by CM Foss
“I’m still processing the fact that he’s here. This is crazy! Give me a little time. I’ll tell him. I will.”
I would.
“All right. I’ll give you that. How can I help?”
I looked at her, full of gratitude for her blind support and friendship. “Can you stick around and help with serving? I don’t want to seem weird, but I could handle spending extra time in the kitchen tonight.”
“You are weird, but I’ll help you hide it.”
I smiled. A real one. “You’re the best.”
“I know.”
Chapter 14
Patrick
Torture. The entire evening was torture. The look on Ivy’s face when she saw me was not one of elation. She almost looked scared, and that scared me. And that fear was the only sign of recognition I got. Then I was subjected to what was probably an epically delicious dinner, considering the reactions from everyone at the table, but I barely tasted it. And I barely saw Ivy again. That was about to change.
I poked my head out my bedroom door and looked down either side of the hall. The house was dark and quiet, with no light escaping from beneath the closed doors. Trying to escape the clutches of Stacy had proven to be harder than I thought. The woman was tenacious, I’d give her that. I couldn’t believe I had to resort to sneaking out of my own room though.
I was desperate to talk to Ivy. To feel her, touch her. It was killing me. Being this close was wreaking havoc on my nerves. It made me itch for a cigarette. Or just her.
I slipped out the back door and followed the path to her house. A path that was etched into my memory. The air was still warm as we moved into early fall, fresh and peaceful. I inhaled deeply as I walked, enjoying the stillness and the quiet, broken only by the occasional stomp of a hoof or soft snort coming from the fields surrounding me.
My heart rate increased as I got closer, my muscles tense in anticipation. I didn’t even try to be quiet when I reached her front steps, but bounded up them two at a time. The door swung open just as I was about to pound on it. She was frozen in the doorway, the light behind her creating a glow around her, dressed simply in loose boxers and a tight tank top. Her hair was piled on her head haphazardly, her face scrubbed clean of makeup. She was beautiful.
Without allowing another thought to enter my head, or hers, I reached forward to thread my fingers into her hair, pulling her toward me and crashing my lips into hers. She inhaled sharply in surprise but she didn’t resist. Instead, she attacked me back, hopping up to wrap her legs around my waist as I pushed my way through the threshold.
She tasted clean and sweet; she felt soft and strong, all at the same time. Her arms were wound around my neck, and she was squirming like she couldn’t get close enough. Without hesitation, I carried her straight into her bedroom, leaning over as I laid her down gently. Our lips kept moving, tongues tasting, teeth nipping as I kicked off my jeans, pulling back only for the fraction of time it took to pull my T-shirt over my head and toss it aside. I kissed down her neck as I pushed her shorts off, and she readily lifted her hips to assist me. My lips ran up her belly as I tugged her shirt up and she sat to pull it over her head. My hands drifted everywhere, and she sucked in a harsh breath when I reached her breasts. I gentled my touch and she sighed, arching her back to press into my hands.
Beautiful.
I didn’t want to break the moment by speaking, though there were so many things to say. Wordlessly, I reached into her side table to pull out a condom, sending up a quick thanks to the man upstairs that they were still there. I quickly rolled it on and positioned myself between her thighs, sighing with deep satisfaction as I sank into her heat. I claimed her lips once more, synchronizing our breaths, chests brushing as I moved languidly at first, then faster and more urgent as she arched off the bed and cried out her release, allowing mine to consume me.
I collapsed on top of her, burying my face in her hair, the scent of lavender soothing me and restoring my heart to its natural pace. We lay that way for an undetermined amount of time, breathing in sync, her fingers occasionally drifting over my back and up my side, playing in my hair. I could have easily fallen asleep that way, but I had to be crushing her small frame. I swiftly got up, taking care of the condom as fast as I could, almost as if I was afraid that by leaving her side, she would disappear.
“I’ve thought about you so much. Too much. I have so much to say,” I whispered as I returned, dotting kisses on her neck.
She was quiet, but toying with my hair between her fingertips. “Tomorrow. Let’s talk tomorrow.”
I nodded and rolled to my side. She shifted, her body naturally curving into mine. I draped an arm over her middle, skimming over the softness of her skin before settling my hand on the smoothness of her belly. For a second, I thought I heard her sniff, but disregarded it as she linked her fingers with mine and we drifted to sleep.
Ivy
I woke with a start from a deep slumber, wondering if the previous night was all a dream. It felt like one, but when I rubbed my thighs together and felt the heavy, delicious ache, I knew it wasn’t. I turned my head to the side and saw the empty pillow, still marked with an indent. I smoothed my hand over the shape, noting the coolness of the fabric. The sun was just barely rising, and I could hear Patrick puttering in the kitchen. I smiled to myself, warmed by the thought of him back in my kitchen despite the whirls of butterflies freaking out in my already sensitive stomach in preparation for the conversation ahead.
I sat up and swung my legs off the bed, waiting to regain my equilibrium before standing. Since being knocked up, woozy was my norm. I couldn’t go from horizontal to vertical quickly without spinning a little. But if I took my time, I was usually fine.
Pushing my arms through a light sweater, I padded into the kitchen. Before I could even enjoy the site of Patrick in nothing but his boxers, the scent of bacon assailed my nostrils. My stomach tightened and flipped and twisted, and saliva pooled in my mouth in that horrible pre-puke way. With zero stealth whatsoever, I spun around, knocking a lamp to the floor with a crash. I collapsed over the toilet, dry heaving and gasping for breath. Sweat popped out on my forehead as chills ran over my body. I actually wished I had something in my stomach to throw up because there’s no relief in the dry heave. I’m not even sure why I rushed to the bathroom. I knew nothing was coming out, but you just can’t not run.
I felt Patrick’s presence behind me, and I shamelessly rested my sweaty head on the toilet seat—I kept it very clean—to look at him. He was bare chested, holding a spatula in one hand, his lips tightened in concern. I met his eyes from my awkward position.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I nodded. “More or less.”
He knelt by my side and placed a hand on my forehead.
“You don’t feel feverish.”
I smiled weakly. “Is that how they taught you to do it in medical school?”
“Ha ha.” He scoffed. “Some things you can just feel.” He rose on his feet to stand over me. “Come on, let’s get you back in bed.”
“No. This happens all the time. I’m fine.”
He cocked his head to the side. “What are you talking about?”
I wanted to vomit. Again. For a split second, I considered lying. If only to save myself from having to say the words out loud.
“I’m pregnant.” Heat washed over my face as I held my breath and waited for his reaction.
His eyes widened and his face went pale. “What the fuck?”
My heart raced, nearly choking me, and I cleared my throat. “Yep.”
“How… how pregnant?”
“Um… when were you here before?” I spoke weakly, letting my eyes fall shut.
“May.”
“Well, then, since then.”
I heard the clatter of the spatula hitting
the floor and a heavy thump. I opened my eyes to see him sitting on the floor, back resting against my bed.
“You okay?” I asked.
He nodded.
“You don’t seem very okay,” I said.
“Well, give me a minute. I’ve just learned something I need to… you know, absorb.”
I nodded, willing to give him that. I got to my feet carefully and rinsed my mouth and face in the sink.
“How did this happen?”
I gave him a wry look over my shoulder.
“Well, we used protection. A lot of it.” He ran both hands through his hair with jerky movements.
“Apparently not enough.”
“Shit,” he muttered under his breath, and what was left of my heart sank. “Are you sick a lot?” he asked, staring down at his hands.
“Only with bacon. But I cook a lot of bacon.”
“That’s horrible.” He gave a small huff of laughter.
I snorted. At least he still had a sense of humor. Mine was hit or miss. “You have no idea. I can’t not serve bacon. I usually line my nose with peppermint so I can cook it. But when I’m not prepared…”
He was chewing his lip.
“Why are you here?” I asked suddenly. “Did you plan this?”
“No. No I did not.” He laughed without humor. “It was chance.”
I was quiet.
He raised his eyes to mine. “I’m glad though.”
“What? Why?”
“I am. If I hadn’t come, what would have happened?”
“I was going to tell you. I just… I wasn’t ready yet. And it took me a little time to even find you. Do you know how many Patricks are doctors?”
“And whose fault is that?”
I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t mean to get pregnant. I didn’t know I’d need to find you.”
“What if I wanted you to?” he said quietly. Resolutely.
I had nothing to say to that. I was all too glad to have him sitting on my floor as well. I’d missed him. But it didn’t make sense.
“It doesn’t really change anything. You’re there and I’m here.”
“I’d say it changes a whole hell of a lot, Ivy.” His voice was loud, ringing in my ears and making me wince.
I blew out a breath. “I know. But I don’t know what to do about it.”
He stood and walked over to me, sliding one hand around to the small of my back. The other caressed my cheek before gliding down my neck and shoulder, down my side to rest on my abdomen. He pressed a kiss to my forehead.
“A baby,” he said, blowing out a loud breath.
I nodded, covering his hand with my own. “Yep.”
“Wow.”
“Yep.”
“So what you’re saying is, we don’t need to use condoms anymore?” His voice was teasing, yet hopeful. Typical guy.
I let my head fall to his chest laughing. “You’re warped.”
He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “Just looking at the positives.”
“I’m scared,” I confessed.
He kissed the top of my head. “Me too. But we’ll figure it out. Somehow. What’s your due date?”
“Um… mid-January, I think.”
He pulled away to look me in the eyes. “You think? As in you don’t remember?”
I looked around his face, studying different features to avoid his direct gaze. “Well, I haven’t been to a human doctor. Yet. Luke did an ultrasound on me.”
He gaped at me, a look of utter disbelief crossing his handsome face. “Luke. The veterinarian Luke? The one with the ponytail?”
I nodded, swallowing hard as my cheeks heated.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
I looked down at my hands, biting hard on my lower lip.
“You need to see a doctor, Ivy. An OB.”
I groaned as a fresh wave of chills swept over me and my skin went clammy. “I know. Or… I don’t know. Do I? People and animals have been having babies for a long time.”
“Yeah,” he said, cursing under his breath. “And they used to die all the time. This is our child and your life. You don’t get to risk that.”
I ripped away from him and stalked over to the other side of the bed. “You don’t get to tell me what to do. I barely know you. If you knew me at all, you’d know that I would never risk my child. Ever.”
I bent to retrieve his jeans from the floor and tossed them at him, hard. He caught them before they smacked him in the face. Something fell out of the pocket. I watched it fall to the floor where it bounced and then settled. I stared at him, wide-eyed and accusing.
“Oh my God. You smoke! You’re a smoker.” I started to hyperventilate and ran my fingers through my hair. They got stuck in the mass of tangles, so I tugged on the roots, the pressure grounding me. “I can’t believe I slept with a smoker. With someone who has that much disregard for himself. And you’re a doctor! How could you? And how could you accuse me of risking anything?”
He walked around the bed and ran his hands up and down my arms, pulling them down in an attempt to soothe me. In all honestly, it did nothing to relieve my agitation; however, my body was traitorous and warmed at his touch. He blew out a long breath.
“I’ll make you a deal,” he said quietly. “I’ll quit smoking… if you go to a doctor. A real one.”
I chewed my lip, trying to use the sting and pressure to shut off my inner thoughts. “I hate doctors.”
“I’m a doctor.”
I pushed at his chest weakly. “You know what I mean.”
He raised an eyebrow. “No. I can’t say I do.”
“I haven’t been in a hospital or doctor’s office since my mom died. The smell, the sounds… I just… I can’t.” My stomach churned, and my breathing picked up pace again.
He pulled me close and for that one moment, I let him. He calmed me. “I’ll go with you,” he whispered against my hair.
I pushed away, taking a step back and crossing my arms over my chest. “How’s that gonna work, Patrick? You don’t live here. You don’t live even close to here. I’m trying to figure out how to do this on my own.”
“You don’t have to though. You don’t have to do everything on your own. Let me help.”
“How?” I yelled.
And was met with silence. Because he didn’t have a real answer. Any more than I did. Sure, I would love for him to fall at his knees and profess his undying love, despite the fact that we’d spent a grand total of thirty hours in each other’s presence. He’d move here, give up his career and all his dreams, and we’d run the farm together, side by side, milking goats and cows and spending our summers frolicking through the fields with our child. Yeah, I could totally see that happening.
“Can you give me some time?” he asked finally. “To get organized and explore some options. I don’t have all the answers yet, but I’m not going to let you go through this alone. And I’m not leaving you to raise our child alone. I just… I need some time.”
I nodded, staring at the ground. I was lying to myself. I could actually picture us here together. Maybe not frolicking in the fields, but creating a life together… it was attractive. “Yeah. I don’t have much of a choice.”
He started to approach me again, and I held up my hands to halt him. I knew that with one touch, I’d soften, and I couldn’t handle that.
“I have to get ready. Why don’t you get back to your room before anyone misses you?”
He planted his hands on his hips, jaw tense and lips tightened into a thin line, then spun to grab his clothes and cram his limbs into them, muttering under his breath.
Then he turned to glare at me, eyes narrowed into slits. He was wearing a plain T-shirt, wrinkled as it was, and his hair wa
s a mess. He had stubble on his jaw and his jeans hung loose on his hips. He was not the city boy I met a few months ago. I was mad and I was scared and he was pissed, but at the end of that train of emotion, Patrick was here, in my room, in my house. And dangerously close to being in my heart. I felt my mouth curve into a smile despite… everything.
As soon as he saw it, he took three long strides to reach me, sweeping me into a kiss that was fierce and consuming and passionate, that left me breathless and wanting more. I was panting by the time he was done with me, our foreheads pressed together. He dropped a kiss to the tip of my nose then turned and walked out of the room.
Chapter 15
Patrick
I walked slowly along the path to the main house. The rising sun was turning the sky a swirl of pinks and oranges as it crested the mountains in the distance. Birds were chirping, and there was actually a rooster crowing. I smiled when I heard the bleat of a goat, no doubt ready for breakfast and milking. Even after only spending one day here, I knew the routine was important. For the animals and for Ivy.
I stopped halfway on the trail and turned in a circle. A sense of peace washed over me in that spot, in that moment. My heartbeat pounded in my ears when I looked at Ivy’s rooftop, which was all I could see from my vantage point. It didn’t beat faster, in panic. Just harder, like a magnet was pulling it out of my chest.
I was lost. Lost in my life and my thoughts when I really wanted to be lost in her. Could I change everything, my whole career, and move out to the farm with Ivy to raise our kid and milk goats? Part of me really wanted to, but that was pretty fucking crazy. Absolutely. Who would do that? Except Ivy, of course.
I took a deep and steadying breath and continued to the inn, hoping that clarity would magically befall me, but it never did.
The main house was still dead quiet when I reached it, so I snuck in quietly and walked up the stairs to my room. I needed a hot shower. Or a cold one. Maybe I’d alternate. Anything to calm me down or normal me out. There was no normal though. Not anymore. I was going to be a father. Holy fuck.
