“A bully that does not allow me to express my opinions. And when I do express them you disregard them as if they mean nothing.” Tears were forming in Alice’s eyes, threatening to fall down her cheeks. “Julian, people will hate you.”
“Am I a bully for wanting you near me? For wanting to hold you close to me at night? For wanting to wake up next to you in the morning? For not giving a damn about what Duchess of Whatever, or Baroness of Nothing cares about? If that makes me a bully, then that’s what I am.”
“You are disregarding my feelings.”
Julian stopped what he was doing and stared at her. “Do you love me, Alice?”
The question came from out of the blue. Alice wasn’t sure what to say. After a few moments she said, “Julian, I care about you. Truthfully, I never thought to love. I didn’t love Joseph. I married him because I needed a husband. I don’t want that to happen again.
“I am falling in love with you, Alice,” he said. “We are so perfect for each other. Last night proved it. You were nervous, but excited, and you did as I asked with no question. That shows a great trust. If you don’t think you are falling in love with me now, do you think it could happen in the future?”
“I don’t know!” she yelled. “But I am not willing to ruin you in an effort to find out.”
“Thank you for trying to save my already tarnished reputation, Alice,” he said. “I assure you the people of society know I take lovers, and that I am a cad. If those ladies stared at you today it was because they are mad that you are doing what their daughters could not—capture my heart.”
Alice put her hands on her face, trying to stop the tears that were now falling down her cheeks.
“You can’t mean that,” she said. “Here is what I heard this afternoon. Those ladies think I have bamboozled you. That I am taking advantage of your position and your money.”
“Let them think it, Alice,” Julian said softly. “The only thing I care about is what you think. If you do not want to be my wife say so now and we can end it. But I do not want to spend another day without you under this roof, Alice.”
“But I have been under this roof, Julian,” she said softly as she dropped her hands back to her sides. “Why can’t we continue to operate two households until after the wedding?”
“Because I want everyone to know that you are mine.” He gently stroked her cheeks. “Do you realize you just said until after the wedding?”
Alice felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. The breath left her lungs and she gulped deeply to try and recapture it.
Julian gathered her in his arms and held her close. “Take deep breaths, my pet.”
After her breathing had returned to normal Alice gave him an impish grin. “Do I receive punishments for speaking my mind?”
He kissed her forehead and tucked her head under his chin. “Never for speaking your mind. That is one of the things that I love about you. There will be no punishment this afternoon. Right now, I want to fuck you so hard that you will feel as if you are going to die from pleasure.”
Maybe she wouldn’t die from pleasure, but she might die from the words she’d just heard.
“I’m frightened,” she said.
“Why?”
“Because of you,” she said. “Because of all this. I don’t know how to be a lady.” She held out her arms to let him know that she was indicating the entire room.
“I don’t want you to be a lady in here,” he said while walking around the room. “Let me show you.”
He crossed the room quickly, gathering Alice in his arms. She tried to push away from him, but he held her close. He kissed her harshly, pressing his lips against hers. The kiss was almost painful, something she’d never thought to feel.
When it broke, he spun her around and thrust her toward the bed so that she was in the position in which he’d taken her last night. She tried to stand but he lowered his weight on top of her. Alice gathered the bedding in her fists and tried not to push herself back against him. But it was hard. She wanted to take him inside her again, wanted to be with him.
“Just last night you took my offerings and agreed that I would be in charge,” he said in her ear. “Now, you’ve listened to old biddies and their gossip and you were ready to push me aside? Are we together on this, Alice, or will we have to go through it every time you go in public and some gossip whispers about you?”
“I’m not as strong as you are,” she said.
“Yes, you are.” He kissed her shoulder. “You just don’t realize it.”
“I don’t know if I can deal with those women,” she said. “They were all staring at me, all talking about me.”
His laugh was soft. “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to put them all in their place.” His kisses were sweet and soft as he turned them, so they were lying side by side. He cuddled Alice against his chest. It felt warm and wonderful to be in his arms.
“Are we going to make love?” she asked.
“Or fuck?” he countered.
Alice laughed.
“After dinner,” he whispered in her ear. “Remember this talk when you start to doubt again. And if it happens, the first thing you do is come to me. Understand?”
The rest after dinner,” he whispered as her tears subsided. “I want you to think about me all night long, as I will be thinking of you.”
Dinner at the Essex house was uneventful, at least the actual eating part was. The men talked strategies about what would happen when MacIntosh was at the Ellington party. The ladies talked of babies and clothing.
Baby George made an appearance with his nanny and was passed from person to person, a big smile on his face.
“He looks like his father,” Carin said. “Did you hear that Ellington’s daughter is going to have a baby? That means I’ll be a grandmother.”
That shocked Alice, and she made a mental note to ask about Carin and Ellington’s relationship, about when it had started and how they had come to be together.
But that was for later.
“We need to get together tomorrow to wrap the items we bought for the scavenger hunt,” Charlotte said.
“More of my money down the drain,” Essex said.
“Your money, but it will be at my home,” Ellington replied. “If you are willing to share in the cost of that just let me know.”
“Instead of talking about costs we should make a plan to deal with MacIntosh,” Julian said. “Should we have an officer on hand in case things get nasty? I know nothing about this man.”
“I think that might be a good idea,” Ellington said. “I will hire one, or maybe even two, to sit upstairs in case we need to call on them.”
Alice listened as they talked about cost, and about who they could hire. She was happy that none of the ladies brought up their afternoon discussion about wedding dresses and which one she should wear. Despite her heated argument with Julian this afternoon she was still nervous about letting these ladies know they had been right.
They agreed to meet tomorrow at two at the Ellington house to wrap packages for the party. When they were on their way home, Alice burrowed against Julian’s chest.
“I’m a little jealous of the relationship you have with your friends,” she said.
“Why is that?” he asked.
“I’ve never had close friends,” she said. “Watching all of you joke and laugh together. It was fun. I like being a part of a couple.”
“I’m glad you’ve come to your senses,” Julian said. “And I hope our children are like George, happy and content. But of course, with you as their mother how could they be otherwise?”
Julian kissed her forehead and Alice kept her gaze looking down at the carriage floor. “I never thought I would have children.”
“We will have as many as you want, my love. Just say the word and they will be running all over the house.”
“A boy with beautiful green eyes, as handsome as his father.”
“And a girl with beautiful blue eyes, a
s beautiful and smart as her mother.”
He kissed her again, reaching down to cup her breast through the satin bodice of her new gown.
“Are you so sure that things are going to be over after the party?” she asked. “It seems to me as if we should be a little more cautious.”
Julian’s laughter shook his chest. “Dealing with MacIntosh will not be hard. And you did identify the problem by remembering that he was engaged to marry young Lady Franklin. That means our business dealings are over and you are staying with me because you want to.”
Alice rather liked the sound of that. She wondered what he would think about her working after they were married. She wanted to ask, but they had other things to think about, things that had been promised earlier.
“I am staying tonight because I want to,” she said. “And remember, you promised to fuck me tonight.”
“You used the f word outside the bedroom,” he said, his voice dark. She found she rather liked it like that.
“You’re right, I did.”
“You’re a naughty girl,” he said. “Do you remember what you’re supposed to wear in the bedroom?”
“Leather and silk,” she said. “But the robe is a little dirty from last night. I will need to wash it.”
“My staff has already taken care of that,” he said.
“Then tell the driver to hurry because I don’t think I can wait much longer.”
Julian rapped on the carriage’s roof and the horses picked up speed.
Alice cuddled against him, safe in the knowledge that the man who held her so closely loved her, and that no harm would ever come to her while she was in his arms.
Chapter 10
She was naked, and tied to a bed. Well, maybe naked wasn’t the best word for it. She wore the black robe, although she wasn’t sure if it was the one she’d worn last night. When she’d come into the bedroom, Julian had directed her to the drawer where her “bedroom attire” was stored.
There was only the one pair of cuffs, or should she say two, one for her wrists the other for her ankles. But there were five robes.
“Do you plan on soiling them that often?” she asked.
“It’s a possibility,” he said. “Now, hurry up and change. I don’t like to be kept waiting.”
“Grumpy tonight,” she’d said under her breath as she started to undress. Then she’d been ordered to the bed; and now, she was lying there, spread eagle, her arms and legs tethered to the headboard and footboard.
It amazed her how easily she’d fallen into this sort of thing. She was sure her mother would never have talked to her about being bound to a bed if she were still alive. She snuffled just a little and looked over to where Julian sat in a chair reading a book.
She was naked and he was reading?
“Have I done something wrong?” she asked. “Is this some sort of punishment?”
Alice pulled on her bonds but they didn’t seem to loosen at all.
“I’m just at the good part,” he said, holding up the book. “It won’t be a moment.”
His words were like a slap in the face. “Are you serious?”
“Quite,” he replied as he turned the page.
Tears stung the back of her eyes. She’d heard about men losing interest in the women in their lives, but for him to do it now, before they’d even married? How could that be?
“Quite fascinating,” he said.
“I’m so happy you’re enjoying it,” she said in a shaky voice. “But I can’t believe I’m lying here naked and you’re ignoring me.”
“Oh, but this book is fascinating,” he said. She couldn’t help but notice he ignored the last part of her statement.
“Listen to this part.” He cleared his throat. “Her quim was quite bare of hair, each one having been shaved off with expert precision. He ran his fingers along her bare skin before he pulled back his hand and slapped her intimate flesh. She cried out in pain and he laughed and slapped it again, and yet one more time. She begged him to stop but he knew there was nothing for it. He slapped that flesh again and again until it was a bright, rosy red and tears flowed from her eyes.”
The tears that had threatened to fall from Alice’s eyes suddenly dried. He was not ignoring her, he was playing with her.
“Julian,” she said as she tugged on her legs.
“I would love to do that to you, Alice, to watch you squirm as I turn your cunny that bright, rosy red the author describes.”
She looked over to where he sat. He was still looking down at the book.
“When it was done, when her flesh looked as if it had been painted bright red, I turned my attention to her nipples. I twisted and turned them until she cried out, begging me to stop, and then I pinched and pulled on them even harder.”
Finally, he looked up from his book and smiled at her. “I would love to see the look on your face if I pulled on your nipples, Alice.” He closed the book and set it on the small table next to the chair. “Tell me, how do you think it would feel?”
“Painful,” she said. She couldn’t help but pull on her bonds again. The idea of being in pain was not something she wanted to think about.
“But pain can turn into pleasure,” he said. “The body reacts to stimulation in different ways, depending on how the mind feels.”
He got up and walked toward the bed. As he neared, Alice’s blood seemed to stop flowing. Her arms and legs ached, burned, possibly from being kept in the same position for too long. But that wouldn’t affect her mind which right now spun as if it were the earth on its axis. She was frightened about him pulling on her nipples, about the pain that would come with it.
“Julian,” she said. “I don’t think I can… please, no.”
He sat down on the edge of the bed and put his hand on her belly. “I love looking at you like this.”
“Tied up?” she asked.
“Vulnerable.” He leaned over and kissed her. “In this position I can do anything I want.”
She knew it was true. Last night she hadn’t been frightened, but tonight she felt a bit of fear. No, more than a bit. She was scared of what would happen next.
“I can see it in your expression,” he said.
“What?” she whispered.
“Fear.” He moved his hand onto his lap. “I don’t want you fearful, Alice. I want you to surrender yourself to me in all ways.”
“You can do anything you want to me at this moment,” she said. Her voice shook with her words, and she could tell by the look on his face that he was not happy.
“Only because I have you tied,” he said. “If I release your bonds I have a feeling you would streak out the door, wearing nothing more than the leather and silk that you have on your body right now.”
She didn’t want to admit he was right, so she kept her mouth shut.
“We’ll take it slowly, shall we?” He put his hand on her breast and squeezed gently. She licked her lips when he gently rolled her nipple under his thumb.
“Soft and sweet,” he said.
“Yes,” she said in agreement.
Then he took the nipple between his thumb and forefinger and pinched. She moaned softly and he pinched harder, and then harder still.
“Ouch.”
He laughed and she tried to pull away from his touch.
“Why are you laughing at me?” she asked.
“It just the word ouch,” he said. “It’s something you say when you nick your finger on a knife, or turn your ankle when you’re walking.”
He pinched her nipple again and she uttered, “Ouch.”
“Or it’s something you say when you stub your toe on the foot of the bed.”
He pinched her nipple yet again, harder this time. “That fucking hurts!” she cried out, and this time he laughed.
“Excellent. I’m glad you’re using your imagination now.”
He pinched and she didn’t say another word. He moved his fingers to her other breast and they went through the entire process again. This time,
though, she screamed out on the first pull, hoping it would keep the others from happening. But it did not and he pinched and pulled on it three more times until tears formed in her eyes.
Alice wiggled and tried to get away from him, but the bonds kept her in place, making it impossible for her to move away from his touch.
“Is this slow?” she asked.
For an answer, he got up and went back to the chair. He picked up the book and opened it. She couldn’t help but wonder how many women he’d read this book to, and the green monster of jealousy rose up inside her.
Her nipples ached as his words spilled out.
“She was such a naughty girl, and I couldn’t help but wonder how I could tame her.” He stopped reading and picked up his wine glass. He took a sip and then put his glass down. “But sometimes I wonder why one would want to tame a beautiful creature like this. She squirms and moans when I am inside her, taking me fully into her lush, amazing body.”
Julian took another sip. “She has taken me everywhere, her warm mouth, her wet cunny, and her dark arse.”
Alice couldn’t help the gasp that escaped her throat on that last word. It was obvious to her that he’d picked certain sections of the book to read to her because that was what he planned to do to her.
But she could never allow someone in that place. It wasn’t natural.
A knock on the door disrupted her thoughts.
“We’ll have to save the rest for later,” he said.
“You don’t mean to open the door, do you?” she asked.
“I do,” he said. “It is my friend, Jakes. He’s come to shave your cunny for me.”
“No,” she whispered. “Please, let me go.”
“Never, my pet,” he said. He stood, but he stopped after he took a few steps toward the door. “Alice, I’m sensing you’re not happy with what is about to happen.”
“You’re right, I’m not,” she said. She pulled on her bonds and he moved to the side of the bed and stood there looking down at her.
“You wouldn’t shave your cunny for me?” He stroked the inside of her thigh. “It’s such a little thing to ask for, really.”
His Little Problem (Rakes of Mayfair Book 3) Page 12
