by Sophia Gray
“What?” I stared at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Stephanie licked her lips. “I mean, are you happy with your life? Do you ever wish that you’d done something else?”
A shiver went through me. It was almost like I was hearing Candace’s voice now, coming from Stephanie’s body. For a moment I was transported back years in time, staring at my girlfriend and wanting nothing in the world but her.
“I didn’t always want this life,” I said gruffly. My voice came out sounding sharper than I meant it to. “But it chose me, and I’ve done alright. I don’t question myself, I don’t question the motives of my guys. I just want to make sure everyone gets their slice of the pie and business gets taken care of. It doesn’t really matter whether or not I’m happy. I don’t think happiness is some kind of white whale, you know? Everyone should feel it, as long as they’re being successful in this life.”
Stephanie looked at me. Her blue eyes were cast in shadow, unreadable. She stretched her arms high in the air. “I can’t tell, though,” she said after a long pause. “That’s the thing. I can’t tell how I’m doing, or why I should feel better about my choices in life.”
Chapter Fourteen
Stephanie
I lay on my back and watched as Isaac circled around, gamely stepping around the rocks. I knew that I should probably be worried about venomous snakes and bugs but I couldn’t force myself to care. Everything that was going on between Jessica and Val and the whole damn club was making my head spin. Sometimes I just wanted a break.
“I need to tell you something,” I said to Isaac as I rolled back onto my belly and gazed up at him. From where I lay, Isaac looked huge, like he was completely made of muscle. “And I don’t think you’re gonna like it.”
Isaac laughed. “Probably not,” he said. He slid down next to me and for a moment, I was struck hard with desire. My mouth went dry as I watched Isaac’s muscular legs shift and settle down on the hard ground. His bulky chest and arms strained the cotton of his black t-shirt and I shivered as lust crawled down my spine. I wanted him, suddenly. I wanted him to press his lips against mine and kiss me fiercely and pull my head away from all of this crap. I wanted him to rip my clothes off and fuck me right here and now, in the middle of the desert, high above LA and the world I knew. I wanted to come harder than I’d ever come in my life, I wanted any excuse to not think about Val and her terrible plot.
“Jessica, that brunette girl in the MC, she was assaulted,” I said. My voice caught on the last word and I coughed, trying to cover up any emotion that slipped out of my mouth. “She was lying in bed and someone…someone came in and hurt her,” I said. “She can’t have kids as a result. And she wants revenge.”
Isaac stared at me. His jaw dropped slightly and he narrowed his eyes. “That’s so fucked up,” he said in a low, growly voice. “Do you know who did it?”
Val thinks it was one of your men, I thought grimly. And now I’m not sure whether or not to believe her. I kept waiting for Isaac to say something, or blush, or even make some kind of shady movement that would clue me into the truth. But instead, he kept his eyes focused intently on me until I was shivering and thoughts of us, naked and rolling around, filled my head once again.
“No,” I said finally. “We don’t have any idea. Someone snuck into the clubhouse the night that we had that party,” I added. “And the girls are hell-bent on getting revenge.”
Isaac nodded. He made a fist with one hand and punched his other open palm. “I don’t blame them,” he said sharply. “If someone hurt one of my guys, I’d take them out, first thing. That asshole needs to be found. And then he needs to be punished.”
Again, I wondered if Val had it wrong. I wondered if there was anything inside of her that hated the Thorns, that wanted to see them dead. After all, it would make sense. This was a hell of a thing to blame on someone. But I still didn’t see how going to the cops was supposed to just make it better.
“Yeah,” I muttered. I got to my feet. “What did you wanna talk about again?”
Isaac rolled his eyes. “Forget it,” he mumbled. I winced; all of the intimacy between us had disappeared and I was back to feeling like I was sitting next to a stranger.
“I’m leaving,” I announced as I wiped my hands on my jeans. “You coming?”
Isaac shook his head. “I got business to take care of,” he said, not meeting my eyes. “Thanks for the ride.”
As I left, I couldn't wipe the image of his face from my mind. Just being around Isaac made me hyper aware of the secret I was keeping from him and how angry he'd be when he finally discovered the truth. If he discovers the truth, I thought to myself. There was still a chance that I would be able to get away unscathed, but I didn’t see that happening any time soon.
The girls were restless when I got back to the club. Val, thank god, wasn’t there; she’d snuck out to meet with the Russians. I kept wondering whether or not we’d actually be able to pull off this kind of bust. If it went well, it would net us quite a lot in stolen guns. But if it didn’t go well, well…. shit. I couldn’t think about that. Not yet.
Jessica sat down next to me and handed me a frosty bottle. The cap was popped off and I took a long, grateful drink. Closing my eyes, I savored the sour tang of the beer. When I was younger, I used to hate beer. Now it was one of my only comforts.
“How are you feeling?” I looked at Jessica. She appeared to be much better than she had in the past couple of weeks. Her eyes were shiny and her brown hair had been freshly cut. “You look good.”
“Thanks,” Jessica replied. She ducked her head and I watched as a blush broke out over her cheeks. “I feel a little better, you know? I feel better knowing that we have a plan like this.”
Inside, my stomach twisted but I didn’t say anything. Instead, I nodded and took another long swig of beer.
Val burst into the clubhouse and all the girls cheered. I felt sick with jealousy—and betrayal—as she strode over to me like she owned the joint. Her lips were twisted into a big smile and her teeth were almost blindingly white.
“Girl,” Val said. She pulled me into a hug. I stiffened; I couldn’t help it. It just happened. If Val noticed, she didn’t say anything. I closed my eyes and breathed in her familiar scent: vanilla and engine grease. All I wanted was to go back in time to the days when Val and I were friends again, but I just couldn’t see it happening.
Chapter Fifteen
Isaac
I flexed my arms and shoved my fists in my pockets. TJ and Nick were milling around in the bar, waiting for a call from the Russians. The plan was that we were supposed to meet in the desert outside of town. We’d bring the funds and do a trade. This was the way we’d done business with them for years, but for some reason, I was nervous. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was bound to go wrong. I kept imagining the cops showing up, or the Russians pulling AK-47s out from beneath their feet and shooting at us until we were bloody and lying on the ground.
“Shit,” I muttered. “I’m so fucking tense!”
Nick walked over to me and cuffed me on the shoulder. “This is a big deal, boss,” he said with a grin. “We’re finally getting back on the map. This is the biggest order that we’ve ever put in, and you know it.”
I shook my head. “It don’t feel right,” I said. “I mean, it feels like someone’s trying to fuck us. You know anything about that?” I glanced at him, suddenly suspicious. I didn’t know where this doubt was coming from; I’d always trusted my guys. But this was some new, next-level shit in terms of paranoia and job security. If we got caught, this would be the end of Jungle’s Thorns for a few years. Prison would be hard on us, and the club probably wouldn’t survive. Gunrunners didn’t tend to do well in prison; they were basically only a step above child molesters and rapists. We were the bad guys funding gang warfare, and it was a safe bet to say society didn’t exactly look on that lightly.
I couldn’t get over my conversation with Stephanie up at the
Hollywood sign. Things had been different between us. Away from our separate MCs, she had been a different person. For a moment or two, I’d actually thought that we could have a civil conversation. I’d thought that we could maybe get somewhere, like real people.
“Boss,” Nick said. He jabbed me in the ribs. “Here comes trouble.”
I clenched my jaw as I saw the men walking into the warehouse. They were all short and squat with bulky frames and leather jackets. Not bikers, Russians.
“Hey,” I greeted our arms dealers in a low voice. I glanced around. Panic sounded in my head and my belly. This wasn’t right; they weren’t supposed to be here. They weren’t ever supposed to come into our property like this. It was too dangerous. What the fuck was going on?”
“Hello,” one of the Russians, Sergey, greeted me. “I need to talk to you.”
“Now isn’t a good time,” I said sharply. “We’re meeting on Saturday. Stick to that, will you?”
The Russian threw his head back and laughed. His mouth was filled with yellow teeth and the glimmer of gold crowns. I shuddered. “No,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I heard you may not be there. I wanted to make sure we’d get our money.”
Bracing my feet apart and staring at him, I tried to figure out what was going on. “That’s bullshit,” I scoffed. “This is the biggest deal that we’ve made to date. Of course we’re gonna fucking be there. What the hell is your problem?”
Sergey shook his head. “You can’t lie to me, Isaac,” he said with a nasty smile. “I have brought men to argue my case.”
My stomach knotted in on itself as the burly men stepped up to Sergey’s side. He was the shortest of the bunch, barely coming up to their shoulders. They glanced around, not nervously, but as if checking the place out for future use. I didn’t like that. Not at all.
“You’d better clue me in,” I hissed, stepping closer and resting a hand on the holster of my gun. “I don’t like surprise visits like this. None of the guys do. It’s strictly against policy.”
Sergey smiled “We hate to make you uncomfortable,” he said. “We just need to make sure you’re going to show up.” I watched with a sickening feeling in my stomach as his men stepped forward and grabbed TJ, pulling him to the side of the room. “This little trade off will ensure your arrival and the money, no?”
“Let him go,” I growled. TJ was looking at me with a practiced and stoic look on his face but deep down, I could tell he was panicking. A week with the Russians could mean a death sentence if they got drunk or angry or just plain bored. I thought that by the time I saw TJ again, he might be cut to pieces.
“No,” Sergey said. He smiled and stuck his arm out, smacking TJ hard in the face. “This will ensure that you arrive on Saturday.”
“We need to meet before then,” I growled. “You let him go or we’ll have to have a serious talk about the future of our relationship.”
Sergey shrugged. “I don’t care about the future,” he said. “I care about getting my money when I deserve to get my money, you pig. Don’t you understand that?”
I sighed. “Nick,” I called loudly. “Come over here!” When he didn’t reply, I felt anger blossom inside of me. “Get your ass over here!”
Nick trotted up, managing to somehow look both scared and oblivious. “What is it?”
I glared at him. I loved my guys, but sometimes they could be incredibly fucking stupid. “Do you know anything about this? Who the fuck told Sergey that we might not be there on Saturday?”
Nick frowned. “I don’t know,” he said. “Hey, why are they holding TJ like that?”
“They’re going to keep him fucking hostage unless we think of something,” I hissed sharply. “Can you fucking help with this? Go get the cash box,” I added, trying to make sure that Sergey wouldn’t hear me. “We can’t let them take him.”
TJ was my best man, my best fighter, and one of the smartest guys in the club. I couldn’t stand for them to take him. As much as I hated it, another idea popped into my head as I watched Nick trot off.
“Hey,” I said to Sergey, holding up my hands. “I have another idea, okay?”
Sergey grinned. He jabbed TJ in the gut until he was doubled over in pain. I tried not to wince as I looked on. “I don’t care,” he said with a grin. “We’re taking this one. That’s that.”
“What if I paid you some cash now, and gave you another man?” I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible but inside, I felt like I was pleading for my own life. “I’ve got another guy who would be a better companion. And as a bonus, he’s a great mechanic. Put him to work fixing all of your shit up, okay?”
Sergey smirked. “Like our shit is broken? Are you saying we run a shoddy business?”
I was stalling but I prayed he wouldn’t figure that out. “Nick!” I yelled loudly. “Go get Kyle!” I grinned unpleasantly to myself. Trading Kyle for TJ wasn’t ideal, but it was probably the best chance I was going to get. Plus, I was angry beyond words with Kyle and this would be a suitable punishment. A few days with the Russians, maybe a broken finger or two. He’d be fine. I just couldn’t let them take my best man.
“Hey,” I said, when Nick approached with Kyle in tow. As usual, Kyle was grinning like an idiot and swaggering around like he owned the place. He had grease all over his hands and on his forehead from wiping his blond hair back out of his face. When he saw the Russians, his grin slowly faded into a look of confusion.
“What’s this?” Kyle said. He swallowed hard and I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down. “What the fuck is going on?”
“Release him,” I said to Sergey. To my immense relief, he dropped TJ to the ground. TJ stood up and walked over. I could see that he was breathing hard with gratitude. “Here,” I said, shoving Kyle forward. “Take him. He’s young, he can work for you for free. And here’s five thousand dollars as a retainer,” I said. “You get the rest of the money on Saturday, when we get the guns. Deal?”
Sergey smirked. “This one is smart. He knows what to do.” He wrapped his fingers around the back of Kyle’s neck and squeezed. Kyle shot me a glare and I glared right back. If you hadn’t fucked off and acted like such a dumb shit, this never would have happened, I thought angrily. You deserve every single bit of this.
Nick handed Sergey an envelope of cash, which he counted before tucking it inside of his sharkskin jacket. “We see you Saturday,” Sergey said gruffly. “Do not be late.”
“Oh, we won’t,” I said, staring hard at him. “We’ll be right on time.”
Chapter Sixteen
Stephanie
I sat around drinking beer with my girls and planning for the future for a few hours. Even with Val there, things almost felt normal again, like they were going on the right track. I hadn’t heard anything about the cops so far that day, and as far as I knew, the weapons deal was still on for Saturday. That was only a few days away, and I was already worried about it.
“We’re going to have to do some planning when we come into more weapons,” I said sharply, pointing to a map of LA that was tacked on the wall. It was decorated with swirls of highlighter and pen, courtesy of me and Val back when we were planning the original Succubi territory. Now we took up almost half of the map; there was a wide blue swath that belonged to Jungle’s Thorns, and I had my sights on capturing all of it. “This is going to be dangerous,” I said. “People aren’t going to trust us at first, and we’re going to have some trouble selling. We have to make new clients, and we have to make them believe that we know exactly what we’re doing.”
“We’ll just send you, Stephy,” Alexa said with a grin. “You always look like you know what you’re talking about.”
I rolled my eyes as the others laughed. This was the most upbeat around the girls that I’d felt in ages, especially in light of what had happened to Jessica. Since then, everything had been mostly quiet. We’d all been focused on our next goal, even though we were obviously still at odds.
“I do a good job pretendin
g sometimes,” I said with a smirk. “But it’s really important that we throw all of our effort into this. If we’re going to bring down the biggest MC around, it’s going to take a lot of energy and a lot of money. We have to be prepared to show the Russians what we’re made of, and that we’re just as tough as the boys.”
Alexa looked away. For a moment I’d forgotten that her boyfriend, Kyle, was a member of Jungle’s Thorns. I half expected her to raise her voice and argue with me on the point but she didn’t say anything, instead looking moodily away into the distance.
“Yeah,” Jessica cheered. The other girls clapped and whistled. “We’re going to murder those shitlords!”
“Yeah!” Tara cheered.
“Be quiet,” I said sharply. “We still need to figure out how we’re going to take over their territory with minimal disruption in service and payment. We need to make these buyers respect us.”
