by Alice Ward
“Hey.” Lizzy touched my arm, cutting me off. “I know you want to know how it went. You’re talking a million miles an hour. It went great. He looks good. No, he looks great. I bet he’s put on thirty pounds of muscle. His eyes aren’t dull like they were when we had to let him go, but full of hope. He’s the man I met all those years ago when I married Mark. You’re going to need to put up your guard in full force. He’s going to tear your resolve down with nothing more than a few sexy looks.”
“Shit.” I pressed my hand to my chest as tears burned my eyes. “I’ve missed him so fucking bad. I can’t even express how hard it was to not go with you guys this morning. Did he… did he ask about me?”
“Yeah. He didn’t want to be too obvious about it, so I cut him off and saved him from it, but I told him that you were doing well.” She released me and nodded toward my desk. “Get your purse and we can talk about it more over lunch. I know one thing…”
“What’s that?” I turned and walked back toward my desk.
“He missed you like crazy too.”
“How do you know?” I grabbed my purse and moved out into the hall with Lizzy.
“I just know Zek, and I could see it all over him. He was thrilled to see me and Mark, but it was you he was hoping would show up.” She gave me a sideways ‘I told you so’ glance.
“He was pretty rough with me the last time we spoke, Lizzy. You know that.” I repositioned the strap of my purse on my shoulder and waited outside of her office door as she gathered her stuff.
“He did that to make sure you went on with your life, but you haven’t.”
“I can’t.” I reached up and brushed my tears away. There had to be some point in life when a person simply couldn’t cry another tear. I was praying it was soon for me. I had cried far too many.
“Exactly.” She moved up beside me and chuckled. “You need some closure. Go over there and see if there is anything left between you two.”
“You’re evil.” I pressed the button to the elevator and turned to see Dillon walking out with one of the interns we’d just hired. I almost reminded him that the girl was in fact an intern, but kept my thoughts to myself.
Lizzy glanced over her shoulder before turning to face them. “Make sure you’re back in time for the one o’clock presentation today.”
Her comment was directed at the intern as best I could tell.
“Oh, yes, ma’am.” The girl smiled sweetly, and I cringed internally.
After dealing with Melissa Mills, Zek’s crazy intern who falsely accused him of rape, I wasn’t too sure about the younger generation. Not that all young women were crazy, but it would seem that most of them certainly knew how to play the part — any part.
Lizzy turned back to me as we moved into the elevator and rolled her eyes, not speaking again until we got out and moved away from the crowd.
“I can’t go over there.” I pushed the door open to exit the building. The warm autumn breeze blew around us, stirring up the handful of leaves that had begun to fall.
“Yes, you can. You have to. He needs to see you, and you need to figure out if this thing between you guys is worth fighting for.”
“Lizzy.”
“No. I’m serious.” She stopped and turned to me as we stood on the sidewalk. “You and Zek could possibly have a love story like mine and Mark’s. I’m telling you now that if there is something that incredible waiting to be explored between you, then you have to push it. You have to. Everyone deserves a chance at the kind of love I have.”
“And you really think that kind of love exists for others? I’ve known this man my whole life, and I can tell you one thing for sure. Love isn’t the key to forever for Zek. I’ve loved him with this overbearing intensity for as long as I’ve known him, and Lizzy… it’s never been enough.”
“He’s a different man now.” She reached out and squeezed my shoulder softly. “Trust me. You go over there, and if things don’t feel the same, or even if they aren’t intensified, then leave and never look back. You’ve turned down more men than we’ve employed at Dellup this last year. You need to find out where you stand, and if there’s nothing left between you guys, then move on. You deserve a life, and that’s what Zek’s pushing you away and his willingness to let you go was all about.”
“I didn’t want to be let go.” Tears swam in my vision and I growled angrily. “I’m tired of crying and wishing that the days would just pass by quickly. I want to live my life to the fullest, but every time I try to define what that would look like, all I can see is him. It’s frustrating. I hate it.”
“Then you have your answer, Alisa. Stop dancing around the kindling with a match and pull out a fucking blow torch. If he’s your man, then go get him. Don’t take no for an answer. Got it?” She touched the side of my face and smiled. “Take what belongs to you, and don’t let it go. Ever.”
I nodded. She was right, and my fear would have to take a back seat. I’d find a way to see Zek that night. He had to know how I felt, and I would use any means necessary to open him up. I needed to know where I stood with him, and if he thought there was any chance at all for us. Even the slight margin for a relationship was more than enough. I just needed to find the one thing I’d lost.
Hope.
CHAPTER 3
Zek
I took a quick shower and got a hold of myself by the time Ronald showed back up with the pizza. After helping him get a few groceries into the house, I took the seat across from him at the table and grabbed a couple of slices.
“I think more than any fine dining food, I missed this the most.” I took a big bite and stifled a groan at how delicious the mixture of cheese and meats were.
“I know that’s right. I could eat pizza most days of the week, but I try not to. It’s hell trying to get a large deep dish off of you in the gym.” He chuckled and picked up his beer. “So let’s get the rules and all that stuff out of the way and we can move on to you getting back into as much of your life as you’re allowed to enjoy.”
“I’d like that.” I picked up a napkin and wiped my mouth before sitting back and nursing my beer. “First, tell me if I can have visitors and what the constraints are.”
“You’re not married or engaged from what I can see in the file. Do you have a girlfriend?” He took another large bite and watched me.
“No. I have a few friends and some close family I’d love to see on a regular basis, and of course my attorney will want to come by from time to time, but no lady love.” I sat the beer down and tried not to let my thoughts move onto Alisa. They always seemed to be primed to do just that.
“The lawyer is able to visit as he or she wishes, as long as it’s not excessive. They charge you every damn time they come anyway. You don’t need anything from them unless you have another trial pending or if settlement arrangements are being made.” He shrugged. “However, that’s up to you as far as legal counsel visits are concerned. There’s no one allowed over between eight p.m. and eight a.m.. That’s why I was asking about the girlfriend.”
I wanted to flinch, but I held it inside. The twelve hours the sun was down shouldn’t have been a big issue, but another year with no sex and I might actually go mad. Needing a woman in my life wasn’t just about wanting companionship, but about the desire to feel someone pressed against me. I’d always had a healthy sex life, and the last year had left me desperate to get that part back.
It didn’t seem like that would be a possibility, but some part of me knew that coming out of prison. Life wasn’t just going to start up the same way I left it. Time was going to play a huge factor in the steps I took. Each would have to be a building block, but needing sex would drive me to make that a priority.
I couldn’t imagine taking another woman to my bed, but the chances of Alisa being willing to let me near her seemed slim, and yet I was overreacting. I was good at that.
“So, I’m sure your legal counsel explained a little bit about house arrest before you went into prison, but let me re
iterate that you’re able to go out of the house for groceries, doctor visits, court appointments and a leisurely outing from time to time with my accompaniment. I’ll not be here all the time, but when I’m not, you’re restricted to the house.” He finished his pizza and got up, walking into the kitchen. “The anklet they require you to wear is tracked on my phone and down at the station should they need to find you. I’m the only one watching most of the time. It’s part of the job.”
I nodded and reached for the thin black bracelet he handed to me. “This just slip on and clip? Anything else I should know about it?”
“It will beep loudly if you’re out of range from where you should be. The house is good, the property is good, but anything around the property line that I haven’t cleared with the app will cause the warning sound, and then it will flash up at the police station and they’ll dispatch someone to come find you. You don’t want that. It’s a one-way ticket back to the pen. We’ll give you a few warnings, but then—”
“I’m good. Honestly.” I lifted my hand and offered him a smile. “I’m a CEO that made one shitty decision. I promise. I’m happy being in the house and out of jail. I’ll serve this year just like I’m supposed to. Nothing to worry about.”
He chuckled and dropped back down into his seat as I worked to get the anklet on.
“I’ve heard something similar to that more times than I can count. You think you’re fine until you start to go stir crazy. It’s usually worse with guys like yourself because you’re used to being busy and in the middle of some kind of chaos. Here at the house, it’ll be quiet and yet the world is just outside the door.”
“But unreachable.” I picked up my beer. “I’ll have to learn a new trade and start a new career. I’ll spend this next year reading up on something of interest and turn a buck on it when I’m done.”
“Smart man.” He ran his hand over his head. “If you somehow fall in love, and you need time with your girl… we’ll work things out. I’m here to make sure you stick to the rules, but some of them are a little more iffy than others.”
I nodded. “I appreciate that. I’m not sure a girl’s part of the plan, though I’d love for one to be.”
“Hard times with the ladies?” He smirked and nodded. “I know that situation far too well in my own life.”
“Hard time? Try no time. They don’t exactly let you take a date back to your cell where I was for the last twelve months.” I laughed and stood up to stretch. “Am I allowed to use my cell phone?”
“Yes. Your cell phone is yours. I don’t agree with limiting that unless I’m forced to. This isn’t about taking things from you, but constricting you to the house. You cannot conduct business, but can assist someone else who’s working. As long as you’re not turning a profit, then you’re good.”
“Awesome. I’m going to touch base with my old partner then and make sure his life is still going well. No business transactions, just need to check in.” I waited for him to nod, feeling a bit foolish, but wanting to set the ground floor for my relationship with Ronald from the on-start. I wasn’t interested in challenging the rules or beating the system at all.
“Have fun.”
I walked into the kitchen and grabbed my cell phone from a small pile of items that sat on the counter. It was charged somehow, and I couldn’t help but check to see if there was anything from Alisa, but of course there wasn’t. Wishful thinking on my part.
“Jeffery?” I spoke as soon as he picked up the phone.
“Zek? Is that you, man?” He laughed, and my heart constricted in my chest. He was far too good to me, and that he would even want to hear my voice was a miracle.
“Hey, man. I’m home, finally.” I let out a long sigh and leaned against the counter top. “How are you guys? Tell me everything I’ve missed.”
“Oh my God. It’s so damn good to hear from you. I knew it would be any day now, but I wasn’t sure when. I really should have visited you more, Zek. Forgive me.”
Was this guy asking for my forgiveness when I’d taken our careers and ruined them in tandem with my greed? Did mercy know no end?
“No need for apologies. It would be me offering them up if there were.” I took a quick breath. “What’s going on with the firm? Is it completely shut down now?”
“No. The SEC went through everything over the last eight months and deemed your situation to be a contained case. Most of our clients stayed with me, and the firm is doing well. We’re in the process of renaming it, but I’m sure you understand that.” He grew silent, and I felt like shit for the position I’d put him in.
“Of course. I’m just glad to hear that you resurrected my baby. She’s in good hands then.” I smiled and moved to stand in front of the sink, wanting to look out the small window that opened up to my backyard. “Your family doing okay?”
“Everyone’s fine, but let’s catch up on all that shit later. Tell me about the house arrest. Can I come see you, or no?”
“Yeah, but only during the day. I’ll have you come over when I get a little more acclimated back into my life. I just wanted to tell you that I’m home, and that you owe me nothing. I want to apologize again—”
“Zek.”
“I’m serious. You stood by me through all that shit. I should have told you the truth. But, dammit, to have you see me in a different light than the one I worked to have shine on me most of my life would have broken me. I’m sorry. I was wrong, and I want to make it up to you. One day, when I’m able, I will.”
“No. You’re a good man, and shit happens. I cheated on my wife about five years ago, and she gave me another chance, Zek. I know what it’s like to be in your shoes. It was one night. Hell, it was twenty minutes because I was so damn terrified the whole time that I couldn’t keep my shit hard.” He let out a shaky laugh. “What I’m trying to say is that we’re good. I’m ready for you to come back any time you want to. We’ve cleared the air with the investors, or at least most of them.”
“I can’t. I’ll never be able to trade again, or give investment advice. The SEC won’t allow my licenses to be renewed, but it’s okay. I’ll figure out something else I can do.” I shrugged, though I was the only one in the kitchen.
“Can you help advise me on a few things while you’re stuck in the house? Is that something we can do, or no?”
“Only if you don’t pay me. I can’t make a profit or hold an actual job while I’m under house arrest, but I can do some admin for you.” I turned as Ronald walked into the kitchen.
“I’d love that. I’ll come visit you soon with a whole handful of shit you’ll love. I swear, you and I complement each other in the things we thrive on and the things that suck our souls out.”
“That’s why we were great partners, Jeffery.”
“Not were… are. I’m not giving up on the idea that you’ll be back with me. Maybe you can’t do what you did before, but you and I both know that there are lots of other avenues for the firm to explore.” He cleared his throat. “I renamed it ZJ Investments.”
I laughed and pressed my hand to my mouth. “Our first initials?”
“Yeah. I thought it was crafty enough to throw a proverbial fuck you to fate for this shit.”
“I don’t think it’s fate that deserves the gesture, but it’s water under the bridge now.” I walked into the living room and dropped down on the couch. “Hey, man. I appreciate you sticking by me. Seriously.”
“You would have done the same for me. I know you would have.”
“True, but still.” I brushed my hand over my chest and let my thoughts fade to Alisa. I couldn’t help but wonder if the additional muscle I’d packed on would turn her on, or leave her cold. “I’ll talk to you soon, my friend.”
“Hang in there, and if you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to call.”
“I won’t, Jeff.” I dropped the call and tossed the phone onto the coffee table as Ronald walked into the room.
“Seems like a good relationship you have with your business
partner.” There was a bit of sympathy in his eyes, and where I once would’ve ignored it, I wasn’t the same man.
“Yeah. It was a great relationship. He’s a good man, and I’m more of an ass for putting him through hell above anyone else. No one suffered like Jeff did.” I ran my fingers over my head. “He’s forgiven me from what I can tell. He just wants to move forward, but I’m not capable of doing that just yet. Shit, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to move back into the life I left.”
“You won’t, but that’s just opportunity for growth. Creating something beautiful from the ashes is almost always better than trying to dust off the dilapidated pile of nothingness that created the soot. You’ll find your way. Hell, you’ve got plenty of time to figure it out, right?” Ronald smiled as he picked up the remote. “You good with me watching the news? I hate getting behind.”
“Yeah. I’m good with it.” I grabbed up my phone and flipped through the old texts from Alisa before pulling up her profile at Dellup and Brown. Just the sight of her made my body hard, my heart race, my skin tight. I might not be willing to reach out to her, but I had to say a prayer that she wasn’t going to be as pig-headed as me.
I got up and forced a yawn. It was only eight, but I wanted to spend some time taking care of myself in the comfort of my bed. I could let the image of my beautiful girl push me to the limit of orgasm over and over and still be needy for her. It was a hopeless situation, but those were the ones that had pushed me into greatness the first time my life turned into a success story. It seemed highly probable that it could happen again.
Funny how much my definition of success had changed.
CHAPTER 4
Alisa
I wasn’t sure about visitation hours with Zek, but I’d ask him later that night. As his attorney, I could show up just about any time I wanted, but I wasn’t going as legal counsel. I was going as a woman who wanted to feel the warmth of her man. The need to wait until night left me with a handful of hours with nothing to do.
I decided to drop by Clark’s house to see what everyone was up to instead of pacing the floor in my apartment. I’d have been a nervous wreck by the time I got to Zek otherwise.
