“Can I take these off?”
Yep, this was a bad fucking idea.
She tugged my sweatpants and boxers down and I lifted my ass to help her pull them off; after I was back where she wanted me, she rolled to her knees and straddled my legs. Pulling my tee she was wearing off and tossing it aside, her beautiful tits were on full display. It was the second time I’d seen them, but this time I could touch, and I didn’t delay. My hands went up and I cupped both of them. Just like I’d imagined, my hands didn’t cover even half, they were heavy with perfect areolas and nipples that were erect and begging for my mouth.
“Lean down so I can taste you.” Before Violet did what I asked, she started to pull her panties down. “Leave them on.”
As flimsy as the lace material was, I needed a reminder not to take this any further than hands and mouths.
“But…”
“It pains me to have to talk about this while you’re sitting on my lap looking like a goddess, but I don’t have a condom in my go-bag.”
“I’m clean and on the pill. It’s been almost a year.”
Fuck. I had to close my eyes to gather my thoughts. I couldn’t think straight with her in nothing but a sexy pair of blue panties on.
Bad fucking idea.
“It hasn’t been a year for me,” I told her. “I’m always protected but I would never…”
“I understand.” She cut me off and tried to move.
“Stop. You don’t understand.” She continued to try and wiggle off me. I thought about letting her move and putting an end to this insanity. It would’ve been the smart thing to do. I could’ve allowed her to think whatever she wanted and we’d both be saved from making what was sure to be a mistake. But I couldn’t. In some crazy twist of fate, she’d crashed into my life and the thought of her thinking I didn’t want to have sex with her because there was something wrong with her gutted me. “Don’t pull away from me Violet. You started this, so now you’ll hear me out. If after I’m done talking you want to stop we will.”
She stopped moving and stared down at me with her big brownish red eyes. The room was shadowed, the only light was coming from the overhead florescent lights in the other room. If it had been brighter, I knew I would’ve seen the red flecks mixed with the brown.
“I would never put you at risk. I wouldn’t say I sleep around, but in the past, I have engaged in casual sex. Trust me Violet, I don’t want to be having this conversation. I’d much rather have you well on your way to your first orgasm. But I need you to know as much as I’d love to bury my cock inside you, I won’t. Not without knowing I’m safe to do so. So, unless you have a condom somewhere in your bag, all you’re gonna get today are my fingers and tongue.”
Violet shifted and bit her bottom lip, and in a turn of events I didn’t see coming I was now ready to beg her to continue. Whether she’d meant to or not, her movements were grinding the lace of her panties against my already throbbing dick.
“I’m not sure how to do this,” she admitted.
“Baby, you were doing just fine before we stopped to talk,” I reminded her.
“That was before, when I was feeling brave.”
“Do you want to stop? We can lie here and talk awhile.”
“No.” I couldn’t stop the smile that formed at the vehemence in her tone. “I mean, not if you don’t.”
Thank fuck.
“Come down here. I want to taste your mouth before I move on to other things.”
I hadn’t thought about kissing her before now. I’d planned on getting us both off while trying to keep the intimacy at bay. But now that I’d zeroed in on her lips, I didn’t want any barriers between us.
Except a condom, I reminded myself.
Chapter Thirteen
Violet
What the hell was I doing?
When I’d woken up pressed against Jaxon’s side, I don’t know what came over me. Okay, I did know, lust. I rolled over and his chest was bare; all the muscles I’d wondered about were on full display. Every. Last. One.
I couldn’t not touch them. When I spied the tattoo on his side, my hand moved to touch it. I couldn’t see the whole thing, but the American Flag seemed to wave with every breath he took and the eagle that covered some of the red and white stripes was so beautiful I had to touch the colorful ink. It was fitting for a man like Jaxon to be marked with our nation’s symbols. But I didn’t stop there. Without permission my hand made its journey lower.
My sex clenched, and an ache began spurring me on. When his hand grabbed mine and he told me to think before I went any lower, my body caught fire. His voice was deep and sexy and his tight grip on my wrist was not a deterrent. The warning only fueled my desire and when he released my hand and I finally fisted his length. I was ready to explode with excitement.
Now, after our talk, the spell had been broken and I was back to being shy and unsure.
“Violet.” His voice reminded me he’d asked me something.
“Huh?”
“Lean closer so I can kiss you.” That’s right, he wanted to kiss me. I scooted to get comfortable and Jaxon grabbed my hips, his fingers digging into my flesh. “Baby, for the love of Christ, please stay still.”
I looked down at his dick trapped between us. Nothing but my undies separating us. All it would take was pushing them to the side and he’d slip inside of me.
“Don’t even think about it. I’d like to tell you I have iron control, but the truth is I’m skating a fine line. Please have mercy on me.”
My confidence grew at his admission. I was amazed that I could threaten to break this big strong man’s will. I wouldn’t. But knowing I could gave me just what I needed to bend forward. I didn’t need to go very far, just enough for one of his hands to leave my hip and catch me around the back of the neck. He moved the rest of the way and our mouths finally met.
Holy dear God in heaven. The man could kiss. His tongue came out, licked the seam of my lips, and demanded I open. When I did, his tongue pushed in and Jaxon took me on an adventure. Yes, an adventure, with all the twists and turns you’d expect. Hard and demanding, then soft and gentle. His tongue stroked mine, and he sucked and licked and took. It was fucking incredible. By the time he broke the kiss, I was panting and damn near mindless. But when he lifted me and pulled my nipple into his mouth, that’s when things started moving at warp speed. The pull of his lips around my nipple was mind-bending and when he pushed my breasts together, so he could alternate between licking my left nipple and right I lost control.
“Christ woman you have beautiful tits.”
My hips started rocking and the chafing from my panties was sending tiny shockwaves over my body. It didn’t take long for him to push his hips up so I could gain much needed friction. I was so close to orgasming and all we were doing was dry humping like a couple of horny teenagers.
“So fucking hot, Vi,” he growled. “Take it.”
My panties slipped to the side and my wetness coated his dick making it easier for me to glide against him. And when I thought it couldn’t get any better he bit my nipple and bucked up, making the head of his dick grind on my clit sending me over the edge. My body froze as the sensation washed over me and he took over, not stopping his movements. He finally slowed as the aftershocks waned.
“Holy shit,” I shuttered.
My brain slowly reengaged but before embarrassment could take hold he kissed me again. This time it was slow and sweet, like we had all the time in the world to explore each other, but we didn’t, and the thought was depressing.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. You?”
Instead of answering, he rolled us to the side, facing each other, and gently brushed an errant strand of hair off my face. His thumb remained on my cheek, gently grazing my skin, the gesture so sweet it made me want to cry. Why was the universe out to get me? In my thirty-two years I’d never found a man I was so physically attracted to, and was good, and brave, and kind. But I could never hav
e him. I was the opposite of everything he was. I knew it and he knew it. I was going away for the rest of my life and he’d find a woman that was his equal. Life sucked. Really, really sucked. I had to remind myself of all the reasons why I’d betrayed my oath, my brother and all the other men and women who would’ve been harmed. In the end, it was worth it.
“Where’d you go?” he asked.
“What happens now?” Instead of answering, I tried to change the subject.
“Now? We lie here awhile before we get up and shower and find something to eat.” He was being daft on purpose; he knew what I meant. Jaxon sighed but hadn’t taken his hand away from my face. “I’ll tell you if you tell me where you just went. I’ve never seen anyone move from lust to deep concentration so quickly. I have to tell you, that’s a pretty big hit to my ego.”
I tried not to smile at his off-handed remark. I appreciated him trying to lessen some of the awkwardness.
“Please. I don’t think I need to worry too much about your ego. You didn’t even have to touch me to make me have an orgasm.”
“Baby, I was touching you. I believe it was my dick that you were grinding on. And I’m pretty certain it was my mouth playing with your sexy as hell tits while you got off.” My cheeks heated at his crass words. No man had ever talked about sex so bluntly before. And to punctuate his words, his hand moved from my face and his finger circled my hardening nipple. “So responsive. Damn Vi, so fucking sexy. I’m kickin’ my own ass for not thinking about throwing a box of condoms in my bag. Who the fuck needs MREs? I’d gladly go without eating if it meant I could have you.”
“Why couldn’t I have met you a year ago?” I blurted out.
“What do you mean?”
“That’s what I was thinking about. Before. That I met you now and I’m days away from being turned over to the Feds.” I realized how presumptuous and stupid I sounded and quickly tried to correct myself. “I mean, not that you’d want to date me or anything.” With each word I spoke, Jaxon started to close down. I should’ve been happy, but it hurt. I didn’t regret a single second of what we’d done, but nothing would ever come of it. It was best that both of us go back to our proverbial corners and stay away from each other. “Never mind. It’s not coming out right. I just meant I’d never been sexually attracted to anyone like this before. Forget I said anything. What happens later today? Are you guys taking me in?”
Jaxon removed his hand from my breast and I was acutely aware of the fact I was half naked. The awkwardness had grown ten-fold and I wished we were not having this conversation with my breasts on display. He must’ve noticed how uncomfortable I was because he pulled the blanket up, muttering he didn’t want me to get cold. The gesture was welcomed, even if it was under false pretenses.
“Zane already told you, you’re staying with us until we can figure out what Manuel is planning. Today the team, or at least Eric and Zane, will come here. The less you’re seen out in public, the better. Manuel has proven he’ll go to great lengths to take you, and we’re not going to let that happen.”
“Do you really think I was Manuel’s target all along? He wants to use me against Declan?”
“Yes. I think everything else was bullshit. He needed something to hold over you. The Siles / Gomez job was just that, a job. I’m sure he took it because it paid well and played into his plan. I don’t think Manuel Ortega cared one way or the other who came out on top and gained control of drug territory they were fighting over. However, I don’t think Manuel was anticipating you sending the conversations to Gomez though. If you hadn’t, we would’ve tracked Gomez and taken him out.”
“You knew I sent Gomez the files?”
I thought I’d covered my tracks well enough. When I sent the recorded telephone conversations between Siles and his men to Gomez I knew it was a gamble. But one I still had to take. Siles had done a good job pinning the kidnapping of Olivia Cox on Gomez. The Gomez family still had a strong hold in the Bolivian gun and drug trade, but sometimes the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.
“I didn’t know at the time. But I always wondered how Gomez got the intel. When he came to us and gave us the recordings, he wouldn’t say who sent them, if he even knew. After you mentioned you hadn’t deleted them, it made sense you’d be the one to send them to Gomez. Keeping him in power was the lesser of two evils. I’m finding the more I get to know you, I learn you weigh the options. Your decisions are based on what you believe to be acceptable loss. And your belief is the only acceptable loss of life is your own.”
“So, what now?” I asked, still unsure where I fit in.
“Now we figure out why Ortega is after Declan,” he explained.
“But he knows where he is. That’s what I’ve been trying to explain to you all. I saw the video. Timothy and Manuel have eyes on Declan, always have. That is what they used to get me to cave.”
Why was no one listening to me? If Manuel wanted Declan dead, he’d kill him.
“Violet.” Jaxon started. My heart squeezed when he said my name. I wasn’t Vi or baby - I was back to Violet. “He doesn’t want Declan dead.” His features softened, and his hand went back to my face as if his touch could soften the blow. “This is personal for Ortega. He wants Declan to suffer. Knowing he left his sister unprotected and it is his fault she was being drugged and raped is enough to send Declan over the edge. He’d abandon his post and go in search of you. You’d be moved and hidden any time Declan got close. Ortega would have him by the balls. You are Declan’s weakness.”
“How do you know Declan would feel that way? He didn’t leave me unprotected. He doesn’t even know me,” I rejected the idea.
“Because, baby, that’s how any man would feel if a woman he loved was taken. Doesn’t have to be a man’s wife. A sister, a child, a mother. When the women in a man’s life are threatened, it turns any rational man into a savage. He’d stop at nothing to protect what’s his. A man like Declan? A man like me? The world would be torn to pieces. The havoc Declan would cause while he searched for you would be exactly what Ortega would want. He would be so overcome with anger it would ruin him.”
I would stay locked in the basement of this barn without complaint if it meant Manuel couldn’t find me and torture my brother with images of me being raped.
Chapter Fourteen
Jaxon
Violet and I had no soon gotten dressed when the perimeter alarm sounded, signaling we had company. I was surprised when Violet complied without complaint when I told her to go into the closet in the bedroom while I checked the monitors. If need be, the closet could be used as a safe room, one of the many safety protocols Zane had in place.
It only took a minute to confirm it was Zane driving down the long dirt road back to the barn, but I waited before I told Violet it was safe to come out. I wanted to make sure Zane hadn’t been followed. I knew better, but I’d rather be overly cautious than fuck up and risk Violet’s safety.
Now Violet was sitting at the small table eating her second donut. Zane had barely dropped the box on the table before she dug in. She licked the sticky glaze off her lips and I barely suppressed a groan. My poor undrained cock still throbbed, and I prayed I wouldn’t get a hard-on in front of Zane. Remembering the way her tits swayed, the way they tasted, the way she’d used my cock to get off, was too much, I had to look away. There was no way I’d ever scrub those images from my mind. Not that I wanted to.
“What?” I asked Zane when I noticed he was smirking at me.
“Christ.”
“Don’t go there,” I warned. Anything Zane said would only embarrass Violet, and that was the last thing I wanted. “What’d you find?”
He didn’t answer me. Instead, he turned to Violet.
“What can you tell us about Declan?”
“Me? Nothing. I told you I only met him once during his interview,” she answered as she wiped her mouth with a napkin.
“But you read his service file. Do you remember any mission specifics?” Zan
e asked.
Violet was quiet for a moment before she began.
“His record was spotless. Four years after he joined the Marines he put in his packet for FORECON. Obviously, he passed training. His first platoon was green operations or deep reconnaissance. He was with them four years before he switched to black ops and was with a direct-action platoon and was there for almost four years.”
“I know about his service. I’m asking about his missions. Specifically, any missions to South America,” Zane clarified.
“His platoon specialized in jungle warfare; all of his missions were in South America…” She stopped mid-sentence.
“Right. Now you’re catching on. Think about the briefs you read.”
“Holy shit. Why didn’t I see it? Declan spent eighteen months in Brazil. Before he went dark, he did a light cover assignment for the agency. His investigation also led him to Bolivia and Peru.”
“What was the assignment?” I asked.
“The mission name was redacted, as were all names of the operatives, informants, and suspects. I was blind. Basically, all I got from the report was drugs were being smuggled out of Bolivia using human transport.”
“Jesus.” Zane muttered. “Was the cartel name redacted?”
“Yes. Do you think it was Gomez’?” Violet asked. Knowing her, she was probably rethinking allowing him to live. Human transport is a nasty way to smuggle drugs. The person who is being used as a drug mule rarely lived through the experience. The drugs were put into capsules, wrapped in latex, and either had to be swallowed or the bricks are surgically inserted into the stomach. If the bag doesn’t break causing an overdose, the removal of the drugs normally did. Latin America cartels are known for their use of drug mules.
“I doubt it. Gomez is more into the manufacturing and distribution to in-country Capos. The Capos would then distribute out of Bolivia. Gomez isn’t stupid. He’d rather lose some coin and have less exposure,” Zane explained. “I’ll have Tex and Garrett work on getting the mission brief without the names redacted. We have a starting point. That’s good.”
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