The Riddle of the Gods

by Lyra Shanti

“Now that our queen, Srah-Hana has been blessed by the ancient Gods,” announced Joh, who was now speaking in the universal Unian language, “let our new God and protector, come forward to be officially crowned our king!”

  The crowd cheered as Axis stood paralyzed with nerves, pretending he was unaware of whom they were speaking about.

  Looking at him with a knowing smile, Srah winked at Axis and motioned with her forefinger. Faking sudden illumination, he walked over, then stood next to her in the front of the crowd. Feeling a little silly, Axis smiled at Srah, trying to apologize with his eyes. She grinned lovingly, then held his hand.

  Axis bent his head a little, allowing Joh to place the beautifully weaved branches around his head.

  “Holy day!” shouted Joh to the Sirini as they wildly hollered in return.

  It was a beautiful ritual, although Axis couldn't wait till it was over. He wanted to go back to his new tree-hut with Srah and relax. Joh had designed their hut as a gift for their union, and it was very roomy and comfortable.

  The Sirini had been nomadic so long they had not built lasting homes since Joh was a child. The gift of a true, grounded home was a symbol of a new era for the people, but it also ensured their beloved God, and newly crowned king, would always come back home to their queen, and to Sirin.

  Of course, Axis didn’t need to be persuaded. He already felt that living with Srah on Sirin was his home. The only problem was Ayn felt like his home as well. He hated how he couldn’t seem to have both.

  However, at this very moment, all that mattered to Axis was Srah and her crowning. It was her day, and he wanted to revel in her glory.

  After the crowd quieted down from their rejoicing, Joh held the new king and queen's hands, placing them together as he proudly announced, “Forever live our Hana and Sarax! Now let us begin the feast!”

  Leading the way, Joh took Srah and Axis to a large hut, decorated in their honor with standing candles and yellow grass from the hills of the southern plains. Round tables made of clay had been placed inside with a raised, long table at the back of the hut where Srah and Axis were sat. Then, the rest of the tribe were allowed to enter the hut so they could find their places at the various tables.

  Next came rhythmic drummers and chanting singers who half-spoke, half-sang about the glories of old queens and heroes. They likened Srah and Axis with Thali and her mate and hero, Zoonaki. It tickled and warmed both their hearts as they listened to the song.

  After a few hours of music, poetry, speeches, drinking, and a lot of eating, which consisted of mostly Anko bird and Zeewah, the feast finally came to an end.

  Srah and Axis took their leave first, causing everyone else to stand up and cheer them once again.

  When they arrived at their hut, which was only a short walk away, Axis immediately took off his crown of branches, then sat down on a cushioned bench and exhaled loudly.

  Srah smiled, sitting down next to him. “Are you a bit overwhelmed, my husband?”

  Axis shook his head and replied, “That's putting it lightly, my wife.”

  Her smile grew wider, which made Axis smile in return.

  “You are happy though, admit it,” she said, grinning and gently poking his side.

  “I'm happy that you are mine, yes,” he said as he put his arm around her waist, “and that our planet is safe... for now anyway.”

  Srah looked at him as her face turned slowly more serious. “You want to go to Kri, I know... but I didn't think you'd want to leave tonight. It's our wedding night, Axis!”

  “No, of course I won't leave tonight," he said, reassuring her with a squeeze, "but... I really feel I must go soon. Ayn needs me. I can feel it.”

  “Tomorrow then?” she said with a pout.

  “Perhaps...” Axis replied. “However, I must remind you that I can travel through time and space, if I choose, and I could be back before you even have time to miss me.”

  Srah smirked and said, “That's if you remember how to do it, you silly boy.”

  Axis laughed a little, then passionately kissed her.

  “I love you, my beautiful queen!”

  “I love you too, my handsome God!”

  “Oh, please don't call me that,” he protested as he got up to take off his golden robe and vest. “It's bad enough everyone else here calls me a God. I hate it!”

  Srah stood up and began taking off her robe as well. “But that's how they see you, my love. Can you blame them when your kind have been worshiped by our people for eons? Plus, you are able to do such amazing things. You are even a God to me! Truly, I think you should fear it less and simply take it as a compliment.”

  Axis sighed and nodded, knowing she was right, though it made him uncomfortable nonetheless.

  “I just wish they saw me as, not a God, but just another being. I know I have abilities they can't fathom, but... I really am just another flawed creature in the universe. I'm not an all-knowing God or anything. If I was, I'd be less frightened about the future, and I wouldn't feel so insecure all the time.” Sighing, he lay on the bed, adding, “If they really knew the truth of me, they'd think I was a coward.”

  Srah frowned, then curled up next to him. “You listen to me now, my silly husband. You may be insecure at times, and you may be flawed, but you are not a coward. You are the exact opposite. You are one of the bravest beings in the universe! And you will help Ayn to be brave as well. I know both of your hearts, and you are each filled with incredible courage, even if you don't know it yourselves.”

  Axis sighed, wanting to believe her words. “I hope you're right, my wife. I can sense that Ayn is going to need all his strength soon, and I'm not sure if I can give it to him.”

  “You will,” she whispered, softly petting his face, “and you will conquer your fears together. Trust me, I know these things. I'm Hana, after all.”

  Winking at him, she wrapped her leg around his waist, causing him to change a little, growing more Sarax in his tail as he became excited. Soon, they embraced, forgetting their fears while consummating their wedding in sensual bliss.

  –

  Not able to sleep, Reese found herself pacing the halls. With a few hours more before daybreak, she couldn't seem to rest. She had tried to sleep for a little while with Pei, but after having a terrible nightmare, she couldn't sit still.

  It had been strange and tense being with Pei anyhow. All he did was pester her about Baran, and she wasn’t in the mood to explain her feelings about her ex-lover, especially since she wasn’t quite sure what they were. There was so much left unsaid and undone between her and Baran. In truth, she needed closure about him, and the only way to get it was to go and talk it out. To do this, however, she had to sneak away from Pei.

  A twinge of guilt hung over her head as she walked toward Baran’s private quarters. Despite her conscience, she couldn’t stop her feet. They seemed to be walking without her thinking consciously about it.

  Baran was fast asleep when Reese knocked on his door. He was deep in dream, but after a few knocks, he finally opened his eyes. Groggily, he got up from his bed, put on a robe, then walked to his living area.

  Opening the door ever so slightly, he saw her face and said, “Oh, Reese, it’s you. What… what are you doing here? What time is it? Is there an emergency of some kind?”

  “No… nothing like that,” she said nervously. “Look, I’m sorry for waking you, Baran, but can I come in? We need to talk.”

  “Sure…” he replied, confused and tired.

  He opened the door and watched Reese walk into his living room. She wore a long, teal dress, hung on her body loose and relaxed. Unlike her Lirhan uniform, which was tight and showed off her curves, this dress was soft and feminine, yet not overtly sexual. Baran was surprisingly pleased to see her in such an outfit. It almost looked motherly to him, which brought a smile to his face.

  “So…” he said as they sat down on his dark red couch, “what brings you to my quarters at such a late, or early, hour?”

  Reese
looked around for a moment, taking in the fact that she was actually there. She then said, “To be honest, Baran, I’m not really sure.”

  Not knowing exactly how to respond, he smirked and said, “Well, at three in the morning, I’m hoping there is a good reason in that brain of yours somewhere.”

  “Oh, shut up,” she quipped. “Look, I just… need to talk to you. I mean, tonight… earlier… we were connecting like we used to. And to be honest, it frightened me a little.”

  “It did? Why?”

  “Because there’s so much undone between us. The way we left as lovers was so messed up.”

  “That’s not my fault. You left me, if I recall.”

  “You cheated on me!”

  “No, I didn’t cheat. I flirted, maybe, yes. But I was a stupid, young boy and-”

  “You’re still a stupid-”

  “Hey! I would never have done any of the foolishness if you had given yourself fully to me. Instead, you acted like you were all mine, and then out of nowhere, you wouldn’t even let me touch you! I still don’t understand it. One day, we were professing our undying love to each other, and the next, you acted as if the very sight of me made you sick. What was I supposed to think? Of course I flirted and went to the arms of other women, who were nowhere near as beautiful and sexy as you, but… well, I thought I lost you, so… that was that. Gods, why are we even talking about this now... in the middle of the night?!”

  Reese couldn’t help from tearing up. She cupped her hands over her face, not knowing how to tell him the truth.

  “Reese,” he continued in a whisper, “what happened between us?” Slowly, he knelt in front of her, gently taking her hands away from her face. “Please… tell me what I did wrong. Tell me what’s going on inside you.”

  She was crying without reserve now, and Baran hated it. All he wanted was for her to be happy, even if it meant she was with another man. At least he believed Pei was a good one. He knew she deserved nothing less.

  “It’s nothing you did wrong, Baran,” she finally spoke in between tears. “It was something that happened, which indirectly involved you, but… it wasn’t your fault really.”

  “What? What happened, Reese? Please, tell me.”

  He sat next to her and held her shaking hands. He had never seen her in such a vulnerable state. He half-liked it, though it disturbed him greatly.

  “If I tell you, Baran, you have to promise me two things.”

  “Yes?”

  “First, you must promise not to overreact or become violent.”

  “My Gods, what horror have you’ve kept from me?”

  “And second,” she added, ignoring his question, “you have to promise not to speak of it to anyone else. I may tell others in time, but only when I feel it is right, no sooner. Can you promise me this?”

  Baran felt extremely uneasy, but he nodded nonetheless and said, “Of course, Reese. You have my word.”

  Taking a deep breath, she said, “Alright… I will tell you what happened, though I swore to myself I never would.”

  Baran held her hands and looked at her with understanding eyes.

  “You see…” she continued, “shortly after you and I became serious, just after you introduced me to your family, something happened that changed me forever. I couldn’t trust anyone after it, especially not men. I hate to even talk about this, but… you deserve to know, and I need to tell you in order to move on.”

  “Please, Reese, just tell me.”

  She looked away as a tear fell from her face.

  “I couldn’t be your virgin bride, like you probably wanted. It would have been a lie… because I wasn’t a virgin.”

  “Really?” he replied, surprised. “But you seemed so… innocent back then.”

  “I was,” she replied with a grimace, “until a man, an older man… took me without consent.”

  “What?! Without consent?!” he loudly snapped. “Reese, are you saying you were raped?!”

  “See, this is how I didn’t want you to react, Baran!”

  “I can’t help it! Why didn’t you tell me this back then? Who was it? I would have killed him!”

  “Which is exactly why I didn’t tell you!”

  Baran grabbed at his forehead, pulling back his dark hair in frustration.

  “An older man, you say?” he asked through gritted teeth. “Oh, Gods, tell me it wasn’t Atlar!”

  “Baran... think,” she said with a sarcastic tone, “if Atlar had raped me, would I really have willingly become his lover later on? In fact, Atlar was the one who helped me feel like a woman again. If anything, he saved me from shame and self-hate. He was not the one to blame.”

  “Alright then… who was to blame? It wasn’t Octian, was it? He is such a despicable man. I won’t be the least bit shocked if it was him, and being that he is already charged with murder, we can just add rape to the list of his crimes. I hope to put him away for life!”

  “No, Baran… it wasn’t either of your uncles.”

  “Well, who then?”

  Reese hesitated telling him the truth, though she felt she must. After nearly fifteen years, she couldn’t hold it inside any longer.

  “I’m sorry, Baran, but... it was your father.”

  Stunned, Baran sat still, stone-faced, with his lips pursed and brow tight.

  After a moment, he quietly uttered, “What?”

  “Your father attacked me. Just after that dinner you invited me to. I suppose he had drunk too much, as usual. He offered to walk me to see the horses you had at the time, if you remember. I thought you loved and respected your father, The General, and I was unsuspecting and stupid. I trusted him. But when we got to the stable, he pushed me down and forced himself on me. He was so violent, and back then, I couldn’t defend myself. I hadn’t even joined The Lirhan yet. I suppose what happened was one of the biggest reasons I joined - to prove to him, to you, to everyone, and even to myself, that I was not a helpless victim. I went through months of hell, Baran. I couldn’t tell you. It would have destroyed you to know what your father did. I had no one I could tell. If I had told my brother, he would have committed murder against his own general. I just didn’t know what to do, especially after I got…”

  Baran, though deeply hurt, was focused on her every word. “After you got what, Reese?”

  “After I got pregnant.” Ashamed, she hung her head down and cried.

  “Oh gods…” said Baran, horrified. His stomach churned as he thought more about his father. He had always hated when his father drank; it made Raifar irritable and sometimes even violent. Baran had no idea, however, how far into depravity his father went, and it sickened him to his core.

  “I’m so sorry,” said Reese, feeling vulnerable and somehow guilty. “I never meant for any of it to happen!”

  “Reese, stop,” replied Baran as he quietly cried. He then held her hands in his. “It wasn’t your fault. None of it. Please, don’t apologize for my father’s crime.”

  “I just hate how I dealt with it, or didn't deal with it, as the case may be. I closed up completely and couldn’t even face you. I was so childish. I know that now. Back then, though, I felt like I couldn't tell anyone.”

  “You didn’t even tell Ona? She was your closest friend back then, wasn’t she?”

  “Yes, but she was so young, younger than I was, and I was only fifteen. I didn’t want her, or anyone, to know. I was far too ashamed. Part of my silence was caused by what your father said to me. He said I had to keep what happened silent or he'd tell everyone I threw myself at him, and I asked for it with the way I was dressed and how flirty I had been at dinner. I hadn’t thought I was being flirty. I thought I was being polite. Your father twisted everything inside me, especially after the pregnancy... and I couldn't see straight. Gods, I’m so sorry, Baran. I never wanted you to know this about him.”

  “No, I’m glad you finally told me. It explains, well, everything. Reese… what happened to the baby? Did you…”

  “I lost it nat
urally, though I ended up feeling as though I wished it to happen. I’m not proud of that, and sometimes, Baran, I feel like the Gods are constantly punishing me for my mistakes.”

  “Oh, my sweetness, you didn't ask for any of this. I’m sure the Gods understand, as do I. I’m actually relieved to know the truth, though I hate that it happened to you. I feel horrible that I wasn’t there to stop him, and I wish I could go back in time and change it. I was a complete fool… and I had no idea why you suddenly hated me. Oh, Gods, my flirting with other girls when you were in such pain must have made it so much worse! I’m so sorry, Reese!”

  He grabbed her hands and kissed them, which made her smile sadly and pet his face.

  “It’s not your fault, Baran, though I guess I acted like it was. You didn’t know… and I should have told you.”

  “No, I didn't press hard enough because I was selfish and scared. I should have tried harder to understand. Oh, Reese… my sweet girl, I’m so, so sorry!”

  Both of them began to cry without reservation, then grabbed at each other as if they were about to fall off a cliff together.

  Suddenly, they found themselves kissing, desperately and full of repressed, passionate love.

  Unable to stop, they grabbed at each other’s hair and shoulders. Almost forgetting to breathe, they gasped in between kisses.

  “Oh Baran, I really can’t… I shouldn’t…”

  “I know,” he said as he held her tightly, “and I will understand if you walk out that door right now, “but Reese… every fiber of my being needs you. If you feel the same, then please stay, at least for now.”

  Unable to refuse his longing blue eyes, Reese leaned back on the couch and said, “Take me! Take me before the sun rises! Before the Gods even know we're together! Quickly, so they cannot force us apart again!”

  Baran, full of past pain and hunger, grabbed her sides and lay her down.

  Kissing as though it were the last day on the planet, they made love. It didn’t stop with once on the couch either. After years of suppressing their feelings, they made love again and again, until they finally fell asleep on Baran’s bed.

  When sunrise came, neither of them cared what had happened, nor if the Gods became aware of their lovemaking. Whether the Gods were wrathful or benevolent about such a passionate event had yet to be seen.