He waggled his eyebrows at me. “You used to like my dick,” he said suggestively.
I groaned. Why did I ever fall for that? Brady was so much better. Except for the fact that he didn’t want to sleep with me. Cade wasn’t a good lover, not even a little, but at least he wanted me. Even if it was just for sex.
Brady… I didn’t know what Brady wanted. For someone who said he couldn’t control himself around me he seemed to do a damn good job of keeping control. Not once had he lost it and let things go further than a little touching. Hell, he hadn’t even taken his pants off yet. Nothing like bouncing from one shitty boyfriend to another to make me think I wasn’t wanted.
No, that wasn’t fair to Brady. He wasn’t a shitty boyfriend. He was a great boyfriend. He just took things a lot slower than I’d ever gone with anyone. It wasn’t bad, right?
Brady was before us, looking back and forth between me and Cade, before I responded to Cade’s crude comment. “Who’s this?” Brady asked with a growl.
Cade looked up at Brady and his eyes went wide before he jumped to his feet. “I’m Cade. Who are you?”
“I’m Brady, her boyfriend.”
Cade looked Brady up and down then broke into a laugh. He howled, clutching his stomach and bending over as though that was the funniest thing he’d heard. Ever.
“This is a joke, right? Did you pay this guy, Sam? Is he a date for hire?”
I sat there baffled and horrified. Everyone near us turned to watch, looking at me and no doubt believing Cade’s accusation. On stage the band was talking to the audience so even their music wasn’t drowning out Cade’s lies.
“Excuse me?” Brady asked, his eyes narrowing. He set our drinks down on the blanket and clenched his fists at his sides.
“Why would a meathead like you date a fat ass like her? Oh, wait, no I understand. You know how good she is in bed, right? She’s a tiger, isn’t she. Damn good fuck as long as you keep the lights off so you don’t have to see all of her fat skin rolling around. And as long as you keep your hands on the good parts.”
Oh. My. God. He did not just say that. In public. Hundreds of people just heard him. I looked around and saw people whispering behind their hands and snickering. They knew he was right. I wasn’t special. I wasn’t someone every guy wanted.
Hell, I wasn’t someone any guy wanted.
When he’d first said those words to me I nearly died. It ripped my heart out to listen to the guy I thought I could have been falling for tell me he didn’t want me anymore because he found someone skinnier, someone hotter, someone who didn’t make him feel sick. He said he just wanted to know if the rumors were true that ‘all fat chicks were good in bed.’
It never occurred to me that he only touched my breasts and between my legs when we were together, the good parts he said. He never ran his hands over my skin like he couldn’t get enough of me, the way Brady did. Every touch from Cade was calculated, a careful dance to make sure he had a good time in bed disguised in giving me pleasure. Pleasure that really wasn’t ever that good.
That’s why I changed myself. Why I joined Dave’s Gym. I didn’t want to be a fat chick anymore. Cade’s words haunted me. I knew they would forever. No matter how much weight I lost I would still think of myself as a fat chick. But I could try. Maybe one day I thought I could find a man who wasn’t so focused on appearance, someone who cared more about what was inside than the package it came in.
“How would you know anything about her?” Brady growled, drawing my attention back to the two men in front of me. “Who are you?”
Cade glanced at me. “I see you’re close, huh babe? You didn’t even tell your ‘boyfriend’ about me,” the bastard actually used air quotes. He focused his attention back on Brady. “I’m her ex. We broke up a couple months ago. Well, I broke up with her because I met the hottie behind me,” he nodded toward the blonde on the blanket. “Upgraded, you know.”
Cade was laughing when Brady’s fist smashed into his face. His head flew back and led his way to the ground. He landed with a soft thud, stunned but conscious. I screamed. The blonde screamed. Cade just looked pissed.
“If you know what’s best for you, you’ll stay on the fucking ground,” Brady commanded him. “As for Sam… I don’t ever want to hear of you speaking to her again. You are to stay away from her. If I find out you called her, visited her, looked at her on the street, anything. I won’t stop with one punch. This woman is beautiful, inside and out, and if you’re too fucking stupid to see that then I’m glad, because it means I got a shot with her. I might fuck it up, I probably will, but I will never treat a woman the way you do.”
Brady glanced at me and softened just slightly before focusing his attention back on Cade. I almost laughed at the terrified expression on his face. His cheek was bruised and swelling already, but there was no blood.
“You are the sort of man who makes the rest of us look bad. You don’t deserve to have a woman on your arm, and if this one,” Brady nodded toward the blonde, “has half a brain she’ll dump your sorry ass for being a piece of shit. But know this… you won’t steal another second from us. Sam didn’t tell me about you because you don’t matter. You didn’t matter before and you sure as fuck don’t matter now. So stop trying to act like you do. Now, I suggest you leave here before I change my mind about stopping with one punch.”
Cade looked at me fearfully then scrambled across his blanket. He shoved the blonde to the side so he could get the blanket balled up and grabbed the bag he’d brought. She complained that she wanted to watch the concert, but he ignored her and dragged her away. He glanced back once and Brady took a step forward, forcing Cade’s eyes away and his feet to move faster.
Slowly chatter around us got louder and people started clapping and whistling. A few guys clapped Brady on the back, but he didn’t look at any of them. His eyes were locked on me.
“Are you okay?” he finally asked.
I nodded, unable to speak around the massive lump in my throat and the tears stinging my eyes. I knew if I said anything I would lose it.
“Do you want to go?”
I nodded again, anxious to get away from so many prying eyes. They might be acting nice, but sharing my most humiliating moment with hundreds of strangers was not my idea of a fun evening.
Brady picked up our stuff, leaving the drinks he’d bought. I focused on getting the hell out of there. When we got to his Jeep Brady threw everything in the back while I climbed in, ashamed and shocked. For a fleeting second I wondered if I should be afraid of Brady, but I knew that was crazy. Brady wasn’t dangerous, not to me. If he hadn’t stood up for me I would have questioned why I was with him. Instead he took out Cade with one swing and I’d never have to deal with him again.
Brady got in the car and turned the key, cranking up the air conditioning, then turned in his seat. “Come here,” he said, pulling me to him.
The center console dug into my side, but I didn’t care. Brady’s arms closed around me and I lost it. Everything I’d hid, all the fears I’d buried, all the shame I’d felt, all the anger I’d carried… all of it poured out.
I sobbed against his strong chest, my tears soaking through his shirt. His hands rubbed up and down my back and his heart beat a steady rhythm under my ear. I let out everything I’d been holding in for weeks. I hiccuped my breath and kept crying, unable to stop once I’d started.
Brady was my rock. He held me as close as he could. He was turned at an odd angle and I knew his back had to be killing him. I tried to pull back but he wouldn’t let me, keeping my face against his chest. He had my head tucked under his chin and he kissed my hair, whispering kind words as I cried.
When I could breathe again I eased back. Brady let me but didn’t let go of me. I couldn’t face him. I looked down, keeping my eyes from his, unsure and afraid of what I’d find there.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked quietly, brushing hair back from my face. I knew he was trying to get me to look at him, but I d
idn’t have it in me. Men never liked to talk about feelings or listen to a woman cry. He was just asking to be nice.
I shook my head, still not looking at him. “Look at me, Sam,” he said.
I finally met his eyes and challenged him. “I know you don’t really want to hear about it. Men hate when we cry. I’ll be fine.”
“I thought we’d just established that I’m not like other men. Are you afraid of me now?” he asked, sounding ashamed.
“What? No. Why would I be afraid of you?”
He cocked an eyebrow at me as though the answer were obvious.
“Okay, I thought about it for, like, a second, but no Brady. You were defending me, for some unknown reason. I know you’d never hit me.”
“Good. I’d never be able to live with myself if I scared you. Now why don’t you tell me about that asshole.”
I shook my head again. “You really don’t want to know.”
“Yes, I do.”
Tears burned my eyes again and I shook my head. “Maybe I don’t want you to know. I don’t want you to think differently of me.”
“That’ll never happen. Sam, I promise you. His opinion of you doesn’t matter. I just want to know if I need to go kill him.”
I huffed out a small laugh. “No, you don’t need to kill him. He’s just a jerk.” I shrugged, feeling the floodgates opening back up. Tears pricked my eyes as I said, “I thought he was a good guy. He sweet talked me. We met at a wedding I was working on. He was drunk, but I didn’t know it until later. We slept together and started seeing each other. We’d only ever go to his place, never out, and I had a roommate. We’d have sex and sometimes I’d spend the night, but I never realized what a jerk he was.”
Tears trickled down my face and Brady kissed them away. “He doesn’t deserve you, Sam. You’re not the one who’s wrong here, he is. He didn’t know what a good woman he had. Can I ask you a question?”
I nodded.
“Did you join Dave’s Gym to try to get him back?”
I bit my lip. I wouldn’t lie to Brady, but I didn’t want him to think less of me. “Sort of. He’s right. I don’t know why any man would be interested in getting up close and personal with my wobbly body. I decided I wasn’t going to let anyone else make me feel like he did so I joined the gym. But it wasn’t to get him back. I never wanted him back. I just wanted to make him regret what he said. I don’t still want him.”
“I’m pretty sure he’s regretting it right about now,” he said, trying to hide a smirk. Then turned serious. “I shouldn’t have hit him.”
“He’s an asshole. He deserved it,” I laughed, relaxing for the first time since Cade sat down next to me.
Brady gave me a half smile that I could tell he didn’t really feel.
“Hey,” I said softly. “It’s no big deal. Thank you. It meant a lot to me to have you come to my defense.”
Brady shrugged. “I shouldn’t have lost control. All I could see was your face and I knew he was hurting you and I just wanted it to stop. I wanted him to stop so I made him. I just… I should have been able to control myself.”
I rested my hand on his arm and waited until he looked at me. “Why is being in control so important to you? What are you afraid of?”
His eyes held mine and I could sense the depths that his control went. He needed it, more than anything else in his life, he needed control.
“I just need to be in control. But right now I need you. Will you come home with me tonight? Will you stay with me?”
Twenty-Two
Gulp.
This was it. The moment I’d been waiting for. The look in his eyes was unmistakable. Brady wanted sex. With me. Tonight. Holy fuck. I was freaking out.
I wanted him. That wasn’t the question. But my emotions were raw. If something happened I wasn’t sure I’d recover.
It was Brady. I trusted him. He wanted me. I could do it.
I nodded and Brady let out a deep breath. I sucked one in and settled back into my seat while Brady shifted into drive and tore out of the parking lot. He sped through town, weaving in and out of the light traffic, until he got to Dave’s Gym. He threw the Jeep into park and scrambled out. He grabbed the stuff from the back and let us in the side door that went straight to his apartment.
Inside Lucky danced around us, nuzzling at our hands and barking. I crouched down and gave him a full body rub while Brady put things away. Brady came back and pulled me away from his dog. “Lucky can play later. Right now it’s my turn,” he said with a panty-melting grin. Then he turned a stern face to the dog and said, “Stay.”
Lucky’s butt dropped to the floor but his tail kept wagging. He looked after us with a cocked head as Brady dragged me toward his bedroom.
I’d been in his apartment but never into his bedroom. I glanced around for a second, but Brady was on me in a flash. His hands closed around me and his lips pressed against mine. His mouth was soft but firm on mine, letting me feel what he was feeling. His tongue worked my lips and darted inside when I opened for him. He tasted like his usual freshness with a hint of the Coke he’d been drinking.
“I need you, Sam. I want you. Will you let me have you?” he asked softly with our foreheads pressed together.
His breath fanned over my face. His heart was pounding beneath my palm and I knew that was it. The chance I’d been waiting for. He said he wanted me, he’d been showing me for more than a month. God knew I wanted him, too.
I just needed the courage to go through with it. Brady wasn’t the sort of guy I ever imagined myself with, but I trusted him. He’d hit Cade in my defense. He was there for me. And he wanted me. He’d already seen me naked.
“Yes, Brady. I want you too.”
His lips were on mine again, slowly kissing me breathless and boneless. His hands slid up and down my back, but mine stayed around his neck. I didn’t know what he could handle, how he needed to keep control, and didn’t want to push him. I knew if I did it would be over. He’d never forgive me for going back on that promise.
Even if I had no idea what he was so afraid of.
Brady’s lips left mine and trailed down my neck. I struggled to breathe and regain some measure of sanity. Until his lips hit the edge of my neck on the way to my shoulder. That spot, that little dip just inside my collarbone, did crazy things for me. Brady paused there, I don’t know if he knew what he was doing or not, but he paused there.
His tongue ran along my skin and my arms tightened around his neck. His teeth came out to play and nipped at me and my panties flooded. When he suckled my skin with open-mouthed kisses I couldn’t stop the moan that fell from my lips or the bow of my body against his.
He was hard against my stomach. I wanted to touch him, to see him, to feel him. I held back, knowing how quickly other men lost it, but felt frustrated that I couldn’t find a way to make the experience good for Brady without worrying about him losing control.
His hands drifted under my shirt and slid the fabric up, exposing my back to the cool room. Goosebumps covered my flesh, both from Brady and the air. He continued to feast on my neck, switching to the other side at some point, and making me forget all my concerns.
My hands fell from his neck and reached out to him. Desperate to feel him, I cupped his erection through his jeans and all my anxieties came back. He was big. Not just normal big, but huge big. I could tell by the more than a handful I got that he was a good length, but besides that he was thick. I really didn’t think he’d fit.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling back and sensing something was going on.
“Um… I don’t think I’m big enough.”
“Sam, you’re perfect. Please don’t tell me you’re fat again. That fucker was wrong. Every last bit of you is beautiful.”
I smiled, grateful he was so kind, but still freaked out. “Thanks, but, um, that’s not what I’m talking about. I don’t think I’m big enough for you to fit. Because, um, you feel huge.”
Brady looked down between us to where
my hand was still holding his erection. “Oh,” he mumbled. “We can stop if you want. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He started to pull away, disappointment reflected in his eyes. I grabbed his hand and wouldn’t let him go. “We’ll take it slow, just like everything else.”
“Sam, I don’t want to hurt you,” he reiterated.
I shook my head. “You won’t. I promise. We’ll go slow and if it’s too much we’ll stop. Rumor has it babies can come out of there. I’m sure you can go in.”
Brady smiled at me, but I knew we were both a little more anxious with the new revelation. My hands trembled against him, but he didn’t show any fear. Brady was as controlled as ever.
His hand slid under my shirt again, his eyes locked on mine, and he pulled it up and over my head. Watching me the whole time, Brady rested his hands on me. I flinched at the contact as his hand touched my belly, the flabbiest part of me. Instead of pulling away, he glided over me, the softest hint of skin against skin.
I finally looked down and saw his lightly tanned hand against the never-seen-sun-white of my belly. Even with the lights off in his room, I could see him touching me clearly. I knew it wouldn’t be long before he went to my breasts, ass, or settled between my legs. Getting to the good parts was crucial, and all that mattered to men.
“Every inch of you is a good part,” he said quietly, reading my thoughts. “I’m going to worship your body tonight. Making sure you know exactly how much I want you. You’re never going to doubt, ever, that I want you.”
My body went up in flames at his words and the conviction in his voice. I had a lot of inches so we could easily be there all night if Brady was going to praise them all. Oh, shit, he dropped to his knees in front of me and kissed my belly.
“Brady, you don’t have to.”
He looked up at me, his eyes hazy and unfocused. “I want you. Every inch of you,” he said between kisses.
My nipples got painfully hard and I ached between my legs, especially with him so close. His hands rested gently on my hips and he kissed my entire belly, letting his tongue get into the action and even his teeth a little bit.
Fat & Fine (Big & Beautiful Book 5) Page 17
