by Jody Hedlund
“Then you’ll forgive me?” he asked.
His expression was sincere. He had not a trace of the mockery I’d glimpsed in him from time to time over the past days. And although I wanted to remain irritated at him for ignoring me too often, I couldn’t muster any anger. I was only relieved — relieved that he was speaking with me, that he’d apparently cared enough for my well-being to follow me.
In fact, I couldn’t resist teasing him in repayment for his scare. “I can’t begin to think about forgiving you . . .”
His brow shot up.
I resisted the urge to smile, doing my best to pretend solemnity. “I can’t forgive you . . . unless you agree to help me deliver the supplies.”
A smile twitched his lips, but he too did his best to hide it. “Very well, my lady. I shall bind myself to you as your slave the rest of the afternoon. I shall do whatever you wish.”
“Whatever I wish?” I couldn’t keep from smiling then.
“Absolutely anything.” He lowered himself to a knee in front of me, laid the basket aside, and reached for one of my hands. Much to my surprise, he lifted my fingers until the warmth of his breath brushed my knuckles. His gaze held mine as my heart began to stutter. Finally, he brushed my skin with an exquisitely soft kiss, the touch of which went straight to my knees.
“Whatever you wish shall always be my command.”
Chapter
11
My breath caught. The boldness of Derrick’s words taunted me.
“You’re the knight,” I said. He was the one who’d rescued the criminals that day in the marketplace.
He released my hand, stood, and retrieved the basket. “Yes, I am indeed a knight.” And when he finally turned his gaze on me, they were filled with innocence. Too much innocence.
“Then you won’t take credit for your rescue in the town square?”
With the basket in hand, he started out of the side street. “I have nothing for which to take any credit, my lady. Except for rescuing you just now from the most villainous and barbaric attack by the most hunted criminal in all of Christendom.”
I hurried to catch up with him. He was grinning.
“Then I shall have to think of a great reward for this rescue. What could I possibly bestow upon you that would make you happy?”
His grin widened. “I shall think on it, my lady.”
“And you’ll let me know?”
“Yes, in due time.”
The rumble in his voice made my insides quiver. There was something about Sir Derrick that was raw and real and altogether too hard to resist. It unleashed confusion within me and reminded me of how little time he’d spent with me, of how seldom he had sought me out.
I stopped and waited for him to face me. He took several more steps before turning and raising his brow at me. “My lady?”
“You haven’t planned your special day with me yet.” I was unable to keep the accusation from my tone.
He studied my face. “No,” he finally spoke quietly.
“Why? Have I done something to offend you? Something that makes you hold me at arm’s length?”
“I would think you’d be completely satisfied with my two friends.” There was an edge to his voice I didn’t understand. “Are they not giving you enough flattery and attention to equal that of ten men?”
“They’re both very attentive.” I toed a rock with the tip of my slipper. I didn’t quite understand why I wanted to spend time with Sir Derrick. Certainly, Sir Collin and Sir Bennett made my heart flutter with strange new feelings.
But . . . it was becoming undeniable that there was something about Sir Derrick that drew me in a different way. Maybe it was only the fact that he held himself aloof and I needed the satisfaction of drawing him out. Whatever it was, I wanted to be honest with Sir Derrick. I had the feeling he would settle for nothing less.
“Yes, I like your friends,” I admitted. “But I would like the chance to get to know you too.”
His eyes held mine. He seemed to peer into my soul to test the weight of my words. I glanced away to the guard by the quarantine fence, who stiffened to attention as he’d finally recognized me. For a long moment, I waited for Sir Derrick to respond, to put me at ease with flattery, or something. When I finally looked at him, he was wearing a cocked grin. “If you insist, my lady. Then I shall give you a day you will not soon forget.”
“I won’t insist.” I’m sure my cheeks had turned to flames. “If you’d rather not spend a day with me —”
“Only if you think you can put up with me for an entire day.” His eyes twinkled.
My indignant retort faded. How could he be so irritatingly arrogant one moment and entirely endearing the next? I couldn’t contain my smile. “It might be difficult to put up with you for that long, but I shall endeavor to try.”
“Then you’re a brave woman.” He held out a hand. “Now, shall we get to work? After all, I’ve promised to be your slave for the afternoon. And I don’t wish to break my word.”
I crossed toward him and hoped I didn’t appear too eager.
“What shall I do first, my lady?” He offered me the crook of his arm.
I slid my fingers against his strong flesh, hoping he couldn’t feel me tremble at his nearness. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to find a way for me to cross into the infected area so I can check on my people?”
He started to shake his head, but when I turned the full force of my pleading eyes upon him, he stilled and studied my face. “I cannot do that, my lady. But what if we were to have the guard allow those who are well to come out of their homes so that you can talk to them from this side of the fence? Then you might encourage them from a safe distance.”
His plan was fair and level-headed. In no time, he’d convinced the guard to allow me limited access. For a short while I was able to offer words of comfort and pass out the medicines I’d brought in my basket.
When we were done, Sir Derrick didn’t oppose me when I stopped to visit some of the bedridden elderly who weren’t in the affected area. I was surprised, but not displeased, when he joined me inside the dark huts. Although he didn’t speak much, he was kind and attentive to the people and seemingly in no hurry to leave.
By the time I made my way out of the last home, a slight drizzle had begun to fall. I fell into an easy step next to Sir Derrick as we retreated toward the town gate that would lead to the castle.
“I thank you, sir, for your kindness in accompanying me today.”
“’Twas my pleasure.” He swung the basket in a carefree manner.
“I suppose it wasn’t the most exciting afternoon you’ve ever had, especially compared to the tournaments and hunting and skirmishes you participate in.”
“Exciting isn’t the right word to describe the occasion,” he said, earnestness hardening his face. “There’s nothing exciting about seeing the suffering of others.”
I nodded in understanding.
“But it was an amazing afternoon,” he continued, observing me with an intensity that made me squirm. “You continue to surprise me. To feed the poor from your kitchen is one thing. But I hadn’t expected that someone like you would trouble herself with visiting among them.”
Even if his words weren’t high praise, I still basked under his half-admission that I’d finally done something he liked. “And why wouldn’t I visit among them, sir?”
“Because you certainly have more important things to do, like wear fancy gowns and enjoy dinner in the garden.” The mockery in his tone was barely concealed.
“Shall I don rags and roll in the dirt?” I retorted. “Will I meet with your approval then?”
He didn’t respond. Except for the slap of our steps, silence crept around us. And I couldn’t help thinking that even though the three knights were in a contest to win my approval, somehow things had gotten turned around so that now I hoped to win his.
I chanced a sideways peek to see if I’d offended him. He glanced at me at the same moment and gave
me one of his cocked grins. “Don’t worry, my lady. If you want to roll in the dirt, there’s no need to don rags. You can do it in your current attire.” He glanced then at the dirt that caked the road and was now turning muddy in the mist.
“I’ll do it, but only if you’ll join me.”
His grin quirked higher and his eyes flashed with appreciation for my wit.
I tried to hold back a smile of my own but failed dismally. I was surprised by how much I liked him, and I could no longer pretend indifference.
He stopped suddenly and faced me, his smile fading and a new seriousness taking the place of his mirth. “You’ve shown yourself to be a kind ruler. I can see now why your people love you.”
“I only wish I could do more for them.”
“Yes, there’s a great deal more you can do.”
His blunt honesty took me aback and left me speechless for a moment. I was used to the abbot reminding me of how much I already did and how my people couldn’t possibly expect more.
The rain began to fall harder, and we resumed walking.
“The duke said that I’m a compassionate leader, that no one else could rule them better than I. Are you contradicting him?”
“No, my lady. Not in the least. They’re blessed by God to have so kind a ruler.”
“But you still think there’s more I can do for my people?”
The rain pattered against the dirt road and sent splatters of mud against my gown. The wimple covering my hair was beginning to grow damp.
“The kind acts you perform are very necessary. And they most certainly please God. But . . . you’ve been putting small bandages on a large, festering wound. Perhaps you must now consider how you might eliminate the wound altogether — or at the very least diminish it.”
Again, I was unprepared for his honesty, but I couldn’t fault him for it.
When the rain turned into a complete downpour, he lifted his face to the sky and let the drops pelt him. I could only watch him with wonder, trying to grasp the implications of all he’d spoken. Was there more I could be doing to help my people? If so, what?
As if realizing where he was and that I was garnering a soaking too, he reached for my hand and wrapped his fingers around mine in a strong, warm grip. “Come. We must make haste. I must deliver you back to the castle before you’re drenched.”
I didn’t resist as he tugged me along. I had to half-run to keep up with him, but for a reason I couldn’t explain, I was utterly happy. With my fingers against his and the loveliness of our time together warming my heart, I felt happy and free.
By the time we raced across the drawbridge, we were both breathless and laughing. We didn’t stop until we crossed into the gatehouse. Finally out of the deluge, we could only stand gasping for air. Sir Derrick’s brown hair was plastered to his head, and rivulets of rain ran down his face. His clothes were soaked and dripping. My gown was likewise, and strands of my hair stuck to my cheeks and neck.
Even though I surely resembled Pup after one of his baths, I wasn’t self-conscious. I wasn’t sure whether it was because Sir Derrick still held my hand or because he was smiling down at me. Whatever the case, I didn’t want to break the contact with him.
As our breathing finally steadied, I could hear the rain pattering against the stone gatehouse with a lyrical rhythm. He dropped the basket to the ground and lifted his hand to my cheek. His fingers hovered for only a moment before he gently peeled a blond strand from my skin. My pulse sped to the same beat as the rain.
His smile faded, replaced by an intensity I couldn’t understand but that filled me with greater urgency to know this man standing before me, to discover his deepest longings and fears, his past struggles, his present enjoyments, and his hopes for the future. I had the desire to reach out to him and comb a wet strand from his face, just as he’d done to mine.
But the sudden calling of my name from the outer bailey startled me. I stepped away from Sir Derrick, breaking the contact and forcing him to release my hand.
“Lady Rosemarie,” called my porter as he ran through the downpour toward me, the rain pelting off his bald head and wide shoulders.
Even though I’d broken the physical contact with the knight, I couldn’t break the hold his eyes had on me. His eyes, the color of the solid stone walls, encompassed me, drew me in, and refused to let me go.
Only when James stood next to me, his hulking frame towering over me, did I force myself to glance away.
“Your nursemaid has been sick with worry, my lady,” James said with a bow. “She sent me to fetch you and bring you directly to your chambers.”
“You may tell her I’ll be along shortly.” I wasn’t ready to leave Sir Derrick just yet.
“She said I wasn’t to return without you.” James hunkered away from the castle as though he expected Trudy to come running after him with a broom in hand. “She’s concerned that you may take a chill from being out in the rain.”
Now that he mentioned it, I felt the cold dampness of my gown pressed against my fair skin, and I couldn’t hold back a shudder. I crossed my arms, hugging myself for the warmth I lacked.
Sir Derrick frowned. “I agree with your nursemaid, my lady. You must hurry along and change out of your wet clothing.”
As I allowed James to lead me away, I could feel Sir Derrick’s gaze following me, blazing a trail of heat through my insides, regardless of how cold I was on the outside.
Chapter
12
I peered out the open window of my chamber, trying to get a glimpse of the arrival of another set of guests. But the inner wall of the castle stood in my line of vision, preventing me from viewing the arrivals that had been ongoing since morning.
“I really wish you and Abbot Francis Michael would stop worrying about me so much.” I turned away from the window to Trudy, who had hovered at my side since I’d returned from town wet several days ago. I’d heeded her instructions to remain in bed, secluded from my guests, only because the abbot had insisted on it as well. When he’d discovered I’d gone near the infected area, he became concerned that I might fall ill. All it had taken was the mention of spreading disease among my guests for me to willingly seclude myself. The last thing I wanted was to bring the illness into the castle among the knights, and now the other nobles who were arriving for the festivities.
Trudy clucked her tongue as she finished pressing the last wrinkle from the gown I planned to wear to the dance that evening.
“We’re only worried because we love you so much and don’t want to see you hurt in any way by this whole grand scheme of the duke’s.”
I gave an exasperated sigh, just as I had done numerous times since I’d been confined to my room. Their protectiveness stemmed from love, just as my parents’ had. But still, I longed for them to treat me more like an adult. Like Sir Derrick did. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why I had been unable to stop thinking about him since our walk home from town. He was kind, but he didn’t treat me like I was fragile or breakable. Rather he seemed to push me to be better, to do more, and to rise higher. And I liked it.
Dare I say, I liked him?
“I only want what’s safest and best for you.” Trudy spread the pink gown out over the bed, its sheer layers and softness similar to so many of my gowns.
No one could deny that a life behind cloister walls would be the securest and most peaceful course for my life. “But what if what is safest and what is best for me require walking two divergent paths?”
Trudy shook her head, her flushed cheeks wobbling. “There you go again, speaking in a manner far above me.”
“Did my parents do what was safe?” We both knew the answer without my saying it, but I answered the question anyway. “They chose the risky road, Trudy. They could have stayed back in the castle, locked themselves away, and let the people fend for themselves against the Plague. But instead, they went out and were willing to sacrifice their very lives if needed to do what they thought was right.”
I
paced across the room, treading the path in the rushes I’d already made during the afternoon of restlessness in my chamber. After days of solitude, I’d begun to feel like a caged songbird and I was ready to be set free again.
Trudy pressed her fisted hands against her hips, watching me and shaking her head. “Come sit down this instant. You’re wearing me out with all your prowling.”
But I couldn’t stop. A peculiar need was driving me, the need to test the new feelings inside me. Somehow I knew I wouldn’t be satisfied until I’d tested them to their fullest and found them wanting.
“Sometimes we have to take risks, even put our lives in jeopardy to do what’s right.”
“Oh, Rose,” Trudy said, using my childhood nickname. Her face crumpled with concern. “More than anything, I want you to be happy. Whatever you choose, as long as you’re happy, then I’ll be happy.”
I stopped in front of her and grasped her hands. “Then will you help me, Trudy? Will you help me discover what all these new feelings mean?”
“I don’t know —”
A knock on the door echoed hollowly through the chamber. Trudy rushed to respond, and I again padded to the window and listened to the cheerful calls of men and women arriving and being escorted into the keep where my servants had guest rooms prepared.
When Trudy finally closed the door, she held a large bundle wrapped in a silver cloth. “The duke has sent you a gift for the dance tonight, my lady.” She crossed to the bed and deposited the present. Slowly, she lifted the cloth and unveiled a luxurious, shimmering gown of deep crimson, glittering with pearls and diamonds embroidered on the sleeves, neckline, and waist.
We gasped together at the beauty and stared at it with open mouths.
“Did his servant say why he chose to bestow such a fine gift upon me?”
“He said the most beautiful woman in the kingdom deserves the most beautiful gown tonight.” Trudy reverently brushed her fingers across the full skirt.
“It’s magnificent,” I whispered. But did I dare wear something so fine and regal? I glanced at the pale pink gown I’d planned to don. Next to the red creation, it seemed plain and childish.
