She had to change strategy.
In order to survive, she would have to understand her enemy. As Arren’s thoughts swirled around her, she had to find a way to break his will.
His memories. Rather than his thoughts, she had to focus on his past. If she could find something in there, something deep and full of turmoil, she would be able to cause him pain. She would find his weakness and destroy him.
She peeled up the layers to worm deeper into Arren’s mind. The strongest memories were those attached to powerful emotions.
Arren was a skinny, frail boy. His mother was far bigger, with a wide body, thick neck, and beady, piercing eyes. Arren cowered in the corner but he couldn’t retreat any farther. His mother loomed over him, fists bunched, ready to strike.
“I was cursed the day you were born. You think you’re clever? Do you realize what you’ve done, with your lies?” She spoke scathingly as spittle flew from her lips. “You sniveling little worm. The door was closed. You didn’t see me with anyone. I’ve never touched a man who wasn’t your father. If you call me a liar again—”
Selena wanted to pull back from the memory; the accompanying emotion was too strong, too overwhelming. Arren had been just six years old. He hadn’t yet begun to understand what the visions meant. He didn’t know why his mother was angry. All he had done was ask her—in front of his father—why she had been lying on top of a strange man in the back room.
Arren had been beaten, first by his mother and then his father later on. He eventually learned to keep his mouth shut, but the beatings became a habit. Almost every time his parents argued, one of them saw him and came storming toward him, while all he could do was raise his arms in front of his face.
Selena didn’t want to use the memory. It felt wrong, in every way.
But she also didn’t want to die.
She retreated from the memories and returned to the whirling storm of Arren’s thoughts. She formed a thought of her own and held on to it with all of her power, feeling the radiance well within her as she slammed the idea home.
You are not talented, you’re cursed.
Selena used the withering tones of Arren’s mother. He would feel that his mother was inside his mind. For his entire youth, his mother’s voice had made him feel fear, self-loathing, and anxiety.
Like a swordsman launching a flurry of blows, Selena continued.
All you do is hurt the people around you. Just give up. What do you have to live for? You might as well be dead.
Selena sensed Arren’s anguish.
The last thought Selena drove home was one of contempt. Worm.
Then, once she was done, Selena retreated.
With a jolt, her eyes refocused as she found herself again within her body. She stood with her fists bunched at her sides. Her teeth were gritted so tightly that her jaw hurt. Arren was in front of her. The dagger was between them. A solid thrust would end Selena’s life.
But, rather than stab, he blinked and stared in confusion at the knife in his hand. His gaze continued to move, to the tear in his tunic and the wide blood stain spreading across the material.
The dagger dropped out of his hand.
Arren’s arm fell. His eyes slowly closed. His knees buckled underneath him as he collapsed to the sand.
Yet even in victory, Selena felt a sickening sensation. Every fiber of her being recoiled at what she had done.
To defeat her enemy, she had been forced to understand him and to use his fears against him. Her own upbringing had been far too similar to his. People had mistrusted her ever since her talent had surfaced. She had been beaten for trying to save a man’s children. Settlers had abandoned her in the wasteland, only for her to find her way back to them. Her youth had been spent moving from group to group. All she had ever wanted was to remove her curse.
She was still holding on to her power, and had never taken on so much of it.
Her legs felt weak. She staggered and then crumpled to the ground.
Something inside her snapped.
She was thrown outside her body, but this wasn’t like anything she had experienced before. She floated upward while the stars above spun around and around with dizzying ferocity. The fighting pit fell away beneath her. She managed to glance down and saw that she was above the arena, which swiftly became smaller. The white-walled houses reflected the moonlight. The grid of streets and avenues blurred together. Soon the city was a pale, circular disc. A long line of campfires glittered outside.
The sense of horror stayed with her. Her very identity, her sense of knowing who she was, began to fade away, leaving a confusion of thoughts that jostled together so that none of them was able to take shape.
As she continued to rise higher and higher, she once more stared up at the sky. She was strangely drawn to the stars. They were so peaceful. Peace was what she desired most of all.
If she traveled high enough, she could leave the world behind.
Taimin shook Selena’s body hard, but still she gave no reaction. She was perfectly motionless, legs folded beneath her as she sat with shoulders slumped on the sandy floor of the arena. Her eyes were unfocused. Her chest wasn’t moving.
Taimin glanced at the thin-faced man’s body and the dagger that lay flat on the sand. He tried to understand what was happening but couldn’t. Selena hadn’t been hurt physically as far as he could see.
Griff gave a growl that ended in a whimper. His lean body sprawled out with his wings fluttering. His sad eyes watched Selena intently; he knew that something was wrong. Beside Taimin, Rei-kika’s antennae twitched in agitation.
Taimin put his ear against Selena’s mouth. He looked imploringly at Rei-kika. “What’s happening? Why isn’t she breathing?”
“Selena fought for her life. She defeated her enemy, but her lifeline is broken,” Rei-kika said. “She is no longer connected to her body.”
“I don’t understand,” Taimin said. He had never felt so helpless.
“With her lifeline broken, her body will no longer breathe,” Rei-kika said. “If she does not return quickly, she will die.”
“Help her!” Taimin cried, staring at the mantorean, trying to read her black, prismatic eyes.
Rei-kika became still and Taimin watched, tensed and expectant. His pulse raced. He turned to Selena again. He could hardly breathe himself. She was so . . . absent. It was as if she was already dead.
The situation became even more hopeless when Rei-kika shook her head. “She is farther than I can reach. All I can sense is her despair.”
“Can’t you go to her?”
“I cannot,” Rei-kika said. “My training is too much a part of me. My lifeline would bring me back.” With a convolution of her limbs, the mantorean sat down beside him. “I cannot go to her.” She was close to him as she stared into his eyes. “But you can.”
“Me?” Taimin shook his head. “I’m no mystic.”
“I am aware of that. Outside your body, you would have no lifeline at all. I can free your awareness. But you would be as Selena is now. You would cease to breathe.”
“You can send me to her?” Taimin felt the faintest kindling of hope.
“No,” Rei-kika said. “All I know is that she is high in the sky, and all I can do is help you leave your body. You have to find her. You must call to her.”
“How would she hear me?” Taimin asked.
“Because, Taimin,” Rei-kika said simply, “she trusts you.”
45
Taimin burst free from his body and immediately knew that something was wrong. He was floating above the sandy floor of the fighting pit, but he sensed that he should return. He knew that he was dying.
He heard Rei-kika’s voice. Steady.
Taimin was terrified but he had to face his fears with determination. I can do this, he said.
Be swift.
He stared up at a sky that was a shade somewhere between dark blue and deepest black. Brilliant diamonds of light glinted down at him, scattered across the heavens. He wan
ted to go there. He felt himself drifting upward.
He needed to go faster. Rei-kika had said that Selena was high. On cue, the moment he thought about it, his rate of travel increased until he was speeding toward the stars. He looked down. Rei-kika was antlike in size. Soon even Griff became tiny. The oval-shaped floor of sand grew still smaller. The arena itself started to shrink and was swallowed by the surrounding streets and buildings. The city of Zorn became a pale, perfect circle in the plain that enclosed it.
So this was farcasting.
Taimin again gazed up at the sky. The stars appeared just as distant. The next time he glanced down, he couldn’t see the great city of Zorn at all, just a dark, shadowed landscape of deserts and valleys, mountains, and windswept plains.
He focused his attention on traveling as high as he could. The only constant was the cratered moon, which appeared to grow in size.
He felt dizzy. The stars were spinning. He kept the silver circle of the moon in sight and his vision stilled. He knew that looking down would be a bad idea. Even so, it took a great effort to prevent himself from doing it.
He started to call, even as he flew higher. Darkness swallowed him. Stars filled his vision, countless shining holes in the black curtain of night.
Selena? Selena!
Selena was at a place where the sky curved and cast a final blue glow before it met a horizon of perfect darkness. The world was a sphere, she realized, a layered sphere, with breathable air coating the land underneath. She was at the edge of the outer layer. Up above was a void of utter emptiness. It was both forbidding and strangely inviting.
More stars than she had ever seen dominated her vision. The moon was far brighter, clear enough that she could make out jagged circles, like the imprints of huge droplets of water.
She felt drawn to the void. The stars beckoned, beautiful and bright. Something told her that she needed to return, but she wanted to continue her ascent for as long as she could.
She heard a voice.
It was faint, as distant as a voice calling from the bottom of a deep canyon. At first, she wondered if she was really hearing it, but then it became louder. Soon, she heard it more clearly. It was a male voice, calling her name.
Taimin? She spoke with her mind into the darkness.
And then he was with her.
She could make out his ghostly silhouette; he was floating beside her. He was transparent but his face was nonetheless distinct. She knew she must look the same way to him.
Selena.
He spoke her name with desperation. In all the time she had known him, as they had traveled together across the wasteland, searching for a mysterious city, she had never heard such emotion in his voice.
Why are you here? she asked.
Because you need to come back with me.
Selena shook her head. She was confused. I did something terrible.
He spoke urgently. Listen to me. That man tried to kill you. If you defended yourself, then you did the right thing.
You’re wrong. I’m cursed.
That’s not true. Rei-kika is with me. She’s a mystic. Is she cursed?
Selena looked for a moment at the moon and then faced Taimin’s hovering silhouette. She considered his words. She liked and trusted Rei-kika.
You can’t let them win, Taimin said. If you believe the worst about yourself, that’s what will happen. You’re not cursed. Look at where we are: we’re among the stars!
Selena hesitated. Her shattered thoughts were starting to take shape again, with every word Taimin said.
Taimin continued. You once told me that we can’t group anyone together and label them the same way. There are good and bad humans, you said. What about mystics?
Selena finally understood.
She wasn’t a slave to her ability. She was in control of it. Her talent meant she could do things other people couldn’t, but what she did was up to her.
Taimin reached out to put his hand against her face, although she felt nothing. We searched together for a new home. We were looking for a city. But what we didn’t realize was that we had already found what we were looking for, as soon as we found each other. Please. You have to come back with me.
Selena reached out to touch him too, but then she realized with a sudden fear that neither of them were connected by a lifeline. The bodies they had left behind wouldn’t be breathing. They were both in grave danger.
46
With such a long way to travel, Taimin wasn’t sure if he and Selena would make it back before their bodies were starved of air. They had to return to the land below, leaving behind the moon and the stars and the curve of the sky’s outer layer.
The world was dark. It was hard to make out the wasteland, that small part of the sphere that wasn’t burned black by the effect of two suns. There was nothing beyond the firewall but death.
Or so Taimin thought, until the fiery edge of the red sun Lux burst over the rim of the world.
The crimson orb bathed the landscape in swiftly spreading light. The false dawn revealed something impossible. From his incredible height, Taimin couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
A black line surrounded the wasteland, which was marked out as an oval-shaped region of rust-colored terrain. But outside the wasteland, there wasn’t scorched earth. There wasn’t death.
There was life.
Vast stretches of water pushed up against gigantic landmasses. Silver rivers carved their way through lush forests. Icy white caps crowned proud mountains. Taimin saw yellow deserts and grassy plains, blue lakes, broad highlands, and networks of islands. The color green was more dominant than any other.
Beyond the firewall, there was supposed to be nothing at all. That was what Taimin had always believed. Everyone believed it. It was such a part of ordinary life that the vista below went against everything he had ever known.
His world wasn’t what he thought it was.
It was beautiful.
Taimin and Selena opened their eyes at the same time. They coughed and choked as their chests heaved with every lungful of air.
Rei-kika let out a sigh of relief. Griff raised his head and parted his jaws. His wings made a crackling sound as they fluttered.
But even as Taimin regained his breath and experienced a strange sense of reconnection with his body, there was one pressing thought overwhelming everything else.
He faced Selena. “Did you see?” he asked urgently.
“I saw it.” Selena’s expression was stunned. Taimin stood, taking her hand at the same time and pulling her to her feet. Rei-kika clambered up and looked from face to face, while Selena shook her head. “I still can’t believe it,” she said.
“What is it?” the mantorean asked. Her antennae twitched back and forth. “What did you see?”
“I could describe it to you, but better yet, I’ll show you.” Selena’s eyes glazed, but then she frowned. “I can’t reach my power.” She looked worried. “What’s happened to me?”
“You have been gone from your body for a long time,” Rei-kika said. “It may have affected your power.”
“Just tell her,” Taimin said.
Selena explained what they had seen from the place where the sky met the void beyond. The firewall wasn’t the boundary of the inhabitable part of the world, where the wasteland brushed against the area scorched by the two suns.
Instead, the firewall was an actual barrier, separating the wasteland from the world that surrounded it. On the firewall’s other side was a paradise.
Rei-kika became pensive. “I have to share this with Blixen. It is right that all the races know. And . . .” The mantorean hesitated. “Selena, I have been too long from my eggs. I must leave you here.”
“You should meet Elsa—” Taimin began.
Rei-kika shook her head. “For the moment, all I want to know is that my eggs are safe. But I may return. Be well. I hope to see you both soon.”
Without another word or glance, the mantorean walked away with her curious g
ait. Taimin followed her with his eyes. It would be strange for people to see the mantorean walking alone to the city gates. A few would stare, but Elsa’s followers would make sure that no one challenged her. Perhaps even soon, under new leadership, the other races would be a common sight in Zorn.
Taimin watched until Rei-kika was gone.
And then, moving at the same time, he and Selena faced each other.
Under the light of the moon and countless stars, Taimin took Selena’s hands. She came forward and wrapped her arms around him, and he held her body against his. He thought about how much they had both been through.
At last, they were standing together in the white city.
They began to talk.
Taimin learned about everything that had happened to Selena. She told him about her time in the Rift Valley and then in the tower, and he learned about Ruth. In turn, he explained how he had searched for her after escaping the skalen, leading to his capture by Galen.
Blixen had found his wife and taken his vengeance. The Protector and Galen were dead.
They were both at the side of the sandy floor, and at first Taimin didn’t notice some newcomers enter the arena. He heard voices and turned to see three figures walking toward them.
“You’re not an easy man to find,” Vance said. “If some people hadn’t said they saw a wyvern, we’d still be looking for you. Elsa wants you. She said it’s important.”
Lars’s eyes moved from Taimin to Selena and back again. Big and bald, with a thick black beard, he appeared the same as ever. Taimin realized that it was the first time that he, Selena, and Lars had been together in a long time.
“Good,” Lars grunted. “You found each other. About time.”
“This is Ruth,” Vance said, indicating the young woman with short auburn hair beside him. “She says she’s a healer.”
“I am a healer.” Ruth scowled at him.
A Girl From Nowhere Page 37
