"They had business in town," the earl answered, this time. He glanced toward his wife. "I believe my wife has something to ask you."
Lily's breathing became shallow. She glanced toward the countess, who frowned.
"I have invited guests for tea this morning. I suppose you would like to come."
Lily stared at her. This, of all mornings? She gulped and glanced up at her husband. But Darby answered for her, giving her a look that said she dared not disagree with him.
"Of course, she would." His voice was firm, and Lily looked across at the countess.
"Yes, my lady. I would be honored, certainly."
The same thing happened the next morning, except that it was the earl who asked both Lily and Arabella to join him.
Gregory and Arabella prepared to leave the next afternoon, and Lily watched them go with a great deal of sadness. She knew they were about to leave on another voyage. Gregory was making preparations to pick up and deliver cargo, and Arabella took Lily aside for a few moments before they left.
"Lily, talk to Darby. I'm serious. It only puts a deep rift between you when you refuse to confide in him. He loves you, and it hurts him when you keep to yourself. I know it's hurting you, too. I can see it. Promise me you'll talk to him soon?"
Lily stole a brief glance at Darby, knowing she was right. His face had a worried, gaunt look to it, and she felt guilty, knowing she'd caused it.
She hugged Arabella tightly, whispering, "I promise, Bella."
But as Gregory lifted his wife into the carriage, Bella glanced toward her, through the window, mouthing the words, "Tell him."
Lily watched her go, sadly. She couldn't. Not right now.
"Lillianna?" Darby's voice brought her back to reality, and she prepared the biggest smile she had as she turned to face him. Wondering when she'd see his huge grin again, she threw her arms around him.
"I love you, Charlie."
He held her back and gazed down into her eyes. "Do you wish we could go with them?"
Lily leaned up on tiptoe to kiss him. "Perhaps the next voyage?"
"That can be arranged, sweetheart. Just say the word."
"Yes, sir. I will."
But as they climbed the steps back into the house, Lily thought to herself that she'd better get back to the mill. And soon.
Finally, the fourth day, she found her chance. Darby was not there when she awakened, and the house seemed terribly empty. Lily had overslept and called Rebekah to help her dress, cursing herself for having so many of her dresses made with the buttons in the back. When she went downstairs, she checked in the kitchen. Marie, the cook, was glad to see her and quickly fixed her a plate of fluffy eggs, kippers, and sourdough bread smeared with sweet cream butter.
But as she took a whiff of it, she realized she didn't think she could eat. Nausea overwhelmed her, and she begged off sorrowfully, taking the buttered bread with her and wandering outside. A moment later, when one of the mastiffs approached, she ended up feeding the bread to him. He inhaled it in one gulp.
"Glutton," she murmured softly. "I should have brought you the kippers."
When he cocked his head to the side as if he wondered why she didn't, she laughed and patted his head, moving toward the stables. She was glad she was wearing her cloak; it was chilly outside.
Jacob looked up upon seeing her. "My lady? Do you desire to go to town today?"
Lily glanced around. "Now?"
He grinned. "Whenever you wish. I can get the coach for you."
Lily smiled. Jacob had said nothing about Rebekah, and she nodded. "I would love to go. Thank you."
Overwhelming guilt was settling dreadfully down her spine as she watched him come out with the carriage. As he helped her inside, she sat down and leaned back. She was glad she had tucked Arabella's funds inside the pocket of her tiny purse. But she was thinking, and a frown furrowed her brow. Why had she not seen Darby, this morning? She'd had another night terror during the night and had awakened to him holding her close. She had breathed in his woodsy clean scent and snuggled into his neck, relaxing there against him.
After calming her down, he'd broached the subject of her confiding in him.
"You are up to something, little one. I know you better than you know yourself. Tell me, Lillianna. I can't protect you, if you don't." As he spoke, his firm hands caressed down her back and gripped her backside. The implied spanking did not gain any response, and he had appeared determined to prove his dominance. His hand dipped between her legs to gather some of her dampness. Then he reached up and deliberately started circling her very sensitive rosebud.
"Lillianna? Are you going to tell me?"
At first, she had tensed, resenting his high-handed behavior, but then Lily forced herself to relax. Her Darby would never hurt her. She took deep, calming breaths, submitting to his actions. When the tip of his finger made its way inside her bottom, Lily found herself coming off the bed. Instantly, inside, she began to feel wave after wave shudder through her as she came.
"Oh! Charlie!" she whimpered. Without understanding what was happening, she was writhing against his hand.
Darby had suddenly chuckled at her response, as if he'd approved. He'd brought her bottom up higher in the air and mounted her channel from behind, finding his own release before they fell into a relaxed sleep.
Now, she felt wretched. He longed to help her. He loved her with all his heart; she knew that beyond the shadow of any doubt. Why could she not bring herself to trust him enough to tell him about this? He even knew about her past and loved her in spite of it.
Reliving the events of the night before, she was riddled with guilt at refusing to tell him what was on her mind. "Oh, Charlie," she whispered under her breath, "I will confide in you. Soon. I promise."
It was when Jacob pulled up in front of the Tea Room that she became surprised. The door opened. "My lady, would you like for me to wait for you in the park?"
"Of course, Jacob. That would be fine. Would you like me to bring you a few scones from inside?"
"No, my lady. I'll sit and enjoy the sunshine. Is half an hour enough time?"
She looked at him oddly. "Yes, I'm sure it will be."
Lily walked into the Tea Room, frowning. Something was amiss today. She sat and ordered half a dozen scones and paid, taking them back outside. She spotted the carriage down the block in front of the park but didn't see Jacob anywhere. Trotting between the buildings, she went through the alleyway to the block behind her and turned. The scones were warm, and she tasted one, sighing with her eyes closed. But after a moment, it seemed to sour in her stomach, and she tucked the scone back into the bag.
It was a strange feeling, this. She almost felt as though she was being watched. As she approached the mill's gate, she looked through it. "Ashton?"
There was no answer immediately. A moment later, he came around the corner, frowning as he said, "Didna I say ye shouldna be here, Lily?"
"Yes, you did, but I have something to give to Colin."
"Colin was giv'd the boot last time ye showed. 'e's been sacked fer a week. I told ye it weren't safe. And 'tisn't safe for us. Ye be dressed too fine for this place, ye draw heed to yer self."
But Lily's mind was on the first thing he'd said. Colin had been suspended? She asked, staring, "Will he be able to come back?"
"On the morn. Fenwirth's on 'im now, like a—" He stopped, looking over his shoulder.
"Oh, Ashton, I'm so sorry. Please…" She paused, remembering the bundle in her purse. "I have something for him. If you'd see he gets it—"
"Come closer and turn t' ye'er right. Bein' watched, ye are, from a window above." Ashton frowned, and Lily approached. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out the envelope and handed it to him through the gate. "Tell him it's from me, for the children."
As she pushed it into his hand, he looked up and down the street, tucking it into his pocket. "All right, then. If he ain't back by then, I'll take it to 'is house. I know where 'e lives."
&n
bsp; "Thank you, Ashton. You're a dear."
His voice was low. "An' now I'm 'bout to bellow at ye, an' don't take it personal-like. I know Fenwirth's watchin,' so act full of affront."
She grinned. "I'll act my part." She shoved the bag of scones into his hand. "Share these with the children. Now. You may growl."
He stepped back and took a deep breath, letting out a deep bellow at her. "I'll tell ye one more time, an' make no mistake! Yer not welcome here! Ye' don't want me comin' out after ye!"
Lily backed up slightly, giving him a look of fright as if she didn't know what to say and then nodded. "Right. I'll be going now." Backing up several more feet, she stared at him, and turning, she ran as if the devil himself was after her.
Ashton grinned and gave another great bellow, and she picked up her speed and turned back toward the direction she'd come. She ran the three blocks back toward the Tea Room and, suddenly, saw the carriage. It had moved up from the park and was waiting at the exact same block she'd cut between the last time she had visited the mill.
She froze, staring toward the coach.
"Ready, my lady?"
Blinking uncertainly, she nodded and let Jacob put her inside. It had been too easy. Darby, the earl and the countess, even Rebekah; she had seen none of them when she had gotten up this morning. No one but Jacob, who had asked her if she wanted to go to town. It dawned on her that Darby knew. He knew.
The realization that he had set her up clawed at her heart all the way home. The betrayal was so complete, she was unable to even cry. She was not at all surprised when her husband came out to greet her and took her by the hand, leading her up to their room.
"Come with me, young lady," he had said in his gruff voice. "It's time we had a talk."
She went meekly. But as they began to ascend the steps to the second floor, she slowed.
"Lillianna? What is it?"
She lowered her head and closed her eyes, whispering, "I feel ill. Could I please sit down?"
He instantly lifted her into his arms and carried her up the rest of the way. But as soon as they reached the top of the steps, she twisted loose from his arms and ran to the bath. She didn't quite make it before she had begun to wretch and vomited onto the bathroom floor. Gently, he moved her closer to the toilet and held her forehead as she heaved, over and over again. With his other hand, he pulled her red curls back from her face. She wrapped her arms around his long legs and held on for support, shaking frightfully.
"Lillianna," he whispered softly as he lifted her and carried her over to the counter. He dropped a towel onto the pool of vomit on the floor to cover it and set her down on the counter next to the wash stand, cooling a cloth in the water and wiping her face carefully. "Do you hurt, sweetheart? Do you ache anywhere? What did you have for breakfast?"
She thought about it. "I didn't eat this morning." When he frowned, she snuggled into his neck, and he took her into the bedroom and lowered her gently among the pillows. "Sir? I need to talk to you."
"I know. And I need to talk to you. But right now, I want you to rest. We'll speak later, my love."
She closed her eyes and nodded as she leaned her head backward on the pillows. Reaching out, she grasped his hand with hers, determined not to let go. "Oh, Charlie," she said softly. "I love you so…"
Things get worse…
Lily lingered as long as she dared outside the earl's study, remembering the conversation she'd heard between Darby and Gregory before the captain had left to take Arabella on his next mission. Her husband had sounded disappointed about missing the trip. "My father is not quite recovered as of yet, though I must say the thought of whisking my beautiful wife away is not without merit. I long to see my Lily carefree again, sassy and up to her regular mischief. She is far too serious and secretive."
The words of her husband had touched her heart. He'd been so right. Secretive? Certainly, she had been. Serious, as well.
She sighed, approaching the earl's chambers. "How I wish we could sail away from reality," she murmured as she prepared to pay her father-in-law a visit. "But running away won't solve anything. I've tried it before. It's time to make a difference. I may not know how, but I can't stop until I do."
Knocking at the door, she paused to plant a smile on her face before heeding the earl's call to enter. "Are you alone, my dear? I thought I heard you talking to someone."
She doubted ladies of proper breeding were expected to talk to themselves, but she could not bear to lie to him. "I was giving myself a lecture on my duties, my lord. I so want to make you and Darby proud."
"And my wife is not making it very easy, is she? Come; sit by my side. Tell me, are you happy here? Is my son happy being home?" The sun shone through the large windows lining the library, and Lily had to move around a bit on the chair to avoid the glare. "I realize my wife has not been very welcoming, and I apologize profusely for that."
"It's not your fault, sir. I'm sure things will get better between us."
"And my son?" The earl leaned forward eagerly.
"The truth? I heard a conversation between Lord Darby and Viscount Smythe recently in the study. I know he would love to go back out to sea. The captain offered him another trip, but he hasn't mentioned it to me, so I'm assuming he won't be going this time."
He considered her words carefully. "And you, Lillianna? Is the countess making things too difficult for you? I will speak to her."
She lowered her eyes for a moment and then met his gaze once again. "I know the countess hates me," she confided, surprised at herself for doing so.
"Though she might have tried, the countess does not hate you. You are much too delightful for anyone to hate, my dear." He patted her hand. "I had hoped my wife would have warmed to you by now and shared the subject she dwells on so much. I wish it was possible for you to really get to know her. The countess is a loving, devoted wife and mother. We were married many years before we were able to have children. She doted on Charles when he was a boy. For some reason, our son's marriage set off a change in her. I'm not at liberty to tell you all her story; it's hers to tell, after all. But I'm growing stronger now. I should be able to take a more active role in guiding her through this difficult time…soon."
"Don't concern yourself with the matter, my lord. The countess and I will come to terms, sooner or later. She is warming to me. Have you noticed she eagerly invites me to her teas these days?"
The earl gave Lillianna a strange stare, as if he were debating saying more. "It pains me to say so, but her invitations have been…" Words seemed to fail him.
Ashamed of herself for teasing him, she helped him out. "Are you suggesting you and my husband are behind the warm, gracious requests? I guess that would explain the pinched expression on the countess' face when she offered. And here, I thought I needed to speak to the cook about avoiding sour foods during meals."
The old man started laughing but ended up coughing and pulling her in for a hug.
Lily gave a soft giggle. "Tell me, my lord, would you enjoy it if I read to you? Reading is one aspect of being a lady I have managed to master. My mother taught me from an early age."
"Where is your mother, now? She is welcome to come and stay here, if you like. I would love to meet the woman who raised such a delightful young lady."
"She passed away long ago, sir." Lily stood, admiring the opulence of the room. It was obvious that the earl loved books. One of the walls in the large room was lined with bookshelves which were quite full, and she felt herself drawn to them. "No doubt, she would have loved to see this grand place. Our own home was quite modest compared to this, but it was enough for us."
What she said was true enough; though her early childhood home had been modest, it had been lovely, and the thing she remembered the most vividly were the books her mother had read to her from the library. Those bookshelves had been full, too. But then her father had… She clamped down on the thought and refused to dwell on it further.
Lily didn't mention her father's fate
and the scandal. She preferred to dwell on the few happy memories she had from her childhood, and she certainly did not wish the earl to know her father had fallen from grace in society.
Extending his arm, the earl indicated for her to select one of the books from the shelves. Her eyes came to rest on a title her mother read to her often as a child. "Hans Christian Andersen's Fairy Tales Told for Children," she read as she pulled it out. "Did my husband read this as a little boy?" Eager to hear of Darby's own childhood, she rushed back to the earl.
"Too often to recount." He smiled at her. "He was a rascal, that boy. His mother insisted he had to read aloud for an hour each day, claiming a future earl must be well read."
"How did Charlie, I'm sorry, Lord Darby prefer to spend his time?" Lily inquired, grinning at the earl's twinkling eyes.
"Charles loved to draw pictures of ships—he's quite good, you know—and balked at giving up so much time to read of other's adventures. He preferred to daydream of his own plans to sail across the ocean to new, exciting places. Anyway, when he could not convince his mother to relent, the boy set out to memorize a few of the tales in the very book you cradle in your hands. When his mother walked past my study, she could hear him spouting the words and had no idea he was really drawing plans for a great vessel to sail away from the task of being an earl."
Lily threw back her head in a delightful laugh. "Does my husband's love of the sea disappoint you much, sir?" she asked, holding the bound book close to her chest.
The older gentleman leaned his head back among the pillows and sighed before answering. He stared across the room, his face looking suddenly weary. "Being an earl is a tiresome, often thankless task, Lillianna. I must confess, I'm growing tired. There are things that need to be done in Darbyshire, tasks that need to be addressed, yet I find I haven't the inclination to do it these days. Having Charles here has been a great help to me. He'll make a quite capable earl when it is time for him to take over. But perhaps when I feel better…" He paused before turning to her and studying her face. "To answer your question? It pleases me that my son can enjoy his youth and experience freedom before being saddled with the role destiny has in store for him."
Conquered by the Commander Page 11
