by Kris Jett
Luci’s mind followed the line of thought she sensed her sister was on and she shook her head vigorously. “Not hurt,” she choked out.
“Okay, then sit here on the couch and I’ll make you some tea. Try to catch your breath and when you’re ready, tell me what’s going on.” Jessie pulled a cozy blanket from a basket next to the couch, and wrapped it around Luci before heading to her kitchen to put on the tea.
Luci was grateful for the blanket and held it tight around her, wanting to hide from the world. She was upset with herself for being so emotional and probably frightening her sister. But she didn’t know where else to go. She knew she couldn’t go home and she had to talk to someone. She felt like the worst person in the world.
Luci’s mind raced. Maybe Jessie wasn’t the best person to talk to about her situation. Then again, she had a long experience with Luci and knew exactly how horrible she could be so maybe that was what drove Luci to her sister’s apartment. Maybe subconsciously she knew if she went to Jessie, Jessie would let her have it good like she deserved.
Jessie walked back into the room carrying two mugs of tea in her hands and a box of chocolate chip cookies stashed under one arm. She set everything on the coffee table and then sat down next to her sister on the couch. “Are you read to talk?” she asked gently.
Luci took a deep breath and then forced her eyes to meet Jessie’s. “I did an awful thing.”
Jessie’s eyes flashed with concern. “What did you do? Do we need to get a lawyer?”
“No, it’s nothing like that. I just messed up again. Like I always do. Typical Luci,” Luci said, disgusted with herself.
“What do you mean, Luci? You’re going to have to give me more than that.”
“Becca had a date tonight. With Evan.”
Jessie looked surprised. “She did? Why?”
“Because she wanted to. And he must have wanted to take her out also. So, they went on a date.”
“And you’re the one who set them up then? Because you’ve been hanging around with him lately.”
“Yeah. I sort of did, I guess.”
“I’m confused. How does that make you an awful person?” Jessie picked up her tea and took a sip.
Luci cast her eyes downward. “Because I just slept with him.”
Jessie spit out her mouthful of tea and almost dropped her mug. “What?”
Luci sighed heavily and settled back against the couch. She’d have to start at the beginning and explain everything.
After Luci finished recounting all that had happened with her and Evan over the last couple of weeks, including their recent lovemaking, she looked at her sister and waited for the verbal-lashing she knew she deserved. But Jessie just stared at her. “Well?” Luci said. “Don’t you want to tell me how evil I am and how I’ll never change? How I’m a terminal man-stealer and no woman should ever trust me in a room alone with their boyfriend or husband?”
Jessie smiled sadly at her sister. “Oh, honey, no, that’s not true. You have changed. You didn’t steal Becca’s boyfriend. It doesn’t sound like he was hers to begin with.”
Luci shrugged. “I don’t think Becca would see it that way.”
Jessie considered this. “Maybe,” she said. “Or maybe not. You won’t know until you talk with her.”
“You think I should tell her what I did? She’ll never speak to me again. I’ve ruined our friendship.”
Jessie considered this. “Well, there is a chance of that, that’s true. But I think you have to be honest with her and just lay your feelings out there. You have to take a shot at happiness.”
Luci’s eyes flicked up to her sister’s. “What do you mean?”
“It sounds to me like you’re in love.” Jessie smiled affectionately at her sister.
Luci felt a warmth spread across her chest at the word, ‘love.’ She knew it was true.
“If you’re going to try a go at it with Evan,” Jessie continued, “then you need to clear things up with Becca first. Talk to her. Not now, of course. It’s pretty late. Wait until the morning. But then, talk to your friend. Just be honest.”
Luci wrapped her arms around her sister in a hug. “Thanks, Jess,” she said.
Jessie hugged her back. “Any time, sis.”
The next morning Luci woke up and reached her phone. She needed to text Becca and set up a meeting. When she turned her phone on she saw that she’d missed half a dozen phone calls and texts from Evan. Oh no, the thought. She’d really upset him with her running out like that. She’d need to go speak with him, too; but, first things first. She needed to see Becca.
At 10:30 a.m., Luci sat in MoonBeans with a tea in front of her, waiting for Becca to arrive. She was a mess of nerves and couldn’t stop wringing her hands while she waited. When she’d text her earlier, asking to meet, Becca had responded with a “Yes!!!” She said Luci needed to hear the post-date recap. It had made Luci’s stomach plunge. If Becca was into Evan, things would get really bad when she told her what happened. Luci had decided on the way over to MoonBeans that she would make sure she did the talking first. She didn’t want Becca to embarrass herself by talking about some great time she had with Evan to only hear what had happened after their date had ended. It was better she just got out what she needed to say as soon as she saw Becca and then let her curse at her or whatever she needed to do. Luci knew she deserved whatever Becca would say to her.
The bells hanging over the heavy wood door to the warm coffee shop jingled as Becca pushed her way inside and scanned the room, looking for Luci. She waved when she spotted her and rushed over to the table, slipping into seat opposite Luci.
“I am so glad you text me this morning. I was literally dying to talk to you,” Becca said. “What are you drinking, tea? Should I get a tea or a latte? Decisions, decisions.”
Luci could feel tears spring to her eyes and her mind raced. This could be the last time her and her friend ever talked again. Becca could slam out of the coffee shop in five minutes and cut Luci out of her life for good. It’s not like it didn’t happen before when Becca had thought Luci fooled around with her husband.
Luci glanced up from her mug to see Becca staring at her strangely.
“What’s going on with you? Panties pinching? You look like you’re about to cry.”
At this, two fat tears escaped and rolled down Luci’s cheek. Luci brushed at them quickly with the back of her hand. Get it together, she told herself.
Becca gave her a bummed look. “Aw, what happened? I thought we were just going to have a little girl talk but you’re all upset. What’s going on?”
Luci steeled herself and took a deep breath. It was now or never. “Becca,” she begun, “I’m so happy that we’ve rekindled our friendship. I didn’t even know I was missing it so much until I saw you again. And I’ve really enjoyed getting to re-know you as adults.”
Becca’s eyes widened. “Whoa there. You’re being intense. It’s sort of freaking me out.”
Luci pushed on. “I’d hate it if we lost our friendship again because of what I did.”
Becca eyebrows shot up in alarm. “What did you do?”
Luci laced her fingers together on the table and took a long calming yoga breath, in through her nose and out through her mouth. “I slept with Evan.”
Becca’s jaw dropped open. “What? When?”
Luci bit her bottom lip and cringed. “Last night,” she replied in a low voice.
“Before or after our date?” Becca asked, matter-of-factly.
Luci didn’t know why Becca needed more details but she couldn’t not tell her now. “After.”
Becca sat back in her seat and crossed her arms, staring at Luci. And then she begun to laugh.
Luci blinked rapidly. “I-I don’t understand. What’s so funny?”
But Becca kept laughing.
Luci got worried. Was she losing it? Was Becca going to leap across the table and punch her in the face? Or maybe she’d grab Luci’s hot tea and pour it over her head?
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Becca unfolded her arms and wiped at the tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said. “It just makes sense is all.”
Luci suddenly felt crushed. “Oh. That I’m such a horrible person and would do this to you?”
Becca screwed up her face. “Huh? No. It makes sense why my date with Evan sucked so bad. That’s what I was coming to tell you about. There was definitely no love connection there.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Big time suck,” Becca said. “I mean, I’m sure he’s a great guy and he’s hot as hell, don’t get me wrong. Oh wait, you already know that.” Becca started to giggle again.
“I’m—” Luci started and then stopped. She didn’t know what to say.
“Oh!” Becca said. “And he wouldn’t stop talking about you. I mean, literally wouldn’t shut up wanting to know every detail about how we’d met and what you were like as a teen and blah, blah, boring, blah. No offense,” she said, putting a hand up. “But it was bizarre. Only, it makes sense now.”
“So, you’re not mad?” Luci asked, unable to mask the hopefulness in her voice.
“Oh, honey, no. Not at all. You didn’t hurt me. I’m happy if you and Evan want to be together. I just wanted to get out again; get out in the dating world you know? I was just dipping my toes back in. Evan seems like a good guy. He’d be lucky to have you.”
“Really? Oh wow, I can’t tell you how relieved I am,” Luci said, throwing her arms around Becca’s neck and squeezing.
“I’m sorry you were so stressed,” Becca said into Luci’s hair.
“No, I’m sorry I did that to you. I should have told you that I was having feelings for him.”
“Yeah,” Becca said, pulling back to look at her friend. “Why didn’t you? I wouldn’t have wasted my good hair day on him.”
“I’m just an idiot,” Luci said. “But I’m glad you’re not angry with me. And I’m so glad you’re back home.”
“Me too,” Becca replied.
Luci felt relief wash over her. Things were going to be okay. As long as she could still straighten things out with Evan after her freak out from the night before. She had to see him.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Evan had just finished up a meeting with a potential new client and he pulled his phone out of his pocket to check his messages for probably the tenth time that day. Nothing. He set his phone back down and rubbed his eyes with his palms. He didn’t get much sleep the night before, worrying about where Luci was and why she’d rushed out on him like that. He’d gone over their encounter over and over again, for half the night, trying to figure out if he’d done or said something wrong. And he had no conclusions. He didn’t know why Luci had reacted that way to what was one of the most beautiful experiences he’d ever had. He wanted to celebrate it. He wanted to repeat it. It was killing him knowing it had upset her so much.
Evan’s phone buzzed with a new text and he lunged for it. It was from Luci. Finally.
Can we talk?
He typed his reply quickly.
Of course! Name the time and place and I’ll be there.
He pressed send and waited. A moment later there was a reply from Luci.
Is your Aunt Bets in the office today?
He wrote back:
No. She won’t be back until 4, maybe 5pm.
Luci replied,
Can we meet in your office then? Now?
Evan grinned at his phone. He was so happy that he would be seeing Luci very soon and that they would have a chance of getting whatever it was that went wrong all straightened out.
Of course. I’ll be here waiting.
Evan hit send and then set his phone down on the desk and went into the small bathroom to look at himself in the mirror. His hair was a mess. He smoothed it out with his hands as best he could and then splashed some cold water on his face. He didn’t look as put together that day as he’d like to have, but it would do. He’d woken up exhausted and half-hazardly dressed in a scramble to make it to his first meeting on time.
Evan walked back into the small main part of the office and paced the room, waiting for Luci. He watched groups of people pass by the large picture window: couples holding hands, families laughing, and friends swinging their shopping bags, as they strolled up and down Main Street. He remembered how when he’d first moved there, he’d thought that there couldn’t be a quieter, more slow-moving town anywhere else in the country. But now, when he looked out on it, it had somehow changed. It had a special quality to it. It was magical. People wanted to be there. They were happy when they were in Snowy Ridge.
Evan took a seat behind the desk and tried to calm his nerves. His gaze fell onto the floor where he and Luci had just made love less than twenty-four hours ago and he smiled at the memory. It had been both completely unexpected and completely wonderful. Sure, he’d hoped that he and Luci would eventually figure things out and connect but her showing up like that had flipped his world upside down. And he didn’t want to lose that. Whatever had happened afterward, whatever went wrong last night, he was going to fix.
The front door of the office opened and Luci peeked her head in.
Evan scrambled to his feet and walked around the desk toward her. “Come in,” he said. He started to reach his arms out to her but then stopped. His instinct was to wrap her in his arms and hold her close but he still didn’t know what was wrong. He wasn’t sure what he did or if she was angry with him. Instead, he gestured with one hand toward the clients’ chairs in front of the desk. “It’s not the best spot ever, but we can talk here.
Luci slipped off her coat and tossed it on the hat rack near the door before moving toward the chairs and taking a seat in the left one. She wore a crisp, white button-down shirt with dark skinny jeans and tall black boots. Evan thought she looked like she’d stepped right out of a magazine ad.
Evan took a seat in the chair next to Luci and turned so that he was facing her.
She did the same and their knees were almost touching.
Luci’s eyes moved around the room and Evan wondered if she was replaying what had happened last night in her mind, too. She looked nervous and worried but still stunning. Her blond hair fell loose to her shoulders in waves. Her eyes were slightly reddened and he wondered if she had been crying. He felt a pang in his stomach at the thought that he’d done something to make her cry.
He knew one of them would have to start and decided it would be him. “I’m so glad you came back. I was so worried.”
“I know,” she interrupted, finally looking him in the eyes. “I didn’t see all of your texts at first. I didn’t mean to ignore you. I’m sorry I ran out like that. It wasn’t…I mean, I didn’t…” She stopped and took a deep breath.
Evan could see she was having a hard time putting together what it was that she wanted to say to him. He took a chance and reached for her hand, taking it into his. “It’s okay, Luci. I’m so sorry if I did something to upset you.”
“You?” Luci asked, shocked. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. You were perfect. It was me,” she said and her voice wavered. He could see tears spring to her eyes.
Evan’s eyebrows rose. “You?”
Luci nodded. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just shown up here last night like that. I’m so embarrassed. I was so inappropriate and wrong. What kind of person jumps into bed with her friend’s guy? And right after their date? It’s insanity! I don’t know what’s wrong with me sometimes. I keep trying to be a better person and then I turn around and do crazy things like that and hurt the people I care about.”
Evan put a hand out. “Whoa. Back up a second. ‘Her friend’s guy’? I was never Becca’s guy. I don’t even like her.” Evan registered Luci’s shocked look and added, “She’s a perfectly nice woman and all, but she’s not you. I only took her out because you wanted me to.”
A small smile crossed Luci’s lips. “What do you mean, she’s not me?”
Evan took both of Luci’s hands now and interlaced his fingers with he
rs. “Seriously? Can’t you tell? Do I need to be clearer?”
Luci nodded.
This was Evan’s shot. He didn’t know exactly what he was going to say but he hoped whatever came out was right. “Luci Foster, I am so into you. I love being with you and when I’m not with you I’m thinking about being with you and trying to figure out what I can do to make it happen. Again and again. I had thought you didn’t feel the same. I thought you just wanted to be friends and that was why you were pushing me off on Becca. And I’d told myself if all I could ever be was your friend then I would have to be content with that because it was better than not having you at all. But when you showed up last night,” Evan paused and licked his lips, “everything changed. I don’t want to move backward with you; only forward. Move forward with me, Luci.”
Luci’s eyes danced and she opened her mouth to say something but Evan wasn’t finished.
“I’d been floating these past couple of years. I didn’t know where to anchor myself. I didn’t know where I belonged. I’d had this constant, unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach. I came to Snowy Ridge looking for something. I wasn’t sure what it was but I knew I wouldn’t figure it out doing the same thing I was doing. But something was still off. I wasn’t me. In finding you, I found myself.”
“Wow,” Luci said.
Evan searched Luci’s eyes. He’d poured his heart out. It was up to her now.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Luci’s head was a whirl. Was this really happening? Was she finally in the right place at the right time and with the right person? It didn’t seem possible. She was the eternal screw-up. She couldn’t be the one who lived happily ever after, could she?
