“Yes, ma’am, I’m sure you do.” The sheriff placed the key in the lock and swung the cell door open. “Now, if you’ll just step inside, I believe we can turn the tide on this rampant lawlessness.”
Dazed, Felicity stepped inside the cell before it dawned on her she was in the same cell as Jake. Too late, she heard the lock click. She spun to face the sheriff. “Mickey Moss, open this door. I will not remain in the same cell as this…this…this miscreant.”
“Now don’t be cursing me, Mrs. Major. That’ll only make things worse for you.”
“Curse you? I swear…” she began.
He wagged a finger at her. “I just warned you not to swear.”
“You can be so pigheaded at times. You know perfectly well I didn’t—”
“Have a seat, Miz Major, and calm yourself. You might as well make yourself comfortable. You’re not going anywhere for a spell.” He headed to his desk and placed the key to the cell in his desk drawer, closing it firmly. “I’ll send Miz Simmons over later with a mite of food for you both.” Tilting his hat to the side, he opened the door before turning back to face them. “You know Elizabeth makes the best chicken and dumplings in the county. And she had carrot cake for dessert earlier today. You’ll love that if she still has any left. Anyhow, it’s late now, and I’m plum tuckered out. Takes a lot out of a body arresting two people in one day. I’m gonna head on home for the night. I’ll see you both in the morning.”
“Morning? Mickey Moss, you come back here right this instant,” Felicity shouted as the sheriff firmly closed the door behind him.
~~~
Felicity rounded on Jake. “This is all your fault.”
“My fault? I sure as perdition didn’t ask to be arrested.” He sat on the narrow cot and glared at her. “If you’d kept those wandering mules on your property, I wouldn’t have lost my temper.”
“What do my mules have to do with the price of tomatoes?”
“I almost crashed my truck into one when I left your property today. I was so blue blazes mad at you I almost didn’t see it until it was too late.”
“And?” she prodded.
“I went home and called Moss. I lost my temper and cussed at Mickey for not taking the situation seriously. You know Miz Libby…”
She nodded. “She listened in on the call.”
“And then complained. Moss claims there’s some law on the books that says it’s illegal to swear on the telephone.”
“Well, I never—”
“That’s right―you never do anything anymore. You’ve shut yourself away from the world. I can see you running from me, but why avoid everyone else?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Mr. Major. I’m not running from you. I simply have no desire to see anyone. Since Jethro died, I prefer being alone.”
“Criminy woman, you’re twenty-four years old. No one quits living at twenty-four.”
Felicity arched a brow. “You’re such an expert on life? The four years you have on me taught you everything you need to know?” She left her spot by the cell door and approached him as he sat on the cot. She poked her finger into his chest. “Let me tell you something, Jake Major, you don’t know anything about anything.”
Jake sat still on the cot, his eyebrow lifted in a challenge. He didn’t stop her from poking him. Raising his eyes to hers, he said softly, “I know we loved each other once.”
Backing up, Felicity’s eyes widened. She tried to swallow over the lump forming in her throat. “I never—”
“Don’t lie. You buried your feelings, but I’d bet my last dime they’re still there.”
“I…” Felicity turned and walked back to the cell door. “I don’t wish to speak about this. Please refrain from—”
“Telling the truth? Felicity, I think it’s time we got everything out in the open. We’ve both kept our feelings buried too long—and it hurts.” He came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, turning her to face him. “Talk to me.”
Tears welling in her eyes, Felicity tried to wiggle from his grasp.
He didn’t release her. Instead he leaned closer.
She felt his breath on her face. Recognized his scent―soap and leather. A scent she’d never forgotten. Her mind slipped back to the first time she’d smelled it―the first day they’d walked to school together. He could’ve ridden his horse, but once he saw her walking along the side of the road, he’d dismounted and kept pace beside her. He’d done that every day until he graduated the small school. Although she knew he often thought her a pest at times, they’d been inseparable.
She’d fallen in love with him the first time he’d bent to pick a small dandelion and handed it to her. A silly weed. To her it was the most beautiful flower she’d ever seen.
A tear slid down her cheek as she remembered the day they’d met behind the small one room schoolhouse. He’d held her close and she’d leaned her head on his shoulder. She’d wanted to stay like that forever. But she couldn’t. She’d come to tell him good-bye. Came to tell him she’d accepted his brother Jethro’s proposal.
It was the day her world had ended.
Hurt, he stormed away from her―left town the next day. Stayed gone the entire five years she’d been wed. He’d only returned ten months earlier to attend Jethro’s funeral.
She’d thought he’d leave again. Prayed he would. He hadn’t. Every time she turned around, he seemed to be in town, always trying to talk to her. She couldn’t face him. Unable to bear the questions in his eyes, her response had been to turn and flee. That’s when she stopped going to town. Even stopped going to Sunday service, although it almost killed her to do so. She prayed God would understand why.
It was easier to stay home than risk running into Jake. She couldn’t face him.
It hurt too much.
Jake led her to the small cot, pushed her to sit. Instead of joining her, he paced the small cell with the restlessness of a caged animal.
When Felicity didn’t say anything, he stalked back to her.
She averted her face, but he cupped his hand and placed it lightly under her chin, forcing her to look at him.
“Why, luv? You owe me that. After all this time, tell me why you married Jethro instead of me.” He released her face and gently rubbed the back of his knuckles against her cheek. “Blast it, woman, you knew I loved you. I planned to marry you as soon as you graduated from school.”
Felicity closed her eyes. All the old memories washed over her—of Jake holding her hand as they walked to school. Sitting beside her in church on Sundays. Of him holding her closer than he should at the Saturday night social each week. Miz Burnside had always had a fit over that. She’d even complained to the town father’s one time, but they’d done nothing but talk to Jake.
He’d told her afterwards, “They said I needed to not hold you so close. Seems some of the old women in town don’t like it. Especially that old biddy Burnside. Sheesh, no wonder no man ever wanted her. Her face looks like she sucks lemons.”
They’d laughed about it—and had ignored the warning. Felicity hadn’t cared what Miz Burnside thought. It felt good to be in Jake’s arms, and she had no intention of stopping him. She planned to stay in his arms forever.
Then Jethro returned from the war.
Although he tried to maintain a normal life, everyone could tell he was sick. His skin had the pallor of the chalk in Miz Tschorn’s classroom. Felicity had seen him in town one day and he’d come over to talk to her.
After that, her life had changed.
She looked up at Jake and wanted to cry. Wanted to throw her arms around his neck and beg him to forgive her. That could never happen. As her mother used to say, “You’ve made your bed, Felicity Amanda Adams. Now lie in it.” Of course, at the time Felicity had done nothing worse than steal apples from Mr. Jacobs’ grove, but she knew she’d be in for it when her pa came home. The look on her mother’s face told her that.
Six years ago, she’d made her bed. She’d accepted Jethro’
s proposal―and she’d have to lay in it the rest of her life.
“Jake, please. It’ll do no good to talk about it. What’s done is done. Let it rest.”
Jake crouched before her, his hands steepled almost in supplication. “I need to know why. The question burns in my gut every day, every night. What did I do to make you stop loving me?”
Felicity gasped. Before she gave thought, she blurted, “Jake, no. I never stopped loving you.” Her hand flew to her mouth, too late to recall the words.
Eyes wide, Jake stared at her. “Then why? Tarnation, woman. Why did you leave me?”
Tears rolled down Felicity’s cheeks. Jake caught them with his finger. He reached into his pocket for a handkerchief and gently blotted the tears.
“Jake, I…” She stopped. Could she do this? Could she tell him the truth after all this time? Even if she did, it wouldn’t fill the longing in her heart. The painful hole he’d left the day he stormed out of town. She caressed the side of his face with her fingertips, the face she so loved. “Jethro needed me, Jake.”
“I needed you,” Jake growled in anguish.
Felicity shook her head. “It wasn’t the same. You were strong, healthy. I knew you’d go on to find someone else to love—to marry.” She gulped. “I didn’t want you to, but I had no choice. And I’m not the one who left. You left town the very next day. We never heard anything from you in all the years you were gone.”
Jakes’ eyes narrowed. “What do you mean you had no choice? Did my brother compromise you? Did you have to marry him?”
Felicity gave a weak smile. “Nothing like that. When he came back from the war he knew he was dying. It’s why they discharged him early.”
“I knew he was sick. What does that have to do with the price of beans?”
“Don’t you see? He needed someone to take care of him? He needed—”
“A nurse. We could have hired someone from the city. Ma and pa left us enough money.”
“He didn’t want a stranger looking after him. He wanted to be around people who cared for him.”
“Cared for him? Don’t you mean loved him?”
Felicity drew in a breath and lowered her dark, silky lashes. “No, Jake. I never loved Jethro. I cared for him, but never loved him. He was like a brother to me—just as he was your brother.”
“You never loved…?”
She raised her head, unflinching under the probing eyes. “No. He was kind to me. Before his health deteriorated completely, he built the Santa’s village for me. He said your dad taught him carpentry―joked you always used to bug him about helping. Said you were a downright nuisance at times.”
Her eyes drifted to a distant place. Jake doubted she actually saw anything. “He wanted to do something for me so I’d always remember him. He felt the tiny village would be all this town had left of him once he died.”
“But you closed it up. I came by and saw it after the funeral. It was newly painted then, but you never let anyone on the property after that.”
“I couldn’t. After I saw you at the funeral, I…I needed to keep that part of him for myself for awhile. To remember what he’d done while we’d been married. I needed to feel…”
“What?” Jake prodded when she didn’t continue.
“Needed to feel I wasn’t betraying him.”
Exasperated, Jake rose and began to pace the room again.
“Felicity, that’s ludicrous. You can’t betray someone who’s dead.”
She bit her lower lip as tears welled in her eyes, threatening to fall. “You can when you realize your entire marriage was a lie. Admit your heart had been elsewhere.”
Jake was afraid to breathe. Did she…could she possibly… mean what he hoped? Though hesitant to voice his thoughts, he walked back to the small cot and knelt on one knee.
His fingers gently caressed her cheek. “Where was your heart, Felicity?”
Tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks. “You took it with you the day you left town.”
Jake drew in a sharp breath. “Then why in the name of all that’s holy did you leave me? Why did you marry Jethro?”
“Because I owed him my life.”
“You what? What nonsense are you—”
It was Felicity’s turn to try and calm Jake. She placed her hand on his shoulder and leaned so close, stroking the thick eyebrow with her thumb, trying to ease the frown.
“When I was a very little girl, I used to sneak away from Mama and go down to the fishing pond. One day I saw a baby duck flounder. Trying to rescue it, I got a stick and tried to reach out to drag it to shore.” She stopped and closed her eyes. When she opened them, Jake was rising. He moved to sit beside her on the cot.
“I fell in—and couldn’t swim.”
He placed his arm gently around her shoulders and drew her close. “How old were you?”
“Five.”
Her eyes locked with his, begging him to forgive her—to somehow understand why she’d done what she had.
“I screamed, but kept going under the water. Suddenly I heard splashing in the water and strong arms pulled me to the surface. Sobbing, I threw my arms around his neck as he moved cautiously to the embankment. It was your brother. He saved my life, Jake. If not for him, I’d never have met you.”
“What does that have to do with why you married him?”
“When Jethro returned from the war, he was dying. They’d told him in the army infirmary he wasn’t responding to treatments.”
“What did he really die from? The death certificate stated heart failure, but I never really believed it.”
“Syphilis. They’d apparently tried cupping while he was overseas—you know, where they use that thin metal rod to try and break up the infection.” She shuddered at the thought of the procedure. “He said it hurt like the dickens and hadn’t helped at all—even after going through all that pain.”
Jake’s eyes widened. “He must have been miserable at the end. I’ve heard stories of men who suffered with it through the war.”
Felicity nodded. “He was. All I could do was try to make him comfortable.”
“But I still don’t understand—”
“I saw him in town one day a few weeks after he’d returned. He invited me to Mr. Moore’s ice cream shop. He makes the best hot fudge sundaes in town, so I went. While there, Jethro told me he needed my help. Reminded me of how he’d saved me once, and would I return the favor.”
“No! He didn’t.”
“Yes, he did, and I felt too beholden to him to say no. He insisted I not tell you, but he asked me to marry him and stay with him until he died.” She closed her eyes against the pain.
“I had to, Jake. I…” She choked back a sob.
Jake drew her into his arms and she laid her head against his firm chest. Oh, how she’d wanted to do this all those many years ago.
“It’s alright,” he crooned against her hair. “We can make it right now.”
“It can never be right. I hurt you—and I’m sorry.”
“Yes, you did, but it can be right. You can marry me now. Be my wife for the rest of our lives.”
“I can’t,” she wailed. “I can never undo all the things I did wrong.”
~~~
“Them’s fightin’ words, woman. Don’t ever again tell me you can’t do something. You can—and you will. I won’t let you run from me again.”
“But—”
“But nothing. If Sheriff Moss agrees to release us tomorrow morning, we’re going to head straight to apply for our marriage license. I hate the thought of that blood test, but we’re going to do it first thing.” He placed his fingers beneath her chin and lifted her head. “And before you tell me you can’t have children, let me assure you I don’t care. It will be just you and me for the rest of our lives. We’ll grow old together and sit on our porch and rock in those chairs Pa built—just like I always dreamed.”
Felicity turned her head away, but Jake saw the flush creeping up her cheeks.
“I don’t know if I can have children or not.”
“You didn’t have any in the five years you and Jethro were wed. It’s clear—”
Interrupting him, her cheeks turned even redder. “We didn’t have any children because we never…” Clearly embarrassed, she couldn’t continue.
Jake’s eyes widened in sudden understanding.
“You and Jethro? You never…in all that time…you never…?”
Felicity pursed her lips and shook her head. “No.”
“Why not?” he asked bluntly. He’d experienced such a shock at her words, he didn’t think to temper his words.
“Because he…couldn’t.”
Jake’s eyes widened in understanding. “The syphilis?”
“Yes.”
“But he tried?”
“No. He was afraid I might contract the disease, too. That’s how he caught it—over in Europe.” Her eyes met and locked with Jake’s. “He once told me he thought God was punishing him for all he’d done overseas. I told him God wasn’t like that. That God loved him. It took a long time, but he finally believed me.” She bit her lower lip, then a smile filled her face. “I had the preacher come out to talk to him. They talked for a long time in the study, and when they came out Jethro was grinning from ear to ear. Right before he died, he was finally at peace.”
A smile crossed Jake’s face and he pulled Felicity close. “Thank you for doing that.”
He stopped and cleared his throat. “But back to what we were talking about before, so you’ve never…?”
A blush rose to her cheeks. “No.”
Lowering his mouth against hers, Jake brushed her lips with the lightest touch. Wrapping his arms tightly around her, he lifted her easily into his lap.
“Three days, Felicity. As soon as the waiting period for the marriage license is over, I’m dragging you before the preacher and you’re going to be mine. We have a lot of time to make up for. I plan to love you until you start to live again. You’ll be so content you’ll want to share your joy with the entire town—the way you used to. Church every Sunday, volunteering for every committee, having our babies whenever God sees fit. Helping with the Christmas pageant at church like you always used to. And opening the Santa Village to the nearby communities. I’ll get some paint from Old Man Perkins’ store and we’ll fix up each building and make the village shine again. Children from near and far will love it, and in truth it will be a lasting testament to Jethro.”
No Law Against Love Page 17
