Meri was falling through mid-air and it felt great. Her body felt such exquisite passion that she felt she might faint. Before she hit bottom, Daniel moved on top of her and entered her quickly. He was already so turned on by watching her response to his new toy he knew that he would not last long. He pounded into her fast and hard. Soon the two of them were nothing but stars shooting through the sky. Neither of them had ever before experienced such absolute pleasure.
Chapter 5
Meri returned to her classes on Monday. She was happier than she had ever been in her life. She and Daniel were getting closer every day. In her inexperience, it never occurred to her that anything could ever go wrong.
The college was once again asking for student participation, but this time was something entirely different. The medical students were going to be doing vaginal exams and they needed volunteers. Meri was hesitant, but Anna proceeded to talk her into it. The exams would be done with a professor in the room, and if the women wanted, they could ask a friend to be there with them for support. They had set a limit to three exams per woman, and the pay was $100 per exam. Anna planned on making a quick $300.
Meri agreed to participate if Anna would be there for moral support. They agreed that they would support each other, and Meri knew that she could definitely use the money. The two of them signed up together before heading off to their next class.
The day came for the exams, and Meri was a little apprehensive. She had never had this type of exam before, and she wasn’t sure what to expect. Anna had been examined this way before, so she agreed to go first. Meri helped her get undressed and into a gown. They were in a small examining room with a table, light, and instrument tray. Anna giggled as she hopped up on the end of the examining table while Meri helped her cover herself with a sheet. The professor and a student walked into the room and instructed Anna to lay back on the table. They assisted her as she placed her feet into stirrups. The student then lifted the sheet to give him access to Anna’s vagina. The professor stood at the side while the student directed Anna to spread her legs as wide as she could. The student lowered the light and it seemed to Meri that Anna was laying there on display.
The student then told Anna that he would be inserting a speculum inside her. Meri watched as he picked up the speculum from the table and placed it inside Anna’s canal. He then opened the speculum, allowing him to peer inside. He told her to expect a pinch as he took a small wire brush that would be used to collect cells for a pap smear. Once that was complete, the student removed the speculum and placed it on the table. Meri watched as he then took two fingers and placed them deep inside Anna. His free hand was pressing down on Anna’s stomach while he explained to her that he was checking her ovaries for any abnormalities. When he was finished, he replaced the sheet and stepped out of the room.
Because each student must do the exam the proper way, the volunteer had to sit back up on the end of the table and start over. A fresh cart was brought in before the professor and another student entered the room.
Once the students were finished with Anna, she was directed to get dressed. It was now Meri’s time and Anna assisted her with her clothing and the sheet. Meri felt butterflies in the pit of her stomach because of what was about to happen to her. Anna tried to lighten the mood.
“Don’t worry about it,” Anna said. “Think of it as having fun. You are getting paid to allow these medical students to probe around with their fingers inside you. You might even enjoy it!”
Anna held her hand while Meri felt the speculum being inserted into her vagina. After the pinch that followed, Meri felt the student place his two fingers deep inside her. He seemed to be moving around more than they did in Anna.
After the first examination was done, Meri relaxed a bit before the other two. It really wasn’t all that bad, but she wondered why each of the students seemed to take longer with their fingers than they had with Anna. Finally she was told to get dressed and she could go onto her next class.
It was later that week when Meri was summoned to the office of the professor who had overseen the vaginal exams. She had no idea what to expect as she stepped into his office and found a seat. The professor walked from behind the desk and shut the door. When he was once again seated behind his desk, he looked at Meri and asked her if she was pregnant.
Meri had no idea what to expect, but it definitely wasn’t this! The room started to spin as she considered the possibility. She and Daniel had never used protection, but pregnancy had never entered her mind. How was she supposed to answer that question?
“All three of the students who examined you told me they thought you were pregnant,” he said.
Meri was forced to tell him that is was a possibility. Her face was red as she explained to the professor that she had never used birth control because it was her original intention to stay a virgin until she married. Meri suddenly understood why the students had taken longer with her exam.
The professor recommended that Meri either go to the campus physician, or find one of her own. Since the students were not qualified to say she was pregnant, Meri would need an official confirmation. She stood and started for the door, thanking the professor for his advice. As she made her way across campus to the office of the campus doctor, she had a million things going through her mind. She was not concerned about telling Daniel, but how in the world was she ever going to tell her mother?
Anna was not present this time when Meri climbed up on the end of the examining table. Instead, a nurse stood by her side while the doctor did a thorough exam, confirming that she was indeed pregnant.
When Daniel picked her up on Friday, Meri suggested they go to his apartment and order something in. She secretly doubted that she would be able to eat a bite. She knew that Daniel had to be told of the pregnancy, and the sooner she got it over with the better.
Daniel was expecting to enjoy another passionate evening with Meri. Instead, he felt like he had just been hit in the face with a bucket of ice water. Meri was pregnant. He mentally blamed himself. She was inexperienced and had no need for birth control. He knew better, but did nothing about it.
Meri watched as the different expressions went across Daniel’s face. She could tell he was not happy about the pregnancy.
“What do you want to do,” Daniel asked.
“I don’t know,” Meri said. “I’m not sure I could live with myself if I got an abortion.”
“Then you don’t have to. We will work this out together,” Daniel said.
Daniel grabbed Meri and hugged her. He didn’t know yet what they would do, but she was not to blame, and he could not allow her to go through this alone. For the remainder of the evening he just held her. He sensed she needed some assurance that everything was going to be okay.
The following day they went for a ride and just enjoyed the day. It was almost like the stress of the previous evening was gone. They spent the evening making love just like they usually did. Everything was perfect, except Meri was pregnant.
Daniel and Meri discussed a few things but neither one of them really knew where to go from here. It was important for Meri to complete her studies, but she didn’t know yet how she would do that. The two had discussed the fact that their parents would have to be told. They agreed it would be best to face both parents together. Meri knew that her mother would be devastated. She dreaded seeing the look of disappointment on her mother’s face.
Somehow Meri managed to get through the next week. She was having a tough time concentrating on her studies. This was not the ideal time for her to be pregnant, but she was starting to warm up to the idea. She wondered what a baby that she and Daniel had made would look like. Would it be dark like Daniel, or fair like her?
The fall colors were at their best so Daniel suggested a ride the following weekend. He wanted to get Meri out and allow her to relax a bit. He knew that she was stressed over the pregnancy. He still was not sure exactly what they would do, but he knew he wanted Meri in his life. He considered
the two of them getting married and not telling their parents until after the ceremony was over. This wasn’t the time in life when he really wanted to get married, but Meri’s pregnancy changed things. He know that he must step up and take responsibility for what he had done.
Daniel had told Meri to dig out her jacket for the ride. The temperatures were starting to cool down and he did not want her to get chilled. After spending a quiet Friday evening at his apartment, the couple suited up and headed down to the Harley. Meri was looking forward to the ride. Fall was one of her favorite times of the year, with all of the vibrant fall colors. After fueling up, Daniel headed to the country with Meri snugly seated behind him.
Meri could feel herself start to relax. Daniel was taking the country roads and the scenery was beautiful. She was enjoying feeling the hum of the Harley beneath them, and she loved the way her body hugged Daniel’s. She was not sure what happened next, but she felt Daniel’s body tense and the Harley gave a sudden jerk to the left. Suddenly Meri felt herself being thrown from the motorcycle. She hit the hard ground and rolled several times before she blacked out. When she awoke, she was in a hospital emergency room.
Meri was briefly confused. One minute she was hugged up against Daniel on the motorcycle, then she was in a strange hospital with strange nurses and strange doctors working around her. When they saw that she was awake they started trying to comfort her by telling her what happened. It seemed that a car had rounded a curve and forced her and Daniel off the road. They told her Daniel was okay, he was in the next room getting stitches on his forehead.
As soon as the doctors was finished with Daniel he asked if he could see Meri. They had told him that she had lost the baby, but he requested to be present when they told her. He found her propped up in bed having a conversation with one of the nurses. Meri had told the nurse that she planned to be a nurse too, as soon as she completed college.
When Meri saw Daniel a grin spread across her face. He asked her if she was in pain, but she said that she was just sore. She noticed the stitches that were holding together the gash in his forehead. It somehow made him look almost sinister.
“I am so glad to see you are not hurt,” Daniel said. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. That car appeared from nowhere and I had no choice except to swerve. When I did the bike hit some loose gravel and I could not get it under control. I was so afraid you were hurt, or worse.”
“Well as you can see, I am fine,” Meri said. “Did it tear up the bike?”
“Nothing that cannot be fixed,” Daniel said.
Just then the doctor came back into the room and sat down beside Meri’s bed. The doctor told her that it did not appear that she was seriously injured, but she had lost her baby.
Meri felt like she had been punched in the gut. Her baby was gone? She was just getting used to the idea of being pregnant, and now she finds out her baby is dead. She felt hot tears roll down her cheeks. Daniel sat on the side of the bed and put his arms around her. The doctor explained that they would need to perform a D&C before allowing her to leave the hospital. This was a procedure that cleaned the uterus of any remaining fragments of the pregnancy. He explained that they would give her an injection in her spine that would make her numb from the waist down. Once the D&C was done she would remain in the hospital for a few hours while the effects of the injection wore off.
Meri was numb when the nurse help her sit on the side of the bed. She was told to lean over and stay still until after the doctor had placed the injection into her spine. She felt the sting of the needles that were used to numb the skin, then she felt the strong pressure of the large needle as it was inserted into her back. Soon the procedure was over and she could feel her legs going numb. She watched as the nurses placed her legs in the stirrups and covered each one with sheets. She heard when the doctor scooted his stool up close enough to do the procedure. She lay there looking at the ceiling while the doctor scraped out the last remaining fragments of the fetus that only this morning had been growing inside her.
Daniel and Meri were silent on the way back to his apartment. Meri was mourning the loss of the baby, but Daniel silently thought maybe it was for the best. This way they could take their time to figure out where they were going, and Meri could finish college. He took Meri inside the apartment and tucked her into bed. He told her to rest while he made a few phone calls and found the something to eat.
Meri managed to catch a quick nap. She was tired and sore from all of the day’s events. When she awoke she discovered Daniel sitting in the room watching her. He came over to sit on the side of the bed, asking her if she was in pain. Meri was not in physical pain, but she knew that the pain of losing her baby would not soon go away.
Meri was able to return to classes on Monday, but she was having a hard time getting into it. She mourned the loss of the baby and she was starting to have doubts about Daniel. She knew that Daniel had not been pleased to find out she was pregnant. Perhaps he had arranged that little accident to take care of the problem. Would he really go that far to get rid of the pregnancy? Would he risk both of their lives? She planned to discuss it with him the next time she saw him.
Daniel was taken off guard at Meri’s suspicions. Admittedly, he had not been happy about the pregnancy, but he would never have done anything to put Meri or the baby in danger.
Chapter 6
Meri had thrown herself back into her classes. She had doubled up on some of them so that she could perhaps graduate a little sooner. Daniel had denied any fault in what happened to the baby, but she wasn’t sure. He seemed to be handling the loss better than her. And then he had made the statement that perhaps this was a sign that it just wasn’t the right time for the two of them to be bringing a baby into the world.
Daniel was having a hard time with Meri’s accusations. How could she possibly believe that he would put her life in danger by intentionally running the bike off the road? He loved her, and he hoped to one day spend the rest of his life with her, it just wasn’t the right time now. The loss of the baby was tragic, but he thought it would give them more time to get to know each other. It would give her time to complete her studies, and get her licensing exam behind her before having to worry about taking care of a baby.
Meri did not share Daniel’s feelings. She had made no plans about the future, and she had no idea what she was going to do once the baby arrived, but she knew that it was a baby that her and Daniel had created, and she had wanted it. She felt so empty now. Her pregnancy had been in the early stages, but she had been aware that her baby was growing inside her. It was Meri’s responsibility to take care of the baby’s welfare and she had failed miserably. She alternated between blaming Daniel for the accident, and blaming herself for getting on the back of that motorcycle when she knew that she was pregnant.
One evening after class Meri and Anna were in their room studying. Meri decided she wanted to confide in Anna about what had happened. She desperately needed somebody to talk to and her mother was out of the question. Anna listened while Meri told her about Daniel, their passion, and the loss of the baby.
“Wow,” Anna said. “I had no idea you were in this type of relationship. I knew that you had been staying out a few nights, but I didn’t know that it was anything serious.”
“I never planned for it to get serious,” Meri said. “It just happened. He has been so gentle and so kind, and we have had some really great times together. I don’t want him to be out of my life, but I don’t know if I can trust him now.”
“There is no reason for you to make any decisions right now,” Anna said. “You have time to explore your feelings. Maybe the two of you need some time apart so that you can heal. Once you heal, then perhaps you two can start over.”
“I don’t know if I will ever get over the loss of the baby,” Meri said. “I know it wasn’t the right time for me to get pregnant, but I was really starting to look forward to having the baby.”
Anna told Meri that it would not be a bad
idea if she asked a doctor to give her some type of birth control. Meri didn’t feel it was necessary at this point, but Anna pointed out that if she had used birth control before she would not be sitting here right now mourning the loss of a baby. Meri agreed that Anna was probably right and birth control might be a good idea. She was upset with Daniel right now, but she remembered the passion he had introduced her to. She knew that she could not trust herself to not give in if the right time arose. She decided she would get an appointment before the week was over.
The following day Meri found herself once again in the office of the doctor on campus. She explained to him what had happened, and told him she wanted to discuss birth control with him. He agreed that was the right thing to do if she did not want to risk another pregnancy. They discussed the different types of birth control that is available. The pill is very effective, but there are side effects. They can cause irregular bleeding, there had been studies that indicate they may play a role in developing breast cancer, and it could possibly take her longer to get pregnant when the time is right. Shots were fairly safe and had few side effects. She probably would not experience her monthly cycle as long as she was taking the shots, but she would have to visit the office on a monthly basis to get the shot. The IUD was safe and long lasting. It is a small device that is inserted into the uterus and is designed to release a mild medication that kills sperm. She would have to visit her doctor’s office annually for an exam and to get a new IUD, but otherwise the device was undetectable once in place.
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