“I understand your suspicion,” he said, capturing her gaze with his and willing her to not look away. “But I’m home now, Lacy. I’m not leaving again and you’re gonna have to find a way to deal.” He leaned in closer. “I left two years ago—”
She took a breath. “You keep reminding me of that, and trust me, it’s not necessary.”
“The point is, those two years changed us both—but nothing can change what’s still between us and I’m not going to let you deny that fire.”
She licked her lips, clearly uneasy, and that slight action shot a jolt of heat right to his groin.
“Sam—”
Oh, yeah. She felt it. She was just determined to fight it. Well hell, he’d always liked a challenge. “I’m going to romance you, Lacy.”
“What? Why?” She pulled her fingers from his grasp, but he saw her rubbing her fingertips as if they were still buzzing with sensation.
“Because I want you,” he said simply. He wasn’t going to use the L word—not only because she wouldn’t want to hear it, but because he didn’t know if he could say it again. He’d had that love once before but it hadn’t held him. He wasn’t ready to try and fail again. Failure simply wasn’t an option, to quote some old movie. So he was going to keep this simple.
Looking deeply into her eyes, he added, “It’s not just what I want, Lacy. You want me, too.”
She looked as if she wanted to argue, but she didn’t, and Sam called that a win. At least she was admitting, if only to herself, that the burn between them was hotter than ever.
“You’re really trying to keep me off balance, aren’t you?” she asked.
He gave her a slow, wicked smile. “How’m I doing?”
“Too well.”
“Glad to hear it.” He stood up abruptly and announced, “I’m headed over to the architect’s office. I want to talk to her about designing this gift shop.”
“You’ve already got so much going on...”
“No point in wasting time, is there?” And he meant both the building and what lay between them. He was sure she understood that, too.
“I suppose not.”
“So, talk to a few of your friends,” he said, heading for the door. “See if they’d be interested in being involved.”
“I’m sure they will...”
“Good,” Sam said, interrupting her as he opened the office door. “We can have dinner later and talk about everything.”
He took one last look at her and was pleased to see she looked completely shaken. That’s how he wanted her. A little unsteady, a little unsure. If he kept her dancing on that fine edge, she’d be less likely to pull back, to cling to her anger. Sam was determined that he would find a way back into her life. To have her in his. And he knew just the way to do it.
Back in the day, he hadn’t given Lacy romance. They’d simply fallen into love and then into marriage, and it had all been so easy. Maybe, he thought as he stalked through the lobby and out the front door, that was why it had fallen apart. It was all so easy he hadn’t truly appreciated what he’d had until he’d thrown it away.
He wasn’t going to make that mistake again.
* * *
Two hours later, Lacy was at home, closed up in the bathroom, staring down at the counter and the three—count them, three—pregnancy tests.
She’d driven into Logan to buy them just so she wouldn’t run into anyone she knew in the local drugstore. She’d bought three different kinds of early-response tests because she was feeling a little obsessive and didn’t really trust results to just one single test. And for the first time in her life, she got straight A’s on three separate tests.
Positive.
All three of them.
Lacy lifted her gaze to her own reflection in the bathroom mirror. She waited for a sense of panic to erupt inside her. Waited to see worry shining in her own eyes. But those emotions didn’t come. Her mind raced and her heart galloped just to keep pace.
“Oh, my God. Really?” Her voice echoed in the quiet cabin. All alone, she took a moment to smile and watched herself as the smile became a grin. She was going to have a baby.
Instinctively, she dropped one hand to lay it gently against her abdomen as if comforting the child within. When she and Sam were together, she had daydreamed about building a family with him. About how she might tell him the happy news when she got pregnant.
“Times change,” she muttered. “Now it’s not how to tell him, but if to tell him.”
She had to, though, didn’t she? Sure she did. That was just one of the rules people lived by. They’d made a baby together and he had a right to know. “Oh, boy, not looking forward to that.”
Funny, a couple of years ago, there would have been celebration, happiness. Now she was happy. But what about Sam? He said he wanted her, but that wasn’t love. Lust burned bright but went to ash just as quickly. And love was no guarantee anyway. He had loved her two years ago, but he’d left anyway. She loved him now, but it wasn’t enough.
“Oh, God.” She stared into her own eyes and watched them widen with realization. Kristi was right. Lacy did still love Sam. But that love had changed, just as she had. It was bigger. More grown-up. Less naive. She knew there were problems. Knew she wasn’t on steady ground, and it wasn’t enough to wipe away what she felt. Especially when she didn’t know if she wanted it wiped away. God, she really was a glutton for punishment. Just pitiful.
The baby added another layer to this whole situation. Yes, Sam had to know.
“But,” she told the girl in the mirror, “none of the rules say when you have to tell him.”
The problem was, she wanted him to be here right now. Wanted to turn into his arms and feel them come around her. She wanted to share this...magic with him and see him happy about it. She wanted him to love her.
Stepping away from the counter, she plopped down onto the closed toilet seat and just sat there in stunned silence. She was still in love with the man who had once shattered her heart. She might have buried her emotions and her pain for two long years, but she hadn’t been able to completely cut him out of her heart. He had stayed there because he belonged there, Lacy thought. He always had.
But loving him was a one-way ticket to misery if he didn’t love her back. And if she told him about the baby, he’d say and do all the right things—she knew him well enough to know that for certain. He’d want to get married again maybe. Raise their child together, and she would never really know if he would have chosen her without the baby. Would he have come not just back home, but back to her?
She couldn’t live an entire life never knowing, never sure.
Slowly, she pushed to her feet, stared at the test kits, then swept all three of them into the trash can. Patting her abdomen, she said, “No offense, sweetie, but I need to know if your daddy would want me even if you weren’t here. So let’s keep this between us for a while, okay?”
* * *
“You all right?” Sam asked the next morning when he caught her staring off into space. “Still have an upset stomach?”
“What?” Lacy jolted a little. “Um, no. Feel much better.” Not a lie at all, she told herself. Once she got past the first fifteen or twenty minutes of feeling like death, everything really lightened up. Of course, she really missed coffee. Herbal tea was just...disappointing.
“Okay.” He gave her a wary look as if trying to decide if she was telling the truth or not. “You were acting a little off last night when I stopped by your place with dinner, too.”
Because she had still been reeling with the shock of finding herself pregnant. She hadn’t really expected him to show up, especially bringing calzones from La Ferrovia. And once he was in the cabin, she had assumed that he would make a move to get her back into bed. But he hadn’t. Instead, they’d talked about old times, his ne
w plans for the resort, everything in fact, except what was simmering between them.
For a couple of hours, they’d shared dinner, laughter and a history that was made up of a lifetime of knowing each other. And darn it, Lacy thought, she had been completely charmed and thrown off balance again. He’d said he was going to give her romance, and if last night was the beginning of that, he was off to a great start.
“Have you had a chance to talk to any of your friends about the gift shop?”
“Oh, I did get a couple of them on the phone and they’re very interested.” Excited, actually. Thrilled to be asked and to have another venue to sell their wares.
“Good.” He shoved both hands in his pockets and stared out the office window at the view. “I’m meeting with the architect in an hour. I want the plans drawn up as soon as possible.”
“I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” she said wryly.
He glanced at her. “Why’s that?”
“Nobody says no to you for long, do they?”
Sam’s mouth quirked. “That include you?”
She felt her balance dissolving beneath her feet. One smile from him, one whispered comment sent jagged shards of heat slicing through her. It just wasn’t fair that he had so much ammunition to use against her.
Rather than let him see that he was getting to her, Lacy replied, “As I recall, I also said ‘yes’ a couple of weeks ago.”
“Yeah,” he said, gaze moving over her like a touch. “You did.”
She squirmed in her chair, then forced herself to settle when she noticed him noticing.
“Don’t get jumpy,” he said, coming around the desk to lean over her.
“If you don’t want me jumpy, you should back up a little.”
That smile came again. “Seduction in the office isn’t romance, so you’re safe from me at the moment.”
It could be, she thought wistfully. Lock the door, draw the blinds and—oh, yeah, the office could work. Oh, boy.
He kissed her light and quick, then straightened up. “I’m heading into Ogden to the meeting with the architect. If you need me, you’ve got my cell number.”
“Yeah. I do.” If you need me. She smothered a sigh. She did need him, but probably not in the way he meant.
“Okay then.”
He was almost at the door when she remembered something she had to run by him. “I hired an extra chef to give Maria some help in the kitchen. He starts tomorrow.”
“That works,” he said, and gave her a long look. “You don’t have to run this stuff by me, Lacy. You’ve done a hell of a job managing the resort for a long time now. I trust you.”
Then he left and Lacy was alone with those three words repeating in her mind. He trusted her.
And she was keeping his child a secret from him. Was she wrong to wait? To see if maybe his idea to romance her had more to do with reigniting love rather than the flash and burn of desire?
How could she know? All she had to go on were her instincts and they were screaming at her to protect herself—because if he shattered her again, she might not be able to pick up all the pieces this time.
* * *
For the next few weeks, Sam concentrated on setting his plans into motion. As February became March and spring crept closer day by day, he was busier than ever. It felt good, digging back into Snow Vista, making a new place for himself here. And Lacy was a big part of that. They had dinner together nearly every night—he’d taken to showing up at the cabin bringing burgers or Italian or Chinese. They talked and planned, and though it was killing him not to, he hadn’t tried to smooth her into bed again yet.
He was determined to give her the romance neither of them had had the first time around. And that included sending her flowers, both at work and at her house. The wariness in her eyes was fading and he was glad to see it go.
A roaring engine from one of the earth movers working on the restaurant site tore through his thoughts and brought him back to the moment. The construction team was digging out and leveling the ground for the foundation. As long as the sun kept shining and temperatures stayed above freezing, they’d be getting the lodge addition started by next week. The hard-core, hate-to-see-winter-end skiers were still flocking to the mountain, but for most of the tourists, the beginning of spring meant the end of looking for snow.
Which brought him back to the latest plan he’d already set in motion. Right now there was an engineer and a surveying crew laying out the best possible route for his just-like-Park-City forest ride. There would be rails for individual cars and the riders would be able to slow down if they didn’t like the speed attached to careening down a mountain slope. The architects were busily drawing up plans and making the changes that the Wyatt family insisted on.
Sam smiled to himself, stuffed his hands into the pockets of his battered black leather jacket and turned his face into the wind. Here at the top of Snow Vista, the view was, in his opinion, the best in the world. Damned if he hadn’t missed it.
He’d been all over the planet, stood on top of the Alps, skied amazing slopes in Germany, Italy and Austria, yet this was the view that for him couldn’t be beaten. The pines were tall and straight in the wind, and the bare branches of the oaks and aspens chattered like old women gossiping. Soon, the trees would green up, the wildflowers would be back and the river through the canyon would run fresh and clear again.
His gaze swept across the heavily wooded slope that was unusable for skiing. The alpine ride he wanted installed would make great use of that piece of land. Like a roller coaster but without the crazy dips and climbs. It would be a slower, open-air ride through the trees, displaying the fantastic views available from the top of the mountain. Like Park City, Snow Vista could become known for summer as well as winter fun.
He could see it all. The lifts, the alpine coaster, the restaurant offering great food at reasonable prices. Hell, Sam told himself, as he turned to shift his view to the meadow, still blanketed in snow, with a gazebo and a few other additions, they could open the resort to weddings, corporate getaways...the possibilities were endless.
And he’d be here, to see it all. He waited for the urge to leave and when it didn’t come, he smiled. It really was good to be back.
“I know the sun’s out, but it’s still too cold to be standing around outside.”
Chuckling, Sam turned to face his sister.
“It’s spring, Kristi,” Sam said. “Enjoy the cool before the summer heat arrives.”
She walked toward him, her hair pulled back from her face, a black jacket pulled over a red sweater and jeans. As she approached, her features were as cool as the wind sliding across the mountain. His little sister hadn’t really said anything about his decision to stay and Sam knew that she and Lacy were the ones he’d have to work hardest to convince. He was pretty sure he had Lacy halfway there, but maybe now was his chance to get through to his sister.
“You haven’t even been back a full month and you’ve got the whole mountain running to catch up with your ideas.”
Sam shrugged. “Now that I’ve decided to stay, there’s no point in holding back.” He looked away from Kristi and sent a sharp-eyed look at the men working the half-frozen ground. “I want the resort to be up and offering new things as quickly as possible.”
“Hence the bonus money offered the crew if they get both foundations poured before April 1?”
Sam grinned. “Money’s a great motivator.”
“It is,” she acknowledged. “And Dad’s really happy with everything you’re doing.”
“I know.” It felt good, knowing that his father was excited about the future. That meant he was thinking ahead, not about the past or about his own health issues. Sam was still stopping in at the lodge every day to go over the plans with his father. To keep the older man engaged in what was going on. To get h
is input and, hell—just to be with him. Sam had missed that connection with his parents over the past two years. Being here with them again was good for the soul—even with the ghost of Jack hanging over all of them, whether he was spoken of or not. But even with that, with the memories of sorrow clinging close, even with the complications nearly choking him, it was good to be on familiar ground again.
“What about you, Kristi?” His gaze shifted to her again. “How are you feeling about all of this? About me?”
She took a breath and let it out. “I like all of the plans,” she said, lifting her eyes to meet his. “But the jury’s still out on what I’m thinking of you.”
Sam felt his good mood drift away and decided that now was the time to get a few things straightened out with his little sister. “How long are you going to make me pay?”
“How long have you got?” Kristi shrugged, but her eyes were clouded with emotion rather than anger.
“I can’t keep saying I’m sorry.” Apologizing had never come easy for Sam. Not even when he was a kid. Having to swallow the fact that he’d screwed up royally two years ago wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. But he was doing it.
“I came back,” he told her. “That has to count, too.”
“Maybe it does, because I am glad you’re back, Sam. Really.” She shoved both hands into her jacket pockets and tossed a strand of hair out of her eyes with a single jerk of her head. “You being here is a good thing. But what you did two years ago affected all of us and that’s not so easy to get past.”
“Yeah, I know.” He nodded grimly, accepting the burden of past decisions. “Lacy. Mom. Dad.”
“Me,” she snapped out, and stepped up close enough to him that the toes of their boots collided. Tipping her head back, she glared up at him, her eyes suddenly alive with anger, and said, “You leaving taught me that trusting anyone was too risky. Did you know Tony’s asked me to marry him twice now and twice I told him no?”
After Hours with Her Ex Page 12
