Harold shrugged.
She sat down at her desk and unlocked her bottom drawer and pulled out the diary. “The answers to all of our questions hopefully are in here,” she said, running a hand over the smooth pink velvet surface of the book. She took a deep breath and opened the book. Turning to the first page she scanned through it, flipping through the pages as she went. “Looks like it doesn’t start to get interesting until her junior year.”
“Isn’t that when she started dating Robert?”
“Yep, right here on August thirtieth.”
August 30, 2011
Dear Diary, OMG Rob just asked me out. He is the quarterback and the hottest guy in school. It’s all happening, just like I had planned. This is what I have been working for. I feel kinda bad though. He and Kristen were hooking up. She said it isn’t very serious.
“Dang, that is kinda cold,” Harold said.
“No kidding,” Carma said, flipping through more pages. “Wow, Robert was her first. According to this, they ended up having sex at a party after a home game a little after they started dating.” She flipped through a couple more pages. “Apparently, he wasn’t very good, though.”
Harold laughed. “That thing reads like a soap opera. Has it mentioned Ronald yet?”
“No, not yet. Hold on here’s something.”
October 31, 2011
Dear Diary, I went trick or treating with Kristen tonight. I know its lame, but I had fun. I dressed up as a sexy nurse and Kristen was a sexy cat woman. We don’t do kid stuff like that anymore. I swear I felt like someone was following us. It was so strange. Afterwards, we went to a costume party at Marshall’s house. It was pretty awesome.
“Sounds like Ronald was following her around at that point, but she didn’t know it yet.”
Carma turned the pages, looking for Ronald’s name in the slanted cursive. “Busted.”
“What?”
“She knew about Kristen and Robert, or at least she thinks she knows.”
February 14, 2012
Dear Diary, I got all dressed up tonight and Rob took me out for dinner for a double date with Kristen and Marshall. Does she think I’m blind? Her boyfriend is sitting right beside her and all she can do is stare at my boyfriend. BITCH!”
“You haven’t ever been in a love triangle or had multiple boyfriends when you were younger, Carma?”
“No, I was more respectful of my friends. I respected and loved my friends so much that whatever feelings I did have I kept to myself because that’s what real friends do.”
“But you did have feelings for a friend’s boyfriend then?”
“That was a long time ago, in another life.”
“I take that as a yes. Speaking of, why haven’t you ever been married?”
Carma rolled her eyes.
“No, seriously. You’re only what thirty-six, thirty-seven, and you are so fine. Why, oh why, hasn’t some equally beautiful guy snatched you up yet?”
“Well, thanks, I think,” Carma said with a laugh. “Let’s get something cleared up real quick. Just so you know, I have dated, thank you very much, but really my life is too hectic at the moment to have to worry about dealing with someone else’s needs and feelings. Besides, I am somewhat of a bitter cynic when it comes to love. You see, Harold, my perfect guy married my best friend and no other guy could live up to his image. Also, being born and raised in an area as small as Pamlico County, and coming back after college unmarried or single to live took a whole lot of mystery and intrigue out of dating. It’s hard to find a person mysterious and intriguing when you have known most of the men in Pamlico County since they were eating glue or picking their nose in elementary school.”
“What about all those out-of-towners I hear you talk about so much who vacation here every summer? What is it you called them? Snowbirds,” Harold asked her with genuine curiosity.
“Nah, I tried that a few times, but in the end they always had to leave and I always had to stay.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you always have to stay?”
“Because, this is where I live. I can’t just be careless and run away.”
“It wouldn’t be running away, Carma. It would be living. There is a big world outside of Pamlico County and it is amazing.”
“I know. Maybe one day I will,” Carma said wistfully. “However, right now this is my home. Besides, until we find out who killed these kids, moving and experiencing new people and places is the very last thing on my mind. Until I reach that goal, proving to everyone and myself I can do it, I will be happy.”
“New Orleans won’t wait around forever,” he reminded her.
“Trust me, I know. It’s still in the back of my mind. I think I will need a little push in that direction to get my feet moving when the time is right.”
Harold stretched his arms wide. “Well, I’m going to call it a night. Tomorrow you want to go back to Vandemere to take a look in Ronald Marks’ room since his mom will be home?”
“Sounds good to me. Maybe we can find those pictures Kristen said he took of Melissa.”
Carma stayed at her desk, staring up at the pictures on the board. She looked down at the diary and picked it up before going home to her quiet little cottage nestled on the river to beat up on her body-bag.
Chapter Twelve
Once Carma was finished with her workout, she sat in her wicker loveseat on her back deck and stared into the darkness as the heat lightening danced in the late August night sky. She pulled her legs up and opened the diary to where she left off in the month of February. As she went through the months, she noticed Melissa started to refer to people by their initials.
Went to dinner in Jacksonville today with A.
…K. called today. He’s so hot…
…Spent the night in a hotel in Greenville with A…
…Met M. at the Bluff’s tonight. I was nervous because I’ve known him all my life and I know it should be wrong, but OMG it was so great...
“Who are these people?” Carma wondered.
Much to Carma’s disappointment, her doorbell chimed, breaking her meditation and disturbing her serene evening. Moaning and groaning, she went to the front door.
“Mike?” she asked.
“Hey, Carma,” Mike said, admiring her sweaty workout clothes which only consisted of little spandex shorts and a tank top.
“What’s up?” she asked, trying to hide how happy she was to see him.
“Nothing much really. I was on my way home from work and thought how great it was to see you the other day. Before I knew it I was here. It’s been a while you know.”
“Yeah, it has. You wanna come in?”
“Sure. You got a beer?” he asked.
“Of course.”
He followed her into the kitchen and leaned on the bar. “This place is great. It feels as though we’re on some secluded island away from all the craziness.”
“Yeah, I like it. The peace and quiet is very seductive.”
“I didn’t see any houses close by. Don’t you ever get lonely?” Mike asked her.
Carma laughed and said, “And there won’t be any either if I have anything to do with it because I bought the surrounding five acres of land to keep the developers away.”
She handed him the cold beer and leaned over the bar to face him. He stared at her for a moment and took a long swig of his beer. “What were you doing before I got here?”
“I was sitting out back on the deck.”
“Oh, and is that your usual lounging attire?” he asked with a curious smile and pointed his bottle toward her.
Carma looked down and laughed, happy that she had enough sense to be wearing clothes. “No, I worked out on the bag when I got home.”
“The bag?”
“Yeah, my body bag. It’s great for stress relief.”
“Okay, that makes more sense.”
“You want to sit out on the deck? It’s my favorite place to be,” she told
him.
“I would love to.”
Carma led Mike out onto the back deck. Luckily, her eye caught Melissa’s diary before Mike saw it just sitting on the loveseat in the open and she was able to shove it under the cushion before he had even taken two steps onto the back deck.
Carma, sitting down on the loveseat, told Mike, “Mike, please have a seat anywhere you want. Make yourself at home.”
Carma was pleasantly surprised when Mike sat next to her on the loveseat. She took a deep breath, feeling completely content at the moment, sitting here with Mike, both of them sipping on a cold beer, staring at the water, listening to it slapping on the rocks. After a few minutes of silence, Carma realized that the silence wasn’t awkward, but actually comfortable.
“So, how have things been?” Mike asked.
“Frustrating, actually. I’ve been so busy with this case.”
“I bet. Do you have any suspects yet?”
“Unfortunately, no. We have had a few developments come up that need our attention though, so we’ll see.”
“Well, hopefully it’ll lead to something.”
“Hopefully. How’s Kirsten doing with all of it?”
“I don’t think it’s entirely set in yet. They’ve been close friends for so long, it’s like she doesn’t know how to act without her.”
“That’s understandable. I know it isn’t easy,” Carma said, remembering how it felt to cut Mary out of her life. At the time, Mary hadn’t died yet, but she grieved her loss all the same, “If you don’t mind, I’d really like to not talk about work.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“It’s all right. This case is depressing and brings back some painful memories.”
“Speaking of, you never told me the real reason why you shut yourself off from us all those years ago. Did either of us do something wrong?”
“Oh, Mike, that was so long ago. I loved Mary. She was my best friend ever since we were little.”
“Oh, so it was me then?”
“We’re adults now so I can be honest with you without things getting weird, right?”
“Of course.”
Carma, suddenly feeling as though she may pass out, took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She could not believe she was going to tell him. She opened her mouth to speak, but shut it quickly.
This is going to be difficult, she thought to herself.
Those words had never been spoken aloud nor were they ever supposed to be. She had every intention of taking that secret to her grave, but for some reason she had an unstoppable urge to tell him now. Maybe coming clean and telling him will help her to finally get over him. It was a sad thought, but after twenty years of longing for him, it was finally enough time.
“Truthfully, Mike, I wasn’t able to be around you.”
“Why?” Mike asked.
“Because…” She paused and looked toward the water, hoping it would give her strength to say the words she’s kept buried all these years. “…I was in love with you, and I’m not talking about a silly teenager crush, but butterflies deep in the pit of my stomach in love.”
Mike stared at her for a moment before responding. “I didn’t know that.”
She finally looked at him, wondering if he was serious or not. “Come on, you had to know. Do you remember that night at Trudy Creeley’s party?”
Mike stared off into the dark blue sky and within a few seconds began to smile at the old memory. “Yes, I think so. We all went there together, right?”
“We normally did back then.”
“Didn’t we play spin the bottle or something?”
“Good guess, but it doesn’t count since that game was played at all the parties back then. I wonder if kids still play that little game. But yes, it was the first time we had to kiss and afterwards, I got so drunk that I almost made a move on you. I wanted to so badly and I was so close, but I knew I couldn’t.” She stared back at the water. “I couldn’t do that to Mary. After that was when I started to put the distance between us. It was too hard to be around you knowing I could never be with you.”
He stared at her with wide eyes. “Wow, I am in total shock!”
“Yeah well, now that I’ve told you, I want you to forget it,” she said, her eyes pleading.
“How am I supposed to do that?”
“Like this . . . so how have you been? It’s been so long since we’ve really talked. You seeing anyone yet?”
Mike looked at her confused, but then laughed. “I was but it didn’t work out.”
“That sucks.”
“It does, but what can you do? How about you? Why hasn’t some lucky guy snatched you up yet?”
“Like you, I’ve dated some but no one stuck. It’s probably for the best. I stay so busy anyway. I find it hard dating regular guys. With my job and the strange hours that go along with it, sometimes I wonder if the only guys I can date are ones in my line of work.”
“I’m sure it’s harder on you, being a woman and all.”
“And what do you mean by that?” she asked him, raising an eye brow at him.
“Just that most guys expect women to be soft and vulnerable and available whenever the mood strikes them. You, on the other hand, are a strong and capable woman with a demanding career. For some poor unsuspecting guy, you probably seem extremely intimidating.”
“So you think I’m destined to be alone? Thanks,” she said with a playful stare.
“I didn’t say that.” He held his hand up at her in mock defense.
Mike, while staring at her, brushed back a piece of wet copper hair that had fallen into her eyes. He leaned in and softly brushed his lips against hers, but quickly pulled away expecting to get an earful and concerned that he had just made a huge mistake. Instead of her yelling at him or slapping him across the face, he was pleasantly surprised when Carma grabbed the back of his head and pulled him back in and crushed her lips to his.
“Is this okay?” he asked breathlessly in her lips.
Carma reluctantly pulled back and gazed into his dark brown eyes before untangling her hands from his hair and staring down at her lap. “I don’t know, Mike.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said.
“It’s just that it has been so long since we have been friends and I have imagined this moment for most of my life. I’d hate to start it off like this,” she admitted to him.
“Like what?” Mike asked her.
“You coming over here and us starting a heated make-out session after years of friendly pleasantries in between long bouts of silence and distance.”
“Well then, would you like to go out with me?”
“Like a date?”
“Yeah, like a date. I could pick you up, pay for dinner and everything.”
Carma laughed and nodded. “Yeah, I would like that.”
Mike stood up, grabbing her hand as Carma stayed seated while staring up at him. He gently pressed his lips to her hand and lightly kissed it. Looking in her eyes, he asked, “Can I pick you up at seven o’clock tomorrow night?”
“That would be great.”
“Till then,” he said, kissing her hand again before letting it fall into her lap. He then saw himself out, leaving Carma dazed and overwhelmed as she stared out onto the peaceful river.
Chapter Thirteen
Carma hated working through the weekends, but the case couldn’t wait. Right now her life and what she wanted was not relevant. Her only priority was finding justice for those dead kids, and hopefully before another kid was murdered. She would have plenty of time afterwards to work on her own blossoming love life.
Carma and Harold headed out early the following morning through the long country roads until they reached the Marks’ trailer in Vandemere. Harold kept sneaking glances in Carma’s direction as they drove, but she didn’t seem to notice.
“What’s wrong with you today,” he finally asked her, with a curious smirk on his face.
“What do you mean?” she asked nonchalantly, keeping her eyes on
the road.
“You seem different.”
“Is it a crime to be happy?” she asked, finally looking at him.
“For you? Probably.” Harold didn’t say anything else, but continued to stare at her questionably.
Feeling his heavy stare, she turned to him. “Okay, fine. Let’s just say I may have found a reason to stay.”
Harold stared at her shocked. “Did you get laid?”
“Good God, Harold! That’s kind of personal, don’t you think? But if you must know, no, I did not.”
“Uh-huh. You got that ‘I just got lucky’ glow, but you keep your secrets,” he said, shaking his head teasingly.
They fell into silence before Harold finally spoke again in a more serious tone. “So, Mrs. Marks is home today?”
“That’s what she said when I called yesterday. Apparently it’s the only day she has off work. Unfortunately for us, it has to be on a Saturday.”
“And Mr. Marks?” Harold asked.
“Work,” Carma stated.
“Great. Maybe she’ll be a little more helpful about the inner workings of her son than her husband,” Harold suggested somewhat sarcastically. “Did you hear tomorrow is Melissa Cooley’s funeral?”
“Yeah, I saw it in the paper.”
“It’s sad that Mr. and Mrs. Marks can’t bury their son yet,” Harold added.
“Well, there’s still an ongoing investigation,” Carma told him. “Not to mention the fact that since Melissa’s death was a lot more straightforward and an obvious murder, her autopsy was able to be done a lot faster. Ronald’s case is a little different, even though Linda at the M.E.’s office is considering his death a homicide, but it could still be suicide. Hopefully, the results will be in soon.”
“I sure hope that between our investigation and her forensic findings, we find some kind of evidence as to who did this very soon,” Harold said, trying to sound hopeful.
Too Close to Home (The Forensic Files) Page 10
