared, Olivia. You have me. And I’ll make sure you don’t feel scared.”
She looked down at his tiny hands wrapped around hers. She felt her eyes well up a little at the sweet gesture.
“Thank you, Henry.” She squeezed his hands gently.
“It’s all very safe,” Henry told her. “I’ll talk you through the whole thing.”
Olivia suddenly realised that Henry was repeating to her what Emily had told him when he took his first flight to London. She remembered how small and scared he had looked in the enormous first-class chair across the aisle from her own.
“Airplanes are the safest way to travel,” he explained.
20
Emily hurried down the street, casting a few worried glances over her shoulder. She was convinced that someone was following her, but in a busy city like London, it was impossible to tell for certain. In her heart, she was sure that it was paranoia. Not that the knowledge helped to calm her much.
So far, there had been nothing unusual about her working week. No theatre tickets, no flowers, nothing. But an oppressive cloud of concern hung over her like a damp sheet.
Her phone rang, and she pulled it out of her pocket. She smiled as she looked at the caller ID.
“Hello?”
“Mommy, I have a kitten!” Henry screeched loudly.
“Wow, a kitten?” Emily played along. She’d already had a long text-based conversation with Olivia about the new addition to the family.
“He’s amazing.”
“I bet he is,” Emily agreed. “What colour is he?”
“He’s white with black ears, and his name is Captain McFluffypants the Seventh.”
Emily bit her lip to keep the laugh from bubbling out. “Cool name, Henry!”
“I’m going to go and play with him now, bye,” Henry rushed out.
She heard a few moments of muffled discussion and some rustling of the phone being handed over.
“How do we make him change the name?” Olivia asked without preamble. “I have an appointment with the veterinary clinic tomorrow, and I can’t tell them that’s the kitten’s name. I’ll be carted off to some hospital with padded walls.”
Emily laughed. “I’m sorry, darling, not a lot we can do about it now.”
“I know London is a long way and sometimes the connection is bad, but did you actually hear what Henry has named this poor animal?” Olivia asked.
“I did hear, I think it’s nice. Does he have fluffy pants?” Emily asked through giggles.
“No, and I highly doubt he’s a captain either.”
“Just tell the clinic that his name is Fluffy, Henry will never know. It’s not like he’s ever going to take the cat for his booster shots. It can be his paperwork name, to save you from death by embarrassment.”
“I feel like you set me up,” Olivia said good-humouredly.
“No, you got yourself into the mess, I just didn’t get you out of it,” Emily corrected.
Olivia chuckled, and Emily’s heart clenched at the familiar deep sound. She wanted to be there. Wanted to see Olivia’s face, to stroke her cheek. Not for the first time she cursed that the two loves of her life were on separate continents. Work and home, so far apart. It was like the universe was playing a joke on her.
“Are you meeting Simon this evening?” Olivia broke the silence.
“Yes, I’m just on my way to meet him now. I’ll say hello from you.”
“But I haven’t said hello.”
“I know, but I’ll still tell him that you have.”
“Why?”
Emily rolled her eyes. “Because it’s something that people do.”
“Seems odd,” Olivia said. “Anyway, have a lovely time. Text me to let me know you get back to the hotel safely.”
“I will, I’ll speak to you tomorrow. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Olivia replied.
Emily hung up and looked once more over her shoulder. She shook her head at her own ridiculousness.
“Calm down,” she muttered to herself.
She looked down at her phone again and selected the map icon. She was only a couple of minutes away from the coffee shop where they had planned to meet. With a final glance over her shoulder, she picked up her pace.
“Simon!” She stood up from the table she had snagged at the back of the café and waved.
Simon saw her and hurried over, a wide smile on his face and his arms out in preparation for the hug.
“It’s been ages,” he told her.
She pulled him into a hug. “It’s been three weeks,” she corrected.
“Ages,” he emphasised.
They pulled apart and sat down. The waitress was by their side immediately and they both ordered hot drinks.
“Olivia says hello,” Emily told him.
“Does she, though?” Simon chuckled.
“Well, no, she doesn’t understand why someone would say hello for someone else. So, I’m saying hello on behalf of Olivia because that’s what people do.”
He laughed out loud. “Now that’s more like it.”
“I’m learning,” she told him with a wink. Simon had been the person to first convince her to try to understand Olivia’s unique ways. Without Simon’s guidance and interference, they’d never have gotten together, so Emily would always be grateful for the role he played in their relationship.
“So, enjoying London?” he asked.
She pouted.
“Not enjoying London?” he tried again.
She sighed. “I am, and I’m not.”
“Goldilocks,” he joked. “This country’s too warm and that country’s too cold.”
“Something like that. More like, this country has the job of my dreams and that country has the loves of my life.”
“Sounds hard.” He looked at her sympathetically.
“It is. I didn’t think it would be this hard. I’ve done the awful commute, the terrible work hours, the being away from family. But somehow this is worse, because this is a choice.”
Emily leant back as the waitress lowered the drinks to the table. Though she was pleased for the prompt service, she was also frustrated by the interruption. Simon was the one person she felt she could speak to about these things. He knew all the players, he’d been there through the ups and the downs, and she trusted his opinion. If anyone was going to tell her what she needed, whether she wanted to hear it or not, it would be him.
It had been hard to arrange a time when they were both free. The theatre was taking up most of Emily’s time, and Simon seemed swamped with work, too. When they’d finally found an hour when they could meet, they grabbed at the chance.
“Olivia and Henry don’t begrudge you taking this job, doing what you love,” he told her.
“I know,” Emily agreed. “But I feel guilty.”
He picked up a teaspoon and stirred his drink, looking at the swirls sadly. “I know that feeling,” he mumbled.
Emily pushed her cup and saucer
to one side and snagged his free hand with hers.
“What’s up?” she asked.
He shook his head. “It’s fine, just… work stuff.”
“Hey, I can’t be the only one having a meltdown,” she joked. “What’s up?”
Simon turned his hand and grasped hers for a moment before pulling back to remove his glasses and rub his face.
“Being the boss sucks,” he said simply.
Emily was floored to hear that Simon was unhappy at work. Olivia had laid a path for him to be in charge. During the handover, they had spoken frequently, and Emily hadn’t heard anything to suggest that Simon wasn’t happy.
“Don’t tell Olivia,” he told her seriously, “but I never wanted to be in charge.” Simon put his chin in his hand and let out a long sigh. “I thought it would be okay. I thought I’d figure it out. And the salary increase with a baby on the way is really nice.”
“But it’s not what you want?”
“No. And the baby is coming and I’m already struggling to find time to go out and eat lunch. What am I going to do when I’m a dad as well? The baby won’t recognise me.” He sat up. “I remember Olivia working all hours, but she had me. I brought her lunch, dinner sometimes. I got her coffee and water. I sent her home. I don’t have a me.”
“Can you get a you?” Emily asked.
He sat up and put his glasses on. “Nah. I’m pretty unique,” he said.
“How about an inferior version, just to take some of the pressure off?”
He shook his head. “I’d still be stuck with the problem that I’m never home.”
“Why don’t you just say it’s not what you want and take a step back?”
He shook his head. “After all the hell Olivia went through to set up this deal? Olivia gave up her dream job, stepped down, and put me in her place. If she hadn’t done that, then Applewoods would have gone under and loads of people would have lost their jobs. I can’t turn around now and whine that it’s too much. I don’t want to let people down.”
“You wouldn’t be letting people down.”
“I feel like I’m letting Olivia down. She needed me to make this work. And I can technically do the job, I wish that I wasn’t. It’s not me. I’m not a manager. But I feel like I’m stuck with it now.”
“You have to look after yourself,” Emily told him seriously. “Simon, you have to come first. Life is too short to be doing things you don’t want to do. Family has to come first.”
She took a sip of her drink.
Simon stared at her.
“What?” she asked, once she had swallowed the hot liquid.
“Sorry, I’m wondering if you’re the same woman who was just saying that she’s miserable being so far away from her own family.” He smiled.
She lowered the cup into the saucer. “I hadn’t even thought of that,” she admitted. “I’m sorry, I must sound like such a hypocrite.”
“Not at all. I think we both would have given each other similar advice, without being able to apply it to ourselves. But, seriously, don’t tell Olivia.”
She shook her head. “I won’t. But you probably should.”
“I know. I’m thinking of the best way to say it. And maybe a solution for it, you know things are always better presented when you know a solution. Throwing a spanner in the works is a lot easier if you know how to fix it after.”
“Olivia is an expert in corporate restructuring,” Emily reminded him. “And, trust me, she needs something to do.”
“Maybe she’d come back?” Simon mused.
Emily chuckled. “Firstly, Marcus would never have her. You’d lose your biggest client if Olivia even stepped foot in the office again. Secondly, she’s not getting on a plane.”
“True,” Simon agreed. “Maybe I could hire a replacement who looks like me and she’d never have to know?”
Emily laughed. “Oh, yeah, that would totally work.”
He took his glasses off and offered them to her. “Can you do a British accent?”
She ignored the proffered spectacles and picked up her cup instead. “I already have a job that keeps me more than busy.”
“What are you going to do?” Simon asked.
She sipped her drink and offered a light shrug. “No idea.”
“Ah, you’re in the early stages. Stage two, you know there is a problem, but you’re not quite sure whether you’ll bother dealing with it.” He nodded sagely and put his glasses back on. “I’m in stage four. I know there’s a problem and I know I need to deal with it but I’m too much of a coward to bother.”
“What’s stage three?” Emily asked.
“Knowing there is a problem and feeling guilty about it, but hiding it from your partner.” He looked at her knowingly.
“I’m not hiding it exactly,” Emily denied. “More… unable to find the time to talk about it.”
“You talk, like, eight times a day.”
“More like five,” she corrected. “But it’s in spurts. You can’t have a meaningful conversation when the stage manager is staring at you because you said the words ‘saggy breasts’ too loudly.”
“Tell me about it…” He shook his head. “If I had a penny…”
She laughed loudly, not caring that the other customers were looking at her. This was what she needed. Support and distraction. Ridiculous conversation and laughter. She needed to forget about distance and possible stalkers.
She knew she’d have to deal with things eventually, but it felt so nice to have a night away from it all. Even if she knew she’d have to deal with it soon, now she could take a breath.
“You don’t have to walk me back to the hotel,” Emily said half-heartedly.
Even so, they walked arm in arm along the cobbled street leading to the hotel. Nicole had found one that was near the theatre but off the beaten track.
Emily was constantly surprised by the contrasts within London. One moment she was walking along a busy road with hundreds of people vying for space. A few seconds later she could be on a road that came straight out of a Dickens novel. Cobbled streets, tall, Victorian buildings, and not a soul in sight.
Despite feeling that her new hotel was safe and away from any unwanted flower deliveries, she was pleased to have Simon walking with her down the quiet street. Not that she wanted to admit that to him.
“It’s fine,” Simon assured her. “Besides, the streets of London are rough at night. You need a man.”
She burst out laughing. “And when is this man going to arrive?”
He tried to look offended, but his grin was too wide. “Hey, I’ll have you know I went to the gym last month.”
“Wow, I thought I could see muscles through your work shirt. But I thought it was one of those padded Superman costumes kids wear for Halloween,” she joked.
“Nah, that’s at the cleaners. This is all me. I’m buff now. Here to protect fair maidens.”
“Was there alcohol in your coffee? Because you’re not buff, I’m not a fair maiden, and these streets are safer than New York.”
“Maybe it’s just an excuse because I’ve missed you,” he said honestly.
She leaned against his side. “I’ve missed you, too. We’ll have to make sure we put some time aside to see each other more often before I get a job in New York. I really had fun tonight.”
“Me too. We’ll make sure we set something up soon.”
They approached the hotel entrance, and Simon looked up at the signage.
“Nice. Not Olivia nice, but nicer than that place in King’s Cross.”
“Don’t remind me of that place.” She shivered at the memory. “Don’t remind me of that time at all. And it may not be Olivia nice, but it’s good enough for me.”
He gave her a wink. “Well, if you don’t mind roughing it.”
They exchanged a farewell hug and said their goodbyes. Ever the gentleman, Simon waited outside as she walked into the lobby. Once she got into the elevator, he waved before turning and leaving.
Her mind was full of their conversation. Simon’s fear of being a father and his dislike for his new job made her wonder if she should break her promise and confide in Olivia. She knew that Olivia would solve the work problem in a flash. Most of Simon’s issue was feeling beholden to Olivia, but Olivia would never want to see him unhappy.
She shook her head as she stabbed the elevator button. She couldn’t tell Olivia even though she knew it was the right thing to do. Simon wanted to keep it between them, and she had to respect that. He’d sort things out in his own time. Just as she would manage to sort out her problems in her own time.
She pulled out her key card and walked down the softly lit corridor to her room.
She passed the key card over the sensor and a green light glowed on the panel, granting her access. She opened the door and turned on the light with her elbow as her hands were full.
It was then that she stepped onto a piece of paper. She frowned and looked down at it in confusion. She bent down to pick up the note that had clearly been pushed under the door while she was out.
She walked into the room and allowed the door to close behind her. She unfolded the note and instantly felt her stomach churn. It wasn’t a note from the hotel as she had been expecting.
* * *
Did you like my flowers? I can’t wait to see you at the theatre on Thursday, so we can finally be together. Don’t be scared. We are perfect for each other and you will see that soon.
* * *
She stumbled back into the room, the note dropping from her fingers to the floor, sitting with heavy menace on the soft carpet. She reached into her pocket and called Simon, hoping that he hadn’t already gone underground to get the train home.
After a couple of rings, he answered.
“Simon, I… can you come back to the hotel? T-there’s this… this note. And I don’t know what to do. I’m—”
“What’s your room number?” Simon asked.
“402.”
“I’ll be there in a couple of minutes; don’t go anywhere.”
She had no intention of leaving. She could barely keep herself upright, never mind figure out how to open the door and leave.
