“He’s crazy about you, Syd. He talks about you whenever I see him. I think he’s really in love with you.”
“And I love him. I just can’t figure out how this would look for the long haul.”
“Maybe don’t think about it for now. That’s what I’m telling myself with Kevin. You don’t need all the answers immediately. See how it goes.”
“Do you want to come for Thanksgiving, by the way? You can bring Kevin of course,” she asked him.
“I’d like that. I don’t think he wants to go home. And I can’t go with him. His mom doesn’t want his siblings to know he’s gay. She thinks it’s contagious.” He smiled when he said it. He’d been there before, with other people’s parents and families who refused to face the truth. It made everything that much harder. He always said how understanding his own parents were about it.
“Sounds complicated,” she said, and Ed nodded. “My apartment is a mess,” she added as she looked around. She was enjoying chatting with him. “I’m starting to look like a hoarder. I have everything I need here and all my work supplies, but you can hardly move. I’ll use my design table for Thanksgiving dinner. I think I’m going to get a bigger apartment when I can get out. Nothing fancy, but a little more breathing room, especially with Bob here so much.” The business had taken off with a bang and was doing well, and her salary more than covered her meager expenses, but she constantly thought about wanting to pay Sabrina back for her legal fees before she did anything else. It was her first priority now.
“He has a fabulous apartment in Hong Kong, you’d love it,” Ed told her. “It’s kind of a bachelor pad, with a second apartment below for his kids when they’re around. I don’t think any of them live there now. The one who cooks and the artist have pretty simple tastes, and his daughter in medical school is in England, and his son the writer lives in a garret somewhere. None of them are showy people, but the place is fantastic.”
“What are the kids like?” They were having a good visit and letting their hair down about private matters, which was rare, and she’d wanted to ask him for a long time.
“They’re normal, kind, fun. I went to school with the oldest one, the chef. I think Bob got married pretty young the first time. He always seemed like a young dad when we were growing up. I thought mine were older because they’re my parents. His kids are just good people. He always encouraged them to pursue the work they wanted.” She could tell that from their varied professions, but she was worried about how they’d react to her. Andrew’s twins had set an ugly precedent, and scarred her. “You’ll like them,” he tried to reassure her, understanding why she was worried. “They’re not like your stepdaughters.” The stepmonsters, as Sophie and Sabrina called them.
“Hitler and Stalin were like the twins. I just don’t want to get into some big battle with any man’s family again. I don’t need the headache.” And she had paid a high price for Andrew putting her at their mercy.
“His kids are all very independent. And they’ve seen a lot of women come and go,” Ed said, smiling.
“I’m not sure that’s reassuring.” She laughed at his comment. Bob had said as much himself, and that this was entirely different, with her.
“He’s a serious person and a good father.” Andrew had been too, but his daughters had behaved atrociously, with their mother’s tutelage. “You’ll have to come back to Hong Kong to meet them,” he said.
“Well, for the moment, it’s not a pressing problem. He can just tell them I’m in jail until next spring.” She was developing a sense of humor about it, now that she knew nothing worse would happen. It was just a challenging time she had to get through. “What about you? Are you going to take Kevin to Hong Kong?”
“Maybe someday. Not now. That’s a big statement. I’m not there yet.” They were dating, not living together. “He met my parents during Fashion Week. That’s enough for the time being. But thank you for including him on Thanksgiving. I assume the girls are coming.”
“Of course.” Sydney had been wondering if Steve would invite Sabrina to go to Boston with him, to his family, but so far he hadn’t. “You’re the godfather of Sabrina’s romance too,” she reminded Ed, since he’d found Steve for Sydney when she needed a criminal lawyer. And he had introduced her to Bob. “You’re pretty good at this.”
“Except for myself,” he chuckled. “I just hit on our interns.” But she knew from him and an earlier admission that this was a first for him. He had been diligent about not dating anyone where he worked, and never someone who worked directly for him. Until Kevin. It was too awkward if the relationship went wrong.
“What are you doing this weekend?” she asked him.
“We’re going to stay with friends in Connecticut, to see the changing of the leaves. They got married last year, and just adopted a baby. I’m not sure that’s the model I want to show Kevin. It’ll probably cure both of us from domestic life by the end of the weekend.” Ed always said he wasn’t looking to get married, and might want children one day but not for a long time. And she knew it was the first serious relationship he’d had since the lover who’d committed suicide years before. He’d been careful not to get too deeply involved ever since. But Kevin, with his innocence and natural sweetness, had made it through his wall of barbed wire.
“It sounds like fun,” Sydney said wistfully about his weekend. “I think I’m going to pitch a tent in Central Park after all this. I never realized how much I’d miss being outdoors, or walking down the street.”
“It’s not forever,” he reminded her gently.
“I know, and I’m grateful to be here and not the alternative.” She had thought of putting up a chart with the numbers of days for six months, and then decided it would be depressing and make the time go slower, while she waited every day to cross off one more day. A month had gone by already. All she had to do was get through another five. “Well, have a good weekend,” she said as they wound up the call. It was getting late, and Ed had to get home and pack for the weekend.
“Say hi to Bob,” Ed said, and as he did, she heard his key in the lock, and he came through the door, carrying packages. He had picked up groceries on the way home, so they could cook dinner, instead of ordering in, which they did a lot, from restaurants all over town when he was there. By now, she had a long list of favorite food and meal delivery services she used constantly.
“Hi, Ed!” Bob said, and waved at the screen. “How’s everything?”
“Great. Lots of orders. How long will you be in town?”
“About a week if I can swing it. Five days otherwise. Do you want to come over for dinner?” he asked as Sydney kissed him and he smiled.
“I’d love to, but I’m going away for the weekend. Maybe Monday if you’re still here.”
“I will be. Have a good weekend.” All three of them waved and said goodbye then, as Bob took off his coat and Sydney unpacked the groceries. She loved seeing him at the end of the day, and cuddling up with him at night to talk, and relax, and drink wine. It was a wonderful contrast to the long nights she worked into the wee hours when she was alone. She was sleeping less now and working even longer hours, since she couldn’t go out. Instead of lazy, being trapped at home was making her work harder.
“How was your day?” she asked, as she poured him a glass of red wine and handed it to him.
“Good,” he said, smiling at her gratefully. “Except for a call from my oldest daughter, Francesca. She quit her job without telling me, sank herself in debt up to her ears, also without asking her father, and she’s opening her own restaurant. She had a great job, at the best restaurant in Hong Kong, with three Michelin stars. Now she wants to open a bistro, which won’t show off her talents and is almost a sure way to lose money. I think her boyfriend talked her into it.” He looked worried and frustrated, as he glanced up at Sydney. “Usually they ask my advice, but in the end, they always do what they want anyway.”
“Maybe we did too at their age. My parents hated my first husband
. They thought he was lazy and a user and they were right. And they had both died by the time I married Andrew, so they never saw me get it right.” But they would have been upset by the last year too, when she lost everything and was confined to her apartment with an electronic bracelet around her ankle from the court. “I guess we’re never too old to screw up,” she said with a sigh and a rueful smile.
“Your only crime was being naïve,” he reminded her. “Paul Zeller knew what he was doing. He probably spotted you for an easy mark when he hired you, and had a plan in mind then, and you were convenient for him,” he said wisely. He was a good judge of human nature, better than she was. He was more businesslike and less trusting.
“I was so grateful for the job, when the employment agencies told me no one would hire me after being out of the game for so long. And Paul was so kind to me on the plane.”
“Bad guys are almost always nice, too nice, otherwise how would they get away with it?” he said sensibly, and she nodded.
“What are you going to do about your daughter?” she asked him. She could see that it was troubling him.
“Try and talk her out of it, but she’ll do what she wants. I don’t like the boyfriend, and she knows it. He’s another lazy charmer. She works so much, she never meets anyone, and she’s easy prey for guys like him. He’s a part-time bartender. The rest of the time he does nothing and sponges off her. The only guys she meets are the ones who work in her kitchen,” he said unhappily, and then he smiled at her. “I guess that’s what I did too. I fell in love with the wrong woman. My first wife, Helen, was brilliant and I was enamored with her mind. I never asked myself if she’d be a good wife or a good mother. And I don’t think she did either. I wanted a lot of kids, and she went along with it. Five years later she figured out that she hated being married and had no maternal instincts, so she took off. The only one who was surprised was me. And I married my second wife, Brigid, because she had a great body, and I felt like a star when I was with her. She figured that one out in six months, while I was still buying her jewelry and bikinis.” He was able to laugh at himself, but he hadn’t then. He had been shocked, humiliated, and brokenhearted, and readily admitted it now, and already had to Sydney. “The two women couldn’t have been more different. Helen and I are good friends these days. I don’t even know where Brigid is, she seems to have faded from the skies. Someone told me she’s in India making cheap movies, which is probably likely. But the two women were opposite extremes.”
“So were Patrick and Andrew. Patrick was totally irresponsible, and Andrew was the most responsible man I’d ever met,” until his oversight at the end. Bob thought that if he’d been truly responsible, she wouldn’t have been living in an apartment the size of a birdcage for a canary, barely able to scrape by, and he knew she was well aware of it herself, so he didn’t want to add to it and criticize her late husband.
“I’m going to talk to Francesca when I get home. At least if she lets me lend her the money, she won’t wind up drowning in debt. But she’s very independent. She doesn’t want anything from me. She shouldn’t have quit her job.”
“I was afraid when Sabrina wouldn’t go back to her old job after they fired her because of me. I thought they’d paralyze her with a noncompete if she quit. And it turned out even better in the end. I’m sure Francesca will land on her feet too, if she’s anything like her father.” She smiled at him.
“I had no idea I’d worry about them this much at their ages. It was so much easier when they were younger.” Although his son, Dorian, had gotten into drugs for a year in college and gone to rehab, but he hadn’t had a problem since. He had told Sydney about that too. “It takes courage to have kids. I love my kids, but I wouldn’t have the guts to do it again, or have more. I worry now that I’m doing it all wrong and giving them bad advice based on my own mistakes and my own fears. Every time my son goes out with some hot babe, I think of Brigid and tell him to run. He pointed out recently that I only approve of his going out with unattractive women and if he found one with a mustache who was butt ugly, I’d be thrilled.” He chuckled then as he looked at Sydney. “I thought about it, and he’s right. You’re the only beautiful woman who doesn’t scare me.” She knew from Ed that he’d had a lot of beautiful women in his life since Brigid but had never taken any of them seriously. He was considered something of a man-about-town and a catch in Hong Kong.
“You have nothing to fear from me,” she reassured him and kissed him, “except my bad cooking. The only meals I know how to make are turkey on Christmas and Thanksgiving, and tacos,” she admitted, and he laughed.
“Sounds good to me. And I have a solution for that,” he said, as he set down his glass of wine. “I’m cooking dinner.”
“You don’t trust me,” she said, pretending to be insulted. She wasn’t known for her culinary skill, and had already demonstrated it to him on several occasions.
“In the kitchen, not really. You’re the only person I’ve ever met who can burn pasta,” he teased her, and she chuckled.
“You may have a point, but wait till you eat my turkey,” she conceded, and they cooked dinner together. He made them excellent steaks, and she made the salad, which was all she ever ate anyway. She was thin because she wasn’t a big eater and watched her weight, as did her daughters. Fashion was a harsh mistress, and the people who worked in it cruel judges. Designers were expected to be as thin as the models, and most of them were. Ed was too. Bob hadn’t seen a normal-sized person in the business since he’d started dating her, and his daughter in Shanghai, the artist, was no better. The chef and the medical student had more normal eating habits. But Bob was lean too, very athletic, and stayed trim. He claimed it was because he didn’t like airline food and spent most of his life on planes, but she knew he worked out with a trainer in Hong Kong, and swam at his club whenever he could, or when he stayed at a hotel with a pool.
Sydney was working out a lot now. The ballet teacher she met with on Skype that Sophie had recommended was proving to be a hard taskmaster. She had several models as clients, and women who traveled a lot and couldn’t attend class in person. She had a booming business with individual sessions on Skype, and Sydney could already see changes in her thin body. It made her feel healthy to do something while she was confined to the apartment and couldn’t even go for a walk. And running in place was too boring.
She and Bob watched a movie that night and went to bed early. He went for a run the next morning when he got up, and came back with a bag of croissants and brioches filled with chocolate.
“That’s not fair!” she complained. She had just gotten out of the shower and was drying her hair, wearing pink jeans and a pink sweater, and looked like a breath of spring despite the wintry weather outside. “You go for a run, and I sit here getting fat and you tempt me with croissants? You must like chubby women,” she accused him, but ate one of the chocolate buns while she did, and he laughed. He was a good sport about being stuck in the apartment with her. When she wasn’t working, they played Scrabble and cards, and liar’s dice, and she was ecstatic when she beat him. And sometimes they just lay around and read. He always bought her a stack of books when he was in town, or she ordered the latest bestsellers on the Internet while he was traveling. They were adjusting well to their confined life, and he insisted he didn’t mind. With Sydney, everything was fun. And when he wasn’t around, she was working.
Ed came to dinner on Monday, as he had promised, without Kevin, since he had a late class and a midterm the next day. Sydney showed him some new drawings she’d worked on, and Ed made some suggestions, which she liked. They always enhanced each other’s work, tossing ideas back and forth. And he’d had good news that day. A chain of stores in Asia had placed an enormous order.
“You should open a store in Hong Kong,” Bob suggested during dinner. They were balancing plates of Mexican food on their knees because she had work spread out on the design table. Sydney had made tacos, and Bob conceded they were excellent.
&
nbsp; “I’ve thought of it,” Ed said seriously. “I’m not sure if we should open one here first. A lot of big designers are setting up flagships in Beijing, but if we do something in Asia, I’d rather do Hong Kong,” he said thoughtfully. He and Sydney had talked about it, but agreed they weren’t ready. For the moment they were doing well with department store sales in the States, without taking on the overhead and build-out costs of a retail store of their own in New York, although it was among their midterm plans, just not yet.
“Well, I think Hong Kong would be a great idea,” Bob said, smiling at them both. “Though I’ll admit, I’m not without ulterior motives.” He was trying to find a way to get Sydney to Hong Kong on a regular basis once she was free, other than just to see him. He knew that her work ruled her life, and he’d never get her there without it, or not often. But they had time to figure it out, and for the next five months it was a moot point.
Ed stayed late that night, enjoying long conversations with them over dinner, and called to thank her the next morning.
“You two are so good together,” he commented.
“We are,” she agreed. “Maybe because we’re not together all the time. It keeps the romance fresh.”
“I worry about that with Kevin. He wants to move in, but maybe we’d get bored with each other. It’s too soon anyway.”
“How was the weekend, by the way?” She had forgotten to ask the night before.
“Oh my God, they’re completely hysterical. I think they take the poor kid to the emergency room every day to make sure he’s still breathing. They have monitors with video screens all over the house. I was a nervous wreck by the time we left. They thought he had a fever and called the doctor three times on Sunday. I think they just had too many cashmere sweaters and blankets on him. I am definitely not ready for that.” She laughed, the idea of two gay men fussing frantically over a baby was sweet, but sounded intense, as most new parents were. She wondered sometimes when Sabrina and Sophie would want children, or if they ever would. They were so consumed by their work, there was no room for a baby in either of their lives. She didn’t think the thought had even crossed their minds, and she didn’t feel ready to be a grandmother yet either, at fifty. When Kellie had had children, she had hoped it would soften her and improve her relationship with her, but it hadn’t. If anything, she was nastier, except with her father, and wouldn’t let Sydney near her kids. Nothing had changed.
Fall from Grace Page 21
