by Alice Ward
“Oh, that wasn’t something they teach in school,” he said, shaking his head. “That was a spiritual connection.” He continued shaking his head.
I followed the vet out as he was leaving and found Brandon walking toward the barn from where he’d parked his car nearby. I waved hello.
“Brandon! What a surprise. And in the middle of the day?”
He had a sort of silly grin on his face. Although he was wearing his suit pants, the jacket and necktie were missing and his top shirt button open. He was attempting to look casual. “Would you believe I just happened to be in the area and stopped by to see how things were going?”
“If you want me to, but I don’t,” I said, grinning and pushing my hair behind my ears. “You just missed all the excitement.”
“Oh, how’s that?” He was looking around, and I took a wild guess.
“She’s in the barn. Come on with me, but watch where you step,” I teased him and wondered if he caught the double entendre. “We had a mare foal this morning. The foal wasn’t in the best position, and she was in trouble. We thought we’d lose them both. Liane, Hawk’s fiancé, came by and completely took over. She seems to have some sort of affinity with animals, and she calmed the mare down enough that she delivered safely. Vet said he’d never seen anything like it.”
“Is that so? Well, hello, Lily.” He grinned as we walked into the barn interior.
Lily looked surprised. “Wore your riding clothes, I see,” she commented wryly and got a sheepish grin as an answer.
“Well, just was local and dropped by,” he tried again, and I gave him a look that told him it had been feeble the first time — just let it go.
“I heard Auggie telling you about the mare.” She walked up to him and gave him a brief hug. He seemed surprised and stiffened as he contemplated whether to hug her in return. I could tell by looking that Brandon was more than vaguely interested. “Here she comes now.” Lily turned as Liane came up.
“Liane, I’d like you to meet an old friend of the family, Brandon Knotts. Brandon, my future daughter-in-law, Liane Coventry.”
Liane nodded and smiled, her British reticence surfacing. “How do you do? I’m afraid I’m a bit of a mess right now.”
“You’re British?” Brandon asked. His tone suggested that he was a bit impressed, particularly after he’d heard our raving about her.
“Yes, both parents,” she explained.
“I hear congratulations are in order?”
“Yes. Thank you.” Liane turned to me. “Auggie, I’d come to talk to you about possibly allowing me to bring a small handful of children from the city out to see your farm and the horses. I know they can’t ride, but you’d be surprised how many of these underprivileged children in the city have never seen the equine country that lies only a few miles away.”
“Of course, Liane. I’m sure you want to go home and change clothes now. Why don’t you give me a call later with the details and we’ll set it up? You have no idea how much I appreciate what you did to help with the mare. You’re quite an unusual young lady.”
“Not really. Just a knack I inherited from my mom. Anyway, I won’t keep you, and you’re right. I do need a shower and some clean clothes.”
“If you like, you’re welcomed to go up the house and use my shower and grab something from my closet,” I suggested.
“Thank you so much, but I believe I’ll just go home. I have to be at the zoo in an hour and a half. It was nice to meet you, Mr. Knotts, and to see you again, Lily.” She gave me a warm hug as she left.
I turned to talk to Brandon, but found him in conversation with Lily, so I just shrugged and went to check on the mare and foal one more time before going back up to the house. “What’s going on?” It was Worth.
“Hello,” I said stiffly. “We just had a bit of excitement this morning with a mare having problems. Liane was here, and you wouldn’t believe the way she interacted with the mare — calmed her right down.”
“Not what I was referring to. Yes, I passed Liane as she was leaving. I got the impression that she felt three was a crowd.” He was frowning, and his tone wasn’t the least bit friendly.
I looked over his shoulder at Brandon and Lily. “Yes, three’s a crowd is a good description.”
Worth just stood there, looking at me. “Well, then I’ll leave you to it,” he said finally and left. I stood there trying to figure out what just happened. Why was he acting so strangely?
“Brandon, I think you’re being taken care of quite well, so I’ll say goodbye. I have some things to do up at the house.”
He nodded absently and gave a short wave of his hand. I winked at Lily as I passed by them. Worth was still at the house when I went inside. He came out of the kitchen carrying a sandwich and a glass of milk. Walking over to the patio, he stood before the door, eating his sandwich. His back was to me.
“Worth, is there something wrong? You’re behaving strangely.”
“Strangely? Is that what you call it?” He kept his back to me as he snorted.
“What on earth are you talking about?” I was completely baffled by his cold treatment. I knew we had a huge fundamental problem to work on, but for the most part, we were able to be cordial to one another, especially when there were others about.
He finished the last bite and downed his glass of milk. “Ahh,” he breathed as though finishing a glass of bourbon. His movements were exaggerated, his posture rigid. Something was wrong.
“Enjoy yourself, Auggie,” he said, setting his glass haphazardly on a nearby end table and giving me a sarcastic grin as he passed by on his way out the door.
“Worth?” I called after him.
He ignored me and slammed the door. The engine of his car roared to life, and I heard tires spinning in the gravel of the road’s shoulder.
I made myself a cup of tea and sat down to take stock. I was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed by the dynamics of all the relationships around me. Dad was quickly aging, and I knew he couldn’t live alone forever — particularly in that huge condo. I would have to discuss that with Worth. Then there was Worth, himself. We’d had that falling out, but I was past it. I had long ago learned that there was no way I would ever convince him to change. I would just have to factor in his shortcomings and love him for who he was. He was being cold, however, and spending more and more time at the office. Or so he said.
His hours had become erratic, and he appeared home at odd hours, almost as if he was trying to catch me off guard. We needed to resolve whatever was going on in his head and to have a talk about Marga. I had her under control at the moment, but she was bright and would figure a way to outwit me. At the very least, Worth and I had to be on the same page when it came to giving her permission and being consistent in her discipline.
Then there was Mark. God bless him, he was the best of all of us. In a family where misbehavior drew the most attention, however, it was important to keep him feeling appreciated.
Hawk. I sighed as I thought his name, as I found myself doing so often. I had no idea where that was going to go. I hoped that time would heal and that he would come by the house more and more often. That way we could get used to one another.
That gave me an idea. I called to Letty, and when she came in, I asked her to make a special picnic with fried chicken, baked macaroni and cheese, biscuits, and an apple pie. “Pack it into a basket along with some of your ginger cookies, would you?”
“How many people?” she wanted to know.
“I don’t know. Just make enough for a half dozen,” I answered, and she muttered a bit under her breath. For Letty, that wasn’t a bad thing. It meant you had her attention.
I busied myself in my office while Letty cooked. I’d recently installed a new computer and still had some bugs to work out. I made phone calls, including one to the owner of the new foal. They lived out of state and mentioned they’d be in town in a few weeks and would stop by. I wondered why some of these people even bothered to own horses. It was all
about status — a reason to hang out with equine people. Many of them had never even ridden a horse before. I tried not to be too critical. After all, these were the people my business catered to.
I looked up as I heard the front door close. Soon Mark was standing in my doorway, and I motioned him forward for a hug. “How are things?” I asked, wanting to share a little mother and son time.
“Fine.”
“That didn’t sound too enthusiastic. How’s that truck running?”
“Fine.”
I sighed. What does one talk about with a teenage son? “We had some excitement down in the barn this morning,” I told him and explained what happened. “You should have seen Liane. It was unbelievable. She certainly has a way with animals.”
“Cool.”
I wasn’t getting anywhere. “Would you like to ride over to Hawk’s with me later this afternoon? I’m taking him one of Letty’s famous picnics. Might be a good time to get re-acquainted.”
“No!”
I was struck by the vehemence of his response. “Mark! What on earth?”
He looked abashed but then his bottom lip popped out a bit, and he looked straight into my eyes. “Mom, there’s something not right about him. I know that’s awful to say about your own brother, but he’s just hateful towards me. Like he wants to jump me. I’ve never done anything and hardly even said ten words to him. You think he’s jealous because he was gone so long? Did I take something that should’ve belonged to him?”
Mark was acutely sensitive to other people’s feelings. “I guess I didn’t pick up on it like you did. He did grow up in another time and place, that much is certainly true. I can’t speak for his feelings because I’ve hardly spoken to him since he’s been back, either. That’s why I’m going by with the picnic. I thought it would be kind of an icebreaker, or maybe a peace offering, I don’t know. Sure you don’t want to go? You can protect me,” I teased but the look on his face wasn’t amusement.
“Mom, just let me pass on this, okay? I don’t know what his problem is, but I’d rather avoid him. Okay?”
“For now, but Mark, he is your brother and eventually I’m sure it will all settle down to normal. He’s getting married and will probably have children of his own. That tends to settle people down.”
“It didn’t do that for Dad,” he pointed out with a smirk.
I hugged him and could only shrug in return. He certainly did read people well. “Okay, then off with you and let me get my computer set up before I go. Do your homework.”
Mark gave me a half wave as he left the office. He’d never been a problem and always gotten good grades. The last thing I had to do was remind him about his homework.
Letty tapped on my door with word that the picnic would be ready in an hour. I took the opportunity to go upstairs, shower and change my clothes. I still smelled a bit like the birthing. I brushed my hair and tied it back in a ponytail. I looked out the window and saw that Brandon was just leaving, and Lily was waving goodbye with a huge smile on her face. I realized he’d been there over an hour and wondered about his being away from his law office for that length of time. It wouldn’t bother me a bit if they hit it off. It was about time Brandon found himself a wife, especially if he still wanted to have a family.
I was soon armed with a giant basket filled with food and decided to ride my golf cart up to Hawk’s rather than the car. It was only next door, even if it was about a half mile down the road from where our house sat. I pulled in to his drive and realized then that he had fenced and gated his property. I don’t know why I never noticed this before. Had he just done this? Since he was west of us, I didn’t pass his place on my way into town.
I pulled out my cell and realized I had no phone number for him. I called Worth, and he was in with a patient and couldn’t be disturbed. Then I thought to look for a number for Liane and this I found with no problem.
“Liane, this is Auggie. I’m sitting outside Hawk’s house with a surprise picnic, and he’s got his whole place gated. I had no idea. I don’t have a phone number for him. Can you give it to me?”
“Auggie, I can do better than that. He’s right here. Hang on.”
Hawk came on the line. “Hello?”
“Hawk, I’m sitting outside your house. I brought a picnic with me and thought we could spend some time together — just you and me. I thought to surprise you but the surprise is on me. I can’t get in.”
“You should call first, Mother.”
My heart sank at his harsh tone. “I only live next door, and I would certainly knock. You mean to tell me your own mother has to get permission to see her son?”
“There was a time when the roles were reversed, as I recall.”
The bitterness in his voice cut me to the core. I didn’t even know what to say. I was confused at first and then became angry. “May I at least have your phone number then? So I can call in the future.”
There was a long pause at the other end and then he gave it to me, but I heard the immense reluctance in his voice.
“Thank you. I don’t understand, Hawk, I really don’t. I wanted to talk with you, I think we need to go over some things from the past and get them out. It can’t be kept bottled up inside forever.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re my son and I love you. I want us to be a complete family, not split apart like this. We need to be there for one another.”
“You’ve already got two other kids to take care of you in your old age.”
“Hawk! How can you say such things?” I began to cry. I tried not to but just couldn’t help myself. The tears were backed up and needed to flow. “Okay, have it your way, but I’m going to leave this picnic outside the gate. When you come home, it will be waiting for you. There’s nothing that has to be immediately refrigerated — it will keep here for at least a couple of hours.”
He said nothing more, and then there was silence. My phone returned to its background screen, and I realized he’d hung up. Heartbroken, I clambered off the golf cart and put the massive basket on the pavement, just outside his unbreachable gate. I climbed back into the cart and started down the road, continuing to cry as I drove. At one point I became terribly angry and decided to go back to get the food. Why should I give in and support his resentment? I turned around, and that’s when my heart really broke.
Hawk and Liane were standing outside the gate, picking up the food. They’d both been right there in the house the whole time I was locked outside.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Hawk
“You’re mad at me,” I said to Liane as I picked up the heavy picnic basket, but she wasn’t listening, she was watching my mother driving the golf cart away. I turned to follow her gaze and froze when Mother stopped, turning to look back at us.
“She’s hurting, Hawk,” Liane murmured, holding her stomach as if she felt ill herself.
“Not my problem.” The words were harsh and I immediately knew I didn’t mean them. Well, not completely. Not as much as I once did. Seeing Mother the other day had been like applying ointment on an open wound. The wound was still raw, it still hurt, but the infection appeared to have stopped spreading.
Liane turned on me, her hands fisted on her hips. “It absolutely is your problem because it’s also mine. And I’m telling you this minute, that I won’t be put in the middle like that again. It was despicable that you couldn’t give her five minutes of your time. Do you remember the look on her face when she saw you? The devastation? You have no idea what she’s gone through and you… you…” She whirled and headed up the hill.
“Wait,” I called after her and tossed the picnic basket in the back bucket of the ATV. It roared to life and I chased after her. When I pulled beside her, I shut it off. “Come on, hop on.”
“No, I’m perfectly fine walking, thank you very much.” She had never sounded more British to me than she did in that moment.
“Liane, come on. Don’t be ridiculous.”
That was the wrong
thing to say, I quickly learned.
“Ridiculous? I’m being ridiculous?” Her eyes had hell’s fire behind them. “Let’s define ridiculous, shall we? Ridiculous is making assumptions about people’s feelings and thinking you know what they’re going through. Ridiculous is hiding out behind a gated fence when what you really want, deeply want, is to be included in a family. Ridiculous is—”
“Fighting on the side of a hill when we could be fighting in a climate controlled home.” I was careful to keep laughter from my tone even though she was truly adorable.
She growled at me. Growled! Then turned and headed up the hill again.
“Come on. Get on. I promise we’ll talk about it more when we get inside.”
I waited for her to come to her senses, to stop and get on. Nope. She was practically jogging up the damn hill. I exhaled, but didn’t start the ATV right away. Damn. Her ass looked fucking amazing.
“And stop staring at my butt,” she yelled back at me.
I turned on the ATV and gave it a shot of gas. I sped by her before doing a U-turn, coming around to face her. Turning off the machine, I said, “And that’s another thing we need to talk about. If I wanted all of my thoughts read, I’d send you an e-mail of each one. Some things are private, Liane. Private. Do you understand the meaning of that?”
She looked abashed for a moment, and her toe caught on a rock. She stumbled, but didn’t fall. “Are you accusing me of snooping into your thoughts?” Her hands were on her hips again.
“Yes. No. Shit, I don’t know.”
She narrowed her eyes and stalked right past me.
I sighed and turned on the four-wheeler, then turned back up the hill, coming up along beside her.
“I do not snoop on you,” she yelled over the noise of the engine. “I don’t need to. Nearly everything you feel shoots out at me like a bloody bullet.”
I turned off the engine, but she didn’t stop, just picked up speed. Turning it back on, I pulled in front of her and shut it off. I jumped off and marched up to her, not stopping until I’d tossed her over my shoulder.
