by Marlon James
Lilith say out loud that she hope they catch him ’cause she don’t understand why anybody would want to run away from people as nice as the mistress. But as soon as she go down to the cellar, she be a different story. Truth be told, only Tantalus ever pay her any mind. He used to show her him most precious thing, a page tear out from a white girl storybook with picture and word. The page had a girl who mayhaps be a queen or princess sleeping in a big bed and a white boy standing over her who mayhaps be a king or prince or duke or any hoity-toity white man. The white boy look at the white girl like she be the beautifullest, preciousest thing. Almost every night, Tantalus would take out the picture and make up a fresh story about it, a new one every night. And when Lilith finally thief the picture so that she can make up story in the daytime, Tantalus never say nothing. Lilith tell herself these days that word is wind that passeth by, and he get what he deserve. That mad nigger was not her father. Not at all. Jack Wilkins be her daddy now.
—Ah goin’ ask Massa Wilkins if you talking true, Lilith say couple morning later in the kitchen when only she and Homer up.
—Suit yourself. If you feel you must ask the sky why she blue, me not goin’ stop you.
—Talk straight, woman.
—You seem to be thinking lately that me and you is same size. You don’t think it uncanny that in slave life you be the only nigger who live in house with mama and papa? Even man and woman who soft for each other can’t live together, for they know how things go.
—How you mean?
—Look beyond you mirror, chile. This be Montpelier. It no matter who you be, nigger is nigger and any day you could get whip, kill or sell. Just like that. Only thing sure in nigger life is that nothing sure. Nothing but you. Which other pickney you know did have mama and papa in they house? When you ever see Circe or Tantalus work?
—Why that be?
—Now you be the one who want to chat with you papa? Go ask him.
Massa Humphrey did bring him hunting ways to Jamaica but couldn’t find nothing smelling of that mad nigger since Circe did done burn all of him clothes and him was naked most of the time. The hounds runs all over the estate and attack anybody who stink with cane work—plenty nigger and even a driver who say he couldn’t remember when last he take a bath. Robert Quinn say Tantalus be an old worthless nigger so let him go, but Massa Humphrey say an example must be made in Montpelier. He go to send for the militia but nobody need militia when you got the Maroons.
Every nigger done know of the Maroons. Before they sign treaty with the king to end all the warring ’gainst white man, they was the greatest scourge backra ever face. The first Maroons was slaves let loose by the Spanish back when the British invade and take the island over. Them niggers run all the way up into the mountains and deep in the bush and no white man could reach them, but they could reach any backra they choose. Word was that they was four Maroon town in the colony, including one run by a niggerwoman ugly as Ol’ Hige herself. At night they raid any estate, even Montpelier back in them early days before Homer born. They take pig, goat, corn and woman, but many womens leave by they own free will and plenty mens too. Soon it be the wisdom that any nigger who want to be free should wait for the night and set for the hills.
White man couldn’t beat no Maroon. They fight and they war but Maroon could become ground, air or bush if he wish. Green as leaf or black like midnight. One hundred militia go into the hills, less than thirty was coming back. The Maroon trick be to get the infantry to pass through a passage so narrow that they can only go one by one. Then they pick them off. Who know why then in 1738, Cudjoe, the big leader, who did really small and hunchback, sign treaty with the king. Word was that some Maroon village was starving after white man burn down they provision grounds but nobody know for sure. What every nigger done know was that after the treaty, the Maroon, the slave sworn friend, become him sworn enemy. The backra pay two pounds for every captured nigger but most time Maroon done hunt and send back niggers even for free. A nigger who choose to run ’way to freedom now face a new enemy who breathe like he breathe and look like he look. One slave who run from Montpelier back in the days of Jack Wilkins talk ’bout how they fly through the bush and crawl ’pon the ground and lock him neck in chains before he make it to the river. They talk like they still in the Africa, like nigger who come from ship, and they knock him out when he beg and plead and bawl for them to not send him back. Maroon even side with whitey when estate explode in rebellion, taking they guns to catch and shoot nigger.
Tantalus get as far as the coconut fields seven mile from Montpelier when three Maroon catch him. Everybody in fear and trembling at the sight of them three strapping nigger from the bush, two with gun, one with machete, as they drag Tantalus with a rope tie round him hands and neck. One Maroon with hair down him shoulder was wearing breeches, the other pantaloon that tear off at the knee and the third one didn’t wear no clothes at all. He have machete in one hand and spear in the other. Is like the whole estate stop when them Maroons come back with Tantalus and wouldn’t leave until a slave-driver tell Quinn that they waiting for they two pounds. Quinn cuss when he see the other two hold out they hands for two pounds each.
Tantalus old and at first we think they was goin’ show mercy. Three Johnny-jumper tie up Tantalus good and Tantalus start whimper and ask for Jesus to intervene. Everybody expecting Robert Quinn to come with a new whip, but the whole estate shudder when they see he come with an axe. Robert Quinn wave he hand and the niggers pull out Tantalus right foot and use plaster to draw a white line across all the toe. Two hold Tantalus foot while he scream and fight and one grip the axe with two hand and swing.
Homer see Lilith in the kitchen. She say, Worse thing him could ever do was run away. Better he kill another nigger than run away. You feel sorry for the man who raise you?
—No, me don’t feel sorry, and he weren’t no man, Lilith say.
But then something mighty peculiar happen.
As soon as they chop off Tantalus’ toe him madness leave. He still huff and puff and bawl in a fever, but people understand him this time and some chuckle while others tremble at what he say. But the mistress’ madness come back. Or maybe it was just old womanness, people start to reckon. Nobody live too long in the colonies and mayhaps that was not a bad thing. But nobody know what to do because is twelve weeks to the ball and the mistress take to talking to her husband in her bedroom. Mark this word: When the mistress head take her, she be something else. Most of the niggers in spite of the madness come to like that something else. When she mad she don’t have no sense but she also don’t have no care and do what she want. She do her business in a bonnet that a man she didn’t like give to her. And her mouth! When she mad she say what her unthinking mind think and plenty time it funny, like negro love.
—Why would I ever be caught dead at Coulibre with Mr. Roget and that slattern second wife of his? She’s a Frenchwoman in every base sense of the word, the mistress say one day when she get another invitation to a ball.—I swear the cur carries ahead and behind her a fishy fetor! The mistress say this about the father priest who come pray for her—Pray for your own damn soul, you eunuch! Face’s fatter than a pig’s arse.
Other times, the mistress say that good-for-nothing son of hers better get married soon or even she is goin’ to start pronouncing him a sodomite. White woman madness sound like black woman sense and the house slaves find her more agreeable to live with, even though the trouble was more than a handful. But the ball was goin’ to hell and Massa Humphrey huff and puff ’cause he didn’t want to take part in arranging nothing.
—And what in blazes are we supposed to do? Massa Humphrey say in the kitchen, couple days after the mistress’ head take her again. Is morning and he in the kitchen talking to Homer while Robert Quinn drinking tea. Homer dismiss the other negroes for a spell, for she don’t want nobody hearing white people affairs. But Lilith, who was down in the cellar, didn’t get the warning. She climb up the steps but stop when she hear a voice that
she never hear up close. Massa Humphrey. She see him plenty time from far but never look at him before. She look at him hair blaze. She lick her bottom lip until it soft, and touch her hair. Lilith look at him as he pace from one end of the kitchen to the next and she rip the breeches off him legs and watch him pacing again. Lilith regarding the massa like she never regard a man before. She don’t know what be the different, if he suddenly get new looks or she suddenly get new eye. She looking at a man who might be a prince or a king, not just a massa. She watch him turn again and stomp up the kitchen like bull. She listen how he voice rise and fall and laugh at Robert Quinn and cuss at Homer. She watch him and try to match them words with them pink lips.
There be two things that a white man can do at once. A white man can save her from the Johnny-jumpers and put her above other negrowomens. A white man like Massa Humphrey can also take her and hold her with the gentle hand that niggerman don’t got and bury him head in her bosom and make him man sound and it wouldn’t be like what she hear coming from Circe hut. Whatever Circe do for tuppence she would be doing something as different as dawn be from dusk. A white man can be a prince or a lord, and whether in the bed or by the pen can free a niggerwoman. This she know because she be a woman now. But there be what she don’t know and would never say, why she need him to look at her but feel to run when he do, why she need him to say something but not to her, and why when Robert Quinn interrupting him, that bastard don’t know him place. Why when breeze blow through him hair she feel hot and why when he smile at a good working nigger she feel hate for that one so bad she could scratch her eyes out. She don’t understand why big woman sense also mix with folly and can’t ask Homer. She watch the massa shiny boots and him breeches and the green waistcoat with flower trim. After that Lilith make every effort to see him, and that was not difficult.
Lilith catch glimpse of Massa Humphrey in the evening as he ride out to see the sunset. Sometimes he and Robert Quinn would come home at dawn, before even Homer wake up, and both mens reeking of rum and whiskey and tobacco and man-stink. Lilith would run between the two as they ignore her and put a kettle on the stove and make tea.
—Toss it all, my memory is as bad as my mum’s, lately. Have I fucked this one? Massa Humphrey say one morning.
—Nay, I can’t say ye have, Quinn say, and both think it so funny that they laugh till they cough. Massa Humphrey push back the chair and lose him balance and fall back to a crash on the floor and both mens laugh even harder. But that same day he back to him surly self, cussing Homer over the ball plans and wondering why he making a nigger plan his ball and not even once looking in Lilith direction. She bite her bottom lip and swing her hip and walk but when Lilith look up he not looking. That make her want to cease but it also make her want to go on. If only she could say something un-niggerlike. Uncommon. Like a lady of good breeding and learning. A woman who have quality that a dirty hussy like Circe never have. Something Homer would know if her bosom was of any use to a man.
Lilith tell herself that she not no foolish nigger. She know what being the massa favourite mean in real speak. She know that a nigger who not uncommon should think and plot. But she also see him hair blaze afire and she remember a white boy on a page tear from a book and everything come together and make her mind burn. Lilith hoping every day that just once he recognise her as the slave who make him tea whichever morning he come in from carousing. One afternoon Massa Humphrey make a trip to the kitchen huffing and puffing. Everything stop. Right behind him was Robert Quinn eating a banana.
—Goddamn if I won’t see some British decency in this house, even if it’s only tea at four, Massa Humphrey say.
—Then I’s best be about fixing it, massa, Homer say.
—No, let her do it. The girl in the cellar. Her teas are particularly robust, if I remember. Not so, Quinn?
—Robust indeed, Robert Quinn say.
Lilith didn’t look at the face she know Homer giving her.
8
The NEXT MORNING, LILITH WAS In The CELLAR BRUSHING cobweb from a silver tray. The kitchen still dark as if no sun was coming. She look at herself and know that she never come ’cross no other woman with her colour eye save for Gorgon and Hippolyta, and they both ugly. She start to believe that Jack Wilkins really be her daddy and the road set before her was going to wind a different way than most nigger. That make her walk straighter. Three time she ask Homer ’bout her real mother and three time Homer go quiet. She wonder if her mother be like her, but without the green eye, of course. She wonder if she was short or tall or fat, or if she get kilt ’cause her spirit wouldn’t dim like lamp. All she learn from Homer is that her mama dead the same time she born and that make Lilith feel bad. Mayhaps she was Jack Wilkins’ chère amie and he did hold her soft while she dead.
Lilith have more question inside her heart, a dozen question all beginning with why, that she don’t ask nobody. Plus she too ’fraid to ask Jack Wilkins and word was that him mind not be the same since he lose the overseer work. The only other soul who might know a thing or two be Tantalus the mad nigger, who was part of this arrangement too. She try to arrange her thinking. Jack Wilkins fuck her mother, her mother get heavy with niggerkin and dead giving birth. Jack Wilkins pass the baby on to Circe for mothering and put her to live with Tantalus for fathering. That don’t make no sense and Lilith cuss. From down in the cellar Lilith hear something smash from upstairs, most likely the mistress’ room. She smashing her Wedgwood china again. Mayhaps old age drive everybody mad at Montpelier. Mayhaps madness be the only thing that afflict white man and nigger alike.
—Lilith, potato waiting on you, Homer shout from the kitchen.
—Hoity-toity nigger deh ’pon the evening shift, say Andromeda. Lilith don’t have nothing to say. Even Homer did turn around, waiting for Lilith smart mouth. But Lilith go over to her corner and sit down and peel potato with her back to everybody. That be near enough to throw the kitchen into ’ruption. Lilith smart mouth for all her rudeness did now become part of the house nigger morning rhythm and slave need a rhythm to carry through the day.
—Jesus Christ, is who break wind in here? Pallas say and look straight at Chiron.
—Me can’t even break egg, he say.
—Smell like you just crack a rotten one with you arse, Pallas say and everybody laugh except Lilith. The laughing bring back the morning and lock Lilith out.
Lilith spirited from the day she first play with the other pickneys and call herself princess. This was Tantalus’ fault for he used to show her the page from the backra storybook whenever she behave like a good little girl. She didn’t know her head was high until other womens say so. But now her head hang low and the only thing that lift her up is the early, early morning when owl going home and nobody awake. That be the time she up and waiting for two riders to come back to Montpelier. And when Massa Humphrey ride up to the kitchen and fling himself into a chair and he and Robert Quinn ask for tea she ready already. She like even more when Robert Quinn not with him and he make conversation with her, even if that be about the damn sun that rise too fast or why Don Juan is lost on a whore and other things that she can only say yes massa to and wish she didn’t have a slow nigger mind. When he laugh, she giggle like an agreeable girl even if she don’t know what she laughing for. Lilith want him to take her up in the house and out of common negro life. Lilith hear about massas and they chère amie and she know she prettier than any other negro in the field or in the house. But she wish there was a nigger to teach her woman things.
Lilith peeling potato and pondering in a way that negro girl not supposed to ponder. She set her sight for the mistress at first but then her behaviour get uncanny and she call Lilith a big piece of black poo. But when the massa drunk and sprawl out and laughing to himself in the kitchen, Lilith start to see him in a new way. Just a drop more sugar, darling, is all he need to say and she carry that one last word for the whole morning, never mind that he call her a backward nigger cunt when she take too long and the tea too hot
.
Lilith watch him from the kitchen window as he rein him black horse (white horse on a Sunday) and get dirt on him breeches when he lie down under the tree to the side of the conservatory, talking white people affairs with Robert Quinn. Lilith watch him taking him shirt off all the time. Him chest rise and fall when he laugh and him nipples surround by delicious pink the way a nigger own surround by nasty black. Lilith see him smile and think nothing evil could come out of that mouth. Lilith don’t see that while he and Robert Quinn talking they have a negro whipping a slave girl hard for thieving out sugar to sell in Sunday market. The girl gagged so that she wouldn’t disturb nobody with her screaming. Lilith see the road that goin’ take her out of hard life but not sure what to do. Circe in the past would read her face and slap that stray thinking out but that woman dead. Lilith close her eye, shutting out the cellar darkness for her own and breathe in deep and try to remember what Massa Humphrey smell like. Then a quick thought run past her head. It run again and again until her heart beat fast and her temple kicking her ears. A nigger smart enough to know that any yes must be follow quick with a no. But this morning no gone on trip and not coming back. She thinking crazy-like and the crazy run through her. She wait for when Homer not looking and dash off to the hallway. Three doors down on the left be the linen closet.
The New Year’s Eve ball was coming in ten weeks. Lilith not suppose to be upstairs but she grab bed linen from the closet. Lilith make it all the way upstairs to where the massa bedroom be, only to hear the dogs outside barking like they never bark before. Lilith keep on she gait and see a room door open and look in just as Massa Humphrey jump out of bed and dash to the window. Him body lean and dark on the limbs but white like porcelain in the chest, waist and hips. He turn and grab for him breeches and him penis swing and swing like it want to go back to the window. Massa member swing low like it hanging from a red tree that burst into flame like the red hair on him head. He pull the breeches over him bare arse.
