by Elsie Davis
Her father had taught her the difference between needing and wanting, a lesson she’d been forced to apply to a lot of things in life. Some of the wants she couldn’t have just hurt worse than others.
Kayla took Sophia by the arm and led her out of the barn.
“That’s some kind of male testosterone back there in the barn. Hot damn.” Sophia fanned her face.
“Don’t let Ethan hear you say that.” Kayla laughed.
“How is it between you and Dylan? Are you two okay? I was worried you’d be upset with me, but, all things considered, it was the way everything fell into place,” Sophia said.
“It’s okay. All things considered.” Sophia’s words said it all. “It was a long time ago.”
“But you still have feelings, don’t you? I saw the way you were watching him.”
“Hardly. I’ve moved on, and we know I never mattered to him.” Kayla didn’t want to go down this road.
“What if you’re wrong?” Sophia stopped and looked her dead in the eye.
“What do you mean?” she asked, the words tumbling out before she could stop them.
“What if he’s still interested in you?”
She remembered the hungry look in his eyes. It didn’t mean a thing. She’d seen the look once before. “He’s not. And besides, I’m not interested.” Turning up the compost of their past would serve no purpose.
Sophia would be yet another person to add to the list of those disappointed when she made the announcement about her new partnership with the veterinary clinic. Everyone expected her to move home, and there had been many times she’d considered doing that, but all along, she’d known in her heart she could never be this close to Dylan and be happy. No one knew the reality of what kept her away, and telling anyone now wouldn’t change a thing.
Back at the house, Kayla headed for the kitchen in search of her mother and Derek. “How you making out, Derek?” she asked, surprised to see him helping her mother pull a casserole out of the oven.
“I’m helping your mom cook.” He grinned. “I’m feeling better, and she really needed me. Everyone else is too busy to help her.”
Derek was a great kid who obviously wanted to feel needed and to feel important. Just like every other kid. There was nothing wrong with him a little love and attention wouldn’t correct.
“That’s sweet of you. Thanks. Glad you feel better.” Kayla winked.
“You’re growing like a weed, but as handsome as ever, Derek. It’s nice to see you again,” Sophia said, ruffling the boy’s hair.
“Um, thanks I guess. Good to see you, too.” Derek’s face turned red. He was a good-looking kid, just like his brother, but he was clearly not used to compliments.
“Sophia and I are going to sit on the porch swing and chat. You have everything under control here with your assistant?” she asked her mom.
“Everything is right on schedule. Dinner at seven, and then I think everyone’s going to hang out for a while, but not too late. Big day tomorrow. You’ll make a beautiful bride, Sophia.”
“Thanks for letting me have the wedding here, Aunt Mary. I wish my mom and dad were here,” Sophia said, a faraway look on her face.
Her mother reached out to pat her cousin’s arm. “Honey, they are. They are always in our hearts. No one can take that away from you.”
“Thank you,” Sophia said, dropping a kiss on her mother’s cheek.
No truer words could ever be said. Once a person was in your heart, it was impossible to get rid of them. Dylan was proof. In their case, hate was a fine line from love. Both were strong, powerful emotions people had little control over.
“Run along, you two, and have a nice chat. Once those guys get here, you won’t get a word in edgewise.” Her mother shooed them toward the door.
“Don’t we know it,” they both said in unison, laughing.
“Oh, by the way, Kayla, I didn’t think of it yesterday, but the bride and groom can’t sleep together the night before their wedding. We’ll need to put Ethan in the spare room and Sophia in with you.”
“Sure thing. I’ll get the room ready.”
“I don’t want to cause any extra work,” Sophia chimed in.
“It’s not a problem,” her mother said.
They had barely sat down when the group of men came around to the front of the house. The wedding cavalry must have finished their work.
“Hey, guys. Everything done?” Kayla and Sophia stood as the men piled onto the front porch, grabbing chairs wherever they could find one.
“Done as done gets,” Randy said.
Ethan promptly sat down on one of the vacant seats, and planted Sophia on his lap. “Hey, baby, miss me?” Ethan asked, grinning as he nuzzled the side of Sophia’s cheek.
“Get a room, you two. Oh, that’s right, you can’t,” Randy teased. “Wedding night no-no.”
“What do you mean?” Ethan frowned.
“It means you get to sleep alone tonight.” Dylan laughed.
“Where the hell am I supposed to sleep then?” Ethan’s grin disappeared like the setting sun. Slow but sure.
“Mary’s putting Sophia in with Kayla, and you get the spare guest room. She almost forgot the old tradition until I reminded her this afternoon,” Dylan said and grinned. “You don’t want to start your marriage off with bad luck in the bedroom.”
“Laugh all you want, dude, because after tomorrow, I’ll be sleeping with my bride for the rest of my life. Small price to pay for good luck in the bedroom, not that we need luck. Everything’s fine in that department.”
“Ethan!” Sophia gasped.
Ethan’s chuckle turned into hearty laughter at Sophia’s shocked expression. The rest of the guys joined in at Sophia’s expense. Poor girl. Marrying a cowboy was never easy, but damn if it didn’t have some good perks.
“Awww. So sweet and yuck. Boring,” Randy joked.
“Your day will come, and then you’ll be singing a different tune, cowboy,” Kayla spoke up. “Some cute little spitfire is going to wrap you up tight and put a ring on that finger before you can say giddy up.”
“You applying, sugar?” Randy asked her, a wide grin splitting his face.
“No, not likely,” Kayla said.
“Every one of you will meet your special someone someday,” her father chimed in.
“Dinner,” her mother called from in the house. Everyone filed inside, one by one taking a seat at the giant picnic-style table used for old-fashioned family dinners. Home cooking at its finest, and her mom had gone all out for the occasion.
How in the heck she ended up with Dylan next to her was beyond her, but it wouldn’t surprise her if the guys didn’t have it planned that way. Up to no good.
Dylan leaned in close. “Can you pass me the potatoes, please?”
His breath tickled her cheek. A simple question, about potatoes no less, but her heart raced a little faster.
“Everything goes all the way around. You’ll have to wait your turn.”
“I know that. Checking to see if you remember how country folk eat a family dinner. None of the city’s highfalutin ways rubbed off on you yet, have they?” Dylan’s voice sent a warm heat down her spine.
“Who’s watching the bar while you’re here playing groom?” Randy asked Ethan.
“Someone dependable, no worries. I’ve been giving Becky more and more responsibility, so I can relinquish control enough to take my bride on a honeymoon. Tomorrow, I’m closing the place down so all my employees can attend.”
Becky? It was a small town, but surely he didn’t mean Becky McAllister.
“Wow. He must really love you, darling. I don’t think the place has ever been closed since his daddy opened it up twenty years ago.” Randy spoke to Sophia, but everyone nodded in agreement.
“That’s good to hear considering half the fire department will be here dancing and drinking. One less place open is one less place to have a problem and pull me away,” Tommy added.
“I’ve given the ra
nch hands the day off after the morning rounds,” Dylan said. “I wouldn’t want to stand in the way of anyone sharing in your joy of holy bondage,” he teased.
Dylan’s leg bumped hers. It wasn’t the first time through the meal. Accidental or not, she wasn’t certain, but each time, a sizzle of electricity rocketed through her body.
Grateful when the meal ended, Kayla needed to put distance between her and Dylan. Pushing back her chair, she rose. “Go on outside, all of you. I’ll take care of the dishes since Mom cooked,” she announced. Cleaning was the lesser of two evils if it came to that or going onto the front porch to join the others, or more specifically, Dylan.”
It didn’t take long for the room to clear out, everyone murmuring their thanks and praise for the great meal as they left. You didn’t have to tell a cowboy twice to get out if it meant not having to do kitchen work.
Kayla stacked the plates and carried them to the kitchen, enjoying the silence for the first time that evening.
Dishes clattered in the dining room. She pushed the door open to see who had come back to help.
Dylan.
“Thought I’d give you a hand,” he said.
“Why?” So much for a peaceful few minutes.
“Because there are a lot of dishes.”
“No. Why you? Shouldn’t you be out with the guys?” It was safer for her if he was out on the porch. Being alone with him would stir up memories best left forgotten.
“I’ve been waiting for a chance to talk to you. We were friends for a long time before we had sex. We have to talk about it some time.”
Her eyes widened at his blunt words. This was so not a conversation she intended to have here in her mother’s dining room with a group of people not thirty feet away.
“Shhhh.” She cast a nervous glance back at the door. “And, no, we don’t. There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Kayla, please. Give me a break. It’s been five years.” He took a step closer and reached out to stop her from walking away. “Talk to me.”
She pulled away and went back into the kitchen. She rinsed the dishes without a word, hoping he’d get the message and leave.
Instead, he proceeded to load the dishwasher quietly. Side by side.
He was asking her for something she couldn’t give. Talking about the past would open old wounds, some of which he knew nothing about and were best left in the dark.
Nearly finished, Dylan came up behind her and placed one hand on each side of her head against the cupboard doors, trapping her in place without a touch.
“Listen to me. I’m sorry for walking away and hurting you. But it was the only way, you have to believe me.”
She turned to face him, all pretense of calm evaporating.
“No, it wasn’t the only way. It was your way. And you lost more than me that day, and you can’t get any of it back. Please leave me alone. The past can’t be undone.”
“You’re right, it was my way. But it was necessary. I can’t undo walking away, but damn, are you going to crucify me for doing what was best for you?”
“Doing what was best for me? You’re not serious? You did what was best for you.”
“If that’s what you believe, you don’t know me very well. I couldn’t let you stay. I couldn’t let you wither away and die like my mother.” His voice ached with pain as he poured out the last words.
What was he saying? His mother died in a car crash. What did any of this have to do with her? She couldn’t stand here and listen to him. It was too late. Everything was too late. “Go away, Dylan.”
Chapter Seven
It took Dylan great restraint not to say more and instead, make his way out to join the others. There were other ways to get his message across to her.
The squeak of the screen door announced his arrival, and all eyes turned in his direction.
“Everything all right?” Kayla’s mother asked. Her frown was more telling than the actual words. Dylan needed to set Mary and Lou straight and stop their interfering ways.
“Right as rain.” Something in short supply around here.
“You playing tonight?” Ethan asked from the corner of the porch where he sat with Sophia snuggled on his lap.
Dylan always played at their get-togethers, and he wasn’t about to let the scene in the kitchen change anything. “Yep. Guitar’s in the truck. I’ll be right back.”
He stepped off the porch and made his way to the truck, the sound of voices and laughter filling the night air behind him. He opened the case and withdrew his guitar, grabbing an extra pick, just in case. Tonight, he would honor the love between Sophia and Ethan. A love that was written in the stars and tangible.
The kind he’d shared with Kayla for a fleeting moment of time.
Dylan stepped back up on the porch, an idea taking hold. When the time was right, he’d slip in an extra song for Kayla.
And he knew just the song.
He settled in on the bench in the corner by the door and faced the group. Picking a few strings, he tuned the guitar, playing a few chords to loosen up his fingers. The group quieted in anticipation of the first song, eager to sing along with the campfire favorites he normally played. Lighthearted and popular, “Chicken Fried” was always one of the group’s favorites, no party complete without it.
Kayla hadn’t come out yet, and he wondered what was keeping her.
Dylan played two more songs before he broke into another ever-popular hit, “Sweet Caroline.” The group sang and swayed together amidst tons of laughter and lots of beer. Randy and Tommy were as always, the life of the party with their little ad lib renditions along the way.
“Do ‘Brown Eyed Girl,’” Ethan hollered. “In honor of the special brown-eyed girl marrying me tomorrow.”
“Awww, I love you, too, honey.” Sophia wrapped her arms around Ethan’s neck and pulled his head down for a kiss.
“Save it for tomorrow night, you two,” Tommy said, pushing them apart, to everyone’s satisfaction and laughter.
…
Kayla listened to the group singing loudly and carrying on without a thought in the world except to have fun. It had been a long time since she’d experienced good old-fashioned country fun. Karaoke in a bar with hundreds of people, most of whom you didn’t know, wasn’t the same.
All heads turned to look when she pushed the squeaky door open and stepped out onto the porch. “Dishes are done. Hope you saved a few songs for me.”
“Darling, where you’re concerned, we would always have more songs,” Randy teased. “But you’re just in time for ‘Brown Eyed Girl.’ Come sit down over here by me. Plenty of room for your pretty self.”
Kayla sat down in the chair Randy pulled up for her.
“By special request, this song is for a special lady tonight.” Dylan let his fingers strum lightly over the strings before launching into the song.
His deep, sexy voice rumbled across the porch and down her spine and then back up, landing somewhere in the vicinity of her heart. He loved to sing as much as she loved to hear his voice. It seemed like only yesterday when she used to follow him around with her schoolgirl crush, hanging on to every word he sang as if he were singing to her and her alone. Back when she’d foolishly believed in happily ever after.
Kayla watched the happy couple dancing together, arm in arm—the world their own in that one special moment. By the second chorus, the group joined in, and Kayla found herself singing along.
The crowd was loud, but not loud enough to drown out someone singing the wrong words. She knew the voice too well not to recognize who changed the lyrics. Blue eyes. He’d sung it wrong on purpose.
Kayla turned to look back at Dylan and found him staring directly at her. She couldn’t do this now. She had to shut him out. She turned back to watch the happy couple as Ethan dipped Sophia low and joined in the laughter.
It was hard not to feast her eyes on him, knowing he was singing the song to her. So far, no one else had noticed, but every word he sang made it har
der and harder to ignore him. Harder and harder to fight the memories of the way it used to be between them.
She managed to block out a few lines. Until he slipped the words “tree house” in there. Kayla cringed. How dare he?
There was no mistaking he was singing to her, taunting her with her greatest mistake. Well, she wasn’t about to run. The first time, she’d fled to San Antonio and never looked back, but this time, she wasn’t running. He could sing to the coyotes all night long, it meant nothing to her.
Moments ago, she was happy to join the group, almost like old times. Now she wanted nothing more than for the evening to end.
Loud clapping interrupted her wayward thoughts. She let out the breath she’d been holding. Thank goodness, the song was over.
“For this next one, I hope you will all indulge me a bit here. Ian Tyson’s song isn’t one of the normal ones I play, but one I’d like to do in honor of Kayla coming home.”
No. No. No. No more. He wasn’t playing fair. Kayla sat there speechless, unsure of what to say without sounding ungrateful.
Several people uttered their approval, and Dylan strummed a few chords, easing into the music softly.
The group was silent.
Kayla closed her eyes to fight the tears. Dylan knew exactly what he was doing. The song choice and words told a tale of lost love. It wasn’t fair. He was the one who’d walked away. He was the one who’d left her alone to deal with the bitter pain of rejection. He was the one who’d thrown away every drop of her love with his betrayal.
He’d kicked her out of his life without a second thought. Never once had he tried to contact her.
But she’d survived, and she had a life.
It was asking too much to force her to sit here and listen, but she had no choice. How many others sitting here knew the truth of why he’d chosen this song? Did they all know, or was this her own private misery? She didn’t have the courage to look around at the group who had fallen completely and utterly silent while Dylan sang the heartfelt tune that reached deep into her soul.
