by Xyla Turner
A smile was already plastered on my face as she talked about Mr. Henry. Then when she asked if he made me feel safe, it widened. “Oh yes. He does not play when it comes to my safety. I thought it was just an occupational habit or what he’s seen on the job, but it’s just him.”
“Oh good. I love that for you. In this crazy world and your life thus far, you need someone to watch your back.”
Tears panged the back of my eyes. That was exactly how he made me feel, like he had my back. This police officer, who I just met.
“Alpha, huh?” I laughed in an attempt to regain my composure.
“Yes, I know all about them and girl, girl. It’s good too.” She raised her eyebrows at me.
I put my head down. Mrs. Henry was cool and all, but I was not at the place to talk to her about sex and especially not thinking about her and Mr. Henry. Although, he was a major catch. All the women talked about him, wishing ‘he leave his Nita’ is what they’d say. That man wasn’t going anywhere and neither was she. They knew what they had and that was good.
Friday came faster than I expected. Thanks to Mrs. Henry, I already had an outfit and about to get ready. Or so I thought, until I received the call.
“Ms. Carey,” a woman stated.
“Yes, this is she.”
“We have a Zeke Carey at the 81st Precinct. He was picked up for attempted robbery. Since he’s a minor, can you please come down to the station?”
My breath had left my body and I was no longer able to remain standing. As I slowly slid into the couch next to the phone, I realized my eyes were unfocused, my head was pounding and my dry mouth was parched.
“Ms. Carey?” the sterile woman called. “Ms. Carey.”
I tried to say something, but nothing came out.
It was just me.
Just me. Trying to provide for him. Trying to make ends meet. Our mother was on drugs. She left us to fin for ourselves, so she could feed her demon and I was twenty-fucking-three. I was not living my life of a single woman, I was living the life of a single parent. A guardian and this motherfucker was making it harder. I loved Zee with all my heart, but I could not handle the letdown. It felt personal. While he was out there trying to be in with people who would never amount to anything, I was busting my ass, on welfare, to keep a roof over our heads, so that he could have a chance. I felt like giving up. Telling them to keep his ass there. Maybe the injustice judicial system could teach him a lesson. Since our drug-addicted mother could not. How I had to come in on men in his room, high out their minds. They would have taken either him or me if the knife I carried with me at all times was not present. The crazy thing was Mr. Henry taught me how to use that sucka. I could wield a blade too. One guy had the opportunity to find out, but Zee. He’d never feel that pain under my watch. I wanted him to have a chance and he was fucking up, despite people trying to help him.
I couldn’t.
I wouldn’t.
Why was he doing this to me?
Hopelessness set in my spirit. I felt like there was no way out of our situation. He would fall prey to the streets and I would fall into the system. There was no escaping the hood. No leaving the remnants of it behind us. Why go to school? Why try to better myself? Why send him to get his education? What was the point? All of this was for nothing and I was a mouse, chasing a wives tail. I would never get off the treadmill of this life. And there was no helping me.
“Ma’am?”
“Y-yes.” I croaked as I didn’t even recognize my own voice.
“If it helps, he was in the store, so he went down too. There was nothing on him, but he was there.” She tried to reason.
That did help a little, but I knew that he knew he should not have been there in the first place.
“I’m on my way.” I mumbled as I grabbed my purse.
Once I reached the station, there was no one at the front. It was a damn police station, how could no one be at the front. I rang the bell in small intervals, but then I had enough and kept ringing it consistently. To the point that the bell was hopping off the desk. A few moments later, a red-head came out muttering her apologies and the fact that there was a visiting captain from another division. I could care less who was there to visit.
Once she gave me the information I needed, I was later escorted to the same place I was before. Half of me felt like the Henrys would have been there too, but it was just me.
Thirty minutes later an officer came out to tell me the same thing that the other officer told me over the phone.
“Well, I don’t understand. If he was simply there, why is he going down as an accessory to commit a robbery?” I asked, becoming more and more agitated.
I knew, but I needed it to be proven.
“Well, ma’am.”
“Stop calling me ma’am. My name is D’asia or its Ms. Carey to you.” I was utterly pissed.
“Well, Ms. Carey,” the young cop tried to calm me down. “Zeke was apparently the lookout for the robbery and that means…”
“Did he say he was the lookout?” I raised my voice. “No, I doubt he did and just because he’s a black boy in a damn store.” I stood up. “That does not mean he was an accomplice.” My voice was three times higher than normal.
“D’asia.” I heard a familiar voice firmly call my name.
I spun around and saw Ryan walking towards me at a faster than normal speed.
“What,” I snapped at him. “Zee is locked up because he was in the store.”
“No,” he grabbed me around my arm, moving me further away from the young cop.
His gray eyes pierced into mine when he lifted my chin and said, “He wasn’t arrested because he was in the store. He was being the lookout and that’s why he was gathered with the rest.”
“How do you know?” I was still yelling. “Were you there?”
“Yes, I was the arresting officer.” His voice was low and lethal.
My blood turned cold and deadly. Snatching my arm from out of his strong grip, he took a step into my space. Our noses were practically touching, when he said through gritted teeth, “We’ll talk about this later.”
My eyes narrowed and I leaned into him, saying, “There won’t be a later.”
Then I turned to walk away, but his hand grabbed my arm. “Oh, yes there will be.”
With my head swiveling around to give him the death glare, an authoritative voice called. “Officer McFadden.”
Ryan’s head looked up and a woman decked out in a full tailored uniform, was standing and looking at us weirdly, then turned a stern eye towards Ryan. She looked familiar but I could not place where I’d seen her before.
She walked over to us and said, “Introduce us to your friend.”
Ryan looked at her for a bit, then said, “This is D’asia.”
“Hi D’asia,” she annunciated my name. “How do you know Officer McFadden?”
Her inquiry seemed almost like that of a disapproving mother and not a commanding officer.
“Who are you?” I asked because I didn’t like being outnumbered by cops, but I also didn’t like being interrogated by them either.
“I’m Captain Leslie McFadden, the head of the 71st Division.” She leaned in, so only anyone in the vicinity could hear. “And this here is my son.”
“Mother,” Ryan snapped sharply.
“Yes,” she leaned back up and raised an eyebrow at him.
“Don’t.” He said through gritted teeth.
“Oh, I have only…”
“Listen, I have things to tend to.” I walked around the both of them and caught a glaring black-haired woman in a uniform glowering at me. She was standing directly behind the great Captain.
Rolling my eyes at her, I made my way to the restroom where I proceeded to call Professor Hillman. After explaining the situation to him, he gave me a few people to call and said he would also call the precinct.
Thirty more minutes later, Zee was released to me with a motion to appear in court in a few weeks. Neither of the
McFadden’s were around to spew more of their venom or arrest us, so we made our way home.
“D’asia, I know you’re mad, but I swear these guys are relentless.” Zee pleaded.
“I don’t want to talk about it tonight.”
Which I really did not. My boiling point had already reached an all-time high. Anything I said at that point was bound to be reckless, heartless and inconsiderate.
“But you don’t understand, these guys made me go. I didn’t want to go. Reg ran away, but the guy had me by the neck and made me stand by the door. It’s all for a gang. I told them over and over again. I wasn’t trying to do that. They made me.”
“Zeke,” I yelled. “’I do not want to talk about this shit okay. I’m doing the best I can. You fight these motherfuckers til you can’t anymore or they’ll continue to push you over. What the fuck? I am by myself. I can’t fight your battles and mine. I’ve already taken on more than what I know to do with. All I ask is that you take your ass to school and stay out of fucking trouble. I don’t ask for shit. I ain’t ask for it.”
“D’asia, I swear to GOD!” He yelled. “They made me. I wouldn’t have put myself in that situation after the last time. These niggas are hunting. There is no fighting, when they want you, they go after you.” Tears were running down his eyes. “I swear D’asia. I’m sorry, but I’m telling you. I know you’re doing everything you can.”
“Fine, go get ready for dinner.”
He wiped the tears from his eyes, took two large steps and wrapped his arms around my neck. At first I just stood there, and then he started crying on my shoulder, so I hugged him back. He was really a good kid, but I just couldn’t continue like this.
He broke away and stalked into his room. Almost immediately, my phone rang. It was Mrs. Henry.
“Hey, honey. I heard what happened.” She said in a low voice.
“Yeah, we just got back. Glad Reggie escaped.”
“Well, not really. He wasn’t locked up, but he ran away, so he’s on someone’s list.” She sighed. “So, that means they are on Big Reggie’s list. He’s out now and I’m not sure if he’ll come home.”
“Ohh, don’t worry. Mr. Henry is known by everyone in the neighborhood. He’s highly respected.”
“Honey, these new guys have no respect for anyone.” She did not sound too sure. “I just. I don’t know. Just send a prayer.”
“Yeah, I am. I’m also going to talk to Kash because if I’m so protected, then my family should be as well.”
“Girl, be careful. I know he put you on, but like I said, these new guys have no respect.” Mrs. Henry warned.
“Okay, will do.” I breathed. “Should I send Zee over there early tomorrow for their community service?” I asked.
“No, Reggie is going to swing by and get him at 7:15 AM.” She replied.
“Okay, cool. I’ll let him know.” I nodded. “Thanks again for checking in.”
“Anytime.”
We hung up.
Ryan
“Who is that?” My mom asked in that voice that told me how she felt about that or D’asia.
“She’s a friend,” I said through my teeth.
“She seemed to be more than a friend.” She walked around the desk to sit near me.
“Mother, is there something you need besides knowing who is a friend and who isn’t?”
“Ryan McFadden, Junior. Do not take that tone with me. I came here on official business, to interrupt what looked more like a lover’s quarrel with a woman who was here to pick up her delinquent sibling. Leaving me to assume, their mother and father are not in the picture and she, pray tell, has taken on the role of a guardian. I would venture to make some other assumptions, but why when we already know how this ends. So whatever it is, end it now. She’s not blue-blooded or blue friendly.”
Standing up, to get in her face because I had had enough. “Where do you get off telling me what to do? I’m a grown ass man and you come in here and have the audacity to tell me who I can date and when to end it. That woman,” I pointed towards the door, “is more woman than any of your minions. Every strike you have against her, is the very reason why she’s perfect.” I stood up to my full height as my mom’s eyes were the size of saucers. “Not ‘your’ perfect, of course. But perfect, just the same.”
I stormed out of the room in search for D’asia, but I was informed that she and Zee had already left. When I tried to call, she did not answer. I was going to go over to her place, but knew I was too tired to have the conversation we needed to get out of the way. My arresting Zee was not going to go over well. Shit, I knew that as soon as I saw him standing at the front, looking out. However, there were too many other officers nearby for him to escape without getting caught up. It was surely gang initiation season and we knew the players, but it was like a never ending cycle.
Zee had to get out.
The next day, Reginald Henry dropped off the boys with a glare that I knew only meant I was in hot shit. He did not say anything, but his look said it all. Zee was extra quiet and in solace of his friend, so was Reggie. Therefore, I decided the Malcolm X tour would be a good call and the place where he was assassinated. The sullen boys turned into inquisitive reporters about the amazing Malcolm Little, also known as el-Hajj Malik el-Shabazz. This actually turned the day around, until later.
Once I dropped them off, I kept trying to call D’asia but she would not pick up. I showered, changed my clothes and then I went to her apartment. Taking the elevator, then walking the rest of the way to her floor. I knocked a few times. After several more, the door was opened slightly with the chain still in place.
“D’asia, let me in.” I sighed.
“What do you need Ryan?” She asked leaning against the wall behind the door.
“We gotta talk.”
“No, we’re cool. I get it, so let’s not prolong this process,” she said not looking at me.
All I could see was a sliver of her side profile through the crack in the door.
“D’asia, I’m not having this conversation without being able to see you. So, open the door.”
“Look, Ryan. There’s no need for all of this. Okay, we know how this ends. So, go on,” she said in a bored tone.
“Are you really about to sit there and act like what we’ve started doesn’t mean anything to you? Are you fucking kidding me?” I moved closer to the door, so my face was in his space.
“What?” She snapped, “We fucked, okay. There were a couple of moments, but it’s nothing to write home about.”
“Open the door, before I kick it in.” I said through gritted teeth.
“Ryan, I see…”
I took a step back, then pushed my body against the door once.
“What the fuck?” She exclaimed. “Stop.”
“Then, open this fucking door?” I yelled. “I won’t have this conversation through a chained door.”
She quickly unlatched the door and moved to the side and the table almost fell. I stalked towards her as she crossed her arms over her chest in defense of anything I was about to throw at her.
“You want to end us?” I questioned her as my face was inches from hers.
“Please.” She scoffed. “Mommy dearest will do everything in her power to end it for us.” She said with sarcasm.
“Do. I. Look. Like. I. Am. A. Man. That. Does. What. He’s. Told.” I pronounced each word and put my hand on the wall, right next to her head.
Her face turned, so I took my opportunity to nip her neck.
“Stop,” she hissed.
“So, you want to end us?” I nipped her lip. “We haven’t even started, sweetness.”
“Ryan,” she called my name as she tried to push me away. “We can’t.”
I grabbed her by the wrist and put them on the wall next to her head. Moving my body into hers, I said against her lips, “We can. D’asia. We got this.”
Taking her lips was the only thing I could think of at the time. She fought me for a bit, until she melte
d into my body. There was a tussle of the tongues, merging of the lips and clinging of the teeth. But I took my fill of her. Letting her arms go, I lifted her dress to find that she did not have on any panties. I squeezed her ass, then slapped at her ample globe.
She was perfect.
Her leg lifted, so she could wrap it around my waist. I smacked her ass again and she moaned into my mouth.
Goddamn.
“Is Zee here?” I murmured against her neckline.
“No,” she breathed.
I unbuckled my pants and pulled out my pulsing, hard cock. As I kissed my way back up to her mouth, I said between pecks, “We…end…only…when…we…both…are…in…agreement...got…it?”
She murmured and nodded her head. I picked her up and slid her slowly on me. She was still tight, but more agile. Like she was back in the groove of having sex again. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she squeezed her thighs around my hips to leverage herself up and down on me. Even though she was soaked, she was tight and I felt like I could shoot off at any moment.
I grabbed her by both butt cheeks, so I could control the movements. Slow and deliberate was my only thought when taking her like this. D’asia continued to meet my movements as her hips rolled around meeting my thrusts. Her tongue was sliding up and down my neck, then I felt her teeth. As I gripped her butt, I pushed her against the wall and plunged into her faster.
She screamed in my neck, causing me to go faster.
“Yesss,” she threw her head back onto the wall. “Oh my God Ryan.”
Growling, as I continued to power into her. “Fuck,” I whispered as all of my breath vacated my empty chest.
