I’m disturbed by her choice of words, almost afraid to learn what she’s referring to. “What do you mean weird?”
“Well, that same day we talked to you, David came by the house, and his agent was with him.”
“Agent? You mean for his book?”
She nods. “Did he tell you it came out a couple weeks ago?”
“No, he never said anything.” This really takes me by surprise. Why would he not have mentioned that to me?
“So, yeah, anyway, it came out, and I guess it’s doing really well. Apparently, his publishing house knows what it’s doing, because he already had all these glowing editorial reviews on Amazon right when it came out.”
“Wow, that’s fantastic!” What an accomplishment. I smile to myself, so pleased that his debut is a success. “I still can’t believe he never said anything.”
“I know. I didn’t know anything about it, either, until that night he came over.”
“Okay, so he brought his agent with him. And...”
Carly nibbles on her bottom lip before she continues. “He’d been drinking.”
I look up and sigh. “Of course.”
“He and his agent had been out celebrating, and David said he wanted to bring, I can’t remember his name, I think it was Trevor, by to meet his daughter.”
I jerk my head back. “What?”
“Yeah.” Carly sits up now. “He made up this big story about how I was his daughter and how proud he was of me, that you and he had been married, but were still close friends...”
He was describing me and Luke. I draw my lips inward as I try to make sense of this whole scenario, and Carly shares my troubled reaction.
“It was bad, Mom, because I’m sure his agent could see from the confused look on my face that David was making it all up. It was so awkward!”
I get up from the bed and lift my palms. “What am I gonna do with him? This isn’t good, is it?”
Carly just gives me a sympathetic stare, but one that tells me she has no idea what to think.
“The poor guy needs therapy or something,” I say. “Why is he suddenly going so off the deep end? You’d think the success of his book would have made things better for him. He got what he worked for.”
She shrugs. “I don’t know.”
“You haven’t heard from him since?”
“No.”
“Please tell me he’s at least got his own place now, that he’s not living out of a hotel.”
“He said he’s got an apartment a couple miles from us.”
I am truly concerned about him and plagued with guilt. Though it was his decision to split, the death of his dad, combined with his inability to deal with the loss of the family he had with me and the kids, makes it impossible for me to move forward without looking back. If it weren’t for Kiran, I would take back my decision to break all ties with David, but how can I do that now? I won’t do that to Kiran.
I have to talk to David. He’s lost, and if anything ever happened to him, I’d never forgive myself if he believed I no longer gave a shit.
Twenty-Nine
The following afternoon I get off work, and drive to David’s apartment. I texted him for his new address, saying that we need to talk. He was pretty hesitant about me coming to his place, trying to steer me toward meeting somewhere else, which heightened my curiosity. Why doesn’t he want me to see his apartment?
David opens his front door. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He doesn’t look so great. Dark circles are under his eyes, and he’s lost a little weight. He’s let his beard grow in some, which is speckled with grey. We exchange a clumsy embrace, and he invites me in.
It’s actually a nice apartment, with a fair-sized living room, a charming kitchen with an arch over the breakfast bar, and a patio off the front room, but it’s a mess. Unpacked boxes litter the floor, and dirty dishes are stacked in the sink.
“See why I wanted to meet somewhere?” he asks with an embarrassed smile, motioning me toward the living room.
“It takes a while to settle in. It’s a nice place.”
“You want something to drink?”
I take a seat on the sofa. “I’m good, thanks. Carly told me about your book and how well it’s doing. That’s incredible! Why didn’t you say anything?”
Sitting down in the chair next to me, he shakes his head and shrugs. “I don’t know.”
His profound sadness is tangible, and I almost wish I hadn’t come. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks.”
“Are you working on something new?”
He leans on his knees and laces his fingers. “Not yet.”
“I’m sure you’re pretty busy promoting right now, huh?”
“Anna...”
I lean my head back on the sofa and look at the ceiling. I know whatever he’s about to say is just going to make me feel worse.
“I wanna tell you I’m sorry about everything. How I neglected our relationship, the drinking, not trying to work things out. Everything.”
Still looking up, I answer. “It doesn’t matter now. The important thing is you got what you’ve been working so hard for.” I meet his eyes. “Doesn’t that make you happy? That it wasn’t for nothing? It’s been your dream.”
In the same position, he lowers his head and stares at the floor. “I miss you. I thought it was what I wanted, but I can’t enjoy it because I don’t have you to share it with. And now it’s too late... You’re with him.”
Agh! Insert knife, twist in heart. So help me, if he makes me cry...
“Does he know you’re here?”
“Why?”
“Does he know?”
“Yeah. He knows.” I told Kiran everything. I wasn’t going to risk him thinking I was doing something behind his back.
David nods and looks away. “You don’t want him thinking you still love me.”
“I do still love you. I’ll always love you.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
I see no point in continuing this line of conversation. “Carly told me about the night you stopped by. How you told your agent she was your daughter. That I was your ex-wife.”
He laughs uncomfortably and gets up from his seat. “That was all in fun.” He walks to the kitchen, and through the bar I see him take a dirty glass from the sink, rinse it out, then drink some water.
I walk over to the bar and rest my elbows on it. “Can I tell you something?”
He leans against the counter, facing me. “What?”
“I truly believe this isn’t about me at all.”
He shakes his head. “How can you say that? Of course it’s about you!”
“Are you still drinking?”
After placing the glass in the sink, he heads back to the living room. “Oh, and here we go with the drinking again. You know what? I’ve been kinda depressed. Maybe it has something to do with my dad dying, and the woman I love shacking up with another guy!”
“Stop! Just stop!”
He freezes near the sofa, apparently surprised by my reaction.
“I’m tired of tiptoeing around you. You know what your problem is? You’re one of those people who will never be happy, because you don’t know how to let yourself be happy. You hid it well, but you were unhappy when we met, and I’m pretty sure you were never really happy while we together. Maybe in the beginning...”
His chest heaves as I continue. “Now that you’ve got what you’ve dreamed about, you can’t even enjoy it. For crying out loud, can’t you just be happy for once?”
He blinks at me, like I’m speaking a foreign language.
“David, our time together is over. Let’s just appreciate what we had. I do.” I walk over to him and playfully pull on his shirt. “Sweetie, as much as I wish we could stay in each other’s lives, it’s not gonna work. And you’ve been hurting for a while. You need to talk to someone. A professional.”
The pain in his eyes shreds me to pieces. Part of me wishes that I never met Kiran, tha
t I was still in love with David, and I could tell him we’d try again.
He backs away and rubs his mouth. “I’m glad you’re happy, Anna. But honestly, I don’t see it working out with him.”
I know he wants me to ask him why, but I won’t do it. “You may be right.” I head for the door. Putting my hand on the knob, I turn around. “If you want me to help you find a good therapist, I will. I still care about you, and I just want you to be happy. Bye, David.”
And with that, I walk out the door.
Thirty
Several days later, I’m on Amazon, checking David’s book. I’ve been keeping an eye on it, and it’s still in the top one hundred, now listed at thirty-two in the Kindle Store, number three for Thrillers. Grinning from ear to ear, I just can’t believe it.
The day I went to see him, I downloaded the book and started reading the rest of it. I’d only gotten in a few chapters that night at the hotel. It’s not my genre of choice, but it has me hooked. I couldn’t be more proud of him. I only wonder if he’ll allow himself this success, even if it takes him some time to embrace it.
I can’t stop myself from wondering how he’s doing, if he’s decided to get some help, but I don’t know what else to do. He doesn’t believe his discontent is any of his own doing, but just a matter of circumstance.
After shutting down my laptop, I start preparing the dinner I’ve invited everyone for—Luke and Richard, Julia and Derek. I want Kiran to get to know them all better, and vice versa.
***
Later that evening, my guests and I linger at the dining table, drinking margaritas.
“Oh, Lord,” Richard says, rubbing his stomach. “I really should not have gone for that third enchilada.”
“Psh! You’re a lightweight, Richard. I’m going for my fifth.” Hayden reaches for the spoon and dishes another onto his plate.
“Yeah, I remember when I could eat like that.” Richard drops his napkin on his plate. “It’ll catch up with you. Wait and see.”
I rise to clear plates, and Kiran joins me, bringing some dishes to the sink. “Dinner was delicious.” He kisses me on the lips. “Thank you.”
I glance over at Julia, and she gives me a closed-mouth grin, then she whispers something to Derek. He chuckles, and I narrow my eyes at her.
“Alright, everyone,” I say, once the table is cleared. “We are going to initiate Kiran into our sick group by a game of Cards Against Humanity.”
Everyone groans nervously, and Kiran looks bewildered. “Have a seat,” I say to him, motioning toward his chair.
“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Carly asks.
“Yes, I’m sure. He has to know what he’s getting himself into.” I circle the table, topping off everyone’s margarita, then I pull the game box from a cabinet and sit down. “You see, Kiran has this long-held perception of me that needs to be adjusted.”
“What do you mean?” Luke smiles and sips from his glass.
I lean forward with my elbows on the table and turn to Kiran. “He’s got this idea that I’m sooooo nice.” I raise my hands. “Okay, I’ll give him that, but—”
“He’s not been subjected to your twisted sense of humor,” Luke interrupts.
I point a finger at Luke. “Exactly.”
Kiran chuckles.
“Kiran, before we begin,” Julia says, “you must know that this is the most unpolitically correct game on the planet. You okay with that?”
He looks at me and grins. “I guess we’ll find out.”
Twenty minutes into the game, we’re all pretty slaphappy, and I’m getting to the point where I’m laughing at everything. There have been some pretty cringeworthy moments so far, but everyone is having a good time, and Kiran even seems to be relaxed.
It’s Hayden’s turn to read the next question. “During sex, I like to think about blank.”
We all look at our cards, trying to come up with our most entertaining choice. Some of us are giggling, while others are complaining that we don’t have anything good. We slide our cards over to Hayden.
“During sex, I like to think about...” He turns over the first card. “German dungeon porn.”
We all snicker, and Derek asks, “What the hell is German dungeon porn?”
Hayden continues. “Children on leashes.”
Carly does a double-take. “Ah, that’s just wrong.”
“A middle-aged man on roller skates.” That one gets us all laughing.
Hayden reads off the rest of the cards. “Hot cheese, boogers, a sausage festival, and finally... a homoerotic volleyball montage.” Deadpan, he looks up and squints at his dad and Richard. We all bust up.
“Okay, definitely gotta go with the homoerotic volleyball montage,” Hayden says.
“And that would be mine.” Luke raises his hand, and Hayden hands him the card. “I’ve been waiting to use that one.”
After What gives me uncontrollable gas? and What do old people smell like?, it’s my turn.
I draw a card and read. “Blank leads to blank. Okay, so you have to choose two cards for this one.” Putting my hand on Kiran’s thigh, I lean over to him and whisper, “Are you completely repulsed by now?”
He gives me a smirk, and then chuckles to himself as he reads his cards.
“Alrighty, then. Let’s see what you’ve got.” I line the cards up in front of me. “An oversized lollipop leads to half-assed foreplay.” I jerk my head up. “Ewww!”
“Yeah, that one’s a little disturbing,” Julia mutters.
“Fiery poops lead to another goddamn vampire movie.” Making a face, I shake my head.
“What the...?” Carly says.
I continue to share each set, becoming more giddy with each one, making it difficult for me to finish.
When I read the last one to myself, I start giggling and can’t stop. “An erection that lasts...” I pause to control myself and try again. “An erection that lasts longer than four hours...” My voice squeaks, and everyone chuckles at my inability to get it out. “Leads to an awkward voicemail.”
Given that we all have a fair amount of alcohol in our bloodstream, everyone roars with laughter.
“No competition,” I declare. “That one was the winner, hands down.” I scan everyone at the table, waiting for the owner to claim it.
“That one’s mine,” Kiran admits quietly.
I nod with approval and smile as I slide the card over to him.
“Well done!” Richard says.
We continue enjoying each other’s company over coffee and dessert, and around ten o’clock, everyone starts heading out. After hugging me good-bye, Luke, Richard, and Derek each give Kiran a warm handshake as they leave; Julia offers a hug and a kiss on his cheek.
Meanwhile, the kids gather their things for a night out. “We’re gonna meet up with some friends and catch a midnight show at Town Square,” Hayden says, swinging his keys. “It was good seeing you again, Kiran.”
“You, too.”
Carly follows her brother, holding her hand up in a motionless wave with a knowing, little smile on her face. “Bye.”
I lock the door behind them. In his jeans and v-neck t-shirt, Kiran stands with his hands in his pockets, looking sexier than ever. “Your family and friends are great. You’re very blessed.”
“I know. I am.” I walk over to him and lift my face to his, and his lips meet mine in a slow, enticing kiss. “I’ve been waiting for one of those all evening.”
His hand slides to the back of my neck where his fingers lift into my hair. “Do you want me to stay for a while? Or do you want to call it a night?”
I shake my head. “I don’t want you to go. Will you stay... for the night?”
He raises his eyebrows. We haven’t been together since we returned to Vegas a week ago. I’m not sure why, except maybe both of us were trying to feel out our relationship now that we’re back in the real world.
“What about Carly and Hayden?”
“They’re not babies anymore, and they
already know how I feel, that you make me happy.”
He takes a short breath and kisses me again.
We hold hands as we walk down the hallway to my bedroom. “So what did you think of the game?”
“It was as bad as you warned.” He grins. “But I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in a long time.”
“Right? I’m not sure what it is about raunchy, uncomfortable humor that gets me every time. I tell myself I shouldn’t laugh...” We stand beside my bed. “Your answer about the awkward voicemail was awesome. Well played.”
I raise my hand for a high five, which he returns. And when our hands meet, he holds mine in his and slowly brings it behind my back, pulling me close. My smile fades at his attentive gaze. I suppose one day I’ll get used to those soul-searching eyes, piercing any walls I may have erected. But for now, whenever he looks at me like this, I simply turn to mush.
“I’ve missed you,” he says, kissing me beneath my ear.
I briefly lift my shoulder, reacting to the chill his touch sends through me. I tilt my head as his lips trail down my neck. “I’ve missed you, too.”
My hands move to his hips, then his butt, as he gently pulls aside the collar of my sleeveless blouse, working his way to my shoulder.
Sliding my hands from his back to his stomach, I unbutton his jeans while burying my mouth in his neck, standing on tiptoes to reach him. I lose my balance for a moment, and he grabs my waist. We laugh softly as I pull off his shirt, then lightly kiss the hollow of his chest as his fingers weave through my hair.
A sudden pounding on the front door startles us.
“What the...?” We look at each other. “Someone must have left something behind. I’ll be right back.”
I race to the door and pull it open. No!
“David, what are you doing here?”
“Hey, baby.” He trips over the threshold, wearing a pair of khaki carpenter shorts and a shirt that looks like it’s been chewed up and spit out. “I came to see my girl, Carly. I need to talk to her.” His words are slurred, and he is easily the most pathetic thing I have ever laid eyes on.
“Carly isn’t here.”
“What?” He smiles and puts his hand to the side of his mouth. “Carly, girl!” he sings, like he could be calling Trixie. In fact, that’s who comes from the back of the house, excitedly wagging her tail. “Trixie!” he exclaims, as if she’s his long-lost friend.
Vegas to Varanasi (Fortytude Series Book 1) Page 16
