by Keeland, Vi
“I don’t expect you to give me your trust any time soon, Presley. I know I have to earn that back and then some. But I want to work toward that.”
“You only have to worry about earning Alex’s trust back,” I said.
“And I plan to. But I’m not only here to reconnect with Alex.” His eyes seared into mine. “My hope is that we can repair what we lost.”
Sweat beaded on my forehead. “Tanner—”
“Please hear me out.” He took a long gulp of wine. “I know I’ve messed up more than once. And you don’t owe me another chance. But I am trying very hard to change and be the kind of man you’ve always deserved. As I told my brother this morning, I’m getting older now, and my priorities are clearer than ever.”
My heart dropped to my stomach. “You spoke to Levi about this?”
“Yeah. We talked for a bit before my interview this morning. He said he’s going through some stuff, too.”
Feeling woozy, I blinked. “What stuff?”
“He wouldn’t elaborate, but it sounded like a life crisis—similar to mine. You know, he and I aren’t all that different. We’re both getting older and wiser and realizing the lives we’re living may not be what we want long term.” He exhaled. “I talked to him about my desire to get my family back.”
I stayed silent, barely remembering to breathe.
“I don’t want to be that single guy anymore, Presley. I want a family. And not just any family—my family. You and Alex. You’re the only family I have, and the only one I will ever want.”
My head felt like it was spinning. While I’d known Tanner was trying to get back in my good graces and had been somewhat flirtatious, I hadn’t truly believed he wanted us to get back together.
He had no clue just how complicated things were.
“I don’t know what to say,” I managed.
“Are you seeing someone?” he asked.
I skirted his question. “Tanner, I don’t see the two of us ever getting back together.”
“Why are you shutting the door on the possibility?”
“I’ve grown. I’m a different woman than I used to be. I know more about myself and what I want. Not to mention, we just didn’t work.”
“We did work before I fucked everything up. Please try to remember that. There was a time when you loved me. And I’ve never stopped loving you.”
My only response to that was to down the rest of my wine. I could have lied and told him I didn’t want a relationship with anyone. But that wasn’t the truth. Telling him the actual truth—that I was only interested in a relationship with the other Miller—wasn’t an option. And knowing Tanner had spoken to Levi about me this morning explained Levi’s disappearing act. That made me even more scared of what might have been running through Levi’s head today.
“You know what?” Tanner said after a moment. “I can be patient. This conversation was more about me stating my intent. I don’t expect you to take me back right now or even respond to any of this. But I want to let you know how serious I am. I’m here for Alex and you, Presley. I don’t plan to see anyone else, even if you’re telling me you won’t give me a chance. I’m choosing to hold out hope, and I want to save myself for you.”
That’s insane. “You’re setting yourself up for disappointment, Tanner.”
I did wonder what my reaction to this would have been if Levi and I hadn’t happened. Even though Tanner had given me many reasons not to trust him, I did feel like he was being genuine right now. Was it possible he had changed and was as determined to get me back as he claimed? Maybe. Might I have caved and been open to giving him another chance if things were different? I couldn’t rule out that possibility. But the reality was, I had changed. I couldn’t erase what I’d learned about my wants and needs over the past couple of months with Levi, who’d made me feel things I’d never experienced. It was that fire I longed for. Even if things were about to end with Levi and me, because of him, I would always know what that level of passion felt like. And I knew I deserved that, which was certainly more than what Tanner had to offer.
“Like I said…” He took my glass and poured me more wine. “I don’t expect you to be open to this yet. I’m just letting you know I’m not going anywhere this time.”
I shook my head. “Please continue to focus on Alex and not me. I’m not interested in anything more than improving our relationship as co-parents. That’s definitely something I’d be open to working on.”
“We’ll start there.” He winked. “But I’m still gonna hold out hope.”
The tension remained thick as we stayed on the porch and made small talk after Tanner’s revelation.
He then told me to stay and relax while he went to pick up Alex at his friend’s house and suggested the three of us eat supper together. But instead, I asked if he’d be willing to handle dinner with his son while I ran some errands. He agreed, and after he left to get Alex, I grabbed my keys.
Once I got into my car, I pulled up Levi’s name on my phone.
Presley: Tell me where you are. I’m coming to you.
CHAPTER 23
* * *
Levi
Candy wrappers covered the end table by my bed. I had this nervous habit of pigging out on hotel vending-machine junk when stressed. I had no idea how long I’d be staying here, but I needed to be somewhere other than The Palm Inn. Not wanting to deal with questions about this fucked-up situation, I couldn’t go to my mother’s either.
After Presley’s text, I did tell her where I’d checked in, and now she was headed over here. As much as I dreaded what we’d inevitably talk about, I ached to see her. Excitement ricocheted through my body, as it always did when I knew we’d be alone together, except this time it was bittersweet.
The TV was on, but I couldn’t have told you what was showing as I paced back and forth. I didn’t know what was worse: the guilt or the jealousy.
This wasn’t how everything was supposed to go down. I wasn’t supposed to care so damn much about my estranged brother. But something had changed with Tanner. And I couldn’t ignore it. Knowing that he genuinely seemed to regret his actions over the years made it much harder to disregard his feelings, like I’d planned. Now I was second-guessing everything. Hadn’t he lost enough when his career ended? Didn’t he deserve a chance to have his family back? The problem was, his family now also felt like my family. And I didn’t want to give up Presley and Alex. How do you choose between the woman of your dreams and your brother? Is blood automatically thicker than water? I honestly didn’t have the answer, but losing either of them didn’t seem like an option.
Presley was dead set against Tanner ever finding out about us, and I was starting to agree with her, even if I’d been adamant about telling him the truth just a day ago. If he could never find out, how the hell did Presley and I stand a chance? We couldn’t hide forever. My stomach churned. It seemed more and more like this decision was being made for us. I just couldn’t accept it.
There was a knock at the door.
I opened to find Presley standing there in a short, flowery dress and denim jacket. Her eyes were filled with worry, and despite all of this guilt, I wanted nothing more than to take her on this damn hotel room bed so we could drown our sorrows in each other.
“Why have you been avoiding me all day?” she asked as she stepped into the room.
“I’m sorry.”
Her chest heaved. “I know you and Tanner talked this morning.”
“Yeah. That’s why I left. It shook me.”
She nodded, looking down at her feet. “He told me he let you know he plans to try to get me back.”
I exhaled. “I’m glad you convinced me not to tell him about us. I don’t know what I was thinking. Now I realize it would devastate him.” Fighting the urge to pull her into my arms, I looked her up and down. “What else did he say to you?”
“He told me he wants to earn my trust back. He thinks we can get back together once that happens. He has no clue how co
mplicated this situation is.”
Jealousy burned through my body. I looked up at the ceiling and shook my head. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Would you consider taking him back if you and I had never gotten together?”
She paused. “I honestly don’t think so. But it’s hard to say, given that I would probably be a different person altogether right now if we hadn’t happened. But we did happen. I know now that I deserve better. And the way you treat me is the way I want to be treated. I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you, Levi. I can’t just forget about us. At the same time, I don’t want him to find out.” Her voice cracked. “It’s messed up.”
While I could tell Presley believed what she’d just told me, it was possible she was confused.
“How do you know your feelings for me are the real deal?” I asked.
Her eyes narrowed. “What do you mean? When you know, you just…know.”
“There’s no doubt we’re addicted to each other sexually, but what if this is just a strong physical attraction that’s clouding your judgment?”
Her voice grew louder. “Because I think about you all of the time, even when you’re not physically with me, and because you make me happy. I’m not going to deny that I’m extremely physically attracted to you. That is a big part of it. But what we have is so much more than sex.”
“It means more to me, too,” I whispered.
“You make me feel safe, Levi—in a way no one else ever has, certainly not Tanner.”
I finally drew her into my arms and held her tight. But the longer I held her, the deeper the seeds of doubt seemed to grow.
Pulling back to look at her, I said, “Even if by some stretch of the imagination we could keep being together a secret, Tanner isn’t the only complication. Our relationship has worked thus far because I’m here for you day in and day out, but soon it won’t be anything like that. We’d be living apart for a big chunk of the year, and that’s the opposite of what you need to continue to feel safe with me. It’s unstable. Things are about to change in a big way. And I’m starting to doubt whether I’m really what’s best for you and Alex.”
Presley closed her eyes, as if my words pained her. When she opened them, she said, “You just told me every reason we shouldn’t be together, Levi, and yet I’m still standing here in front of you, wanting you more than anything else. That’s not going to change.” She placed her hands around my face. “I’m scared to lose you.”
The fear in her eyes was palpable. I had no answers. All I could offer her right now was physical comfort, because the words wouldn’t come. And I needed her so damn badly, too.
So even though this was the last thing I should be doing, I pressed my lips to hers. Presley melted into me with a sigh, and I knew what she was feeling. All day, my hands had been balled into fists, my jaw locked tight, and my forehead was going to have a few new wrinkles with a matching set of frown lines. Yet the moment we connected, everything seemed to fade into the background, as if nothing in the world was more important than this kiss. Scooping her up into my arms, I kicked the hotel room door closed and carried her into the bedroom.
It felt like a dream as I set her down on the bed. Never in my life had I had such feelings for a woman. Presley lay in the center of the bed with her golden hair fanned out all across the pillow, and I hovered over her, staring down. I ran my thumb over her soft cheek.
“As much as things between us are complicated, falling for you was the simplest thing I’ve ever done. No matter what happens, I want you to know I will never regret you. You’ve changed me, Presley.” I had to swallow to keep from getting choked up.
She smiled sadly. “Make love to me, Levi.”
This time when I kissed her, it felt different than all of the other times—more passionate and more intimate. I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but right now, I was absolutely head-over-heels in love, and I wanted nothing more than to show her with my body.
After I undressed us, I reached for my wallet on the end table to take out a condom. But Presley covered my hand, stopping me.
“I’m on the pill, and I haven’t been with anyone other than you in a long time, if you’d want to…not use one.”
I blew out a jagged breath. “I would love that. I just hope I don’t embarrass myself when I get to feel you without anything between us.”
She smiled and slipped my wallet from my hand, letting it drop to the floor. “You can always make it up to me with a second time. Now, c’mere and kiss me some more.”
I smiled. “Yes, ma’am.”
We kissed for what seemed like hours, slow and deep, just the way I wanted to be inside her when it was time. But for now, my focus was on lavishing Presley with all the attention I hadn’t been able to give her lately. I lowered my mouth to her creamy neck, sucking along her pulse line and trailing wet kisses across her collarbone from one end to the other. Then I kissed my way up to her ear and whispered, “I’ve dreamed about coming inside of you. Filling that beautiful, tight pussy until it’s so full, I watch my cum drip down your legs.”
Presley moaned. It felt like I might explode if I didn’t get inside of her soon, so I gripped my cock, dragged the head over her clit, and swirled it around before lining myself up at her opening. Without a barrier, her wet heat was already better than anything I’d ever felt, so I pushed inside slowly, hoping I could make it a few minutes. But she was so tight and warm, with only the crown inside of her I already wanted to let go. The urge to fill her was carnal, almost animalistic, like I was a lion who needed to mark my territory to ward off other predators. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to think of anything that might slow me down, but the feeling of being inside her raw was too consuming to allow my thoughts to wander.
Presley reached up and touched my cheek, making me open my eyes.
“Don’t hold back, please. Just let it happen. There’s nothing I want more.”
I swallowed and nodded before taking one last deep breath and pushing the rest of the way inside. When my balls hit her ass, my body started to shake.
Presley locked eyes with me. She looked as desperate as I felt. “Fill me, Levi. Please.”
After that, I lost it. Presley wrapped her legs around my back, and I let go of any attempt to make slow, passionate love, in favor of fucking her into oblivion. We grinded and groped, scratched and screamed, and I penetrated her so hard that I was certain I’d never been this deep inside a woman before.
“Levi…faster...more.” She gasped. “Oh God…I’m gonna…”
My body vibrated from head to toe. The sound of our sweat-slicked bodies slapping against each other was the only thing that mattered. There could have been a fire raging under the bed, and I wouldn’t have been able to stop. Presley’s jaw went slack, her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and then I felt it—her muscles contracting around me, squeezing my cock like a vise, and I started to come with her.
“Fuck…Presley…. Fuck, fuck… Fuuuck.” My cock pulsed inside her as I let go. I visualized what I’d dreamed about—only now it wasn’t a dream. It was actually happening, and I could picture it so much clearer—my cum filling her pussy as my cock slid in and out, so much that it seeps out around where we’re joined, and warm, thick cream slides down her legs. Imagining it while it’s actually happening took things to a whole other level.
After, we both panted as I continued to glide slowly in and out.
“Wow…” Presley breathed out with a smile. “That was…”
“Yeah, it was.” I smiled and brushed my lips with hers. “You’re incredible.”
“I’m glad we did that for the first time without a condom here and not at home. Alex definitely would have heard that.”
I smiled. “Fern might’ve enjoyed hearing it.”
We both laughed, but a few seconds later the euphoric look on her face fell, and we locked eyes. Neither of us needed to say what had crossed our minds, but that didn’t make it any le
ss of an eye opener.
Tanner would have blown a gasket.
CHAPTER 24
* * *
Levi
I kept the hotel room.
I wasn’t sure exactly what had made me do it, but when I’d gone to check out, I slid the key across the counter and then pulled it back, instead asking the front desk clerk if I could extend my stay.
Over the last few days, I’d debated why I’d done it. Was I making sure I had a place to escape to if I needed to get out of the house, or was I hoping Presley and I might meet up there again at some point? If it were the latter, I probably would’ve given her one of the keys by now, or at least mentioned it. Yet I hadn’t done either. Instead, I’d returned to The Palm.
I stood in the dark kitchen, lost in thought while sipping my morning coffee when Presley walked in. She went straight to the refrigerator and took out the half and half. Then she turned around and walked toward the coffee pot. She’d yet to look up.
“Morning,” I said.
Presley jumped, and her hand flew to cover her heart. “Oh my God. Were you standing there when I walked in?”
I nodded. “Been standing here about fifteen minutes now.”
“I didn’t see you.”
I sipped my coffee. “You looked pretty lost in thought.”
She sighed, setting down the container. “I feel like that’s all I do lately—think.”
“I know the feeling.”
She poured her coffee and leaned against the counter next to me. “You’re leaving in fifteen days.”
I nodded. “Fifteen days and four hours. My flight is at ten thirty.”
Presley lowered her voice. “Will you come back at any point?”
“Most games are on Sundays. Mondays are team meetings and physical therapy appointments. We practice Tuesday through Friday. Saturday we travel for away games or have planning meetings for home games.”
“What about the weeks you don’t have games? You get a bye week or two, right?”
