‘That’ll be clear enough - it’ll be a privy perched on a rock regularly sluiced by the tide!’
‘You don’t understand of course, endowed as you are with your handy little device.’
Robert roared with laughter. ‘It does come in handy I admit.’
‘Anyway, what will I wear? I can’t imagine the heat in one of those
Mother Hubbard frocks.’
‘Look - it’s only a couple of days and nights but if it’s all too tiresome, don’t come. I bet you’ll always wish you’d had a taste of life in a village according to the rites of centuries.’
‘Put like that, O persuasive one, I’ll get a grip and pretend I’m Margaret Mead - who by the way, didn’t venture far from the pastor’s house to make her so-called groundbreaking anthropological discoveries.’
The accommodation was a fale on the perimeter of the village alongside the other forestry workers’ huts. The manager’s house was some distance away where some small huts were provided for other expatriates. Tim, the new manager, met them at the ferry and took them to the village where he introduced the visitors before they went to his house for a meeting.
While Robert attended the meeting, Dinah was offered the pickup to take some of the children to a nearby swimming hole which she was assured was safe. The little girls giggled when they saw Dinah slip off her dress to swim because she was wearing a swimsuit. They went into the water in the clothes they were wearing and Dinah wished she could have done the same.
English was a foreign language for these children but when Dinah asked if they went to school, they pointed gleefully to where the school must be. How far that was she couldn’t guess but clearly they did not attend any sort of educational agency. What would their future be without literacy? The days of an unhampered lifestyle, no matter how tried and tested, were numbered and Dinah felt a real desire to open these little eyes to other possibilities. Their bright personalities she found enchanting and her idea of starting her new career was given a boost.
She remembered one of Min’s anecdotes from her village school sessions; the student teacher asked the class what the missionaries had brought to these islands and the answer was “shoes”. Apparently the student had looked questioningly at Min who thought subversively that the answer was not far wrong because shoes and puritanical religion were not only a confinement but were also superfluous in this tropical lifestyle.
While Dinah watched, the small brown bodies cavorted in and out of the water chattering happily. Every so often she said ‘Hello. How are you?’ and was amused when they chorused back to her in what was a distinct Australian accent. When the time came to stop playing and get into the pickup, Dinah’s romantic notion of noble little savages was tested. Pointing to her wrist with no watch and then to the pickup only provoked more imitations and hilarity until she started the engine as if to drive away. Then there was a mad scramble of wet bodies and clothing clambering over one another to climb on board.
In spite of an invitation to have the evening meal with the manager and his family, Dinah decided that it was etiquette to eat in the village on the first night. To her dismay there was a large component of pisupo in the miscellaneous array on the plates so she had to communicate in sign language with Robert that she wanted to offload it on to his plate. They waited for a moment of general distraction and swiftly accomplished the transfer only to notice one of the children solemnly observing them.
Like a slowly lowering blind, darkness fell and there was a rush to reach the bedroom before total blackness enveloped everything. The pandanus blinds had been pulled down and a lighted kerosene lamp provided. On the same table there was also a Bible for bedtime reading, but they were both desperate for a more basic facility which had not been mentioned.
Dinah reminded Robert of her reservations expressed earlier so he agreed to accompany her into the darkness.
Chapter 38
The sound of snuffling in the grass woke Dinah and she was surprised to see that it was daylight. She was even more surprised that she had slept soundly on the mat and she turned to see if Robert was awake. He was propped up on one arm reading the Bible and was not distracted by her quiet snort. Outside there was an echoing snort and Robert said without taking his eyes off the very small print -‘Pig.’
‘One thing about this bedding is you’re not tempted to lie in. What shall we do now?’
Robert put the book down and took her arm and intoned piously,
‘Holy Writ has put me in the mood for a bit of begetting.’
‘You’re joking,’ said Dinah with such finality that he let go of her arm in disappointment.
‘Right spoilsport, with your permission, I’m going down to the water and I’m going to immerse myself and then see what’s on offer in the dining room.’
‘I’ll come with you and come back here for a dry lava lava.’
There was another sound in the grass and a woman’s voice said in
English, ‘Are you sleeping?’
‘No,’ they chorused and Dinah went to unroll one of the blinds. There was a girl of about sixteen holding two big mugs of milky tea which Dinah took, thanking her profusely. She was told that there was breakfast ready and smiled when Dinah said they were about to go for a swim.
Later, after Robert had gone off to the mill and Dinah had negotiated her way across the flat rocks to the feared latrine, she joined the group of old women who were placidly fanning themselves and watching the general activity all around them. Several of the men were sitting in a nearby small fale in what appeared to be a sort of conclave. Dinah felt awkwardly mute and she wondered what the women thought of her, unable to communicate except by smiling. Her smiles were greeted with solemn faces looking nowhere in particular. It was a relief when the young girl who had brought their morning tea asked her if she needed anything.
‘Where did you learn to speak such good English?’ Dinah was happy to break her silence.
‘In the high school in the town.’
Dinah heard how she had been at school when her mother took ill and she had to come back to the island to look after her younger siblings. Her mother had since died and she had stayed. What were her chances of going back to school? Her shy smile was non-committal and again, Dinah found herself imagining a future with limitations vis-à-vis the wider world. In spite of a lack of curiosity which surprised her, she mentioned some facts about herself and Robert - where they came from and what they were doing. Inevitably some of the relatives had gone overseas so Australia and New Zealand were familiar names. While she was chatting to the girl, some of the children came up to Dinah to show her shells that they had picked up on the beach.
‘They’re lovely,’ she said, as she handed them back, but it was made clear that she was to keep them. She knew that she would remember the time and the place of this touching and simple act.
Robert had promised to come and collect her around lunch time when they would drive to the famous blowholes and have a picnic with the manager and his family.
While they enjoyed the picnic prepared by Tim’s wife Anne, he told them about the forester who had fallen into a blowhole and been given up as drowned.
‘It was a sheer bloody miracle as you’ll see,’ said Tim, putting a large chunk of imported cheese on a slab of white bread.
The approach to the blowholes was over several metres of the rocky foreshore but the roaring sound could be heard from where they were sitting. At first Robert thought of geysers, but these water spouts were more voluminous than any geysers he had seen at home in New Zealand. Their number and frequent eruption were determined by the force of the sea below the cliff face and Dinah felt that fatal attraction which repulsed her.
The miracle man had been sucked out through one of the vents and taken out to the churning foam to his presumed death. Sometime later, after a mourning process had begun in a nearby village and his wife and children were being consoled, the “dead” man walked into the village like a revenant attending his o
wn obsequies. Ultimately he described how he had been carried along the coast to a place where the seawall lowered and he was able to clamber on to the beach.
When Robert walked close to one of the vents, Dinah shrieked at him to stop but her pleas were absorbed by the constant roaring as the sea rushed in. Later, on the way back to the village she was totally silent and he was mystified as to the reason. Filled with the vision of possibilities, she had withdrawn into herself. Much later when they were alone she called him a foolhardy fuckwit.
‘It was a thrill to get as close as I did to the boiling cauldron and you’re behaving like an overprotective mother. I’m a big boy you know.’
‘That’s the problem - “boy” is the operative word,’ she muttered quietly.
‘Look, let’s not get all het up. We have a different fear threshold obviously, and I can understand your fear reaction - I just don’t share it
- that’s all.’
That night, as she lay on the mat in the pitch dark unable to sleep after the day’s events, she remembered how as a young child she would jump into her bed from as far away as possible, fearing being sucked under it by some unknown force. She hadn’t thought of that primal apprehension for a very long time.
She jumped suddenly when she felt an arm touch her shoulder and
Robert whispered, ‘I’m sorry.’
‘I thought you were asleep.’
‘I’m thinking about that bloke who defeated the odds. Bloody amazing.’
‘That’s what scared me so much - he was a big boy too you realise.’ Robert pulled her on to his mat and said ‘Let’s play grown-ups,’ and she shook with the relief from tension.
‘And we won’t be pretending,’ he hissed in her ear.
Chapter 39
‘A foray into the comfortable diplomatic lifestyle might interrupt my acceptance of austerity,’ said Min as she brushed her eyelashes in front of the mirror in the bathroom. ‘This will be a test of my commitment perhaps.’
‘Or else you’ll realise how much more interesting it is to do your apprenticeship in the art of making do,’ Peter said between vigorous brushings of his teeth.
‘And you’ll be able to tell me whether it’s more interesting to take a holiday among the proles or enjoy the delights of home away from home with tropical extras.’
‘I think I know the answer already but I’ll tell you when I’ve sampled the high life here.’
Ronan had offered to pick up his guests at six-thirty so they could look around the garden at the commission house before dark. When she saw the white Japanese car, Min had a flashback to that day when the very same car had sped by her as she trudged home laden with books, in the burning sun. Was that the day when she began to renounce the ideal of self-abnegation and decided that she’d had enough of God’s grace? None of these thoughts was conveyed to the other two but she couldn’t help smiling at the serendipity of the situation. Looking back to those confused sentiments of moral righteousness and envious bewilderment she felt justified in the present clarity of her position. Put into words, it might be summed up as “Bugger hardship”.
They drove up to the compound of attractive wooden houses separated by lush tropical growth. The timbered interior was open and light, shaded along one side by a verandah supporting a huge bougainvillea. They were offered a selection of spirits and deliciously cool white wines which they sipped gracefully enfolded in soft-cushioned chairs. Min found herself stroking the airy cushions like big compliant pets.
‘This is like floating on air,’ she said respectfully.
‘I know what you mean,’ Ronan was instantly understanding. ‘I’ve served my time on those mead hall thrones in the fales but you can enjoy this minor luxury only where there’s air conditioning.’
Peter added that the local buildings and furnishings were examples of harmony with the environment and he’d noticed that the local bodies also were perfectly adapted to sitting cross-legged for ages.
‘I wonder how many of the people here have knee replacements.’
After the meal which had the double charm of home-grown lamb and somebody else’s culinary touch, they talked about the car which Min agreed to buy on the terms offered.
‘You’ll have to change the diplomatic plates,’ said Ronan apologetically.
‘Of course. I don’t need diplomatic immunity anyway,’ replied Min with a straight face.
The evening went quickly as they talked about mutual friends and some recent gossip. Ronan asked Min if she played sport and she said she didn’t unless you counted jumping to conclusions. Peter verified that and then asked about scuba diving.
‘Have you done it before?’
‘Now and again but I’d need some supervision.’ He was interested to hear about a course available.
‘I can let you use my gear until I leave as long as I get it back in time to pack it. You wouldn’t want to pay excess baggage anyway - would you?’
‘True. When exactly do you leave?’
‘In a couple of weeks or so - you can collect the car on the Friday night if you like.’
Min expressed some doubt about driving on the right but was assured that it was soon mastered. Then to Peter’s complete surprise she told Ronan about the accident in which her partner had been killed, and sudden tears, as if released by the words that she had not spoken before, gushed forth without warning. Peter took a handkerchief from his pocket and went over to hand it to her not knowing what else to do. He looked at Ronan whose uneasiness prompted him to pour Min another drink. She shook her head trying to overcome her hysteria, gasping out ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.’
Why this came upon her so unexpectedly when she had been feeling relaxed and at home she had no idea. Perhaps the prospect of driving again after so many months and the subtle reminders of home and its unavoidable memories had aroused feelings suppressed until now in the alien environment. As she tried to calm her sobs she heard Peter telling Ronan the bare facts of the accident in which they had both fallen asleep and Min had woken up in hospital. Although he knew all the facts, he did not mention that they had been married one month and were going to visit her parents who had not attended the wedding because it was in a registry office. Hugo was not religious and Min had never confronted her parents with her loss of childhood faith knowing what their reaction would be.
Later at home they had tried to understand why Min had been so overcome. She said that her emotions just erupted and perhaps it was the first time she had felt permission to release them. The company had been so empathic.
‘There’s something you don’t know Pete, because I’ve never told anyone. It’s so shocking. My mother told my cousin who is devout and therefore acceptable, that Hugo’s death was probably punishment for my sin. Can you imagine that?’
‘It’s sick and you know it Min,’ Peter said passionately.
‘I know it rationally, but others’ heartlessness is too pervasive to ignore when it’s in your own family.’
‘Promise me Min that you won’t allow yourself to ever think of that shit again. It’s not worthy of your intellect.’
Min got up to give him a hug on her way to bed. ‘You’ve been good for me Peter dear and I’m so glad you’re here.’
He smiled and let his head drop supported by his clasped hands. He had been disturbed by Min’s revelation and needed to sit quietly for a while and reflect in silence. It dawned on him with clarity that mental abuse was as damaging and more subtle, than the now widely recognised physical kind.
Chapter 40
There was not a soul on the beach when they headed for the river mouth to see where the tide was. It was still high but not too high for them to cross holding their lunch things above their heads and then depositing them under the mangroves.
Peter was as charmed as Min thought he would be and he jumped into the river to be carried by the swift out-going tide. Min followed after a while and they drifted pleasantly letting the wash of cool stream water carry them out into th
e warm lagoon. Min dived under the water in an attempt to exorcise her recent stress. She was still shaken by her inexplicable reaction during what was a most enjoyable evening but she reminded herself that “the heart has its reasons which the reason can never know”. She was sure however, that somewhere in the mystery Peter had played a role as catalyst in what she hoped might be a milestone in her journey.
She lay on her back luxuriating in the supportive salty water and gazed at the cerulean sky; she wondered if she would be as moved by her surroundings if she could understand why the sky was so blue. Did a deeper knowledge enhance the beauty or in demystifying it, reduce the wonder?
Preoccupied with such contemplations she slowly became aware of voices coming from the mangrove area. She stood up and as she wrung the water out of her hair she saw Peter squatting on the sand talking to a young man. She could also hear the voices of children and a wave of resentment replaced her dreamy mood in which she had been alone in Eden. She waded back to the shore and sat on her towel looking out at the lagoon with her back to the others. Shortly afterwards, Peter called to her to come and meet Fono who lived in the village further up the river. In the face of his broad smile her churlishness abated a little and when Peter asked him to share their lunch she simply thought of how he would divide the meagre spoils. No sooner had they started to munch on the chunks of white bread and tinned corned beef than a bevy of children crept out from behind the mangroves and squatted nearby.
Peter asked Fono if he should give them some of the food but he was told that it was customary for the adults to eat their fill and the children would have the leftovers. Min was discomfited by the eager faces watching her and lost her appetite while Peter seemed unaffected. When Min mentioned the fact to him later he scoffed gently at her sensibility.
‘You need to grow another skin,’ he teased.
When the picnic had been totally consumed Fono invited them to visit his village which he said was near the sea. Min remembered that points of the compass were expressed in this part of the world, simply as “near the sea” or “away from the sea”. Therefore, she had no idea how long it would take them to reach the village through the dense vegetation but Peter was undeterred and accepted enthusiastically. She would decouple her plans and go with the flow.
Another Throw of The Dice Page 13
