Monster Nanny
Page 1
Contents
* * *
Title Page
Contents
Dedication
Copyright
The Fateful Breakfast
Talking with Invisible Voice
Mom Really Does Leave
Things You (Perhaps) Always Wanted to Know About Monsters
A Hungry Monster in the Closet
In the Forest
Mimi Talks to the Monster
Detective at Work
The Monster’s Nocturnal Habits
Mimi in the Bath
The Phone Call That Surprises Nobody
Another Strange Creature
The Fairy-Frog Attacks
Koby Has an Idea
Halley’s Observations
Guarding the Door
The Monster’s Natural Defense Mechanisms
The First Night in the Yard
Camping Life
The Bathrobe’s Advice
The Angry Newborn
Mimi and Grah
Where Are the Monsters?
Visible Dad
Visitors in the Camp
The Map
The Forest at Night
The Missing Page
Full Moon
Door to Home
Middle Grade Mania!
About the Author
About the Illustrator
Connect with HMH on Social Media
Dedicated to
Leonardo and Maikki
Copyright © 2015 by Tuutikki Tolonen and Tammi Publishers
Illustrations copyright © 2015 by Pasi Pitkänen
Translation copyright © 2017 by Annira Silver
Original edition published by Tammi Publishers, 2015
All rights reserved. For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to trade.permissions@hmhco.com or to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 3 Park Avenue, 19th Floor, New York, New York 10016.
www.hmhco.com
Cover design by Rebecca Bond and Monica Liaw
Cover illustration © 2017 by Tom Jellett
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:
Names: Tolonen, Tuutikki, 1975–author. | Pitkänen, Pasi, illustrator. | Silver, Annira, translator.
Title: Monster nanny / by Tuutikki Tolonen ; illustrated by Pasi Pitkänen ; translation by Annira Silver.
Other titles: Mèorkèovahti. English
Description: Boston ; New York : Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, [2017] | Summary: When their mother wins a trip while their father is away, Halley, Koby, and Mimi’s lives are turned upside-down by a hairy, smelly, half-troll nanny.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016037228 | ISBN 9780544943544 (hardcover)
Subjects: | CYAC: Nannies—Fiction. | Monsters—Fiction. | Brothers and sisters—Fiction. | Adventure and adventurers—Fiction.
Classification: LCC PZ7.1.T624 Mon 2017 | DDC [Fic]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016037228
English edition published by agreement with Tuutikki Tolonen, Pasi Pitkänen, and Elina Ahlback Agency, Helsinki, Finland.
eISBN 978-1-328-82904-7
v1.1017
CHAPTER 1
The Fateful Breakfast
AS SO OFTEN HAPPENS, it all started in the morning. Mom was wiping down the sink with a small sponge. The Hellman children—Halley, eleven, Koby, nine, and Mimi, six years and four months—were sitting at the round kitchen table, eating corn flakes.
The news was on the radio: Schools have let out for the summer, warm weather on the way, weekend traffic running smoothly . . .
Mom’s sponge hovered above the sink as she turned to the children. She was nervous and for a good reason.
“It’s the morning of my departure, but the train tickets still haven’t come,” she complained. “I’m sure that grand prize drawing win was a hoax. Trip to Lapland and two weeks of relaxing treatments! Too good to be true. Such things just don’t happen.”
Mom turned back to the sink and continued scrubbing while mumbling, “But I still believed it. I even packed my suitcase all ready, but there’s no sign of the tickets.”
The children looked at one another.
“And by the way, no sign of the nanny, either,” Halley said.
“No sign of the nanny,” Mom repeated.
“Nor Invisible Voice,” Mimi continued.
Mom frowned.
“But Invisible Voice is often heard,” Koby corrected Mimi.
“One who is heard a lot doesn’t need to be seen,” Halley giggled.
“Stop that Invisible Voice nonsense,” Mom said sternly. “Dad’s coming home tonight, as you well know. He’s already on the plane.”
“I don’t think he’s on the plane,” Halley whispered to Koby. Invisible Voice was not very good at coming home on time.
“What are you whispering?” Mom asked.
“Nothing,” Koby answered quickly.
The doorbell rang.
“Here they are!” Mom exclaimed. She looked around. The kitchen was still messy.
“I’ll get it,” Halley said, jumping up. Mom quickly swiped the breakfast crumbs off the table with the sponge and hurried to the hall after Halley.
The postman stood at the door. He was not the usual postman, but smarter-looking and more energetic. He wore a yellow jacket, gray baseball cap, and gray tie. He had definitely not ridden to their street on the post office bike.
“I wonder if Mary Hellman is at home?” he asked politely. “I have a package. Someone must confirm receipt.”
“Confirm?” Halley repeated.
“Sign,” the postman explained.
Mom wiped her hands on her apron and stepped forward.
“I am Mary Hellman,” she said. “I’ve won a trip in a prize drawing. This must be the train tickets.”
The postman nodded and handed Mom a paper and pen. “Right there. And your name in capitals, if you please.”
Mom signed. The postman handed her an envelope.
“Here we are. Have an excellent day!”
He raised his cap and disappeared down into the stairway.
Mom carefully tore the envelope open.
“Oh, yes, here they are,” she said, relieved, and pulled a folded sheet of paper out of the envelope, with the train tickets inside.
“What does it say?” Halley asked.
Mom unfolded the sheet of paper and read out loud:
“Dear Recipient,
Once again: congratulations to the winner! At last, it is time for your trip. Time to recharge your batteries, relax, and learn new things. Time to think of your own well-being, wake up to birdsong and the tickle of the sun’s rays. Welcome!
After two weeks you will be like a new person. Our relaxation camp, the exact location of which will be revealed as soon as you arrive, starts tomorrow at noon. The camp duration is exactly two weeks, and in all that time you will need no money, just warm clothing and an energetic camping mindset. After the two weeks, you will be returned to your home, unless you choose to go to some other place. The special camp train leaves the central railway station at eight p.m. today. Please, do not be late. Your train tickets are enclosed.”
“Special camp train!” Halley echoed. “Looks like Mom wasn’t the only one to win a relaxation trip.”
“Idiot, the others must pay for it themselves, of course,” Koby corrected her. “Isn’t that right, Mom?”
Mom didn’t reply but stared at the letter. Her brow became strangely crinkled.
“What else does it say?” Halley asked.
“Hell’s bells,” Mom grumbled. “It says here that because your dad travels for work, the nanny will stay day and night until I get back. Two weeks, night a
nd day!”
“Didn’t you tell them that Invisible Voice is coming home?” Koby asked. “I mean, that Dad’s coming?”
“I thought it was self-evident!” Mom said.
“Are we having a nanny move in?” Mimi asked, delighted. She liked all the staff at the daycare center.
“They never said anything about nights,” Mom muttered. “I thought we’d get someone who tidies up and cooks dinner a few times a week. This is a different thing altogether.”
“Is Invisible Voice’s coming home canceled?” Halley whispered to Koby.
Koby shrugged. He really didn’t know.
“They should have made this clear before,” Mom went on, shaking her head. “A total stranger! Where do we put her in this place? We haven’t got a guest room.”
“Your bed will be free,” Mimi piped up.
“This has gotten too complicated,” Mom said, not happy. Then she was quiet again and continued reading.
“What else does it say?” Koby asked, when Mom’s lips suddenly clamped together in a tight line.
“Read it out loud!” Mimi said, agitated.
“And what is this supposed to mean?” Mom asked in a startled voice, and read:
“You will have the opportunity to participate in a secret special experiment, in which we are researching new options for child care work. The nanny that will arrive at your home is a half-human fully trained for the job—”
“Half-human!” yelled Mimi. “What? Read it again!”
“Mimi, don’t yell,” Halley asked. “Mom, please read on.”
Mom continued:
“. . . half-human, according to an old definition, a monster or a troll . . .”
Halley suppressed a giggle.
“This is a prank!”
“Candid Camera.” Koby grinned, peering around the room.
But Mimi watched Mom, thrilled. Tickling, happy thrilled. Could it be true? A monster in her home. Nanny and monster.
Mom’s voice was tense as she went on:
“We would like to stress that the creature is safe. However, the experiment is very confidential, and under no circumstances must you tell anyone about the creature. A breach of this obligation for confidentiality results in a set penalty. Moreover, we wish to remind you that when you accepted this prize, you signed a confidentiality agreement . . .”
Mom raised her eyes from the letter. She looked cross.
“That agreement didn’t say anything about half-humans and monsters!” she griped. “I thought that I mustn’t tell anybody about the kinds of relaxation treatments they do! This is a completely different matter. My children are not guinea pigs. Nobody sets any penalties on me in my own home.”
“I can keep a secret!” Mimi shouted. “I want the half-human to come here!”
“Mimi, don’t shout,” Koby said.
Just then the doorbell rang again.
“For goodness’ sake,” Mom said angrily.
Halley stepped to the door and opened it. A total shocked silence descended on the hall.
At the door stood a brown-black creature. It was big and wide and almost filled the whole doorway. But what was it? It had two enormous feet, on which it stood solidly in place. It had two enormous hands. Its palms were like saucepan lids, and each of its four fingers like a fat barbecue sausage. In one of its hands, the creature held a crumpled scrap of paper.
But did it have a thick, matted fur coat, or was it wearing a coverall made from ragged scraps of cloth? A strange smell, reminiscent of a musty cellar, spread into the hall. The creature rolled its big, round yellow eyes and grunted something. Mimi hid behind Mom.
Behind the creature stood a messenger in a gray suit, a different man from the earlier one. He nodded a nervous greeting, cleared his throat, and said: “This has been sent to you. Can you sign, please?”
He slid an electronic receipt device past the creature and handed it to Mom. Mom stared at the creature, her mouth slightly open.
“Mom, sign your name,” Halley said, and nudged her gently.
“What do we do with that?” Mom asked.
“It comes with instructions,” the messenger answered, and coughed.
“Go on, sign,” Halley repeated.
“What if I don’t want it?” Mom asked quietly.
“There are no actual alternatives,” the messenger said. “I was told to bring this here. There is no return address.”
“Go on, Mom, just sign,” Halley said.
“Well, if it definitely comes with instructions,” Mom murmured, sighing.
She signed the screen in slightly shaky handwriting. The messenger snatched his device back. “Have a very nice day,” he said quickly, and slipped away.
The Hellman family and their new nanny stood at the door like statues. Halley stared at the creature. Koby stared at the creature. Mom’s eyes flitted now to the creature, now to her children, because she didn’t know whether or not the children should be quickly saved and if so, how, since they were on the fifth floor of a large apartment building and the creature filled the whole doorway, so there was no way out.
“Mom, is that the monster?” Mimi whispered from behind Mom’s back.
The creature let out a hollow grunt and pushed the scrap of paper at Halley, who happened to be standing nearest to it. Halley hesitantly took the paper.
The creature grunted again. Mom caught her breath, startled. Halley unfolded the paper. It was tatty, grubby, and a bit torn. A little lump of soil fell out of it and crumbled on the floor.
“This must be the instructions,” Halley said. Mom frowned.
“What does it say?” Koby asked.
Halley read out loud:
“Receiving family: Hellman.
Sent: Trained half-human, commonly known as a ‘monster.’
Specialty: Child care and domestic work.
Character: Not violent, likes TV, is happy in human houses.
Other notes: No proper name, addressed as ‘monster nanny’ or simply ‘monster.’ Finds its own food outdoors during darkness. NB: Never leaves children home alone!
English-language skills: Poor. Understands a little, does not speak. Language skills not expected to improve. NB: Lack of language does not affect ability to work.
Accommodation: Hall closet (closet to be emptied immediately).”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” Mom snapped. “I wonder how this’ll end?”
Halley and Koby looked at each other. Interesting indeed. How would it end?
Mimi sidled out from behind Mom’s skirt. She looked at the monster and smiled.
“It’s not dangerous,” Mimi said, putting out her little hand to the monster. “Look at its eyes. It wants to stay here.”
CHAPTER 2
Talking with Invisible Voice
THEY HAD TO REMOVE the shelves from the hall closet before the monster would fit.
“And where do we put all this junk?” Mom asked. The contents of the closet lay in two heaps on the hall floor. Nobody answered. Mom frowned and looked at the monster.
“All right, let’s try it. Get in, get in.”
The monster squeezed into the closet. The closet was quite narrow. To fit in it, the monster had to stand straight with its arms tightly at its sides, but it didn’t seem bothered by the lack of room. The monster growled contentedly.
“It looks like a cigar,” Halley said.
“A hairy cigar,” Koby continued.
“Dirt cigar!” Mimi giggled.
“Children,” Mom scolded them, but she couldn’t take her eyes off the monster either. Small clumps of earth seemed to be dropping off it all the time. The whole hallway was covered in gray earth dust. Soon the whole apartment would resemble a potato cellar, of which it already smelled.
The phone rang.
“Invisible Voice,” Halley said, pleased. “I’ll get it.”
“I’m sure it can’t be Dad. He’s flying over the Atlantic right now,” Mom said, subdued, and picked up the receiver.
Her face immediately took on a horrified expression.
“Sam! What on earth? Why aren’t you on the plane?”
Halley nodded knowingly at Koby.
“What did I tell you?” she whispered.
“No, I did,” Koby whispered back.
Mom was listening, worried. “I see. I see. Really bad timing, Sam. You see, we had a delivery of . . . Oh, you already know?”
“That’s what it said in the letter,” Koby commented, nodding to Halley.
“Well, it looks . . .” Mom began, and glanced at the monster, which was contentedly rubbing its back against the back of the closet. Dust was flying around it.
“It’s . . . pretty earthy. Perhaps it ought to be washed. It looks quite happy there in the closet. Yes, the closet, here in the hall. That’s where it had to be put.”
Mom was silent for a long while, listening. She crinkled her brow, disconcerted.
“But did you hear that on top of everything else, this is some kind of an experiment?” Mom demanded. “They want to use our children to test whether or not this kind of creature can be a good caretaker. What if it turns out that it isn’t? What happens then? I’m canceling the trip to Lapland. I can’t go.”
Mom cast her eyes at the monster, who had suddenly dropped off to sleep on its feet. At least its eyes were closed, and it was leaning against the back of the closet, breathing peacefully.
“Mom, we’ll be OK,” Halley interjected. “You can go off to Lapland, no problem.”
“Dad wants to speak to you,” Mom said, handing the phone to Halley.
“Hey,” Halley began. “Well, it smells of a potato cellar. It’s not very big, kind of . . . fits in the closet. It doesn’t matter! We’re not a bit scared. When are you coming? A blizzard? That’s weird. A blizzard in June. Never heard of such a thing.”
Koby rolled his eyes. Halley didn’t realize that it isn’t summer everywhere in June. In some places, it’s even winter. Depends on what part of the world you happen to be in.