“Stay away from my daughter you evil witch? I might’ve let you scare me away last time, but since you’re a mother yourself who claims a great love for your son, you would know that there aren’t any lengths I wouldn’t go to-to protect my child.
I would never let that woman have my child. It must really burn the two of you up that he’s with me and Mia. Well you know what, I might’ve been stupid before, but not this time.
I’m really glad I got this chance to see what you’ve done to him, or tried to do. He’s nothing like the person I loved, it took me a while to figure it out, but you tried to turn him into you.
But guess what, I love him enough to stay and fight this time, to see that that doesn’t happen.
Now kindly get out of my way, I don’t want to be here a minute longer.”
“Not so fast...”
I’d heard enough and pushed the door open. “You cold hearted bitch get the fuck away from her.”
Mom ran over to me, tears at the ready. “Oh thank heavens you’re here son, you heard her then? She’s been saying the most horrible things...”
“I’m talking to you not her you bitch, what the fuck did you do to her?” I pushed her away from me willing myself to calm the fuck down before I gave myself an aneurysm.
My heart was pumping and my blood was up. Never in my wildest dreams have I ever imagined a day would come that I would want to strangle my own mother.
I was never as mad as I was in that moment. Mad, hurt and fucking lost for all of ten seconds.
She tried hugging me or turning my face to hers, I wasn’t sure what it was she was trying to do, and neither did I care; again I pushed her away from me.
“Back the fuck off.” She looked at me like I’d slapped her, which I was pretty fucking close to doing.
“Come here Zania.” I held my arm out to her and she came. A little tentatively, but she came.
It all made sense now, the pieces of the puzzle that I couldn’t fit together.
Why a girl who I knew down to my soul loved me, had left me for no reason, without a word of warning.
Oh yes, it was all falling neatly into place now. Like that one night coming onto the end when I’d stayed inside her for hours.
I remember it now, the way she had clutched at me, the hunger that was inside her as we rolled around on the bed together. I’d never seen her that hungry, that desperate for me.
And the tears, the tears I’d mistaken for tears of joy, because that hadn’t been the first time she’d cried in my bed. But always before it was because she was so happy that we’d found each other.
Then the next day she was gone. No note, no explanation, nothing. Just everything that was hers, gone, leaving me only with the memory of her face.
I took that face in my hands now and saw it all in her eyes. I hurt for her, for what she must’ve gone through dealing with this monster.
I felt so much love and hate in that moment, hate for a mother who had deceived me, and love for the woman whom I’d falsely accused of doing the same.
“Why didn’t you tell me what she was doing to you baby, why? Why did you let me go on hating you when...?”
My mind replayed everything I’d done since she came back. I felt sick to my stomach at the way I had treated her, someone I had once sworn to love.
I pulled her face into my chest and held her there as I kicked myself in the ass. I knew it, all along something inside me had known.
“Oh fuck, have you any idea how I feel right now? I struck you, I wanted to destroy you to make you hurt as much as I...” I turned to the room’s other occupant.
“You, get the fuck away from my family and stay way. You ever go anywhere near her or my kid again I’ll have you arrested. Get out of my sight...”
“But son, I only did what I thought was best.” She clutched the pearls around her throat and I thought, ‘what a clichéd fucking thing to do’.
“I’m not your son. You almost cost me my fucking daughter not to mention what you did to my woman. Now get out and tell that other viper to look over her shoulder because she’s next.
I might draw the line at decking you because you played a part in my being here, but I have no loyalty to her. She’s fucked.”
“Cord you can’t.”
“Right now you barely stand a chance of surviving this shit, stick around and you won’t, I guarantee it.” My voice was cold and low as I glared at her with all the hate I’d once held for Zania.
“You disgust me. How could you have watched me suffer for so long, thinking the worse about her, doubting my own judgment?
You subjected me to five years of tasteless, baseless mediocrity with that plastic toxic bitch you picked out because of her fucking bank statement, as if I needed it.
But you know what your absolute worst crime was? Not only did you cost me the woman I love, you cost me six years, six years of happiness with my wife and kid.
Get out and don’t set foot at Helmsworth Enterprise again or I’ll have you arrested for that as well. We’re through.”
“You can’t cut me out of the business that business has been in this family for generations.”
“That’s right the Helmsworth family, you married into this family I was born into it remember? And as the president I say you’re no longer welcomed.” I turned my back on her until I heard her making her way to the door.
I turned and watched the woman I’d trusted more than any other human being alive leave my home a dejected shell of herself, and I felt nothing, nothing but hate and a taste for vengeance.
“Cord, I don’t think...”
“Kill it, it’s done; nothing you can say can make me feel any different about the situation. And you should’ve come to me you should’ve trusted me. Why the fuck didn’t you?”
“I couldn’t, I was so confused, and everything they said seemed to make sense at the time. Then when she involved my grandmother I knew that she wouldn’t stop until she got her way.”
“I’ll let you off the hook only because I know how scary she can be, but if you’re ever that fucking stupid again I’ll tan your ass.”
She laughed, like really laughed for the first time since she’d been back. It was the first time I’d heard that sweet sound in six years.
“Don’t laugh. I’m not joking.” I tried to play the heavy but inside my heart was doing cartwheels.
“I’m not laughing I promise.”
“Liar. Don’t expect me to just forgive you for not trusting me either, for letting them destroy what we had.”
“I didn’t know what else I could do at the time. Like you said, your mother can be very formidable, and I was afraid of what she would do to my grandmother.”
I pulled her in close and held her, and all that pent up love I had inside crept out and into the kiss I gave her.
There was so much said in that one shared kiss, so much that was hard to put into words.
I released her mouth when we both needed to come up for air. I didn’t speak for the first five minutes, and neither did she.
We both just stood there basking in our newfound freedom to hold each other like this with no barriers.
“I’m sorry she did that to you my princess, and I promise you that I’ll make it up to you. But the fact still remains, you fucked up. You were in a relationship with me, not with my mother; you should’ve come to me.”
“I know that now but at the time she was so convincing, they were so convincing.”
“About that, how does Camille play into all this?” I walked her backwards towards the couch and pulled her down onto my lap.
With my hand resting protectively over my child in her womb, I pulled her head back on my shoulder.
“Your mom introduced us. At first, I thought she was trying to hook me up with a friend since I didn’t really know anyone in your circle.
Then she started dropping these hints about you two, your mother I mean. Pretty soon Camille had joined in and I was starting to become confused
.
Things started to become blurry, but still I didn’t give in. I couldn’t bring myself to believe that you were cheating on me with her.
When she saw that it wasn’t working I guess your mom decided to pull off the mask of pretense and show her true colors.
That’s when she told me and showed me that she had all this information about my family. I hadn’t even shared most of that with you, not because I was ashamed, but because I was so happy for the first time in my life that I didn’t want anything to spoil it.
When I was with you, I didn’t cry myself to sleep worrying about my sick grandmother that I couldn’t help, or the fact that we didn’t have much.
I just wanted you; that’s all. But she twisted everything and convinced me that she could get you to see things the way she did.
She said I was only after you for your money and that all she had to do was show you what she’d learned and there’s no way you wouldn’t believe that I wasn’t a gold digger.”
“Did I hear you tell her that you never cashed that check?”
“I didn’t.”
“Why not?” I kissed her forehead as the sweetness of what all of this meant went through me.
“I just couldn’t that’s all, because it felt as if I did that, it would somehow make her right.”
“And your grandmother, I wasn’t paying much attention the last time we met, is she still sick?”
“She’s in remission thank heavens, but I’m always afraid of the sickness coming back you know. Still I would never have cashed that check.”
My mother had to have known that she hadn’t cashed that check. If there’s one thing I know about my mother it’s that she’s very meticulous when it comes to money.
Which meant that even had she believed that Zania was a money grubbing bitch that would’ve proven to her that she was wrong.
Wouldn’t any mother who really loved her son be pleased by that? Wouldn’t she then admit her mistake and try to fix the mess that she’d made?
Instead she’d fed my hate. My guts burned at the memory of all she’d done and said in those early days after Zania had left.
It’s funny, but I don’t think as mad as I had been at her back then, that I could’ve done any of the things I imagined doing to her; too bad for my mother and her little helper that I don’t feel the same about them.
“You almost destroyed me.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I was suffering too, in the first few weeks I thought I was going to die.
Then I found out I was pregnant and I was so happy, after I got over being scared out of my wits.
I’d had to leave school that was one of your mom’s conditions. I couldn’t stay there because you would obviously have known where to find me. I could’ve applied somewhere else, but by then grandma was worse and I had no choice.
I would’ve had to go home anyway when it was all said and done because she needed me.
So there were no prospects for the bright future I’d envisioned for myself, and with a new baby coming I knew only fear for the first couple of weeks.
But then gran helped me to see things different. I’d told her all about you and she helped me to see that I would have a little piece of you for always; that the baby was a blessing and not a curse.”
I let her talk it out never interrupting. I’m sure she had no idea that she was digging my mother’s grave deeper with each word.
“You do understand why I couldn’t contact you though right, I was terrified that your mom or that Camille person were going to take my baby away from me. But I missed you everyday.”
I pulled her head back and looked down at her, ready to forgive all even though I was pissed that she hadn’t come to me back then. So much could’ve been avoided.
“Just one thing, did you really not know that you were carrying my child when you let them run you off?”
“No, I promise I didn’t; had I known, maybe I would’ve fought harder to stay. Do you forgive me for being so stupid?”
“Honestly, I’m pissed as fuck at you. I’ll deal with those two later, but you, you did more harm than they did.”
I could see by the way she tried to pull away from me that she didn’t agree but that was too bad.
She’d called the shots for the last six years, and made all the wrong plays.
“You don’t get it do you? You were the one who owed me your loyalty. We hadn’t known each other that long but we knew enough.
We made promises to each other. Do you know what you did by running off? You showed your lack of faith and trust in my ability to keep you safe, to protect you.
In doing so, you robbed me of my child; it’s going to take me a long time to get over that one.
Like I said, they bear a huge part of the blame, but baby you fucked up more. Don’t cry, I’m not saying that I don’t understand. I just want you to know my views on the whole mess. This way you won’t let that shit happen again.”
She buried her head in my neck and cried like her heart was breaking. I could think of no other way to calm her down than by putting her beneath me.
I think we both needed that connection, needed to feel alive in each other’s arms.
I wasn’t as gentle as I probably should be when I tore at her clothes, or when I surged up inside her.
“ Look at me.” I pulled her head back to ensure that she did. “You told my...that female that you loved me, is that true?” She swallowed and tried to turn her head but I held it in place.
“Answer me Zania.” I stroked in and out of her slowly while looking into her eyes. I know she could see all that I felt for her written there. “Tell me.”
“Yes, I do, I don’t think I ever stopped, though I came close a time or...” I covered her mouth with mine to end her words.
“I love you too sweet Zania, with everything I’ve got. I’ll never let you leave me again not fucking ever. You’re mine and you’re going to stay mine, all of you.” I put my hand on her still flat stomach as I fucked into her.
Chapter 20
CORD
I didn’t tell her anything about my plans after we left for home, but my mind hadn’t stopped working since I’d walked up to that door and got the shock of my life.
As I stood in the doorway of our new home looking at my daughter run to meet me, I made up my mind to do whatever it took to keep her safe from now on, both of them.
I’d been as much to blame as Zania was for what happened to us I realized. We’d both failed our daughter, her by believing my mother’s bullshit lies, and me for doing the same after the fact.
I should never have let her go in the first place, and now as I look back, I see that I had given in too easily, never again.
“Get Mia dressed to go out Zania it’s time she met her grandfather.” There was no point in putting anything off any longer.
I had her love now, and there were no longer any questions left between us. I could go ahead and do what I’d started all those years ago. Once again I ran my finger over her ring in my pocket as I thought of the best time to give it to her, but first things first.
“But your mom said...”
“Please don’t mention her to me again, and if you must you may call her by her name. I’m beginning to think that everything out of her mouth is a lie, including this.
It’s probably just another one of her power plays. But now that I’m thinking clearly, I don’t see why learning that he has a granddaughter should make him sick.”
I was pretty sure of the outcome once I laid things out for dad. At least I was hoping for a certain outcome. I know my mother’s only weakness is money.
I also know that the best way to hurt her was to cut off her supply or at least cut it down tremendously.
Had it only been Zania and I who had been hurt, I might have found an ounce of compassion for my...Joy, if not for Camille. But for what they cost my daughter, there was no fucking way.
I headed to my office to make a quick call while she went
off to get our daughter changed. I wasn’t going to let the sun go down without making them pay.
The phone rang three times before it was answered and I just got right to it. “I want the loan called on the Le Chic gallery downtown.”
“You mean the Foster place, but?”
“No questions just make sure it’s done before end of business today.”
“Consider it done.” I made a few more calls on that end to make sure that the job was a thorough one, by the time I was through, I would’ve fucked up a few dreams. That’ll teach them to fuck with me and mine.
One down one more to go! Camille loves that place. She’d sunk everything she had into its opening three years ago, and it was barely starting to creep into the black.
She can’t afford to pay that loan, which means she’d lose it and I just made a move that would make it next to impossible for her family to offer her more than a roof over her head if they didn’t want to feel my wrath.
That was just the beginning though, for every fucking year that my daughter was sick without me there to hold her like a dad should, I was going to make her ass pay in one way or another.
I made note of the date; maybe I’d make it an annual thing until the time was up.
Now for my dad’s wife! I thought back to every time I thought she was being a concerned mother. The times I was grateful to her and went so far as to praise her for her care of me.
When all along she was the cause of it all. I know she has a sickness, I see that now. And the only way to protect my family from her venom was to cut her off completely.
I got the ball rolling with Helmsworth Enterprise, the company that she took so much pride in; the one that I have been in control of for the past two years.
It didn’t take much effort to move things around the way I wanted. She had no real say in the running of the company, other than as my dad’s wife and the respect that afforded her.
Two phone calls later and she was on the do not resuscitate list. That wasn’t enough though, mother or not, what she’d done was beyond fucked and I’ve always believed the punishment should fit the crime.
With my mind set, I went in search of the two of them. “My girls ready?” I liked the way her eyes lit up when I couldn’t resist kissing her lips, which more than pleased our daughter.
His Secret Child Page 14
