Julia’s face flamed. Oh, why hadn’t she kept silent? “It was several years ago.”
“Please, tell us,” Penelope begged.
Pride tugged at Julia’s heart, urging her to keep the painful story to herself. But sharing it might help the girls make better choices and avoid regrets and a broken heart.
Sarah sent Julia a compassionate look.
“All right. I’ll tell you. But you must keep it in confidence and not pepper me with questions until I’m done.”
Penelope nodded, barely able to keep her smile at bay.
Katherine also nodded, her expression softening.
“When I was twenty-two, a young man came to join our missionary work in India. His name was Richard Green.”
Penelope sighed and leaned back in her chair. “Was he incredibly charming and wonderfully handsome?”
Julia lifted her finger and sent Penelope a warning look.
“Sorry.” She regained her composure and focused on Julia again.
“Richard Green was tall and handsome, but more important, he had a sincere faith and a desire to spread the gospel. Those were qualities I had always hoped for in a husband.
“But he had a difficult time adjusting to life in India. His efforts to learn the language did not go well, and he often asked me to act as his translator. He became very attentive, and we soon formed an attachment.” Her throat tightened, and for a moment she could not continue. She looked down and smoothed her hand over her skirt.
“What happened?” Katherine asked.
“My mother was concerned and warned me that things seemed to be progressing too quickly. But my father felt we knew Richard well, since we shared daily ministry, meals, and conversation. He seemed sincere, and my father had no objection. So when Richard proposed, I accepted.”
Penelope clasped her hands below her chin. “How exciting. Were you certain he was the man you wanted to marry?”
“I thought so at the time.”
“Did you love him?” Katherine’s gaze grew more intense.
Julia swallowed. “Love is more than a fleeting emotion. It’s a choice you make based on many things.”
“But did you feel a special connection with him?”
“Yes. I believe I did.”
Sympathy filled Penelope’s eyes. “What tore you apart?”
“One day Richard became very ill. For two weeks I stayed by his bedside, caring for him night and day. His life hung in the balance, and though my father is an excellent doctor, we had no idea if Richard would survive.”
Penelope gasped. “Oh no. He didn’t die, did he?”
“No, he recovered. But the illness shook his faith deeply. As his health returned, so did his desire to go back to England. Within a month of his recovery, Richard told my father he had been mistaken about his calling to India. He wanted to return to England as soon as arrangements could be made.”
Penelope leaned forward. “Why didn’t you go with him?”
The betrayal hit her again, stealing her breath for a moment. “He didn’t ask me.”
“The coward!” Katherine crossed her arms and glared toward the bookcase.
“What did he say?” Penelope asked. “How did he break the engagement?”
Julia had no trouble recalling the painful words. They seemed branded in her memory. “Only that he was sorry, and that he should not have proposed when he wasn’t sure he would stay in India. Then he asked me to return the ring.” Though five years had passed, Richard’s decision still stung. Her affections for him had dimmed, but the feelings of rejection remained.
Penelope’s eyes widened. “Did you give it back?”
Julia nodded. “It was a family heirloom that had belonged to his grandmother. It wouldn’t have been right to keep it.”
Katherine’s eyes blazed. “Dreadful man! I would’ve refused to return the ring and sold it! Then I would’ve told him I hope your ship sinks in the Indian Ocean and you die a painful death by shark attack and drowning!”
Julia smiled, remembering she’d felt much the same way, though she’d tamed her response for her parents’ sake. Still, it did her heart good to hear Katherine take up her cause. Perhaps she and Katherine had more in common than she’d first believed.
William strode through the great hall, his mind on the new electrical generators he’d read about in the Times that morning. Bringing electricity to Highland would be a great improvement, but he doubted he could afford it in the near future. If only he could pay off the death duties, then he could continue to update the house and make sure it would be in good condition for years to come.
He heard voices from the drawing room, and his steps slowed.
“Was he incredibly charming and wonderfully handsome?” Penelope’s voice drifted past the half-open drawing room door.
Who was she speaking to? Had Katherine been slipping out to see a young man without his permission? He scowled and shook his head.
“Richard Green was tall and handsome, but more important, he had a sincere faith and a desire to spread the gospel.”
William’s scowl faded. It was not Katherine, but Miss Foster who spoke. He stepped closer.
So the spirited Miss Foster had been pursued by one of her associate missionaries. That did not surprise him, but his scowl returned as he listened to the rest of the story.
Heat surged through William’s chest. What kind of man made an offer of marriage without being certain of his intentions? It was shameful and dishonorable. He sincerely hoped he never met Richard Green. If he did, he would have difficulty restraining his desire to flatten the man.
“May I help you with something, sir?”
William spun around and met the sober-faced gaze of his footman, Nelson, who carried a silver tea tray. “No.” He lowered his voice and stepped away from the door.
“Miss Foster asked that the ladies be served tea in the drawing room at four. Will you be joining them?”
William hesitated. He understood the sting of betrayal all too well. Could he sit with Miss Foster and not reveal that he had overheard her conversation?
His decision took only a second. “Yes. I’ll take tea with the ladies.”
“Very good, sir.”
He had nothing to fear. In the past three years since his wife’s death, he had become accustomed to hiding his true feelings from everyone. Even his closest friends did not suspect he suffered from a bitter wound every time he thought of Amelia and each time he laid eyes on his children, whose features and coloring reminded him so vividly of their devious and unfaithful mother.
SIX
A bright red leaf fluttered past Julia’s shoulder and landed on the emerald grass next to the pathway cutting across the parkland. The bright contrast between the two colors made her smile. How she loved these cool, crisp autumn days, with the scent of burning leaves in the air and a brilliant blue sky overhead.
She clasped Millie’s hand and strolled back toward the house at an easy pace. Ann walked beside her. As usual, Andrew ran ahead, bounding across the grass like a wild pony.
Ann shook her head. “Master Andrew never slows down.”
“He does have a wonderful supply of energy.”
“It’s hard to imagine him as the future heir of Highland.”
“He has time to prepare.”
“And he’ll be needing every minute of it.”
Julia’s heart ached as she watched him. Poor boy. She tried to give him some time outdoors each day and balance her instruction with words of praise, but others were not so kind. Someone was always telling him to settle down and behave like a gentleman. It grieved her to recall the thoughtless comments she had heard spoken about him in the servant’s hall.
Just this morning Mrs. Emmitt had scolded him severely for running his hand along the paneling in the hallway. Why did she have to be so harsh? He was only nine years old. How could she expect him to always walk through the house in a dignified manner and never touch the woodwork?
Ann s
ighed. “I’m not sure how I’ll keep him out of mischief this afternoon while you’re teaching the young ladies.”
Julia sent her an encouraging smile. “I’m sure you’ll do fine.” But keeping Andrew out of trouble each afternoon was a challenge for Ann, and it often reduced her to tears. Julia wished it wasn’t so, but she could not be in two places at once. Millie could sit quietly and play with her dolls while Julia met with the older girls for their lessons, but Andrew could not. He needed more activity, something that would capture his interest and challenge his skills.
If only there was a man who would teach him the skills and foster the qualities that helped turn a boy into a man.
“Papa!” Millie dropped Julia’s hand and dashed down the path. Andrew darted across the grass, headed for his father as well.
Julia’s heart lifted as she followed the children to meet Sir William. Surely seeing their father would brighten their day.
He greeted the children with a nod and slight smile, but he did not embrace them.
“Look what I found.” Millie held out a shiny stone she’d picked up on their walk.
He clasped his hands behind his back, giving the stone a brief glance. “Very nice.” But his words did not carry much enthusiasm.
Why was he so reserved around the children? If only he would lean down, examine the treasure more closely, and share Millie’s excitement. Didn’t he realize how much they longed for a gentle touch and an encouraging word?
Andrew looked up at his father. “We’ve been on a walk all the way to the sheep pens and the stream.”
William frowned slightly and shifted his gaze to Millie. “Really? You walked that far?”
She nodded, her smile and sparkling blue-green eyes reflecting her pleasure. “I petted two sheep with very soft wool.”
“And after she dropped her special rock into the pen, I climbed over the fence and got it for her,” Andrew added with a proud grin. “Miss Foster says I am to always be her protector—like the knights of old.”
William lowered his dark eyebrows and frowned at the boy’s arm. “I suppose that’s how you tore the sleeve of your jacket.” He pointed to a small rip near the elbow.
Andrew’s smile wilted, and he lowered his chin. “Yes sir.”
“You must learn to take better care of your clothing.” William turned to Ann. “Take the children inside and repair Master Andrew’s jacket.”
“Yes sir.” Ann bobbed a quick curtsy. “Come along, children.” She led them off toward the house.
Julia clamped her mouth closed and marched after the children. Dreadful man! He’d stolen the joy out of their day with his brooding scowl and disheartening words.
“Miss Foster, I’d like to speak to you.”
Did he intend to scold her as well? If he did, she might very well tell him exactly what she thought of his critical, hands-off attitude toward his children. She turned and faced him. Lifting her chin, she returned his steady gaze. “Yes sir?”
“Were you not informed that Millicent has fragile health, and that she’s not to overexert herself?”
Julia gave a slight nod. “Mrs. Emmitt mentioned concern for her health.”
“Then I must ask why you felt it appropriate to take her on such a long walk.”
Heat infused her face. “We go for a walk every day after luncheon. I believe they have strengthened Millicent and been even more helpful for Andrew.”
“But it’s at least a mile to the sheep pens.”
“Yes sir. I believe it is.”
“And that’s all you have to say?”
“No sir. I chose the sheep pens as our destination because I read the Twenty-third Psalm to the children this morning. Andrew mentioned you owned a fine herd of sheep, and he seemed quite interested in them. So I promised the children, if they worked hard and finished their lessons before luncheon, we would walk down to see the sheep after.”
“But that distance is too far for Millicent.”
“I don’t think so. You see, I’ve been increasing the length of our walks each day. I’m always careful to let Millicent set the pace, and we stop and rest if she appears tired.”
“So you allow a six-year-old to determine your activities, regardless of whether they are detrimental to her health or not?”
“No sir. I try to take into account her abilities and desires, and then use my best judgment. You’ll remember my father is a doctor, and I’ve grown up assisting him in the clinic.”
He huffed a laugh. “So now you consider yourself an expert on health as well as child rearing?”
“Not an expert, but a keen observer and a concerned and loving governess.”
He stared at her for a moment, then shook his head and strode a few paces away. “You are quite a puzzle, Miss Foster.”
“A puzzle, sir? In what way?”
He turned back. “You’re certainly not afraid to speak your mind—and very boldly I might add.”
“I’ve been taught to be honest. I have no use for pretension or falsehood.”
“But you seem to have little concern that I am your employer, and you are still working under a one-month trial.”
The reality of her situation sent a tremor rushing through her. “If you feel I’ve been disrespectful, I apologize.”
“Not disrespectful, but I do sense a challenge in your words.”
“Then you are correct. As governess, I must speak up for the children when there is a need.”
“And you feel there is a need now?”
She swallowed. “Yes sir. I do.”
His dark eyebrows dipped again. “You find me lacking in fulfilling my fatherly duties?”
She hesitated, pushing down her fears. Honesty was a virtue, but rudeness was not. Surely there was a way she could state her case without offending him. “I believe there is more you could do for the children.”
“And what might that be?”
“I believe investing a little more time with them each day would pay great dividends in their character and happiness.”
“I’m not accustomed to spending time with children.”
“I understand, but it is a skill that can be learned like any other.”
He clasped his hands behind his back and looked off to the distant hills, his eyes shadowed by his brooding expression. “I do want what’s best for my children, but I can make no promise to change my habits.” His expression eased, and he gave a slight nod. “But I’ll consider what you’ve said.”
“Thank you. That’s all I ask.”
Lawrence stepped out the front door and looked her way, a frown darkening his brow.
Julia pulled in a quick breath, remembering her afternoon plans. “I’m sorry, sir. Would you please excuse me? I am supposed to meet with the young ladies at two o’clock. Lady Gatewood is joining us.”
“Very well.” His eyes shone with a hint of amusement now. “We mustn’t keep Lady Gatewood waiting.”
She suppressed a smile, then looked up at him. “No sir, we must not.”
“Go on then.” The corners of his mouth lifted in the slightest smile.
She bit her lip and hurried back toward the house. Had that actually been a look of acceptance, even approval in his eyes?
Lawrence stepped toward her as she approached the house. “The ladies are waiting for you in the great hall.”
For a moment she thought he might invite her through the front door, but he did not. She sighed. Some of the rules that separated her from the family seemed so senseless. “Please tell them I’ll be there directly.”
He nodded, stepped inside, and closed the door after him.
Julia glanced over her shoulder as she hurried around the corner of the house. Sir William stood on the path where she had left him. He appeared to be watching her, but his hat shaded his eyes, and she couldn’t be certain.
She had taken quite a risk in challenging him like that. But it had been worth it if the conversation prompted him to give the children more of his time and atte
ntion.
Every child needed to know he was loved by his father. And didn’t every father want to sense his children’s admiration and affection? It seemed the natural order of things. But for some reason, it wasn’t true for Sir William, Andrew, and Millie. Her heart ached as she considered all that was lacking in their family.
Oh how she longed to see things change for them.
William entered the great hall, his mind still on the conversation with Miss Foster. Were her concerns valid? Had his lack of involvement with his children put them at a disadvantage? He had given them a large, beautiful home and provided for all their physical needs. But in Miss Foster’s mind, that was not enough.
She had no idea the struggle he faced or why he kept his distance from the children. But he could never tell her that every time he saw them, their likeness to their mother slapped him in the face. And once again he saw himself as the man who was not enough to satisfy his young, impetuous wife.
It was bad enough that he wrestled with these painful memories. He must not let his negative feelings hurt his children. He might not show it in a way that pleased Miss Foster, but he loved Andrew and Millie, and he wanted them to have a happy childhood.
“William, I must speak to you.” Lady Gatewood strode toward him across the great hall. Katherine and Penelope stood together at the bottom of the stairway, their gazes following their aunt.
The muscles in his neck and shoulders tightened, but he forced his expression to remain neutral. “Lady Gatewood.” He nodded to her. “Good afternoon.”
“Shall we go in the library?”
Her question pulled him up short. Why did she always seem to forget this was his house? He should be the one to invite her into his library, not the other way around. But he forced that thought away and motioned toward the door. “After you.”
She swept into the library, her teal-blue dress swishing as she rounded the corner. Stationing herself in the center of the room, she turned and faced him. “Both girls will need a new wardrobe for their time in London. Of course, Katherine’s needs will be greater than Penelope’s, since this is her first season. But if we are going to work with the best dressmakers, we must get started right away.”
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