I heard the door close upstairs. Footsteps coming down the stairs. It was Chase. Here to put in his two cents, I was sure. No need to even say hey, he knew what was going on.
“So what're you going through, man? What's on your mind?” Chase asked.
“I made the wrong decision. I think I knew it all along,” I responded.
“You're thinking with your head and not your heart.”
“Now or when I made the original decision?”
“Both. What girl can you absolutely not live without?” he asked. Tough question.
“How the hell am I supposed to decipher that?”
“Simple. You lost each at one point or another. Which one hurt worse to lose?” I had to think about what Chase was saying for a moment. Lexi and Maddie, the splits were vastly different. But which one hurt worse?
Mary-Margaret. But she wasn't coming back.
Evening had struck, I was lying on my bed staring at the ceiling. By this point, Maddie must have been quite worried. She didn't know I was here. She didn't know where I was. I barely knew where I was.
The front door slammed shut. Only one person I knew to have a temper that could sound like that... Ayrton was here. I heard him throw his keys on the kitchen counter. He was headed my way. Sure enough, he stormed into my room.
“Get up. Get the fuck up,” he said to me, half calm but I could tell he was royally pissed. I slowly stood up and he pushed me with all of his strength back onto and across my bed. He pushed me with such force that I flipped off the other side of the bed.
“What the fuck, dude?” I yelled as I stood back up.
“How about you tell me what the fuck? Like, what the fuck is the matter with you? I just had to lie to Maddie, man. I had to lie to a girl I have a ton of respect for and for some fucking reason, she loves you. At this point, I don't fucking know why. You're a selfish piece of shit, you know that?”
“What the hell is the matter with you?” I asked.
“It's about fucking time you get some Cenecci style tough love, asshat. I'm not supporting you on this one, not one fucking bit. Fourteen years, dude. Fourteen fucking years we've been together since leaving Ohio. Not one thing have I failed to back you on, but this? No fucking way dude. No way am I supporting you on this.”
“Why not?”
“Why not? Why fucking not? Seriously? You are so full of shit on this! You're fabricating your own problems as if your life is some kind of soap opera. Well guess what? You're going to lose Maddie and you're going to lose Lexi. How much more are you going to lose before you realize Mary-Margaret ain't coming back? Maddie is the girl for you. Period. End of story. You chose her, and you meant to choose her. You knew exactly what you were doing, and now you want to go back to Lexi? Dude, what the fuck is clouding your vision?” Kid could have a real potty mouth when he wanted to.
“I don't know. I don't know how I ended up here. I don't know what drove me to the point that I incessantly question myself,” I told him. It was rather disconcerting to know the only place I didn't question myself was on the race track. When it came to women, ever since Mary-Margaret, I questioned all of them and myself.
“What can I do to help you get it back?” he asked me calmly.
Ayrton couldn't help. I knew what I had to do. I had to see Maddie. I didn't know if Ayrton was right or not. I just had to see Maddie. Ayrton had directed her to the Rock House. I jumped in Betsy and headed that way.
I parked the truck in the garage and headed up the steps to the house. I went to the kitchen and there she was. Cleaning the dishes by hand. I never knew why she did that. She told me years ago that she never used to do the dishes by hand, but since she met me, she found it very soothing when her days became arduous. It was one of those little quirks I loved about her.
“Hey Maddie,” I said. She wiped away a tear and kept washing.
“I didn't think you were coming.”
“I'm sorry,” I said.
“It's okay. I mean, I deserve it. I've left you enough times. It's taken you longer than it should have to get even.”
“I don't want to get even, Maddie. I want to make sure this is the right decision for me, for you – For us, really. I don't want to get you stuck in a marriage that leaves you unhappy or unfulfilled.”
She turned around and looked at me. And she was just a bit perturbed. She didn't like that comment at all. “Being married to you is exactly what would make me happy and fulfilled. Why would you ever think otherwise?”
“I don't know. Years ago, I stopped trusting myself, my instincts.”
“And I didn't help that, did I?” she asked.
“Honestly? No, you didn't. But it was all part of our journey. And --” I caught myself. I knew what I was about to say, and suddenly all of my thoughts and concerns fell into place. “And I wouldn't have it any other way.”
“Then why are you leaving?” Maddie asked. I took a moment to answer. I couldn't do this to her. It didn't matter what she'd done in the past. I wanted my passionate, stunning young Maddie. I wanted my Maddie. All of her.
“I'm not leaving. We are leaving. Let's go somewhere. Anywhere. Just you and me,” I said. She snickered cynically.
“What're you talking about?”
“Something different. An adventure. Just you and me. What do ya say?”
She contemplated for a moment. “Let me get my things.”
Before the next morning, we were in Napa Valley. I stopped next to a vineyard in Oakville. This particular vineyard happened to be owned by The Vector Group. We parked on the property and sat on the back of my truck. Out in front of us, a slew of grape vines and off in the distance, the Mayacamas mountain range. Slowly but surely, the sun peaked over the top of the mountains.
“Oh my,” Maddie said. It was a majestic scene, I could see the reflection of the purple and gold sunrise in her green eyes. It only made her more beautiful.
“You like?” I asked.
“Of course I do, what's not to like?” she asked. I leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “So last night...”
“I needed a reminder of what I love about you.” I told her. And it was just as simple as that. I needed to remember why I loved her. I needed to remember why I chose her over Lexi. I needed to remember why, outside of Mary-Margaret, Maddie was the most amazing young woman I'd ever met. And that is exactly what I got.
Weeks passed. Maddie and I found our stride once again and the racing was as flawless as ever. I was grabbing a quick bite to eat behind the paddock after finishing up Free Practice 1 in Italy. Monza was shaping up to be a great weekend, the car was incredibly fast. We were turning speeds over 215 MPH in a straight line. To my surprise, I was approached by Formula Championship legend Niki Lawler. I'd never before spoken with him, but I knew his entire story. His fiery wreck that probably should have killed him at Hockenheim in 1976 let McLaren man James Hurt back into the title hunt.
“Mister Sumpter, I heard you are getting married,” he said to me.
“Mister Lawler --”
“Call me Niki --”
“Yes, Niki... Indeed I am getting married. Beautiful young lady.”
“I saw her. She is beautiful. I remember hearing what happened with Mary-Margaret. What makes you think the same won't happen with this girl?” he asked daringly.
“What are you saying, Niki?” I responded.
“Very simple. You and me, we are drivers. We know every time we get in that car, we may never get out. We know what risk we are putting ourselves in. We go to war and risk our lives for that feeling that nothing else can give us. But your wife, your love, she is doing the same thing. She might as well be in the car with you, because if you die, she dies. You must understand, she is sacrificing her own life for your passion. Tell me something – How many driver's wives do you see in this pit lane?”
“Not many,” I responded.
“Exactly. Very few women can ever understand what we do. But more than that, very few women can take a life whe
re on any given day, their man may come back looking like me,” Niki said as he withdrew his hat and revealed the scars from his 1976 wreck. “Or you very well may not come back at all.”
“What can I do to help Maddie? If it's that hard on her, what can I do to ease her conscience?”
“You're asking me for help?”
“Of course, you've been through it before. I respect your opinion,” I told him.
“You're a very smart young man. You're in a much different position than I was though. The cars are still dangerous, but much safer. If you stopped during a race like I did in Suzuka, 1976, you'd likely be kicked out of your ride. There are far fewer deaths today in racing, far fewer bad wrecks, so people don't understand how much risk is still in the sport. Equally, your private life is very public, and it is not any choice of yours. The media, they have made your life out to be a farce. As many headlines as you'd make winning a race, you'd make more if your girlfriend left you.”
I nodded, expecting that this was the best answer he would be able to give me. I was disappointed though... I always sought solace from those who had experience in situations previous to me. I really did respect his position.
“But that being said, do everything you can to make sure she trusts you. Tell her you are coming back, and when you get in that car, remember the discretion it takes to be great. That discretion is the same thing that will keep you alive, and it's the only thing that will keep your wife around.”
And that was the moment when I realized everything I had done wrong with Mary-Margaret. I probably shouldn't have been thinking about her under such a circumstance, I mean I was asking Niki about what to do with Maddie. I couldn't help but think of Mary-Margaret. I never held up my end of the deal OFF of the race track. I didn't do anything to make her trust me. I didn't reassure her.
It's probably the most disappointed I've ever felt with myself in my entire life.
I went back to the hauler and saw Maddie sitting there. She was reading a printout from Ayrton's desk. I wasn’t sure if it was telemetry from the HQ in England or a love letter from Seratti since the two of them made up just a few days earlier. It never ceased to amaze me how intrigued Maddie was by the intricacies of the different forms of racing. Mary-Margaret never cared at all about the racing. It made me love Maddie even more when she showed so much interest in what I do.
“Hey hun, you dizzy yet?” Maddie asked me.
“Not at all. Wait – How did you know I might be dizzy?”
“I was talking to Ayrton. He said a lot of times driver's will report being dizzy after their first laps at Monza.” I love this girl.
“Not this time at least. It was dizzyingly fast though. It was an interesting feeling going that fast. That's by far the highest speed I've ever touched,” I responded.
“What does this all mean?” Maddie asked. I approached her, took a look at the printout. It was a graph tracing the average heat temps of each tire around a series of laps. Each tire had three colors to it, one for the inside shoulder, one for the outside, and one for the middle.
“See how these lines go up and down? From left to right, it's graphing consecutive laps. These are the average temps for each section of each tire across fifteen laps. It helps us figure out whether or not our setup is giving us the prime results we need to go fast.”
“And what about the prime results to keep you alive?”
“Oh no need to worry about that. Ayrton would never let anything happen to me. If something ever does happen with me in the car, surely it'll be my own damn stupid fault.”
I poured over several other printouts with Maddie for about an hour. She was so interested by it, and she picked up on the concepts quicker that I would have expected. This girl had never given herself a chance to be truly intelligent before. Now she was blossoming into a brilliant young mind willing to learn anything and everything.
The race came and went. We dominated from beginning to end and further extended our points lead. The festivities were over and I was hanging out near the team hauler doing a couple of final interviews. I saw Niki watching from afar. I finished up, gave Maddie a kiss, and ran to him.
“That was a hell of a race you just ran,” he said as I approached.
“You're wearing the wrong colors, Niki,” I told him in jest. He was wearing Ferrari red.
“I realize this.”
“I just wanted to say thank you. Your advice is well received and I will definitely be taking it to heart. It means even more to me that it happened at the track where you got back in the car,” I said.
“You know your history.”
“Yes, I do.”
“I should have never gotten back in that car so soon. I was not ready. But I was too young and stupid to stop myself. You are a very good driver, Mister Sumpter. But what most people will never see is just how intelligent you are. I feel blessed to still be alive every day. But this weekend, I feel blessed to have made your acquaintance.”
“Likewise. I look forward to seeing you for years into the future.”
“Only if I'm lucky.” And with that, Niki disappeared into the shadows. He reminded me a lot of Dale. He was every bit as smart, every bit as cocky, every bit as daring. But unlike most, he recognized his mistakes and wanted to make sure others didn't do the same thing.
The rest of the season passed and we walked home with yet another championship title. We were so dominant in our first year at the top level of motorsports that the sanctioning body made many rules changes. We signed on to return for a second year with McLaren and were looking forward to the challenge that the new rule book presented. Christmas was spent as a team. Maddie had made such an effort to become a part of my life, I wanted to become an even bigger part of hers. She was training me to work at her range. I found myself knee deep in horse shit on more than one occasion. Not entirely what I expected to be doing with my off season, but Maddie was totally worth it.
The beginning of the 2009 season came with many unknowns. I would soon find out that it also brought a nasty storm that would knock me clean off my rocker. Ayrton was working day and night on the car. I spent my days on the simulator. The car wasn't very good, honestly. The rule book brought huge changes to the rear end of the car, and our suspension geometry was all off. We had a lot of work to do and not enough time to do it.
We headed for Australia knowing that we were behind the eight ball. We also knew that Maddie wouldn't be able to attend the second, third, or fourth races of the season. She had work to do on the ranch and we agreed that we were going to have to sacrifice time together to keep our lives going in the same direction.
Maddie and I were still dedicated to making the Australia weekend amazing. While things on the track were a struggle, we were able to pull out a clutch win with some strategy plays that Ben came up with. To date, it was the most impressive job Ben had done on that pit box.
After the race, I was walking through the garage area and toward our hauler to change out of my firesuit. Maddie intercepted me wearing that beautiful bright smile she always had. Recently, she had dyed her brunette and it was phenomenal. But she brought back those golden locks just before we headed out to the circuit, and as much as I loved her as a brunette, I definitely missed my beautiful golden angel.
“My handsome man! You were so great out there. Now, are you ready for your prize?” Maddie asked flirtatiously as she yanked me into the hauler and locked the door behind us.
“Yes madame, I am,” I responded as I lifted her up and set her on the counter. Things started getting aggressive quickly. This wasn't abnormal for Maddie. She was an intensely sexual young lady. Just as things were about to get interesting, she dropped a bomb on me.
“I'm pregnant.”
Silence. Deafening silence. I wasn't upset. I wasn't scared. Hell, I wasn't even subdued if you know what I mean. Sumpter men are virile human beings.
“Excuse me?” I responded.
“I'm pregnant. We... Are pregnant,” she said. She seeme
d afraid to tell me, to elaborate on it. Most guys would be terrified of such a concept. But me? I was happy. I was excited. I wanted a child with Maddie. I wanted a family with her.
“You're serious, aren't you?” I asked with a smile.
“Yes!” she responded. She threw her arms around me one more time and our lips locked as if they never had before. That moment, we were connected in the most symbiotic manner. We were in perfect harmony, right down to the beat of our hearts. Together we shared an experience that shaped the rest of my life. My Maddie, my truest of true loves, was bearing our child. I'll never forget the feeling I had when I learned I was to be a father. Maddie and I were no longer separate entities. Finally, we were truly one.
Before Maddie left for the States the next day, I gave her one final kiss. We placed our foreheads together and shared a moment of elation. My future wife, the mother of my child. For the first time in my life, I wasn't afraid of being away from her. Every girl I'd ever been with, I always had a hint of fear inside of me anytime I wasn't there to protect her. Maddie was strong enough to be a mother, to be my wife. She was more than strong enough to take care of herself and protect her heart knowing that I needed it to survive.
Still, the first weekend without Maddie was a tough one. The whole time, I was looking forward to getting home in the week between the Shanghai and Bahrain races. I was going to run back to the States for exactly one day to see her. She had no idea I was coming. It was going to be a great surprise. The team performed well despite not bringing home a win in Malaysia. A solid points day was all we could manage there. If you asked me, it was because the magic of Maddie wasn't there with us. We were able to bring home a huge win in Shanghai.
On April 22nd, I had arrived back in Bozeman and headed straight for the Montana Mansion where Maddie was staying. It was just six in the morning, I was going to have plenty of time to get there, set up something special for her to come home to, and then go surprise her on the range.
The Legend: The Love of Ryan Sumpter Page 20
