by Xyla Turner
“Well, I’m not entirely comfortable with you covering the bill. So let’s just pay our part and we’ll see how the evening progresses to see if dancing is in the cards.”
His face contorted, when he said, “Are you fucking kidding? You’re with me. You won’t pay for shit and the evening will go just fine.”
That was said with steely and resolute determination. God help the man or woman who tried to stand in his way of making the evening go by with anything but fine. I quickly pressed my lips together again and picked up the menu. Nothing stuck out, so I asked, “What are you getting?”
“Leg of lamb with asparagus.”
“Fine, I’ll get the same.”
“Good! What kind of wine?”
“Something red.”
He smiled at me, then said, “Good choice.”
As we progressed through the meal, talking about our childhoods, recent events, his lack of siblings and my only brother. We laughed, joked and actually had fun. When he was not bossy, he was actually quite comical. I had yet to ask him about his career choice, but that was the huge elephant in the room, that both of us danced around all evening. Once we were finished our food, including dessert, we left and both had doggie bags. The leg of lamb was not only huge, but delicious. It was my first time eating it and I was hooked.
As Ryan promised, after we left the restaurant, he drove us to Club XX where Biggie’s Hypnotize was blasting in the warehouse on the north side of Brooklyn. It was the most diverse set of people I’d ever seen at a club. White, Asian, Hispanic, Black and every other nationality was present in this warehouse and everybody was dancing with everyone. My mouth must have been open because Ryan closed it with his forefinger and thumb.
“What?” He asked.
“Nothing, this place is huge.”
“Yeah, it’s very popular in Brooklyn and it’s drug-free. I would not want to have to arrest anyone on my night off.” He laughed.
“Hmm,” I murmured as I did not find that funny at all.
His arms wrapped around me, so my front was to his.
“What’s wrong?” He asked me again.
“Noth…”
Janet Jackson’s, All For You, came on interrupting my lie of nothing being wrong. I yelled in his face, “This is my song!”
I broke from him and started strutting to the intro in the midst of the crowd. My smile had to be off the radar as I recited the words and danced with my hands up. When I turned around, Ryan was smiling and dancing with his hands up as well. I turned around and backed into him, his arm clamped around my waist as I danced in his cocoon. Then I pushed off him and moved around him, whirling my hips and mouthing, it’s all for you. Eventually, he grabbed me and pulled me to him as we both danced together. When I tried to push away from him, he pulled me back, so I wrapped my arms around his neck and sang, soon you’ll be having fun…it’s all for you…come over here and get some in his ear. His grip tightened around my waist and I felt his lips on my neck, then his teeth.
Oh shit.
I kept singing in his ear as he swayed us to the song until it switched to another fast beat song. We kept dancing, while he feasted on me. He was marking me. I should have been mad, but I loved it. Being marked by him. Once he loosened, I pulled away while still holding his hands and danced. His gray eyes were like that of a wolf’s; sharp, focused and all on me. I felt like his prey and that was hot as shit. A reggae song came on and I buried my ass into his crotch and started to gyrate all around him. The white man could dance because not only did he keep up but he smacked my ass to urge me on. At one point, the people around us were cheering us on, as I dipped low to grab my ankles, while shaking my assets for him to enjoy.
When that song finally changed, they announced it was for the lovers. Ryan pulled me to him, so I buried my face in his chest, while he wrapped his arms around me with both hands resting on my ass. He whispered in my ear, “I want you D’asia.”
My response was to squeeze his middle tighter, then he said, “No, I want you for keeps.”
He would get no response for that because I didn’t know what to say. We still didn’t know each other, still hadn’t really spent time and he had all these declarations and wants and shit. I was trying to finish school, get Zee out of high school, and get us both out the projects. A man was not in the picture, until I could get out of my situation. And a damn, white cop was not in the picture as well. I guess it should not matter that he was white or a cop, but in my world - both of those mattered. We didn’t live in Brooklyn on the prosperous side, where interracial couples were welcomed and encouraged. Like this club. We lived in the projects and white was a negative. A cop was even worse. That could put us in danger. People would think we were snitches or worse, sleeping with him to get information. Oh, hell no. There would be no declarations from me.
“Relax, sweetness.” He squeezed me tighter.
Shit, my mind wandering, must have caused me to tense up. I relaxed a little, then he said, “I’m willing to settle for one day at a time, starting with tonight.”
My lips remained closed as there were no more words to be shared in my opinion. After another hour of dancing, sweating and gyrating to ensure he was in the mood. He must have had enough because he tagged my hand and damn neared pulled me out of there. I was teetering behind him, in my four-inch heels, so I yelled, “Slow down.”
He turned around, picked me up in his arms and carried me out of the club.
“Ryan, put me down.” I giggled.
“You’re walking too slow.” He kept moving.
“Oh my God.” I sighed and wrapped my arm around his neck.
When we reached his car, he put me down and pressed his body against me fully.
“Zee is sleeping over the Henrys?” He asked.
“Yeah,” I breathed as his breath caressed mine along with the scent of arousal resting between us.
Pulling on his ears, he nuzzled his nose into my neck.
“Come back to my place. I’ll bring you home in the morning, okay?”
“Okay.”
He looked up into my eyes and asked, “Okay?”
“Okay.” I smiled back at him.
Maybe he figured I would say no, but I had come all of this way, had the night of my life and everything. There was no way I would miss the ride in the pumpkin because of that.
“Let’s go.” he said and I moved away from the car, so he could open the door.
“Get your fucking hands up now.” A gruff voice said through grated teeth.
I turned to see a guy in a ski mask and a gun pointed at Ryan.
Oh. My. God.
My mind was trying to catch up with what was happening. We were in a dark alley, but I didn’t think anything of it because I was with Ryan. We were also on the fairly good side of Brooklyn, but I was with Ryan, so …
“I said, get your fucking hands up.”
My eyes moved to Ryan to see his hands were up. He was calm. I was not.
“Now,” the man barked.
“Babe, get your hands up.” Ryan told me.
Slowly, I raised them in the air, then he barked, “Turn around and put them in the car.”
Ryan was the first to put his hands on the car and I followed his lead. In my peripheral, I could see the gun was pointed at Ryan’s head. My knees felt wobbly and I thought I was going to go down, but I didn’t want to make any sudden movements because he might think I was trying to do something. My chest was rising and falling at quicker than normal speeds and my breath fogged up the side door window. I closed my eyes to concentrate and not buckle because my knees were getting weaker by the second.
I think the man was searching for Ryan’s wallet, when I heard a thud. The first thing I thought was he found his wallet and hit him with the gun. Then I heard tussling as a piece of metal hit the ground. Opening my eyes, I saw, Ryan punching the guy in the face. Not once, not twice, but three times.
“Ryan,” I screamed.
He hit him again and l
et him go. The man dropped. He went down with him and I ran to him, “Ryan,” I was screaming at the top of my lungs because he did not seem to hear me.
“Ryan!!!” I grabbed his arm as he pulled back.
He turned around with wide eyes, then he blinked the haze away.
“Grab my phone out the glove compartment and hold the three button until it dials. Ask for Sal and tell him to come to Club Double X.” he commanded.
I started to back away yet trying to keep a watchful eye on him, just in case he tried to hit the unconscious man again. Once I made the call, ten minutes later, a single patrol car rode up and the guy from the other night, jumped out and went to Ryan and the unconscious guy across the street. I was leaning against the car because it was holding me up. Ryan was trying to get me to come to him, but I was not moving and he did not want to leave the guy. He simply stared at me, while I looked everywhere but at him.
The guy, Sal, came over to take my statement, which I gave him exactly what happened then he asked if I wanted to go down to the precinct. I shook my head. It was eleven at night, I did not want to spend all night in a jail. The ambulance came fifteen minutes later and took the guy, who did start moving around after a while. That made me feel better.
“She wants to go home and not the precinct,” Sal said to Ryan.
He turned to look at me and the look on my face, must have communicated, I needed that. Then he said, “I’ll take her home.”
“What?” Sal said, “You live in Queens. I’ll ride her back.”
“No, my car isn’t marked.” Ryan clarified.
“No, I’ll take a cab.” I gathered my purse from off the ground. “That will be better.”
“The fuck it won’t.” Ryan started moving towards me.
I whirled around to him and snapped, “The fuck it will.”
He was in my space, but I was not backing down.
“Ryan.” Sal called. “Come on man, let her take the cab if she wants.”
“Fuck no.” He kept his eyes on me, but was talking to both of us. “I’m taking you home.”
“No, I don’t want you taking me home. I’d rather catch a cab,” I said with measured patience.
“Ryan,” Sal called. “She’s shaking like a fucking leaf, man. She’s rattled. Let her go.”
He was now next to him and we all were in each other’s space. Ryan shook his head at me, then looked at my trembling hands. When he reached down to take them, I jerked them from him and took a step back. He looked up at me but I was looking at his right hand. Covered in another man’s blood and bruised. Ryan looked down and cursed.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, D’asia.” He shook his head. “Sorry you had to see that.”
A cab pulled in front of the club and let a couple out. I backed up and waved my hand to signal that I was catching it. Then I walked quickly, towards the waiting car.
“D’asia, wait.” He called.
Nearly running on my wobbly legs, I made it and hopped in. When I dared a glance out the window, Sal was pushing Ryan back. I yelled to the cab to pull off. He took one look at the man trying to get to the car and screeched off.
Thirty dollars later, I was home and turning on the shower to wash away my almost perfect evening.
Almost.
D’asia
Sleep did not come easy for me last night. Even at eleven in the morning, I was still lying in bed with no intentions of getting up. Around one in the afternoon, Zee came home and found me still in bed. He figured I was sick, made some soup from the can and brought it to me.
After another hour of wallowing around and reeling about the events from the night before, I decided to read a little. Xyla Turner had a new series going, League of Bosses, so I figured that would be my outlet. Immerse myself in the fictional world and get away. Unfortunately, that did not work for too long. Ryan kept invading my mind. His crazed look and masterfully executed blows to the guy’s face would not let me concentrate. I turned my phone off because I really did not want to talk. I simply needed to process what I saw and what that meant.
Aunt Birdie always talked about seeing the red flags in people before it was too late. Ryan looked like he could have killed the man. To top that, he was a police officer. And more importantly, if he was to get that upset and zone out hurting someone or me like that. That was plain scary.
On Tuesday, after class I stayed around to talk with the professor. Ryan’s cousin was present that day, but I really did not want to have small talk with him. When I finally left, I saw a patrol car right outside the front doors and leaning on it was Ryan with a bouquet of long-stemmed pink sunflowers. He pushed off the car and made his way towards me.
“D’asia,” he extended the flowers.
I stared at them for a beat, not really sure if I should take them or cut my losses.
“Look, that’s unnecessary.” I nodded. “Actually, I should be thanking you for the other night and stepping in like you did.”
“No, that’s not necessary.” He extended the elegant flowers again.
I did not take them.
“Look,” I made a side step away from him. “This was great and all, but I just don’t think we are ready for that next level. I had a really good time with you until the incident, but that’s just not something I can ignore.”
“What are you saying?” the flowers lowered.
“That it was great, but let’s call it.” I took another step in the opposite direction.
“Can we discuss this?” His gray eyes bore into mine. “Let’s actually discuss what is best for us instead of you making an irrational decision about us.”
“It’s not irrational. It’s very logical.” I snapped.
“How so?”
“We are two different people, at two different places in life.”
“No.” He walked closer. “You saw something that scared you the other night, but instead of addressing it like a grown up, you’ve decided to run from it like a child.”
“Excuse me,” my neck became hot at his allegations.
“You heard me.” He was towering over me.
“I must have heard wrong,” I snapped.
Instead of engaging with him, I turned and walked away. He was right on my heels as I headed towards the train.
“I told you about that train and going home late by yourself. I’ll take you home or follow your ass all the way there”
“Just leave me alone,” I urged. “I didn’t ask for any of this.”
“Well, you got it.” His long strides put him in front of me as I kept trying to sideswipe him.
“Ryan, you are in uniform. The last thing you need is someone thinking you are harassing a black woman on the street.”
“Ask me if I give one fuck.” He cornered me near a gate. “I’m trying to have a conversation with my girl, who won’t fucking talk to me. Anybody can see that.”
His girl?
Oh boy.
I sighed. “I’m not your girl. Okay?” I tried to move away from the gate, but he blocked me. “Please move.”
“I’m not moving until we discuss this like adults.” His eyes bore into mine, like he was searching my soul.
“Then, let’s set an appointment to discuss this like adults. I need to get home and take care of business and you are holding me up.”
“I’ll take you home.” His voice softened.
“No.”
“Fuck!” He banged on the gate, causing me to jump.
He looked at me again, then he said, “Are you afraid of me?”
I didn’t answer. Well, wouldn’t answer.
“I’d never hurt you.”
“That’s what they all say.” I murmured.
“What?” He backed up a bit. “You think I would hurt you.”
“The way you beat that man on the street. Like there was no compassion in you at all. You looked like a fucking machine, Ryan. Yes, that scares me. If you want me to be honest.”
“He had a gun pointed at you. He was about to t
ouch you and take something from you. He can have my shit, but not you.” He shook his head in disgust. “That will never happen on my watch. The gun on me was one thing, the gun on you… I’m sorry, D’asia. Sorry you had to see that, but I will put a man down for fucking with you. That’s just how it goes.”
I stared at him for a minute. Nobody and I meant nobody ever took my back like that. Kash protected me as in nobody messed with me because of what I did for him. This was a consequence of something that I did for him first. I doubt he’d put a man down for me. Not that I wanted anyone to go down, but there was something about the fact that Ryan would, that made my heart warm. It made me feel safe and reckless at the same time. He did that without me doing anything.
“I didn’t see the gun pointed at me.” I replied as I looked into his confused gray eyes.
“Because your eyes were closed.” He took a step forward. “They were squeezed shut and you were scared. I can’t have that, D’asia. I won’t have that.”
“Oh,” I murmured.
“Can we talk about this?” He asked as he invaded my space again but this time his nose was rubbing against my cheek.
“I really have to get home to Zee, right now. Can we set up a time?”
“I’m working doubles the next few days, but Friday and Saturday evenings are better for me. Like last week.” He bit my earlobe. “I do have a two-hour break tomorrow, if you want to grab some lunch.”
His hand was trailing my lower back and kept descending to my ass. He squeezed it, causing me to fall on him with my hands on his chest. All sorts of emotions and feelings were coursing through my body with his simple touch.
“Lunch?” I asked. “What kind?”
“Whatever kind you want.”
My right hand slid up to his neck as my fingers wrapped around the back, when I said, “Well, it’s not unusual for a cop to come to The Trap. So, how about I cook you lunch. I can make a mean spaghetti with garlic bread.”
Ryan’s head pulled back as he looked at me with interest.
“Are you serious?” he asked.
“Yes.” My other hand crept up to grab the back of his neck.
“What’s for dessert?” He smirked.
