It wasn’t fear and fighting and whatever the hell those wolves on the edge of the forest wanted from us. Love was strength, and strength was power. I’d learned from years of yoga that power didn’t have to be proven with claws and blood. Sometimes, silence spoke the loudest. I could teach that lesson to every class on the mat, but could I make it resonate in the forest on a full moon?
After all these years, I finally realized what my role was in the Sawtooth pack. I had to bring these wolves peace.
But first, I had to bring my wolf to the surface. I forced myself to break the kiss. Seeing Carlos heavy-lidded and lust-drunk was the reward for my decision, and it would’ve been too easy to go back for more. To see what it would be like to take it one more step. But we had an audience of wolves, some not-so-friendly wolves closing in on us, and I had a head wound and a team of babysitters who were probably more than ready to get back to their own mates.
“I’m feeling better,” I said.
His swollen lips spread into a slow grin that made muscles deep in my core pulse. He still had me pressed against him, and I wondered if he could feel the way I reacted to him.
I could definitely feel the way he reacted to me.
“You look better,” he said. “Do you think you can shift?”
“I want to.”
He kissed my temple. “Channel the moon energy. She won’t let you down.”
The full moon was technically two days away. To a mere mortal, it wouldn’t make much of a difference. But to my she-wolf, it was everything. Well, it should’ve been. Too many moons had been ignored.
“You’ll heal if you shift, even if you can’t stay wolf long.” I couldn’t tell Rick and Javier apart in their animal forms yet.
“But what if we don’t get all the way back?” I pulled away from Carlos. He couldn’t shift for me. I had to do this on my own.
Taking a few steps forward, I imagined myself as a wolf. Pictured myself running through the snow without a care in the world.
Heat should’ve been building inside me. My skin should’ve stretched, and my bones were supposed to crack to rearrange themselves. My hands should’ve turned black, claws emerging from my fingers. But none of that was happening.
I felt like I was trapped inside cement. Like my she-wolf couldn’t breathe.
It made human me gulp the cold forest air. My heart was pounding. I couldn’t give up. But I knew my body. And this shift wasn’t coming. I fell to my knees in the snow and covered my face with my hands. If being marooned on the side of a mountain with enemy wolves closing in wasn’t enough to kickstart a transformation, wishing on the moon or a whole army of stars wouldn’t make a difference.
Heat surrounded me. For a moment, I thought it was my shift, but it was Carlos. He pulled me into his arms, and the illusion of safety I felt there was dangerous. Once these wolves figured out our location, I’d be a liability.
“I can’t do it.” My words shook. “I can’t call my wolf.”
He smoothed his hand over my hair. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not!” That last word came out too loud. If those wolves were indeed looking for us, I just gave them a bullseye. “I can’t stay here for another two days while my wolf takes her sweet-ass time showing up. I want to go home. I have to get back to my daughter.”
Hazel would freak out if she woke up and I wasn’t there.
Carlos looked at the two wolves who stood on either side, like they were our bodyguards. “We’ve got to get down the mountain. The snowmobile isn’t far from here. It’s low on gas, but it will get us most of the way.”
“The snow might be too deep for it,” one of the wolves said. Now that I was feeling a little better, I was pretty sure it was Rick. “It will slow you way down.”
“We’ll ride it as long as we can.”
“Too dangerous,” Javier said. “If you wind up on foot, you’ve got no way to keep her warm. No food, no water. And there’s only so long the batteries on these devices will track us.”
“We face all the same dangers here.”
“Stay with her,” Carlos grunted to the wolves and went back inside the cabin to get the rest of our clothes. My jacket was still sticky with blood. He didn’t have one.
“Where are your clothes?” All he had was his jeans and his boots. Not a complaint, but there was only so warm those muscles could keep him. Even with all that delicious heat rolling off his body.
“Lost them in the accident. It was more important to get you here.”
“You’ll freeze to death.”
“I’ll shift if I have to.” He offered me his hand.
The snow was deep and the flakes disorientating. We only had the moon to light the way.
The walk wasn’t easy. Not even for the wolves. The snow had gotten much deeper since we rode through here. I should’ve never brought Carlos this deep into the mountains.
At least the howling had stopped.
But Carlos and the two wolves kept looking behind them. Anyone who found our trail could easily find us.
“We need to pick up the pace,” Javier grunted. “They’re close.”
“Can you smell them?” Carlos tightened his grip on my hand.
He didn’t have to answer. The snow camouflaged their footfalls, but there was no hiding the snarling and growling that was right behind us.
Oh, shit.
Carlos hoisted me off my feet and broke into a run. Javier and Rick circled us, joining in on the snarling. I was holding these wolves back. Waves of nausea rode over me as my body jostled from Carlos’ quick pace over the rocky terrain. We had to be close to the snowmobiles. Had to be. But there was no way I could drive. I could barely see straight.
But I could see well enough to know those extra wolves that had appeared weren’t triple vision.
“I told you to stay the fuck away from her.” That growl was all too familiar.
“Tate, no.” I struggled in Carlos’ arms. “Put me down.”
“I can’t do that, Willow.” He tightened his grip, but he set my feet down in the snow.
“If we do it your way, not everyone will make it off this mountain.”
Carlos didn’t dispute that claim. Tate snickered. I glared at him, in a way that only years of practice and holding my tongue could hone.
“More violence isn’t the answer.” I hoped he didn’t catch my voice shaking.
“Tell your alpha that,” Tate said. “The one who makes all the promises and never thinks about what he’s destroyed.”
His gaze landed on Carlos.
“Some of us are willing to lose what we have so we can have a new life.”
The wolves who accompanied Tate snickered at my claim. “Your mate is awfully mouthy.”
I recognized them as his awful friends. One of them bought Luna, but she hadn’t played by the rules. He never got his filthy paws on her. The other one was the ‘mate’ of my former best friend, who chose to stay with him after Shadow gave us our freedom.
“I like it,” Carlos says. “Unlike other wolves, I’m not afraid to have a strong woman by my side.”
“He wasn’t fucking talking to you.” Tate lunged toward Carlos. Heat surged through his body, and his muscles tensed.
He was shifting.
I pushed away from him, landing in the snow.
A tangle of claws and fur twisted through the snow. I couldn’t breathe. Wolves didn’t walk away from disagreements like this. Not if they lost.
“We have to stop them,” I said, but no one was listening to me. Both wolves were on the wrong side of this fight. And no matter who won, I’d be the one to pay the price.
So if none of these wolves were willing to do the right thing, it was time for me to step it the fuck up.
My body heat surged, and this time, I let myself melt into my she-wolf. That concrete barrier that had been poured around my true nature: the good girl who did the right thing even when she hated it, the one who’d let herself be sold like a trophy to a rich man, and
played the perfect little wife for too long—all those things were in opposition with the message I wanted to give Hazel.
Fur blossomed. My skin split. I tipped my head back and howled.
Tate stopped dead in his tracks, and Carlos wouldn’t give up an opportunity like that. He sunk his fangs into the soft skin of Tate’s scruff.
“No!” I was barely full she-wolf when I lunged at them, wedging my body between them.
Blood stained Tate’s fur. “You’ll fight for me, princess?”
“Don’t call me that. I’m not fighting for you. I’m fighting for Hazel. She needs to understand that she can have two men in her life who don’t see eye to eye and can settle their problems without killing each other.”
Blood dripped from Carlos’ snout. Those gray eyes had turned black in battle. Fury flickered in them, but there was also a deep knowing satisfaction that he’d won this fight.
“He’ll never be in my daughter’s life,” Tate growled. “He’s Shadow Channing’s paid thug.”
“He’s my true mate.”
But I had to stop him from killing Tate.
“I’ll never let this wolf have you, princess. If it’s the last thing I do.”
Chapter Sixteen
Carlos
Mate.
That sweet word from Willow’s lips was enough to make me forget the bitter taste of Tate’s blood burning my tongue. But I hesitated to look away from him and give this moment everything it deserved because my foe would take advantage of that.
He should’ve fought for this woman long ago.
“You let your mate fight your battles for you?” Tate asked, mocking that word that had been so sweet coming from Willow’s tongue. On the bright side, he’d admitted he lost. Even if he was the one who walked out of this forest alive, he’d admitted Willow was my mate. “Does your alpha know you hide behind a woman?”
“This isn’t my battle. It’s Willow’s. It always has been. Every member of this pack deserves respect.” I’d just referred to myself as Sawtooth pack. It was a dangerous move, even if it wasn’t even close to the most shocking one of the night. “I trust that she can handle you. If not, then I’ll step in and make sure she gets her point across.”
“I don’t want that to happen. Tate, I want you to be a part of Hazel’s life. You’re her dad. She loves you. But I’ve felt things with Carlos—”
“I bet you have,” he scoffed.
“Things I never felt with you.” That got some snickers from our audience. “I want that for you, too. To feel what it’s like when you truly find your mate because I know I didn’t give it to you. I went through the motions, doing what I was told, because I didn’t have any other choice. You deserve a woman who’s happy to wake up next to you every morning and go to sleep with you every night. That isn’t me. It never was, and it never will be.”
Tate dipped his head. With those words, she’d slain him. But it didn’t last long. He glared at me.
“Shadow expects you to kill me. How long do you think he’ll let you stick around when you didn’t get the job done?”
A definite concession. “I’ll handle Shadow. But it doesn’t mean my job is done.”
“Go home, Willow,” Tate said. “Go home to our daughter. You’ve positioned yourself on the wrong side of this pack. Hazel will always be safe, but I can’t guarantee that for you anymore.”
“Good thing, because I can.” I wanted to nuzzle against Willow to show Tate once and for all that she belonged to me. But I was still covered in his blood, and she deserved better than that.
“No more trouble, Tate. I’m not afraid of you anymore.” Willow huffed out a hard breath and turned to walk away.
Turning our backs on these wolves was dangerous. All the years we’d been on the run, I’d wanted peace. But I didn’t know how to embody the gentle grace that Willow had. I had a lot to learn from my new mate.
Sarah had brought her to me for a reason.
Tate turned around, his wolves following until the blackness of the forest swallowed him. The snow had let up, but not before making a profound mark on the evening. Getting through it was much easier like this, but I looked over my shoulder all the way down the mountain. Tate wasn’t above throwing a sucker punch.
“You were amazing up there,” I said as I trotted alongside Willow. We’d bypassed the snowmobiles and decided to go straight for my truck. It was a quicker way down the mountain.
“The hardest thing was admitting I was afraid of him,” she said. “For my sanity, I lied to myself for so long and said everything was okay. Because it had to be. But tonight, you showed me things could be so much different. I want that, for all of us. We deserve happiness.”
“We do.”
She turned to me, letting Javier and Rick go ahead of us. “He won’t let you just come in and be my mate without a fight. You humiliated him. As much as I want to think this is over, I know it isn’t.”
“Wolves like that don’t just go away.”
“You’re part of this pack now. You’re my mate.” She was still in the same spot. I stopped. “I didn’t say that for show. I meant it with every beat of my heart.”
Lightness came over me, like I could float away with one of the snowflakes. “Once we’re human again, I’ll kiss you like you deserve to be kissed. If I do it now, you’ll taste Tate on me, and I won’t give him that satisfaction.”
We both knew this conflict with Tate wasn’t over. And there was no guarantee if he planned to honor his ex-wife’s request in the long term. If he’d bait me into making an impossible choice.
I’d choose my mate. For the first time, I dared to think about the future, even if it was the promise of the next date she was teasing me with. A chance to see so much more of her under better circumstances. To kiss more than her lips and to set her truly free.
I wanted that so fucking bad.
But was I prepared to take the risk when I knew what it felt like to lose it all?
Chapter Seventeen
Willow
“Mommy, you’re a wolf.” Hazel’s cheeks were tear-stained as she ran over to hug me.
I wished I was human so I could hug her back, and make those quiet sobs stop. It was no secret things hadn’t gone as planned. Not only were Stephanie and Tessa here, along with Marcus and Matteo, but we’d passed people in town who weren’t happy to share Main Street sidewalk with a ragtag, bloodied pack of wolves.
Not exactly the public relations Shadow had in mind. But there was no use pretending we were just like humans because we weren’t. We were animals with our own rules and traditions. And we weren’t going to keep them a secret anymore.
We were important too.
“It’s the full moon. That’s when we shift.” I’d never had a chance to read my daughter the Legend of the Sawtooth Mates, like my mom had read to me so many nights. There was so much she didn’t understand about her true nature, and what she was capable of.
She pulled away from me, her face red and splotchy. It broke my heart that I did that to her. I’d been reckless, thinking only of my own happiness. But I was here now, and it was my job to make sure she wasn’t afraid of anything.
“Who are the other wolves?” she whispered loudly. “Elvira doesn’t like them.”
Because the cat knew a stone-cold predator when she saw one. But I didn’t say that. “These are my friends. Carlos, Javier, and Rick. We got lost in the forest and caught in a surprise snowstorm. That’s why we’re late.”
And I had to stop these wolves from killing your father... but that was a story for another time.
She continued studying them. “Which one did you go on a date with?”
I looked back at the three wolves who’d made sure I got back to Hazel safely. At the beginning of the night, I’d had my doubts about when—if ever—I’d introduce my daughter to Carlos. But now he was my mate. Not exactly how I would’ve planned, but I wouldn’t have it any other way now.
After I nodded, Carlos stepped forward a
nd Hazel gasped. “You’re covered with blood.”
“We had a little accident.” I hated lying to her. But the Tate situation was complicated, and I was too tired to navigate it. “This is Carlos. He’s originally from the Wyoming pack, but now he’s a Sawtooth wolf.”
That got some murmurs of surprise. I didn’t go so far as to announce him as my mate. Not yet. Emotions had been running as high as the mountain range, and I wanted to give Carlos a chance to think things over now that we were back to our normal lives.
If this could be considered normal.
“You look just like your mom,” he said, which got an eye roll out of Hazel.
“Not when she’s a wolf,” she protested.
“Someday, you’ll be a wolf too.” His gaze fell to me for a moment, and I loved watching him with her. How gentle he was. “I’d like to take your mom out again, when we’re human. Maybe then your cat will like me better.”
“Elvira’s gonna be famous.”
“You will too,” Carlos nudged Hazel’s arm.
Tessa gasped, clapping her hand over her heart. “I’m so glad I’m recording this. One of you can translate for the subtitles, right? Not that we need them. I have no idea what you’re saying, and I’m totally captivated.”
“Wait ‘til we translate.” Jasmine fanned herself and put her arm around Marcus, her mate.
I had to keep reminding myself this is what I signed up for. To have every single detail of my life recorded. And something told me I’d be watching the exchange between Hazel and Carlos over and over.
Carlos turned back to me “The sun’s up. I have a meeting with Shadow at the Channing Reserve in a few hours. And we have plenty to talk about.”
Morning. Oh, crap. “I have to teach a yoga class this morning.”
He nudged his snout against mine. His eyes were gray again. “I want to see you again. Soon.”
“I’d like that.”
Carlos didn’t linger, turning away and motioning for the wolves to follow him out of the apartment.
He’d make me want him, and let me have him, on my terms.
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