by Keeland, Vi
“No, Alex,” I said.
“It’s all good, buddy. No one is fighting.” Levi ruffled my son’s hair.
“You missed a lot,” Alex said.
“I’m sorry. I’ll be sure to be here for the entire thing next time, okay?”
Alex looked toward his teammates. “I gotta go back!” he said, already running away.
I watched Alex disappear into the distance. “You see how affected he is by everything—just the mere thought of us arguing. If we take things too far and it goes wrong between us, it will devastate him.”
“I’m not discounting that.” Levi bit his lip and looked down. His ears turned red.
I could feel the emotions emanating from his body.
He suddenly looked up at me. “You’re right.”
“About what specifically?”
“About us. I think we should stop. For real this time. I’m not gonna push for something that’s not attainable if you don’t believe in me.”
He was giving me what I thought was right, but hearing him say that devastated me. We stood staring at each other. I didn’t know what to say. I’d essentially asked for this, right? Why did I feel so gutted that he’d agreed?
As he started to walk away, I called after him. “Levi?”
He didn’t turn around this time. Instead, he walked to the bleachers on the opposite side of the field. He watched Alex there for the remainder of practice while I stayed in my corner under the tree.
CHAPTER 17
* * *
Levi
In an effort to follow through on staying away from Presley tonight, I went over to my mother’s house for dinner instead of heading back to The Palm Inn.
In fact, I considered spending the night at Mom’s if it would put space between Presley and me. I knew nothing good could come of going back there tonight. We needed time to cool off after what happened at practice today.
My mother made corn on the cob and fried catfish. We ate our dinner outside, overlooking the small marsh by her house.
As the last of the evening sun set, she looked over at me.
“Talk to me. What’s going on with you?”
“You could tell, huh?”
“When you were younger and you were upset about something, you never used to finish your food. Tonight’s the same. That’s so unlike you normally. I know something is bothering you.”
“I don’t think you want to hear it.”
“Let’s put it this way,” she said. “I’m pretty sure I already know what this is about. Or should I say who. And my imagination is already running wild, so you’ve got nothing to lose in telling me the truth.” She took a long gulp of her wine. “Now tell me what’s happening between you and Presley.”
“After today, maybe nothing. I ended it. Well, it was more that I finally agreed to let her end it.”
“I suspected you wouldn’t heed my warnings about getting involved with her. How far did you take things?”
I lifted my brow. “You really want me to spell it out?”
“Jesus. How are you even able to get away with that, considering Alex is in the house?”
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
My mother took another sip of her wine. “Okay, so…you ended things. That’s good, right? I’ll pray your brother never finds out.” She sighed. “I assume she wanted more than you could give her?”
“Actually, it was the opposite. She seems to think I’m just playing house and as soon as I go back to Colorado, I’ll be back to my old player ways. She doesn’t trust how serious my feelings have grown for her.”
My mother looked out toward the marsh and shook her head. “I guess I just don’t understand how you could let this happen, Levi. Not only how you could do this to your brother, but why you would want to be with someone who left him the way she did. This is not making any sense to me whatsoever.”
I’d always felt it wasn’t my place to tell my mother what really happened between Tanner and Presley, but I felt compelled to defend Presley, and I couldn’t do that without relaying the truth.
“Things didn’t go down the way you think,” I said. “All those years, we thought she left him because he was injured and down on life when that was far from the case.” I gritted my teeth. “Tanner cheated on her. More than once. She never did him wrong. Presley didn’t say anything for so long because she wanted to keep the peace for Alex.”
My mother narrowed her eyes. “That wasn’t the story he gave us.”
“Of course, it wasn’t. But unfortunately, that’s the truth. And it’s why I’ve had a real hard time feeling sorry for him. Not to mention the way he’s treated both her and Alex, being virtually absent besides a few phone calls here and there. Yes, I do still feel guilty. But he makes it hard sometimes.”
My mother grimaced. “Well, this is the first I’ve heard of all this.”
“I know. I only found out in the course of getting to know her. We certainly weren’t gonna learn the truth from Tanner.”
“Well, now I feel badly about giving her attitude all this time. I could never help myself, thinking she’d left my son when he needed her most, secretly blaming her in part for his gambling addiction.”
“She’s a good woman, Ma. A really good woman. And a damn good mother to your grandson.” I exhaled. “I ended things with her today—or at least tried—not because I wanted to, but because this thing between us is stressing her out. It’s complicating her life in a way I never intended. I don’t believe for a second that she wouldn’t want to be with me if things were different. But I can’t push if she keeps letting fear get in the way.”
“I’ve never seen you like this over a woman. I was starting to think you didn’t have it in you. I just wish it was any woman but Presley Sullivan.”
“Yeah, well, we don’t always get a choice when it comes to who we—” I hesitated, realizing the word that had almost come out of my mouth.
Was I about to admit I’m falling in love with her?
“You’ve put me in a difficult spot,” my mother said, interrupting my thoughts. “Because the next time your brother calls me, how am I supposed to just pretend I don’t know about this? I almost wish you’d lied.”
“I’m sorry for putting you in this position.”
“I’m not going to be the one to tell him, as much as it will kill me to hide this.”
“Thank you.”
“But I think eventually you’re gonna want to tell him. Otherwise, the guilt will eat away at you.”
I knew she was right. It would be impossible to keep this from Tanner if Presley and I didn’t stop seeing each other. “In a perfect world, he’d never have to find out. I certainly wouldn’t unleash the news on him without running it by Presley first. That would be her call. If it were up to me, I’d just live with the guilt. Honestly, my number-one concern is Alex, more than anything.”
Mom nodded. “As it should be.”
I stared off. “He needs me in his life, especially when Tanner doesn’t come around much. I couldn’t live with myself if he grew to hate me for any reason.”
“Well, I think you should take that thought and let it marinate. There’s really no way that Alex finding out about you and his mom could possibly help your relationship with him. That may be reason enough to stick to your guns here. End things once and for all before that boy finds out.”
“I get what you’re saying. But you’re asking me to do something that feels very unnatural. I understand what the right decision is. But it’s much easier said than done.” Closing my eyes for a moment, I thought back to some of the simple moments Presley and I had shared. “She makes me want things I never knew I wanted. We talk, we laugh about stupid stuff, about Beaufort—all the things I never appreciated before. A year ago, I would’ve told you I was perfectly fine having one-night stands and meaningless trysts forever. I never wanted the added responsibility of a relationship. But with her, it doesn’t feel like that. It feels like it enhances my l
ife, rather than weighing it down. She understands where I come from and vice versa. She just…makes me happy. I don’t know how else to describe it.”
“Oh goodness, son.” My mother let out a long breath. “The sad thing is, all I’ve ever dreamed for you is that you’d settle down someday, be happy with one woman, and start a family. I’m sorry it’s not easier for you to just enjoy this experience, that it has to be marred by scandal. And make no mistake about it, that’s exactly what this would turn into if it ever got out.” Her eyes widened as something seemed to dawn on her. “Please tell me that old woman you currently live with hasn’t gotten wind of this.”
Oh boy. She’s not going to be happy when I tell her.
“Fern knows. I basically gave her hush money. That’s a story for another day. But I do trust that she won’t say anything.”
“Just great.” My mother rolled her eyes. “That sounds really reliable.”
***
I ultimately decided not to be a pussy. So I headed back to The Palm that night.
To my surprise, Presley was waiting by the door when I arrived just past 10PM.
She looked worried. “Where have you been?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes, it does matter when you left things the way you did earlier. I at least thought you’d be home for dinner. You normally tell me when you won’t.”
The fact that she’d been waiting up made me feel like shit.
“I went to my mother’s house to vent.”
A look of panic crossed her face. “Did you tell her about us?”
“That we’re over? Yes.” I sighed and lowered my voice since I knew Alex was sleeping. “She guessed that I was upset over you. She’s known for some time about us. She guessed that too. I never really told her anything. She promises she won’t mention this to Tanner, even though it’s not easy for her.”
Presley put her hand on her belly. “My stomach has been in knots all day, Levi. I never meant to upset you. And I don’t blame you one bit for being pissed at my response to Jeremy. It was a sad attempt to string him along as some kind of self-protective mechanism on my part. The truth is, you’re all I think about. It’s almost laughable that you would think I’m interested in Jeremy when I’m pretty sure I’m addicted to you.”
“Sexually, you mean,” I was quick to add.
“No. Not just sexually. That’s the problem.”
We were both silent for a bit, until I muttered, “Why couldn’t I have found you first?”
She reached her hand out and took my pinky in hers. It seemed my vow to stay away from her was a bunch of bullshit, because I could already feel my walls breaking down again.
“I told myself I was going to come home and not say a damn word to you, Presley. And I’m realizing once again how fucking weak I am. Because all I want to do right now is fuck you till you hurt for making me so damn jealous today.”
Her eyes glazed over. “Do it.”
“Don’t dare me, woman.” My dick stiffened.
Whenever I was stressed, I lost my appetite for food, but my appetite for sex was just the opposite. After this day, there was nothing I needed more than to bury myself inside of her. We’d resolved nothing from our argument earlier. Things between us were more messed-up than ever. But somehow my dick had me convinced that fucking her brains out tonight was the answer, like her pussy was magic, and it would solve all of this.
She licked her lips. “Where’s the farthest spot in this house from Alex’s room?”
“The pantry closet in the corner of the kitchen,” I said.
She began to walk toward the pantry before turning around. I stood there frozen, watching her ass sashay back and forth and wondering how I’d gotten to this point again.
Presley turned around to look at me. “Are you coming?”
No, but I will be.
“You’re doing a great job with your vow never to fuck me again, by the way,” I whispered as I followed her.
We slipped inside the pantry and closed the door. Surrounded by canned food and snacks, Presley dropped to her knees in the darkness.
I couldn’t unzip my pants fast enough as I took out my rock-hard cock. Presley wasted no time taking me all the way down her throat, then bobbed up and down as if sucking my dick was her damn job—one she was extremely good at.
Threading my fingers through her hair, I pushed myself deeper into her mouth, and then pulled out suddenly to stop myself from coming down her throat. That had felt better than ever.
I tugged on her hair, prompting her to stand up before flipping her around. She undid her pants, letting them fall to the ground. Thank fuck I happened to have a single condom in my pocket. You never knew what might happen, so I always carried at least one.
Ripping it open as fast as humanly possible, I sheathed myself before frantically locating her hot opening. I pushed deep inside, trying my hardest not to groan out loud.
Her hands were on the pantry wall as I fucked her from behind. My only regret was that there wasn’t enough light to allow me a clear view of her beautiful ass as I pounded into her.
When she let out a noise that was a little too loud for comfort, I took my hand and covered her mouth as I continued to pump harder.
Speaking into her neck as I thrust, I said, “You like driving me fucking crazy like this, don’t you, Presley?”
She made a muffled sound against my hand.
“I don’t give a fuck what you’re telling yourself, this beautiful cunt is mine. It belongs to me. Do you understand?”
She nodded, letting out another unintelligible sound.
Within seconds, my orgasm rocketed through me and I emptied loads of cum into the condom. I always tried to wait for her to orgasm first, but this one was intense and came on suddenly.
Luckily, as my movements began to slow, I could sense she was rubbing herself off while I was still moving inside of her. Her breathing became rapid as her muscles contracted around my cock.
I stayed inside of her as we both caught our breath.
Eventually, I pulled out, even though I’d been enjoying her warmth and could have easily gone for round two if I’d had another condom handy.
When she turned around to face me, I whispered, “I want a kiss.”
Just as she’d leaned in to comply, I heard rustling in the kitchen.
We froze in unison.
I mouthed silently, “Fuck.”
Looking through the small slats in the pantry door, I realized we were about to be way more fucked than we’d ever imagined.
Alex was in the kitchen. He must have come down for a drink, or worse—a snack.
Please don’t let it be a goddamn snack. Because most of his options were in here.
We couldn’t even react verbally to what was happening, because he might have heard us. All we could do was not move—not even to pull up our damn pants—and pray he came nowhere near this closet. I’d hold the door closed if I had to, with every bit of strength in me. No way in hell was I going to let this kid see me in the closet with his half-naked mother while a fully loaded condom hung off my dick. I’d rather die.
The refrigerator opened. I couldn’t see that clearly, but it sounded like maybe he’d taken a drink out of a carton since I didn’t hear him going to the cabinet for a cup. Then came the sound of the refrigerator closing, followed by footsteps fading away in the distance.
That was the biggest bullet I’d ever dodged in my life.
Presley and I continued to breathe against each other. I pulled her closer and could feel her heartbeat racing. Mine was going even faster.
I placed my forehead against hers. “It’s okay.”
“We have to stop,” she whispered.
Yeah. We will—for tonight.
CHAPTER 18
* * *
Presley
Just when I thought nothing else could screw with my head, being back at Beaufort High School had me wrestling a kaleidoscope of new emotions.
Behi
nd me were the bleachers. I looked up at the announcer’s booth and then counted four rows down to the place my friends and I had sat for every football game for four years of high school. I used to love watching Tanner play. If I closed my eyes, I could probably still see the faces of the cheering Friday-night crowd. Heck, if I inhaled deeply enough, I might even smell hot dogs and pretzels. We’d had some good times here. Thinking about it caused a dull ache in my chest.
But turning around and looking out at the field in front of me caused an even bigger tangle of emotions. Tryouts were over now, though a lot of the kids had hung around after to throw the ball with Levi. He was currently in the middle of a game of two-hand touch, with my son as his running back. Levi dropped back to throw the ball, and Alex ran long. The smile on my son’s face lit up the field brighter than the lights at a Friday-night game. I’d already taken all of the photos Levi’s agent needed, yet I lifted the camera and shot more. These weren’t for PR, but for me.
My camera clicked so fast it sounded like someone was typing.
Alex catching the ball.
Alex in mid-air, high-fiving Levi after they scored.
Levi ruffling my son’s hair after he helped him up from the grass.
Levi looking down at my son like a…
Oh my God.
I lost my breath when I realized what I’d been thinking…
Levi was looking down at my son like a proud father.
God, I was probably the worst human being on the planet, but in that moment, I wished Levi was Alex’s father and not Tanner. In the few months I’d been back in Beaufort, the two of them had already spent more time together than Tanner had spent with Alex during his lifetime. That was a pretty sad realization.
I took down my camera and watched how Levi taught him things, how he always seemed to keep his eye on where Alex was, even while throwing the football to another player or running the offensive line. He was protective, truly a natural parent.
Yet here I was, still using my son as an excuse to keep my distance from Levi, while the truth of the matter was, Alex flourished around the man. Of course, if our relationship were to continue and things didn’t work out between Levi and me, it would be difficult for Alex. But wouldn’t that be a risk I’d have to take with any man? And unlike a random stranger, in my heart I knew Levi was in my son’s life for good now, regardless of what happened between the two of us.
