“The missionary position is only for starters,” he whispered in her ear. “It’s time for Act Two.”
Coming up behind her, he pulled one of her legs over his hip and entered her from behind, the position allowing him to slide impossibly deep.
“Oh, God,” she cried out.
A rush of pleasure flowed through Theo at her completely uninhibited scream. This woman could not comprehend how sensual she was, but before the night was over he was going to show her all the ways they could love each other.
After nearly an hour of holding himself back while they explored several more positions, Theo finally let go, coming with a ferocity that had his limbs shaking and his heart pounding against his ribcage. He collapsed onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, pulling in shaky breaths, and willing his breathing to come under control.
He scooted up behind Deirdre and rested his hand against the ride of her hip, peppering her shoulder with moist kisses.
“You’re really good at that,” she said in a tired voice.
“Thank you.” Theo laughed. “I try. You’re pretty good yourself.”
She choked out an embarrassed laugh.
“What?” Theo laughed. “How can you doubt yourself after what we just did?”
“I’m not doubting myself anymore,” she said. “I never thought of myself as particularly good at, you know, that. You’ve made a believer out of me.”
She twisted around until she faced him. At the sight of her breasts glistening with sweat, Theo’s body hardened, despite the fatigue from the past hour of practically non-stop sex they’d just had.
Deirdre drew her fingers along his cheek. “Thank you for making me feel sexy, and desirable.”
Theo stared at her for several intense moments before he asked, “Did I make you feel loved? Because that’s what I was going for, Deirdre.” He caught her hand and brought it to his lips. “I love you. I have for a long time.”
Theo wasn’t able to read her face as she stared up at him. His chest tightened with fear. Should he have waited a bit longer to tell her? With all the heightened emotion of the night, maybe dropping the L-bomb on her was too much.
“Don’t let what I said scare you,” Theo pleaded. “It doesn’t change anything, Deirdre.”
“Of course it does,” she said. “It changes everything.” She brought her hand around his neck and pulled his head down. “Have you any idea how long I’ve dreamt of you saying those words to me?”
Before he could respond, she covered his mouth in a kiss he felt down to the tips of his toes, and all Theo could think about was having this to look forward to for the rest of his life. A man shouldn’t be this lucky.
* * *
Deirdre stared at the wispy white curtains billowing in the gentle breeze that flowed through the balcony’s sliding glass doors. She and Theo had eaten their dinner outside, watching the sun set. Then they had returned to the bed and made love twice more before Theo finally fell asleep.
She was still wide awake, so wired she could hardly contain herself. She caressed his hand, which had cradled her breast since he’d fallen asleep. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so content.
Theo Stokes had actually admitted he was in love with her. All these years of loving this man, and finally, he was returning it.
But for how long?
A bead of worry clogged Deirdre’s throat.
Earlier tonight, Theo had made it a point to tell her that he’d fallen in love with her well before they’d come to Hawaii. He told her it was not the new, bold Deirdre he’d fallen for.
But that’s who she was now. In just a few days she had been changed, for good. Was Theo expecting her to go back to being the old Deirdre who spent all her time catering to the needs of others? Did he expect her to cater to him when they returned to New York?
She would not do it. Even for him. She had finally discovered what women her age had known for years, that it was okay to put herself first. It was okay to be concerned about her own needs. She had spent most of her life considering what was best for everyone else. It was her turn.
Deirdre listened to Theo’s deep, even breathing.
“Please don’t try to change me,” she whispered.
It would be the height of irony for her to finally gain Theo’s love then lose it because she was no longer the same person. But if she was forced to choose between the two, there was no question in her mind which she’d choose. She was choosing herself.
Chapter 12
Deirdre leaned her head into the soft leather and exhaled an appreciative sigh as the nail technician rubbed exfoliating sea salt into her skin.
“I still can’t believe you’ve never had a pedicure,” Paige said, flipping through a magazine.
“I can’t either,” Deirdre replied, reaching for her glass of champagne. “I didn’t know what I was missing.”
“Girl, I never pass up the chance to have someone play with my feet.” Paige paused and a devious grin curled up the sides of her mouth. “See, I was about to say something dirty, but I stopped myself.”
Deirdre looked over at her and matched her grin. “Wouldn’t bother me.”
Paige eyed her curiously, then she slapped the magazine close on her lap. “Deirdre Smallwood, what have you been up to on this island?”
Deirdre flushed with embarrassment, but she didn’t try to hide the truth from her sister-in-law. It was pointless. She knew it was written all over her face.
Paige’s eyes widened. “Is it Theo?” she asked.
“Of course it’s Theo,” Deirdre said with a terse whisper. “Do you think I’d sleep with some random island man?”
“You slept with him?” Paige shrieked. Every head in the spa seemed to turn their way. “Sorry,” Paige mouthed. Then in a much lower voice, she repeated, “You slept with him? When? Where?”
“Which time?” Deirdre quipped.
“Hot damn.” Paige laughed. “My goodness, girl, what has gotten into you?”
Deirdre slid her sister-in-law a sly, wicked grin. “I could have said something really dirty, but I stopped myself.”
“Deirdre!” Paige’s brows nearly touched her hairline. “Woman, you had better start talking right now.”
Deirdre gestured to the woman rinsing sea salt from her calves. “I’ll tell you later.”
“I don’t care if she hears. I don’t even know these people,” Paige said. “I want to know what’s going on with you. Now!”
“It is time for you to soak,” the technician said, but Deirdre could tell by her bashful smile that her departure had nothing to do with soaking feet.
When the technician left, Paige turned to her and said, “Now spill it.”
Deirdre expelled a purposely exaggerated sigh before launching into an accounting of everything that had transpired, starting with her stalking Theo in the hotel bar their first night in Hawaii. Paige’s eyes grew wider with each detail Deirdre shared, from the creation of her bucket list, to zip-lining, and the romantic lunch at the waterfall. She didn’t go into detail about what they did after lunch, despite Paige’s insistent prodding. And she didn’t say much at all about last night, even though every fiber in her body tingled just at the thought of the erotic journey Theo had taken her on.
“He’s so generous,” Deirdre said. “I’ve never been with a man who takes so much pleasure in making sure I’m satisfied. I didn’t know men even did that.”
“Honey, I can tell you some stories—”
Deirdre put her hand up, staving off further comment. “Remember that it is my brother you’re married to.”
“Sorry,” Paige said, an impish grin tilting her lips. “But he’s damn generous, too.”
Deirdre rolled her eyes.
“It is,” Deirdre said. “I don’t know where it’s going, and to be honest, I don’t even want to think about that right now. I just want to enjoy this. I only have a day and a half left with Theo in Hawaii and a good portion of that will be consumed by the cooking competition and game tomorrow.”
“But at least Theo will be covering the competition.”
“Yes, but he’ll be working. So will I. We won’t have much alone time left, and I don’t want to waste a second of it.”
“I’m so happy the two of you have finally come to your senses.” Paige reached over and captured her hand. “You deserve this, Dee. Just look at you. You’re glowing.”
“I think it’s something in the air down here.”
“I think you’re onto something. I told Torrian that we should just extend this trip for another two weeks and not worry about honeymooning in the Azores. This place is amazing.”
“If you do, you have to go zip-lining. It’s the most exhilarating thing ever!” Deirdre said. “I can also point you in the direction of a very nice waterfall.”
“Listen to you,” Paige laughed.
“I’m happy,” Deirdre said with an easy shrug. It was as simple as that. Not only was she happy, but she was satisfied. “You were right,” she told her sister-in-law. “I had spent so much time focusing on everyone else in my life, that I completely forgot how to focus on me. If I took even an afternoon to read a book or just watch an old movie on TV, I would feel guilty.”
“Being selfish can be pretty sweet,” Paige returned. “Of course, the big question is what will happen when you get back home? You know as soon as you walk through the door Dante is going to revert back to being helpless and expect you to wait on him hand and foot.”
“Well, he’s in for a rude awakening,” Deirdre said. “I’ve let him get by for too long without having to lift a finger. It’s time he starts doing things for himself.”
“Good for you,” Paige said, pride gleaming in her eyes. “So, I guess the only real question is what’s going to happen between you and Theo? Is this just an island fling, or are the two of you finally going to act like adults and make something of this when you get back to New York?”
“I don’t know,” Deirdre murmured as she stared out the spa’s huge glass windows. Dark clouds swirled above the ocean, their tumultuous roiling much like the squalls crashing around in her stomach.
She wasn’t sure what would happen when they returned to New York and didn’t have the magic of this island driving their romance. Theo had been adamant that he was done with his fast-wheeling lifestyle, but Deirdre knew temptation would be lurking at every NFL-sponsored event he attended.
She also knew she would have to fight just as hard to resist falling back into her old ways. The responsibilities she’d put on hold while here in Hawaii were waiting for her back home. If anything was going to come of their budding relationship, both she and Theo would have to be diligent about not allowing their pasts roles to influence their future.
When she returned to her room, Deirdre had a message waiting on her hotel room’s messaging system. It was Theo, canceling their lunch date. Her heart jumped in her throat, but she suppressed the panic and listened to the rest of the message. Something had come up with the network—of course, it was work related—and he promised to make it up to her with an even more fantastic dinner.
Deirdre smiled at the telephone, still unable to believe how much fun she was having.
Wondering why he hadn’t called her cell phone, she fished around her purse for it and saw that the battery had died. She hadn’t paid much attention to her cell phone these past few days. Deirdre caught sight of the rumpled napkin she’d scribbled her bucket list on and pulled it out of her purse.
“Who would have thought,” she murmured. One wild, alcohol-aided spur of the moment decision had changed her entire outlook on life.
Deirdre stared at the one remaining item on the list. She’d decided not to worry about swimming with the stingrays, but now that her afternoon was suddenly open, she thought, why not? She no longer had anything to prove; she was doing this for her, because she wanted to do it. It was as simple as that.
As she changed into her swimsuit, Deirdre realized this was her first time wearing it since they’d arrived on the island. The only other time she’d gone swimming she hadn’t worn anything.
A naughty tremor of desire traveled down her spine at the memory. She wanted to remember every detail of that day for as long as possible, to experience those tingles when she was eighty years old.
She left her hair flowing, not bothering with the swim cap she’d packed, and headed for the resort’s stingray pool. When she’d created her list, this item was the one that had given her the most pause, but after everything she’d accomplished, Deirdre faced the pool without fear.
It was otherworldly, swimming among the giant sea creatures, their skin like silk as they brushed against her. When it was over Deirdre was tempted to sign up for another session, but impending dinner plans with Theo trumped stingrays.
Deirdre thanked the instructors and headed back to the main lobby elevators, thinking of how much Dante would have loved the stingray excursion. Maybe she, Theo and Dante could all come back to Hawaii together.
She stopped short, her hand hovering above the elevator button for a moment before pressing it for the eighth floor. For the first time, Deirdre contemplated how her son might feel about her new relationship with Theo. Theo had always treated Dante with the same brotherly affection he treated Torrian, and Deirdre knew Dante adored Theo. He was, in fact, a bit in awe of him. How would their new relationship change the dynamic between her son and her lover? Theo would probably assume more of a fatherly role, especially if she and Theo got—
Deirdre cut off the train of thought. She wouldn’t go there. Less than a week ago they were barely speaking to each other, she would not start thinking about a ring, and flowers, and wedding cake.
“Oh, goodness,” Deirdre groaned.
When she arrived back in her hotel room, she immediately went for her cell phone. New York was five hours ahead of Oahu time, so it was just before 8 p.m. If she knew her son, he was sitting in front of the television in Torrian’s basement, eating pizza, playing video games and watching MTV Cribs.
Dante picked up on the first ring. “Hey, Ma. What’s up?”
“Well, hello to you, too. I haven’t heard from you all week. Is the house still intact?”
“Yeah, it’s all good,” Dante said. “How’s Hawaii? You buy yourself a grass skirt or something?”
“No grass skirts. I did dance the hula at a luau,” Deirdre said. “On stage.”
“You danced?”
“I sure did. And I was pretty good, if I say so myself. Are you sure everything is okay, Dante? You haven’t eaten just pizza the entire week have you?”
“I’m good, Ma.”
“Just making sure,” she said.
“Uh, Ma?”
A foreboding sensation stalked up Deirdre’s spine at the unease she heard in Dante’s voice. She shot up from the bed. “What’s wrong?” she asked him.
“I…uh…I got accepted,” he said. “To Music for the World.”
Instant panic gripped her chest. She had feared hearing those words from the moment he’d emailed the application.
Deirdre squeezed her eyes shut and took several deep breaths. Giving Dante the independence he deserved was going to be, without a doubt, the hardest part of her new attitude toward life. But her son was growing up. It was time to let him become the man she and Torrian had both shaped him to be.
On the other end of the line, Dante was making a solid case about the greatness of
the Music for the World organization. “This is a chance of a lifetime,” he said, “And you know how much I want this. Please let me go.”
“Dante—”
“Don’t say no,” her son pleaded. “Thousands of musicians tried out for this, and I was lucky enough to get in. You have to let me go.”
“You’re right,” she said.
There was a pause. “I am?”
Deirdre chuckled at the disbelief in her son’s voice. “Yes,” she said. “I’ve smothered you long enough, don’t you think?”
“Are you serious!” Deirdre had to pull the phone away from her ear. “Don’t play, Ma. Seriously? You’re letting me go?”
“Yes,” Deirdre laughed, then she sobered. “Like you said, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It’s not fair to stop you from going just because I don’t want my little boy growing up. You’re going to do that no matter what.”
“Man, Uncle T. should have brought you to Hawaii a long time ago,” Dante said.
“Hey,” Deirdre admonished. “I can always change my mind.”
“No!” he yelled. “Please, Ma. I promise I won’t get into trouble.”
“I know you won’t,” she said. “You just better bring me back a souvenir.”
“I will, I promise,” Dante said, his enthusiasm bringing a smile to her face.
“I’m so proud of you, Dante.” She cleared away the emotion clogging her throat. “Okay, I need to go,” Deirdre said. “Paige and I are singing Diana Ross in the karaoke bar tonight.”
Dante’s groan came across loud and clear over the phone. “Man, I’m happy I’m not there.”
“We’re also singing Lady Gaga. Paige said if we’re good enough, she’s going to have someone record us and load the video to YouTube. Maybe we’ll be discovered by some famous record producer.” Another groan. Deirdre threw her head back and laughed at the ceiling. “See you in a few days, baby. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Ma. Have a good birthday tomorrow.”
When she disconnected the call with Dante, Deirdre spent several minutes staring at the view outside the open curtains in her room, but not really seeing anything. She pictured her son as a scrawny kindergartener, with crooked teeth and ears that were too big for his head. Braces had straightened his teeth and he had grown into those ears, but he had always been her little Dante.
Pleasure Rush Page 14
