by Livvy Aarons
I didn’t have to dig deep to find my misery. You’re right; I had a moment of weakness. But I am not going to run from him, I said silently.
She sighed, “Fine—I’ll wait for you at the main bar.”
My mood turned darker the closer I got to Aidan. “What do you want to talk about?”
He’s face tensed, “Tristan was telling the truth. I thought that he was just saying that to distance us.”
“Well I guess it proves the point that not even you are perfect. So did you come to drive the stake in a little further or did you come to see what a freak show I am?” The acid in my voice was heavy. Aidan shook his head, “No I thought—”
I cut him off, letting my temper loose. “You thought I would still be waiting for you to come back, melting at the sheer sight of you.” His eyes went flat, seeing my wreckage in full color. “I remember how you told me that I was pathetic, that I was a liar…that you didn’t want me anymore.” I turned away hoping to save the ounce of dignity I had left. I needed something to help me deal. Julie and a bottle of Grey Goose sounded perfect.
Shortly Pete walked on stage, I assumed to welcome back Aidan and I ignored the stabbing pain in my chest. Tonight was going to kill me all over again.
The irony of dying on my birthday, a single spec in time.
* * * *
“Julie hand me that green bottle, second to the left.” I said, pointing to the liquor shelf behind the bar.
Without question she gave me the bottle of Jägermeister and sat out five shot glasses. “How can you drink that stuff?” She asked, her mouth twisting in disgust. “I heard that they put deer blood in it.”
I poured the shot glasses full, “Then it will be a perfect sacrifice; now drink up, I’ve only got fifteen minutes to give shit faced.” Aidan’s band had been playing for the last two hours, driving my sanity into the ground and haunting my soul. When Julie didn’t make a move on the shots, I threw them back one after another until all five glasses were empty then refilled them. This time I nudged two glasses in Julie’s direction, “Happy Birthday to me.” Julie held her nose as she drank her two shots, making a face after each one. “My god Jules they’re not that bad.” I mumbled. The warming effects of the liquor were kicking in as I turned around staring at the stage. Behold my beautiful nightmare. Why can’t I just forgive and forget?
“Because you are protecting yourself and even if you can forgive him; you’ll never be able to forget.” Julie answered my silent question then refilled our shot glasses. Quickly I downed them trying desperately to numb the agony swelling inside. Between the alcohol, the overcrowded bar and my ex singing on stage; I needed some fresh air. “Go ahead Kenny—I’ll watch your tables.” Julie patted my hand. I gave her a silent thanks then wobbled out the side door.
There was a gentle breeze outside which was a welcoming relief from the furnace inside. I found a spot to sit on the curb and tried to relax but all too soon I realized that even sitting on the sidewalk Aidan intruded my thoughts. It’s funny how eight months changes a person. When the music disappeared I knew my break was over so I dusted off the back of my shorts and stumble back inside. The door was heavier than I remember, pushing me forward as it closed. Of course as the bitch fate would have it, Tristan was there to catch my fall. “I am so sorry little one, it should have been me who told you.”
I shoved against his chest to free myself but it was useless. “Great, now I have your pity.”
Tristan closed his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief. “McKenna you are not even close.” In a rare moment he seemed less of a demon and more of a man; I stopped fighting to get away. Slowly I wrapped my arms around his neck and he followed suite, pulling me tight against him. Loneliness consumed me, the need for someone to show me any affection was overwhelming. Tristan pulled away slightly to kiss me but it was too gentle for my dark mood. I licked at the seam of his lips, waiting for them to part and I didn’t have to wait long. Tristan took over and soon I found myself pressed against the wall with my legs wrapped around his waist.
I shamelessly rubbed against Tristan’s hard body, creating a heat that was pooling low in my belly. With a groan he pulled away then whispered in my ear, “We have company little one.” He didn’t have to tell me who it was, I already knew. “Come to watch Aidan?” I asked dryly.
Tristan had barely backed away when I heard Aidan snarl then knocked him to the ground. “You keep your filthy hands off of her demon!”
“Why so you can hurt her again and again?” Tristan asked coldly.
Aidan froze mid punch to stare at me, which was when my eyes come in to focus. “Oh my God—you have already gone through the change.” A normal person wouldn’t have heard me but neither of them were normal. “You’re eyes are glowing purple and your wing buds are spouting…the growth spurt should have tipped me off but I guess my temper overruled my judgments.” I was sure that my eyes were as big as saucers.
“Amazing isn’t she.” Tristan boosted, giving me a devilish grin. I could feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment.
Aidan took a pained breath, “More than you know.”
The knife inside my chest twisted at both of their tender words. “I-I have to go.” I mumbled as I sprinted towards the main bar area. Quickly I got to work with the thirsty crowd that was sitting in my section. For once, I was thankful for the huge crowd to keep me busy. I just could not deal with my shit right now…my head was a scrambled mess and my heart was nothing more than a rotting landfill.
After a few hours of having Aidan and Tristan watch my every move I felt even more confused. I had so many questions for Aidan but the one that stuck out above the rest was—why did he come back? Tristan on the other hand was a different matter, the way he watched me was arousing; like I was the most beautiful girl in the world. If I wasn’t a steaming pile of dog crap I may have believed such a lie. When the bar finally closed, I quickly turned my tip money into Pete then waved goodbye to Julie. She could hear my pleading wishes to run to my car so she knew my motives for not chatting her up. The parking lot was virtually empty, with the exception of a few cars clustered in the back; Tristan’s beauty was among them. It was stupid of me to think that just because he stared at me as he did, that he wouldn’t give in to his true nature. After all Tristan is a demon, a demon of lust at that. Lost in my thoughts I did not notice Aidan leaning against my car until I was only a few feet away. Fishing my keys from my bag, I ignored him as I got in my car then started the engine. Aidan surprised me by opening the passenger door. Shocked I asked, “How the hell did you open the door?”
He looked uncomfortable for a moment then shut the door. “Happy Birthday I guess, your door has been fixed.”
The awkward silence filled the car but my inner turmoil was at war with my exhaustion. Sapped of energy, I laid my forehead against the steering wheel. “What do you want Aidan?” The defeat in my voice was thick.
“I need you McKenna; I was so stupid to leave you like that. I am doomed to become a monster without you. There was a time that you told me that you love me-”
Frustrated I pushed away from the steering wheel and cut him off. “Now that’s not fair! You told me the same thing at one time and yet you still left me.”
His shoulders slumped forward, “I still love you—I never stopped; it was just too much to take in. I did not want to believe anything like this could exist. Surely, you can understand what it is like to resist all of this crap. Please McKenna…I need you.” Aidan was pleading. The depths of his beautiful greens eyes were inviting, chanting seductively for me to submerge myself in them. My heart wanted to feel the cool waters that they promised would heal the burning, empty shell it had become. The plunge was frightening and I knew that when I fell it would hurt. However, I did not know just how bad it would hurt. The vibration of my phone receiving a text broke the spell; it was Tristan. I read the text quickly hoping Aidan did not see what it said.
After putting my phone away, he asked the question I knew wa
s coming. “Who was that?”
Damn! It really was not his business but a small part of me wanted to rub salt in his wounds. “Tristan—we are going to the Spring Gala together tomorrow. I guess he felt sorry for me or something.”
Aidan did not give me the reaction I wanted; instead, he found it amusing. “Pity has nothing to do with it princesses but there is no way in hell that I am letting you go with him. You have no idea of what he is capable of doing to you.”
Obviously, he had double standards and it was time I take him down a peg. “Listen Aidan, I know Tristan is a demon. I know that he is a four thousand year old demon that could hurt me physically, invade the inner caverns of my mind with perverse acts and he probably wouldn’t even bat an eyelash. However, all of that does not even compare to the pain you caused me when you shredded my one ounce of happiness. So go fuck yourself with that apology you just gave me if you think you can order me around—I am too damn tired to fight with you about this.” He bowed his head in defeat at my cold words.
“If this is goodbye could I at least kiss you one last time?” Aidan languidly lifted his head then gave me a bone-melting grin. That should have been a warning for what was to come. Instead of waiting for my reply, Aidan sprang into action grabbing my shoulders and planting his lips firmly on mine. At first, I struggled trying desperately to push him away but as soon as he teased my mouth with his tongue, I caught just a taste that was strangely…delicious. The fingers that were clawing at his leather jacket now were clutching the supple fabric in a way so that he could not get away. I felt feverish as I switched between nibbling on his lips and suckling his tongue. However, the pleasurable euphoria was quickly receding to a dizzy wave of nausea. Panicking I began to push against him once again; he let me go this time. I somehow was able to get the door open quickly enough to not humiliate myself by puking in Aidan’s lap. The spinning was slow to stop once my stomach was empty, the embarrassment was a different issue. I shut the door and found a tissue on the steering wheel. Unable to look at Aidan, I wiped my mouth then mumbled “Thanks.”
“I am sorry McKenna; this is my fault.”.
I cut my eyes at him, “That’s ridiculous—I drank too much and got overheated.”
“Tristan told me that this could happen.”
When Aidan didn’t continue I began to worry. “Explain what he told you exactly.”
He sighed , “Tristan said that you could have a reaction to my sweat or saliva. Apparently there are some humans and other beings that find it very intoxicating, while it is toxic to others.”
Silently I wondered why it made me sick but fatigue outweighed my curiosity at the moment. “Fabulous, can I go now before I pass out driving home?”
“Of course but can I ask you for a favor?” Aidan quietly asked.
“Sure, why not.” I said yawning deeply then glanced in his direction. Seeing that he was giving me his innocent puppy dog eyes; I knew that this was going to be bad.
He did not disappoint, “Could I stay at your house for a couple of days? I can’t go back to Paul’s house right now. Please I don’t trust anyone else.”
Barely could I believe my ears, Aidan was pushing my limits. I sat in silence for a minute debating my decision and as soon as I came to one; I knew that it was the one of my downfall. “Fine—but this does not mean that we are together or anything like that; I am not even your friend. The only thing keeping me from telling you hell no is my mother. She would be disappointed if I turned you out into the streets without a place to sleep. So what will it be—pity or pride?”
Aidan didn’t bat an eyelash at my snide remarks, he was all smiles. “Thank you darlin’; I gladly pick your pity over my pride.”
I let his endearment slip, not bothering with an argument and put the car in gear to head home. All the way home, he talked about this and that but I did not pay him any attention. My mind was moving at hypersonic speeds trying to figure out a way to deal with the mess I was creating. Regardless of what path I took, every scenario had a tragic ending. If I allowed myself to get back involved with this chaos what would be the consequences? For starters, I was still on probation, any attempt on leaving the state without my probation officer’s okay meant a possibility of prison; a real prison not just a juvenile detention center this time. My list grew longer and longer but as I reached the final reason for me to stay out of this fight I immediately thought of Aidan. If I ignored him, going on with my meaningless life I would be condemning him to an eternity of servitude collecting souls. The guilt from that alone could send someone over the edge…just like my mother. By the time I pulled into the driveway I had a headache from my inner arguments and to make matters worse my father was at home. “Great…this should be fun.” Aidan nodded, understanding that he was to remain silent. We tip toed through the dark house without causing any commotion but we were not as stealthy on the stairs; every step squeaked under our weight. I had made it to the top of the stairs with Aidan right behind me when Ben’s door opened. Thankfully the house was pitch black with the only light coming from his room spilling into the hallway. “McKenna is that you?” Ben whispered rubbing his eyes.
“Yeah it’s me—go back to bed.”
Instead of doing what I said Ben stood there staring “You have someone with you; they smell funny.”
Stepping closer to block his view I had to act quickly or my brother would ask more questions. “Julie is with me; I think someone spilled chili fries or something on her so she had to douse herself in perfume. Now will you please go back to your room before you wake up dad?”
Reluctantly Ben went back to his room but before he shut his door, he glanced in the direction of the dark stairwell. “By the way McKenna you owe me big time for keeping this a secret. I didn’t even tell him about those letters I found. Dad may be too busy to notice most things, especially the little things but I don’t and I know that you are lying.” He didn’t even bother saying goodnight.
When I heard Ben’s bedsprings creak, I grabbed Aidan’s shirt dragging him into my room. For my own sanity, I locked the door and shoved my desk chair under the doorknob.
“Isn’t that a fire hazard?” Aidan chuckled.
I whipped around to find him tossing my clothes from the loveseat that I had in the sitting area. “You’ll thank me when your pictures don’t end up on the internet.”
He shrugged, “Doesn’t matter. It’s not like I have anyone that would care either way.”
Inwardly I cursed myself for pointing out his loneliness and decided to ignore him while I dressed for bed. It was when I found the birthday present from Tristan on my pillow that Aidan made his presence known once again. “Is it from your dad?”
“Um—I’m not sure really.” It wasn’t a lie; the small black and gold box could be from anyone. I just did not find it necessary to include that I was expecting a gift from Tristan. Opening the box slowly, I immediately saw a set of sapphire earrings that glittered in the light; taped to the bottom of the box was a note.
I bought them to match your beautiful eyes. Happy Birthday
Love
~Tristan~
I stared at the note until Aidan’s voice startled me into action. “What did he get you?”
“Just a pair of earrings for the dance I guess.” I said nervously shoving the box in my nightstand then turned the lamp off. Quickly I tossed a pillow his direction and retreated in to my bed. “Night” I said hurriedly.
“Goodnight McKenna.”
Today had totally drained me; mentally, physically and emotionally. I was hoping that this was all a nightmare and soon I would wake up in my room all alone. Maybe if I squeeze my eyes shut really hard and click my heels together it would all fade away. The bad news was that the nightmares had just begun.
Chapter 13:
Nightmare of my Fairytale
Drip…Drip…The sound of a leaky faucet stirred me from my sleep haze. When I fully opened my eyes, I still could see nothing through the pitch black. Cautiously
I stood up with my arms outstretched feeling for a light switch. After a few minutes of searching, I did not find a light switch or anything to clue me in on where I was but I did find a door. The door felt like an ordinary wooden one with the exception of the ice-cold metal handle. Clutching the handle I heisted but only for a moment and pushed the door open slowly. Curiosity was going to be the death of me one day. As I entered, the light from the room nearly blinded me and after a few seconds of letting my eyes adjust, I scanned the room for any triggers for the location. There was nothing familiar; the room looked like an average bathroom—plain but normal. The dripping sound caught my attention again and immediately I began to look for the source; luckily it was a small bathroom. After running to the sink, I shut off the water but avoided looking into the mirror above. My grandmother had once told me that some mirrors could trap souls and there were even some that could be used a portals to unknown worlds; most people thought she was crazy. Despite her wisdom she gave me I was unable to resist testing her theory. The only thing I saw in the mirror was my reflection and the bathroom in the background, but my relief was short lived—there was someone in the tub. Quickly I spun around to stare at the familiar face; flashbacks of my mother flooded my senses. Was this a nightmare...a hallucination? I tried to separate the images but the past and present melted together in a sea of agony. As I reached the edge of the tub my mother’s lifeless face began to transform into something more horrifying—my own.
Violently I shook my head trying to clear the obvious mind trick however, the image would not fade and bile rose heavy in my mouth. I swallowed convulsively forcing the sickness back down to my stomach and then with trembling fingers, I touched the ashen face; it was cold. Horrorstruck I snatched my hand back and stumbled backwards away from the blood filled tub. I began to cry, wishing desperately that this nightmare would end. When the coldness in the room turned to a frigid blast, I could sense a presence standing behind and the hair on the back of my neck stood at attention whatever it could be was getting closer. The temperature continued to plunge to a point of where I couldn’t even my hands or feet, which was very, very bad I would not be able to run. Seconds later a dark figure, definitely male, walked by me and continued until he kneeled at the side of the tube. It was at this moment I knew what I watching—my soul was being harvested. Instantly I tried wiping my eyes with my numb hands then studied the dark man in front of me. The man was young looking, dressed in head to toe black and he seemed to be upset. I may not have been able to see his face but given the way his head was drooping and the tension in his body I knew this man was disturbed at finding me dead. It felt wrong to watch his suffering so I looked away only to find myself staring at his boots instead. Funny that even in my nightmares I couldn’t be more imaginative than using the same boots Aidan wore. Suddenly a bolt of electricity went through me…Oh My God! This is Aidan! I wasn’t having some random nightmare; this is a premonition of my future if I didn’t help him. “O-Ok-kay!” I shouted despite my chattering teeth. “I g-get the p-point! Let m-me go ho-home.” Absolutely nothing happened—Aidan didn’t even pay me (the live version anyway) any attention. He sighed heavily and kissed my cheek then moved to the end of the tub where my head lay. I desperately tried to get to my feet and stop him but whoever or whatever that had brought me here was not going to let me interfere. As soon as I got within a foot of the tub an intense jolt of electricity caused my knees to buckle and back to bow in pain. I hit the floor with a heavy thud feeling like a hundred pounds pressed against my chest. Despite the pain, I found strength to keep watching my deadly fate.
