by Nicky James
There was movement and then A.J’s shoulder brushed my own as he slid down the wall beside me. “You could dance all night and not break a sweat. How about you quit bullshitting me and tell me what’s up.”
I pursed my lips and lifted my head. “I’m not bullshitting. It’s nothing.”
A.J examined me before he closed his own eyes and leaned his head against the wall. “I’ve been here a long time, you know? I know what’s going on inside your head right now.”
I laughed humorlessly. “I doubt that.”
A.J cracked an eye and peered sidelong at me, challenging my statement with a glance alone. I tried not to let him unnerve me. He didn’t speak and closed his eyes again. We sat in silence, the music inside only a distant thumping behind our backs. The warm breeze dried our sweat soaked skin.
When his presence became overbearing enough I was about to jump up and head back inside, he spoke.
“We all have our limits, Sor. You, me, Sean, Ryan.” He paused and smiled sadly. “Ash and some of the others haven’t been here long enough yet, but they’ll get there too. Anyone who sticks around long enough gets to the point where you’re at right now.”
I stared, curious about what he meant but also worried he’d read my thoughts.
His gaze shifted to mine but his eyes glazed as he looked at something in his own mind. “It won’t go away…that feeling.” His nose curled in disgust and for a moment he didn’t speak, then his eyes came back into focus, and he looked at me intently. When I wanted to confirm we were talking about the same feeling, he elaborated, and my question disappeared on my lips. “You know that feeling. The one you get when you see they’re here and you know it’s gonna be one of those nights. It only gets worse, not better. I promise you. No one knows better than me.”
My heart beat a little harder when I saw the sympathy rise in his green eyes. Was he trying to tell me to give up? That it was hopeless? Did he want me to quit? I couldn’t walk away. As much as I despised what I had to do, I needed to work. I had nowhere else to go.
“I’ll figure it out. I need this job. Regardless.” I shimmied off the ground, intent on heading inside when A.J jumped up and stilled me with a hand on my bare arm.
“We’re all stuck here, Sor. We all need this job. You know that. Donny knows that. But if you want to make it easier for yourself, I can help.”
When I was about to pull away from him, his words halted me and I stared into his face, unsure about what he meant.
“How?” I asked, my voice doubt-filled and uncertain.
A.J planted a foot on the bottom of the door, ensuring it stayed closed and he dug a small device out from where it was tucked inside his shorts. I hadn’t even noticed the slight raised area where it was hiding until his fingers reached for it.
The device was small and cylindrical. I’d never seen anything like it before and my curiosity wiped away the nervous energy that had originally taken hold.
“What is it?” I asked, staring as he manipulated it in his hands, turning it and doing something else.
He glanced up with a dark look in his eyes as he finished whatever he was doing and handed it to me.
“Ever taken speed?”
I stared at it but didn’t reach for it. “No.”
Apart from drinking myself stupid on occasion, like any normal kid my age, I’d never gone near anything else. I’d watched my brother fall on his face enough times getting high to make me leery.
“You’ll thank me.”
A thousand thoughts and arguments shot through my mind as he shook the device, coaxing me to take it. I didn’t. I was locked in a moment of indecision. My upcoming night oozed and wormed its way over my skin, making me feel disgusting and gross before a single person had laid a hand on me. Every fiber of my being didn’t want to go through it, yet I knew if I wanted the job and wanted to stay off the streets, I didn’t have a choice.
Still I didn’t accept it. “What…what is it? I mean…how do you take it? I’ve never…I mean.”
I felt ten kinds of stupid as I tripped over my words, not really sure what I was asking.
He chuckled, which irritated me on top of all of it. “It’s a sniffer. I’ll walk you through it. It’s not hard, and like I said, you’ll thank me.”
I pressed my lips together, torn and not knowing what to do. The minutes ticked by and I felt like I’d been standing there a hundred years not moving.
A.J sensed my indecision and lowered his hand slightly. “It’s already past midnight. In the next half an hour, Donny will be taking you off the floor. You know where your night goes from there. I’ve been doing this for a long time, Soren. I promise you, what you are feeling right now only becomes a thousand times harder to deal with. Save yourself the agony.”
I looked into his eyes and saw the truth in what he said. A.J had always looked out for us and I trusted him more than anyone else at the club. My skin crawled and I shivered despite the late summer heat. I bit into my lip and darted my gaze to the closed door and back to A.J. Without further mulling, I took the sniffer from his hand.
“Okay. What do I do?”
Chapter Six
REMY
No matter how many times I told myself to forget him, I couldn’t. For the two weeks following my random encounter with Soren at the bar, my mind had been relentless. The pull toward him was undeniably strong. Countless times I’d needed to convince myself to stay home and not go for a drive and a drink. When I closed my eyes at night, he was there, snarky and gorgeous as ever. A permanent fixture in my head.
Perhaps my brain was redirecting itself to avoid re-entangling with Cole. Whatever the reason, that evening I was losing the battle of wills to stay home.
With my laptop on my lap and my current document staring back at me—untouched for more than a half an hour—I glanced to my beer sitting on a coaster on the coffee table. I’d poured it over an hour ago and forgotten about it. At that point, it’d be warm and undrinkable.
The apartment was in shadows; the side table light and laptop screen providing the only illumination. It was quiet too. A light rain fell outside, pattering on the balcony doors, but otherwise, silence engulfed me.
I shifted my laptop to rest on the couch and sat forward. It was ten o’clock on a Saturday night and I was at home working. I sighed, feeling twice as old as my thirty-five years, and forced myself to get up. I carried my warm beer to the kitchen and dumped it, washed the glass, dried it, and returned it to the cupboard.
Back in the living room, I saved my document and returned my laptop to my office to plug it in. I couldn’t fight it any longer. Sitting at home with my thoughts constantly wandering astray was too much. Soren was front and center in my mind, and I had to see him again. If the guy rejected me a second time, maybe my brain would move on and quit tormenting me. I justified that, at one point, I had told him I may be back to try and convince him to have dinner.
In the bathroom, I tidied myself up, shaved, added a spritz of cologne, and combed damp fingers through my hair to reset it how I liked. Staring at my reflection, I mulled over my decision to seek the man out again. At that rate, he was going to think I was stalking him. Hopefully, I’d at least eased his concern over my being a cop and his bite would be less.
Doing another circular check of my apartment, I turned the lights off, pulled on my sneakers, and left.
The bar was even busier that night than the last time I’d been there, and I steeled against the assault of bodies and edged my way toward where I’d sat before, trying not to touch anything or anyone. There were only a few empty seats. Ones which required me to keep close company with strangers. I bit back the bout of anxiety it caused and shifted onto a stool in between a young man with a shaved head and an older, heavy set man with long silver hair and a leather jacket.
I made myself as small as I could, which was difficult with a six foot two frame and broad shoulders. Smoothing a hand down the front of my navy polo, I scanned the bar to see if I could spo
t a blond waiter anywhere.
Unlike the previous time, there were more serving staff. A young woman, dressed all in black with long auburn hair tied back in a ponytail, carried a tray of drinks. There was also a man, older than Soren, probably closer to my age, taking orders at another table on the far side of the room. Scanning again, I couldn’t see any more wait staff.
Slower, I let my gaze fall from table to table, in case he’d joined a group and was sitting and chatting. Nothing.
A third man, the bartender, came down to where I sat and tapped the counter in front of me. “What can I get ya?”
I turned on my stool, registering his short cropped black hair and hazel eyes as I rested my elbows on the edge of the bar. “Umm…” I hadn’t thought that far. Remembering the awful beer I’d attempted, I settled for hard liquor again. “How about a whisky and Coke.”
He nodded and flipped around, working with the same skill Soren had shown as he prepared my drink. A coaster was dropped in front of me, followed by a short glass with a lime wedge rimming the edge. I pulled out my wallet and tossed a bill into his outstretched palm. When he returned with my change, I waved it off and asked, “Is Soren around?”
The man smirked as he tossed his tip into a glass jar across from the bar. “Nah, he doesn’t work weekends.”
I flinched. “I’m sorry. I must have misunderstood him. I was here the other week, I thought he said he worked every weekend.”
It would figure he’d lie.
“Oh, he does work every weekend, just not here.”
The man turned and looked ready to move back down to the other end of the bar to aide customers, but I couldn’t help my curiosity.
“Do you know where else he works?”
The man smiled knowingly, and I wondered if I looked as desperate as I felt.
“He dances Friday and Saturday nights at The Escape.”
The Escape? Danced?
I knew The Escape to be one of the biggest gay nightclubs in the area. It was located on the other end of town, closer to where I lived, but I had never ventured there. The club scene was never my thing.
“Thanks.”
“Good luck with him. He’s a great guy, but impossible to pin down. Guys have tried, but he has a thing about dating.” The bartender shrugged as though baffled and turned, heading to the other end of the bar.
So, Soren was a dancer in a nightclub. I slid my drink closer and helped myself to a sip while I considered what to do. At least him blowing me off hadn’t been personal. Thinking I might be that one guy who might change his mind seemed ridiculous, yet once again, I couldn’t seem to accept defeat.
Now what?
Did I go see him or did I just return to the shitty bar some night during the week and chance running into him again? Heading to a nightclub didn’t play out well in my mind. Nightclubs tended to be touchy-feely places and unless I was with someone I trusted, I’d be pegged quickly as single. That was just asking to have my personal space invaded. The thought made me shiver.
Deciding I was done there, I downed another mouthful of my drink before pushing it away. Outside, where it was quieter, I pulled my phone from my pocket and called my brother. I ducked my head and walked fast to my car. The rain fell heavier than earlier. Alessio picked up on the third ring.
“Giuseppe, it’s a Saturday night. Tell me you aren’t at home and calling from boredom again.”
“I’m not at home.” I confirmed, as I held a hand up to block the rain from hitting my face. “I’m out.”
“Good for you. Where are you at?”
“Just leaving that shit bar I was telling you about.”
“The one with the view?”
I may have elaborated somewhat about Soren to Alessio. In vague details, but enough he knew of my interest. “Yeah, but he’s not here. Apparently, he works elsewhere on Friday and Saturday nights.”
“Aw, you poor thing. So, are you heading home to sulk?”
“No. I’m calling to see if you want to go out. I’m a glutton for punishment, and I need to see him again, but where he works… I don’t want to go alone.”
I reached my car and hit the unlock button before pulling open the door and getting in.
“Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like this.”
I laughed. “Because you won’t, but I’m begging you to help me. He dances at The Escape. I don’t want to get groped. Please, Lessie. Places like that make my skin crawl.”
“The Escape?” He groaned into the receiver. “Giuss, seriously?”
“Come on, you’ve been with me to gay bars plenty when we were younger.”
“It’s not that and you know it. It’s a nightclub, man, I haven’t been in a club in like ten years. I’m too old for that shit.” There was a pause as my previous statement seemed to sink in. “Wait, he’s a dancer?”
“I guess so. Look, don’t judge. Will you come with me?”
Alessio audibly sighed on the other end. “How desperate are you to get laid?”
“Why do you do that?”
“Fine, but you owe me big time, fratello. I won’t forget this.”
“Thank you.”
“I can meet you there in about twenty minutes.”
“Perfect. Do me a favor, the guy seems to have a thing about cops, try not to be a dick and leave your authority shit at home.”
Alessio laughed lightly. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Giuss. This guy is really young. Are you sure you want to get mixed up with some kid in his twenties and who dances for a living?”
I fixed my damp hair in the rear-view mirror and grimaced at his observations. “He’s not a kid. So, twenty minutes?”
Alessio sighed, knowing I would refuse to discuss it further. “Yeah. See ya in a few.”
We hung up and I tucked my phone in my pocket before starting the car. Maybe I was blinded by lust, but I didn’t carry huge expectations. In reality, why would a guy his age even give me a second glance? He was attractive and could probably have any man he wanted.
Pushing away the self-deprecating thoughts, I pulled into traffic and headed back to the other end of town toward the nightclub.
The dance music was deafening even before we entered. Once inside, I squinted, and clamped my jaw tight against the assault on my ears. The open floor was huge and expanded to a second level, accessible from a flight of open stairs on the right and left hand sides of the room. It was dark and the flashy strobe and disco lighting was enough to make me blink a few times until my eyes adjusted. I’d never been to The Escape, so I didn’t know what to expect.
“Do you know how long it’s been since I stepped foot in a place like this?” Alessio asked, leaning into my side and yelling over the music.
Alessio was five years older than me. His fortieth birthday was fast approaching and he always insisted on reminding me that the years were getting away from him.
“Shut up and help me find a table.”
Together, we scanned the busy club. When I came up with nothing on my first pass, I walked hesitantly farther into the room, looking around the crush of bodies. My gaze caught on a blond head up on stage and locked. All I could do was stare.
It was Soren.
A scarcely dressed Soren, in only a small pair of teal boy shorts and black boots.
His body moved fluidly in time with the music. With his eyes closed, his hips swayed and arms popped to the beat. Every precise action was flawless and silky smooth. He owned the stage and milked the audience with his body. He was good and I quickly became drawn in and mesmerized, forgetting my search for a table, my brother, and all the people around me.
A tugging on my arm jolted me back to the present as Alessio pulled me through the crowd, up front near the stage. “Come on, lover boy, VIP up ahead.”
VIP?
I stayed close to Alessio, avoiding the congestion as much as possible as I followed him to an open table, one that sat right up beside the stage. There was a man grinning slyly at us as we got c
loser, and Alessio went straight to him and wacked him on the shoulder before shaking his hand like they were old friends.
“Big D.”
“Lessie. To what do I owe the honor? It’s been ages. I didn’t think I’d ever see your face in here.”
Alessio took Big D’s arm and turned to me. “This is my brother, Giuseppe. He has sweet eyes for one of your dancers it seems. Giuss, this is Donny. He owns this joint.”
Donny extended a thick hand to shake, and I paused, accepting it reluctantly. “It’s Remy actually. Only this shit head calls me Giuseppe anymore.”
“Nice to meet you. Any friend of Lessie’s is a friend of mine. Now, tell me, where do your eyes stray my friend?” The smirk on his hard face made me uncomfortable. He was as tall as me, but much thicker in muscle. Of course, the first thing I noted was he was well-dressed in expensive designer slacks and a dress shirt, both midnight black. His dark hair was sleeked back, showing off hard eyes and a firm jaw.
When I didn’t respond, Alessio chuckled. Before he could answer for me, a young brown-hair guy I also recognized from a few weeks back, the same one who’d been with Soren during Samurai Sam’s incident at the complex, rushed over with a beaming smile.
“Good evening, gentlemen.” He jutted out his hip and swayed his body in a flirtatious manner as his eyes locked on me and me alone. He was dressed the same as Soren, only his shorts were orange. “Can I get you a few drinks?” His teeth found his lip and he toyed with it as he waited for an answer, flicking his tongue out on occasion, showing off a metal bar lodged through its center.
“Umm…” I dashed a glance to Alessio who took a second watching the server’s reaction to me before he swung his head around with a raised eyebrow.
“That one? I thought you said he was blond.” Alessio smirked at my state of shock, and I skipped my gaze from him to Donny before responding.
“No. Not him.”
The guy looked confused and checked with Donny before he shifted his gaze between Alessio and me.
Donny spoke first. “Ashton, bring these men a couple of White Russians while they think.”
