by Lily Harlem
Beep. Beep. Beep.
My heart flipped, and I jumped up. “Shit.” I turned to the control panel. “We better see what that is.”
He reached for the pail of milk and stood. “Shall I put Dolly back in her pen and this into the pasteurizer?”
“Yes, please.” I brushed a few strands of hay from my t-shirt. What the heck am I doing? Only a few hours ago I’d been fucking Mateo. Now I was getting up close and personal with Anki, who I’d only met recently, and thinking about kissing him.
The control panel had alarmed because the temperature had raised a fraction.
“Not surprising,” I muttered as Anki bent over to tickle Dolly behind her ears. “That it’s getting hot in here.”
“What was that?” he asked.
“Er, nothing much.” I paused. “She likes you.”
“I like her.” He smiled. “The alarm okay?”
“Yes, come over here when you’ve done that and I’ll show you how to reset it, then you can go and get some breakfast.”
Chapter Five
I parted company with Anki at the canteen. We’d made a plan for him to visit my quarters for coffee tasting in a few hours’ time. As I headed for the bridge, I had a stern talk with myself.
Coffee. That’s all. No kissing. Not even any flirting. No kissing. No flirting. Just coffee.
But again I pondered what it would be like to kiss an Athion? Different to kissing a human? And would he fuck differently? Would his cock be the same? What if it were bigger…much bigger? Would I be able to take it?
“Hey, hun?”
I looked up at the sound of Mateo’s voice.
“Oh, hi.” I smiled.
“You look lost in thought.”
“Er, yes, I was.”
“Thinking of me, right?” He stopped in front of me.
“I…er…”
He laughed and placed his hands onto my shoulders. “It’s okay. You don’t have to lie. I wasn’t expecting you to be thinking of me.”
“I was a bit.” I shrugged and smiled.
“About what I said last night?”
“I guess.”
“I’ve been thinking of it, too.” His face fell serious.
“You have?”
“Yes.”
“And what did you decide?” Now I was curious. Was Mateo up for having a non-exclusive relationship? But if not, should I be grateful to have one good man and settle down? I could do much worse than a handsome pilot.
“I think…that I’ll take whatever you can offer me.”
I waited for him to go on.
“And if you want to make our relationship official but see other men”—he jerked his head back as if indicating the bridge—“then that’s how it will have to be, for now at least.”
“For now.” I paused. “You mean while we’re on board Equinox but not when we dock?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“That it’s wherever we are, and—”
“Because there’s not many of us to choose from up here, right?” He raised his eyebrows.
“No.” I smiled. “And that’s not the point, it’s that I’m not ready to be tied to one person.”
Suddenly he pulled me close, pressing my chest to his and dipping his head. “How about being tied to the bed while I do lots of deliciously wicked things to you?”
I giggled. “Always a good way to pass the time.”
“Remember when I strapped you down and made you beg for your orgasm?”
“That was evil.”
“It was fun.”
“Sadist.” I slapped him gently on the arm.
He kissed me quickly then let me go and stepped away. “I’ll take whatever you want to give me. It can be on your terms, Uma. All I know is I want you.”
I nodded, and it felt as though a weight was being lifted from my shoulders.
He took two paces backward. “Just be careful with him, okay?”
“Who?”
“You know who.” He gestured to the bridge. “And I’ll see you later.”
He turned and slipped around a corner.
I stared after him.
So that was it? I officially had a boyfriend. I’d been hooking up with Mateo for a long time, and there’d never been any pressure to label what we had.
So why now?
Is it because he’s falling in love with me?
Which wasn’t an abhorrent idea. Not by a long shot. He was very loveable and he already owned a piece of my heart.
I sighed and continued to the bridge. It was going to be a long six months if I felt this confused the entire time.
The bridge had to be manned continuously for the first twenty-four hours after takeoff and then the twenty-four hours before docking. Other than that, the on-board computer took control with just a daily set of checks from the pilots. But there had to be two of them—any major problems required two sets of hands and brains to solve.
As we were still in the first twenty-four hours, I figured Gavyn would be there. Which was fine, I just wanted to collect a book I’d left beside my seat during takeoff.
When I reached the doorway, I paused and peered through the glass porthole.
Gavyn was sitting at the center desk with his head propped in his hands. His back was stooped and his shoulders hunched. I couldn’t see his face.
Is he exhausted? And if so, why isn’t Mateo relieving him?
I jabbed the button to open the vacuum-sealed door. It slid wide with a soft hiss.
Gavyn didn’t look up. I guessed he hadn’t heard the low noise.
I walked up to him, my shoes silent on the floor. Uncertainty roiled through me. This was clearly a private moment.
Or is he sleeping like that?
I raised my hand, hesitated for a second, then touched his shoulder.
He started, breath catching in his throat, and turned to me. His cheeks were damp, and a red tinge stained his lower eyelids.
“Gavyn.” Quickly I sat on the bench next to him. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He turned away and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Clearly something is.” Gavyn Rivers was a man in control of everything around him. Efficient, sharp-thinking, and stoic. But that wasn’t what I saw now. Now he was unsettled, sad…vulnerable even. “Is there something I can do?”
“No. Forget it.” He twisted away so I was left staring at his back. In all the time I’d spent with him, never had I seen his ultra professional mask slip this way. It was both disconcerting and intriguing.
It was then I spotted a small photograph on the table. It was of a woman with curly black hair, a wide smile, and sparkling green eyes. I picked it up. “Who’s this?”
His eyes narrowed, and he reached for it. But without taking it, he let his hand fall to the table with his fist clenched. He blew out a breath—it seemed to take the energy from him—and sagged like a deflated balloon.
“Gavyn,” I said, again hesitating before I touched him. But I did, resting my hand on his upper arm. His biceps were hard and wide beneath his white pilot shirt. “Talk to me.”
He twisted his head, and a lock of his black hair fell forward, half covering his left eye.
I’d known Gavyn nearly as long as I’d known Mateo and had never seen him like this. I’d only just have put him in the friend zone because he was always so consummately professional. His emotions were usually locked up tight. His conversations were about little other than the ship, space, and the struggle on Earth.
“Only if you want to talk about it,” I said, feeling scrutinized under his surveillance, even though he was the one clearly uncomfortable. “I mean…we’ve got six months so…you know…plenty of time.”
“Her name is Nicole.”
I nodded. “Pretty name.” And a pretty girl. Now wonder Gavyn was missing her. He was clearly in love, and his heart was breaking at their forced separation.
“Her name is Nicole Rivers.”
“Oh.” I lifted
my hand from his arm. “Rivers.”
He took the picture, held it for a moment, then set it on the table again. “She’s beautiful, right?”
“Very.” I studied the picture some more. She had the same shaped nose and brow as Gavyn. “Your sister, right?”
“Yes.” He swallowed, the sound loud in the silence.
“And she’s…” I tensed, unable to say the next word.
“Not dead. No.” He frowned and clenched his fists. He drew them to his lap and hunched forward again as though in physical pain. His face hovered over the photograph. “She’s been taken.”
I drew in a sharp breath. My heart did a flip, and my stomach contracted. “Taken?” I whispered.
He nodded and tensed his jaw. Beneath his dusting of stubble, a tendon flexed.
“When?” I asked.
It could so easily be me.
“Two months ago. I was…”
“We were on a flight?”
“Yes.” He sat upright again and stared straight ahead. “And if I hadn’t been, if I’d—”
“You still likely wouldn’t have been able to do anything. They’re cunning bastards. They look like heaven wrapped up in a rainbow and sprinkled with goddamn fairy dust. They seduce with their smiles, their words, their perfect bodies, and then…”
“Then…?”
“Then that’s it.”
“You sound like you’ve had experience.”
It was something I’d only discussed with a few people. The memories came as panic-inducing flashbacks if it was mentioned too often. “Maybe I’ll tell you about it another time.”
“Is that how you met Mateo?” Gavyn asked. “I’ve often wondered.”
“Like I said, I’ll tell you another time.” I nodded at the picture. “Tell me more about Nicole.”
He sighed, but it ended on a judder as though he were only just holding it together. “She’s two years younger than me. An incredible portrait artist, she could capture anyone’s likeness with her pencils.”
“Could?”
“Can. Can.” He wrapped his hands behind the back of his neck, his elbows coming together in front of his face. “She’s still alive but would she be better off dead?”
“No. Don’t think that way. Where there’s life there’s hope.” I placed my hand on his arm again.
“Would you think that if you were her?” He slumped. It was as if his emotions were on a string and going from furious to desolate ten times a second.
“I don’t know. All I can say is I’m glad I’m here.”
“That’s just it. You’re on a goddamn ship, hurtling through space at hyper-speed with four guys, a bunch of sleepers, and a herd of goats, and it’s still better than being on Tradrych.”
I shrugged. “I’m okay with being on board. Like you, I signed up for this job.”
“Yeah, you’re right, I’m sorry.” He tutted. “I just feel so helpless. She’s stuck there, forever. She’s just a womb to them, nothing more. How can I do anything to help when they’re so clever, so cunning? I’m powerless to save her. There’s nothing I can do and there never will be.”
“Maybe things will change.” I studied his eyes. They were misting. He had unspent tears. “Perhaps a way will become clear. Maybe the boffins in the observatories will figure out how to get the enslaved Earth women back from Tradrych. For all we know the International Government could be working on a deal right now.”
He nodded and pressed his lips together. A single tear escaped his left eye and trickled down his cheek.
“Oh fuck. Come here.” I reached for him, my heart squeezing as I witnessed his pain.
He melted into my arms, and I cradled him. Our big, tough captain was being torn apart with grief. I did my best to hold him together when a sob released. He ducked and pressed his face against my breasts as though he didn’t want to me to see his tears.
I murmured soothing words and rocked left to right very slightly. “You have to believe in hope.” I slid my fingers through his strands of hair. “While you have hope, all is not lost.”
After a few minutes, he sat and took my hands in his. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…you know.”
“Jeez, don’t apologize. Your sister has been kidnapped by bastard aliens. If you didn’t feel pain and—”
“Fury.”
“Exactly, if you didn’t feel pain and fury you wouldn’t be normal.”
He nodded, and his jaw tensed. His eyes were clearer now. He was becoming the cool, efficient captain again. “Thank you.”
“Not necessary.”
“It is.” He turned my hands over and studied my palms. “We’ve flown together twice now, right?”
“We have.”
“I’m sorry if you think I’ve been a little cool.”
“I don’t think that.” Perhaps tepid rather than cool. He kept a distance but was never actually rude.
“You’re very gracious, but I’ve been called that before.”
“So why are you that way?”
He looked up at me. “Classic example of a kid whose parents had an acrimonious divorce. I had to bottle my feelings up. Trouble was, they went in that damn bottle and stayed there. It’s not often I take the lid off.”
“Maybe you should more often.”
“Sometimes there’s no choice. Like just then. Consider it a cork flying out of a bottle that’s been shaken.”
I smiled. “Great analogy.” Leaning forward, I set my hand on his warm cheek. “But for the record, I’m here if ever you want to talk. I have no solutions to this situation, but getting it off your chest can only be a good thing. We’ve got a lot of hours to pass up here. You’ll go crazy with worry and anger if you keep it locked in. It will be more than a cork flying, it will be a nuclear meltdown.”
“Thanks, Uma, I appreciate that.” He tipped his head into my palm and pressed his hand over mine. He closed his eyes for a couple of seconds. When he opened them again, he took a deep breath and stood.
I dropped my arm to my side and looked up at him.
“And now,” he said, his voice brisk again. “I have work to do.” He nodded at my takeoff seat. “You left your book.”
“Yes. I know. That’s what I came for.”
He walked up to the control desk which was covered in screens and keyboards.
He moved with long-limbed grace and efficiency, and for the first time I appreciated how hot a body he had. Perhaps it was because he’d finally let me in and allowed me to see beyond the armor. I wasn’t simply seeing a pilot anymore. I was seeing Gavyn Rivers, capable, calm, intelligent, and also a man in pain.
There was nothing I could do to change his situation or that of his sister. But I could be there for him to talk to and offer a shoulder to cry on.
I just hoped he wouldn’t clam up again and revert to his usual aloof demeanor. Because now I knew what lay beneath, and he was a volcano waiting to erupt. I had no intention of getting in the way of that pyroclastic flow.
Chapter Six
I set two mugs on the shelf and waited for Anki to arrive. Magic was out of his cage and flitting around. He was enjoying stretching his wings and whenever he landed he rattled off some of the one hundred plus words he knew.
I brushed my hair and let it fall around my shoulders, then added a squirt of perfume and a slick of lip balm.
Glancing at the door, then my watch, I passed a few minutes by tapping on my in-room screen to ensure all was well in the livestock pens. It was.
Just as I was wondering about settling down to read with a coffee, there was a knock at my door.
“Hey,” I said, pulling it open. “Come in quickly, Magic is out of his cage.”
“He is?” Anki stepped in holding a packet of chocolate cookies.
“Yes.” I shut the door.
Anki looked upward at where Magic had perched on the highest spot, a white metal bar which ran horizontally from the wall to the mid-room light. “Hurin would have a fit if he escaped and got into the sl
eepers’ pod.”
“Tell me about it.” I picked up the coffee pot. “Luckily, though, Magic doesn’t have a security pass, so he wouldn’t be able to get in through the two sealed doors.”
“True.” He set the cookies down. “I hear these go well with coffee.”
“You heard right. Thanks.” I appreciated him sharing his sugar rations. We were only allowed to bring a certain amount on board, sugar doing such damage to human health. “Try this. It’s Columbian.” I handed him a mug of black coffee.
“Thanks. Here’s hoping it gives me a kick up the butt and makes me lively.”
“Lively. Lively. Lively.” Magic flew down from his perch and landed on the top of his cage.
A single bright red feather fluttered to the floor and settled at Anki’s feet.
“Oh dear.” He stooped to pick it up. “Is he ill?”
“No, not at all. He loses feathers from time to time. He’ll grow more. You can keep that one if you want to.”
“I can?”
“Sure.”
Anki smiled and slipped the feather into the breast pocket on his tunic.
“Try your coffee.”
He did as I’d asked, rolling his lips in on themselves as if concentrating on the lingering flavor.
“What do you think?” I asked, taking a sip of my own.
“It’s tangy, not bitter, but strong.”
“That’s why I like this one. I don’t like an aftertaste. This one does the job without that.”
“Mmm.” He had another sip. “Maybe I’ll get used to it.”
“I have a good supply in here. You’re welcome to share it.”
“Thank you.” He placed the mug down and picked up the cookies. “Want one?”
“Yes, please.”
“Yes, please. Yes, please. Yes, please.” Magic bobbed his head and eyed the bright yellow wrapper on the cookies.
Anki laughed. “Can he have one?”
“No, but I’ll give him a few crumbs of mine, otherwise he’ll squawk until our eardrums burst.”
“That doesn’t sound good.” He handed me a cookie. “I’m quite fond of my eardrums.”
Magic let out an ear-piercing shriek.
“Ouch!” I frowned at him as I broke off a few crumbs. “Don’t do that.”
