by Jayne Rylon
When he looked back, Everly was still staring between his legs. Her expression was unreadable.
“I’m sorry,” they said simultaneously.
She continued, “Don’t apologize. This is your home. I shouldn’t be harassing you like this. Don’t tell my boss I practically assaulted you, please? I thought—well, anyway, obviously I thought wrong. I swear it won’t happen again. I think you should change the code to your locks. Don’t give it to me this time.”
Everly turned to leave, most likely about to walk out of his life for good.
Gabriel caught her arm in his wet hand. Drops of water rolled down her tan skin, leaving goose bumps he wanted nothing more than to lick until she heated up properly. “Hey, it’s not like that. While I may be a sinner, I’m not about to bring a good woman like you down with me.”
“Oh, please. You’re more likely to go to hell for leaving me hanging all the time than you would be for throwing me a quick fuck. It’s fine if you’re just not into me like that.” Her lower lip wobbled as she stared out at the gleaming New York City skyline. “I don’t think I can do this anymore. Be near you and not have you, I mean.”
“I’ll always be here for you if you need me.” That was an easy promise to make. He cared for her. He just didn’t know what to do with those feelings. They were too tangled in his hang-ups to sort them out.
“Not like I want.” She shook her head. “That’s becoming obvious. The timing is bad. You’re not ready for more and I shouldn’t make you feel shitty about that. I didn’t mean to push—”
“Everly?” There were a lot of things in his life he regretted. He didn’t want this to be more fuel for the fire burning him alive. He might not have resolved the issues that had plagued him earlier, making it too hard to go out, but maybe this was a sign. He could work on getting one critical aspect of his life in order, at least.
“Hmm?” She peeked over her shoulder, her face partially obscured by a veil of wavy hair, slightly less perfect than usual where it had gotten wet. A flash of running his fingers through it—brushing out the tangles, soothing her for once—inspired him.
Gabriel took a huge gulp of air, then asked, “Will you come over for dinner? I’m an idiot and I have no idea what I’m doing here. But if you really want to see if there’s something between us, let’s try to do this right. Civilized. Proper. Let me cook for you so we can talk.”
God knew he had enough cash to take her to the fanciest restaurant in the entire city or, hell, even charter a private jet to take them to Paris for a romantic night out. But he couldn’t speak as openly with her in a restaurant as he could in his home.
Helping her understand how ruined he was inside and why was something he’d been dying to do for a while now. Would what he had to say finally chase her away?
It’d probably be for the best if it did.
So why did that thought scare him more than leaving his old life behind had?
Either way, it was up to her now. It was time he came clean and let her decide where they went from here.
Everly wrung her hands as she considered his invitation. It actually made him feel less like shit that she hesitated long enough to really think it over before saying, “I’d like that.”
“Your shift is over at six, right?”
She nodded.
“I’ll have dinner ready,” he promised.
“Thank you. I have a feeling I’m going to be hungry as hell.” She licked her lips, as if swiping the lingering taste of him into her mouth.
Christ!
Before he could figure out how to respond, she finished drying herself off, straightened her skirt, and collected her shoes. Everly gave Goliath a pat on the head before disappearing through the penthouse.
Gabriel tried not to stare at her ass.
He failed at that, too. Damn him.
2
Everly should be doing her damn job. Instead, she ignored the financial reports open on her computer and spun her chair around. She fluffed her hair and checked her reflection in the enormous window for the 4,723rd time since locking herself in her office after her encounter with Gabriel earlier that afternoon. She was pretty sure no one else could tell how utterly he’d wrecked her with a single kiss.
Okay, a kiss where he’d been gloriously naked and aroused. But still… It wasn’t as if she was some blushing schoolgirl. She knew what to do with a man and a cock—even one as impressive as Gabriel’s. It was the other, more complicated, emotional aspects of their relationship she had no idea how to deal with.
Her eyes glazed over as she internally debated between jumping him and only going upstairs later to tell him that she shouldn’t—no, couldn’t—risk her career by getting entangled with him. Too late, she chastised herself. She’d been hooked on him since the moment they met. Trying to save him from himself had become one of her favorite pastimes.
Maybe tonight he’d finally open up so she could figure out how to help him heal.
If she could make any sort of positive difference in his life, it would be worth the repercussions if something blew up at work. Not that she was going to let their personal relationship interfere with her professional life. No one had to know. It wasn’t technically against any rules if they dated.
Movement outside caught her attention, temporarily distracting her from her obsession with Gabriel. Though the higher floors of Beekman Place were reserved for luxury apartments that came with steep price tags, she thought her view on the ground floor was stunning all the same. She loved the whiz of traffic going by and bustling people parading to and from work, the park, or wherever it was they were in such a hurry to reach. The city would always be her happy place. It was full of variety, new experiences, and never got dull. After landing her dream job straight out of Cornell University’s hospitality management program, she’d thought she had everything she could ever want.
And then she’d met Gabriel.
Hanging out with him had given her something other than work to look forward to for the past few months. Sure, she’d used taking extra good care of Goliath—their resident hero—as a bit of an excuse to see his owner more. But who could blame her?
Truth was, she was fascinated with the rogue priest who’d moved in and taken over her imagination. What had caused him to forsake everything he’d dedicated his life to? How could someone so indoctrinated in a way of thinking suddenly change their mind?
It took a strong person to wake up and toss away everything they thought they knew for new ideals. Look at politics. Despite endless debate and attempts at persuasion, not many people ever reconsidered their positions, preferring to tell the other side why they were wrong rather than listen to what might have been sound arguments.
Gabriel had done more than that. For reasons he’d never shared with her, he’d embraced dissent and weighed the evidence logically, breaking from everything he’d ever known. Yet he seemed fragile at times, and utterly lost. Out of place.
Selfless, funny, and tortured, he’d made her want to smother him in hugs and make him feel welcome from the moment she’d met him. Today she’d done a lot more than that. Hopefully she hadn’t shoved him away in the process of trying to wrap herself tight enough around him to block out his haunting past.
She was about to find out for sure.
Her clock ticked over to six. Despite how long the afternoon had dragged on, suddenly she wasn’t sure she could do this. What if this didn’t go well?
Everly wasn’t ready to lose contact with her favorite resident.
She stood up, adjusted her skirt, then locked her office door before heading to the exclusive elevator used by the owners of the six penthouses at the very pinnacle of Beekman Place. She’d gotten to know each one of them personally and even considered a few of them—like Gabriel, and Casey, who lived next door to him—solid friends.
She prided herself in running the entire building like a well-oiled machine. So what would she do if Gabriel decided to complain about her to her boss? Maybe s
he should turn around and call him to let him know she’d delegate the handling of his account to her assistant from now on.
She definitely should.
But she didn’t.
Couldn’t.
Whether he knew it or not, Gabriel needed her. Day after day, he grew more gaunt, more troubled and tense. Soon he was going to spiral out of control. He had to vent or he’d zoom off the top of this skyscraper in loop-the-loops like a balloon that had sprung a leak before plummeting to the ground more than a hundred stories below.
The thought made her clap her hand over her cramping guts.
It wasn’t the first time she’d worried for him. Had serious concerns. That was why she wasn’t running away when every bit of professionalism in her was screaming at her to turn around and go home.
With shaking fingers, she lifted her hand and knocked lightly on his front door despite the fact that she had a master code to every unit in the building.
Goliath didn’t even bark. While the soundproofing was plenty good enough for humans, he’d come to know her footsteps or something. He never made a peep when she visited anymore, yet he was always right there waiting. This time was no exception.
Gabriel opened the door. She barely had time to register the tight smile on his face before Goliath gave her a much warmer welcome. He nearly knocked her over when he turned circles around her ankles, whacking her repeatedly with his massive, fluffy tail while he gave her hands extra-sloppy kisses with his ginormous tongue.
“Easy, boy.” Gabriel kept the dog from jumping up. Though Goliath would never intentionally hurt her, he sometimes seemed to think he was a tiny puppy or a toy breed that would fit in a purse. It would be easy for him to knock her off balance in her heels. “You have to back off if you want her to come inside. Goliath, sit.”
The dog obeyed instantly, though his eyes still shone with the desire to smother her with endless love and affection. If only his owner would do the same—they could skip dinner and go straight to decadent dessert.
Everly petted the dog, but out of the corner of her eyes she studied Gabriel. Despite the fact that he wasn’t panting like the dog, she still had his rapt attention.
“Hungry?” he asked.
“Starving.” Just not for food. Something had to give or she was going to need to buy stock in her favorite vibrator company. She’d already gone through two since he’d moved in.
Gabriel grinned. It was obvious they had a lot in common. Taking care of others was something they both enjoyed. He rested his hand on her elbow and guided her across the shiny, and slick, marble floor to the formal dining room.
The grand table could easily seat a dozen people. However, he’d only set two places. One was at the head of the table, and the seat right next to it around the corner had a full service of plates, utensils, and linens prepared. A fresh floral arrangement sat nearby, surrounded by burning candles. It seemed he’d even dipped into the temperature- and humidity-controlled wine room to make their evening special. A bottle sat open, the deep burgundy liquid decanting between two elegant glasses.
“Sit and I’ll bring the food.” He held her chair, then scooted it in so she was comfortable. Oddly so considering she could never have dreamed of affording this place. It hadn’t been her goal to keep moving up, like their friend Casey had dreamed of since she was a little girl. Everly was content with the life she’d made for herself.
But this wasn’t bad either.
She sat at the table, twirling a fine linen napkin between her fingers while Gabriel carted out enough dishes to feed the entire top floor of the building Thanksgiving dinner. It felt strange to have someone waiting on her, though it seemed normal for Gabriel.
It was easy to forget the purpose behind the meal. It could have been any of the nights she’d spent in the more casual living area, introducing him to the great TV shows he’d missed over the past two decades. For a while, she let them pretend and get settled into their quasi-familiar routines. Not for too long though. Neither of them enjoyed conflict. It would be too easy to ignore the dissonance underlying their civil display.
It would be cowardly not to delve deeper when he’d finally given her a tiny crack in his shields to slip through. She gathered her nerve.
“I’m not sure where to begin this discussion.” Everly concentrated on spearing the next ravioli on her fork before taking a large gulp of the best wine she’d ever tasted. The awkward pause that followed her declaration sucked. In all the evenings they’d spent together recently, conversation had never been hard to come by.
“Me either.” He shrugged and chewed for a long time before swallowing, as if it was difficult to choke down the amazing food he’d prepared. “You know, I heard a hell of a lot of confessions in my time as a priest. I’m not sure I ever realized how much courage it took people to share their secrets with me. At least they had the shadows of the stall to hide in and the screen between us so they didn’t have to face me while they unburdened themselves.”
“Is that what you plan to do tonight? Tell me your sins?” She squinted at him, unable to truly believe he’d committed any. He was a decent man. She was sure of it. He’d never intentionally hurt someone.
He set his fork and knife down very deliberately, then looked directly into her eyes. “Yes.”
3
“Would it help if we turned out the lights and hid under your sheets?” Everly meant it as a joke. The suggestion fell flat. Probably because both of them were imagining much better ways to spend a night in bed together.
He chuckled. “Pretty sure that would only make things harder.”
If by things he meant his cock, she thought silently. She was down for that. Judging by his reaction to her solicitation in the pool, he might not be.
Still, he called out to the home automation interface and had it dim the overhead lights so the only glow in the room came from the candles he’d lit.
It seemed oddly intimate and intense. Deep shadows flickered over half of his face, making her think of a man stuck in purgatory, caught between right and wrong. Curiosity was killing her since she only knew one side of him.
She blurted, “Why did you leave the church? Every time you’ve talked about your life before, it sounds like you enjoyed helping people and were devoted to your beliefs. What could make a man like you turn your back on that?”
It was the question that had been plaguing her for months. If he could bail on such a lofty calling, would he ever be capable of being faithful to anything?
“Technically, they kicked me out. Excommunicated me, to be exact. It was more of a formality. They knew I was leaving and had to make it seem like it was their decision to keep everyone left behind in line. I couldn’t stay after I realized everything I believed in had been a lie.” His gorgeous lips, which usually smiled so easily, curled into a sneer. “They made me think I was saving souls. That the organization was doing the most good of any on the planet. Really, though, it’s just another greedy machine. At the top it’s all about politics, wealth, and power. Little people be damned. They’ll say or do anything so long as it keeps blind faith and devotion to the religion growing. That’s not what I signed up for.”
Everly choked down a bite of her bread. Though delicious, it suddenly seemed hard to stomach. What could make someone as positive and uplifting as Gabriel so bitter? It was a question she hadn’t found the courage to ask him even after they started hanging out more and more.
“What did they do to you?” She laid her hands flat on the table so she wouldn’t be tempted to pick up her knife and start stabbing people. It had to be bad to push him so far away from everything he’d ever believed in.
“They asked me to turn a blind eye to pure evil. To allow it to fester and poison innocent young people.” He threw his napkin onto his plate in a ball, his appetite clearly demolished.
“That doesn’t sound like your style,” she said cautiously, hoping he wouldn’t stop there.
Gabriel scrubbed his hands over his
face, knuckling his eyes as if trying to erase a memory. Something he’d seen. “I couldn’t have lived with myself if I didn’t try to stop it.”
“What exactly are you talking about?” She desperately wanted to reach out, to hold his hand and comfort him. The way he curled in on himself made her fairly certain he wouldn’t welcome her touch right then.
When he dropped his fists and stared at her, she couldn’t avoid the agony in his gaze. “I discovered a priest abusing a child. Somehow I managed not to rip him apart with my bare hands on sight. It was the first time in my life I’d ever considered violence even for a moment. Instead, I snapped a few pictures with my cell phone. Then I backed up and made a huge racket coming down the hall, and claimed to need help moving some seats around, to get the kid out of there. I wanted to help him, but I didn’t know how. I tried to talk to him, but he got freaked out that I was going to use what I’d seen against him, maybe to do the same thing. He ran into the night and I still don’t know what happened to him, because after that everything fell apart.”
There were so many things Everly wanted to say, but none of them seemed right or helpful. Instead, she listened to him as her stomach rolled and her heart broke for Gabriel and the victim he obviously hadn’t been able to save.
“I immediately reported what I’d seen to the bishop. And…” Gabriel swallowed hard, shaking his head in disbelief. His eyes were glazed, as if he were there in his mind, reliving the experience. “He asked for my phone, to see the pictures for himself. When I handed it to him, he deleted the evidence and ordered me to keep silent. I was stunned. Of course I’d heard the stories. There are too many to discount. Still, I thought my parish was different. They weren’t. Aren’t.”
Son of a bitch. Everly was glad they hadn’t eaten more. Otherwise she might have been sick at the thought. “Oh, Gabriel. I’m so sorry. Of course you left. Of course you would.”
