Becoming a Real Werewife changed my life. Not only because this wolf was the real deal in the mate department, but because it challenged every single thing I thought I knew about being a member of this pack.
Tonight I’d meet Carlos at the Sun Valley Saloon. It felt indulgent, considering what was on the line this full moon. But I had a feeling Carlos was out to make a statement tonight.
Tate had brought me there often to sit beside him and laugh at his jokes while he entertained his business associates. The company had been painfully dull, but the food had been amazing. The atmosphere was perfect for a date, with the fancy tablecloths and a big stone fireplace that was always crackling. It was only now I realized how much I’d longed to be there with someone else.
“How are you feeling?” Tessa asked, pointing her handheld camera at me.
“Excited.” All I’d been able to think of was Carlos. “How do I look?”
After many texts with Luna, I decided on a black flowered sundress and made it seasonally appropriate with a chunky open-knit cardigan, a thick belt, tights, and boots. And my absolute best bra and panty set, because I had a feeling those would be getting a viewing tonight. Tate never cared about stuff like that, but Carlos needed to know someone cared about him enough to put in the extra effort.
“You look super cute,” Tessa said.
I frowned. “Not drop dead sexy and sure to have this wolf’s tongue wagging?”
“Sort of, but that’s not exactly who you are. You have this earth mama quality which is sexy in an entirely different way.” Tessa laughed. “Tell me what you’re thinking about before you go meet Carlos.”
“Is this like the confessional? Because we’re in my living room.” In the first season of the show, the Werewives were usually shown against a pink backdrop when they made their confessions. But this season was our story. The house was so quiet. Hazel and Elvira had gone to a sleepover at Trina and Shadow’s house for the night. That meant I had carte blanche to stay out all night if I wanted to, but more importantly, it meant that if anyone wanted to try any funny business with my kid while I was otherwise occupied they’d have to get through our pack alpha to do it.
“We adapt on this show.” Tessa chuckled. “Stop stalling, because there’s a hungry wolf waiting to take you out tonight.”
My own she-wolf growled in anticipation. I didn’t think we’d shift on this date, even though it was the full moon, and my wolf was more than available. She simply wanted her mate.
“How am I feeling?” I had too much energy to sit down and I paced in the living room, drawn to the window that overlooked Main Street. Twilight had fallen over Granger Falls, and lights twinkled from the businesses below. “I feel connected. Like I’m finally part of the pack. Those protesters, and the vandalism at my studio would’ve happened this week no matter what. Luna’s always had my back, but she’s an outsider too. I finally don’t feel like it’s me against the rest of the wolves in Sawtooth Forest.”
“Interesting, because Carlos is an outsider too.”
“Carlos wants to belong.” At first I worried I said too much, but by the time this aired, there was no question he’d be a member of this pack. He was my mate. “He makes me feel like I have power. I’ve never had that before. And I’ve met so many people in the pack who will do pretty much anything to help me find my mate. They want me to be happy. I never felt like that was important to anyone before.”
One of the reasons Tessa was such an amazing reporter was because she gave a shit about everyone she talked to. Her sadness was clear, resonating in her eyes.
“I’m glad that even if, for some reason, you and Carlos didn’t wind up together, I might have had a hand in making you feel that way. She-wolves like you are the future of this pack. They need more voices that can diffuse violence. The pack won’t survive if they keep destroying each other.”
“No one understands that the quiet ones can be strong too.” I wrapped my sweater around my body tightly. “But it’s time for me to make my voice heard. And meet up with one hot wolf for dinner because I am starving.”
“I’m the last person who will keep you from hot wolves and good food.” She laughed. “Let’s go.”
Carlos was waiting for us in the parking lot when we pulled in. Stephanie was with him, filming as he leaned against her Werewife van, looking fine as hell. I was fogging up the window because I wanted to get closer to him, even as Tessa parked the van.
I didn’t wait for her to accompany me across the parking lot. Something about tonight was different. Magical. Maybe it was the moon. She could be as magical as she was deadly. But I wasn’t scared or nervous or wondering if I was doing the wrong thing anymore.
His face lit up when he saw me, and he pushed away from the side of the van. All glorious wolf. He wore black pants and a black leather jacket. A white button-down shirt was underneath it, slightly open at the neck. His long hair fell freely over his shoulders. And those silver eyes glowed like the full moon that shone over us.
I thought he’d kiss me. More like, I craved the taste of his lips with every fiber of my being. But he didn’t. And I liked that too, that he was willing to let the anticipation build until it made us both crazy. His gaze raked over me, so hot it practically left smoke in its wake. Tonight was definitely different, and he felt it too.
“You look fucking amazing,” he finally said.
“Thanks.” Before I’d been fishing for sexy from Tessa, but a fucking amazing from Carlos hit the bullseye. “So do you.”
He put his hand protectively on my back as he led me inside. We had a reservation, and I wasn’t surprised that heads turned and conversation stopped as we passed through the dining room. Maybe they’d heard Tate’s side of the story about what happened in the forest the other night, but now they had mine.
Our booth was in the back corner, semi-circular, and illuminated by candlelight. Carlos and I slid into the middle, and Tessa and Stephanie took the chairs at the end. Tonight, we had no chance of escaping their cameras.
But I longed to be alone with Carlos again.
Menus had been laid in front of us, but I hadn’t touched mine.
“What are you thinking about?” Carlos asked.
“You sound like Tessa,” I teased. “Did she tell you to say that?”
He shook his head. “No. I really want to know.”
I couldn’t even remember the last time Tate had asked me that. I had to stop comparing this wolf to my ex. It wasn’t fair, because Carlos trounced him in every category, but it was an awakening for me. My eyes burned as I forced myself to say the words out loud. “You make me feel like I matter.”
Candlelight flickered in those gray eyes, but it didn’t hide the emotion.
“You have no idea what you mean to people.” He put his hand over mine. The heat radiated through my body. “You’re a great mom, everyone who was in your yoga class was able to do amazing things, based on your guidance. You know what my favorite part of the class was? When we all laid down at the end and you got that entire room to actually fucking relax. And you took the time to touch every single person in there, then you thanked them all for coming.”
I grinned and wiped the tear that escaped away from my cheek. “Savasana is the gateway drug to yoga. It’s how I get them to come back. That five minutes when they can do absolutely nothing.”
“No, they come back for you.” His words were soft. “Because you made them felt like they mattered. You make me feel like I matter. I’ve spent seven years in the shadows, pissed that I could never get back what I lost. Never did I think I could have something else until you came into my life.”
“You were ready to try again.”
A little growl slipped from his lips. It did things to my inner muscles, especially my heart. “I’ll never be ready to start again, Willow. Not even now. But you made it okay to want things that are scary as hell. You took a chance on me and trusted me even though you weren’t ready to move on either. I know you still have
feelings for Tate, even if they’re nowhere near the same as you have for me. That bond never goes away.”
“I was ready, but I had no idea things could be so good.” I’d felt like I’d stripped down to something much more than naked. I’d handed Carlos my soul in this dimly lit booth, and in return, he trusted me with his. I’d never let it go.
“When we were on the mountain the other night, I really saw you for the first time. The wild, brave she-wolf you are. I loved that you wanted to show me all your favorite places and that you totally let go.”
“Because you make me feel safe. Like I can jump, and you’ll catch me.”
“You don’t need anyone to catch you, Willow. Let yourself fly.” He leaned in and brushed his lips against mine.
“Fly with me.”
Chapter Twenty
Carlos
“I’ll follow you anywhere.” And I meant it. It took all the self-control I had not to take her in my arms and kiss her in the middle of this restaurant. Without looking at Tessa or Stephanie, I knew they were begging me to do it because it would be good for the show. But if I did it, I couldn’t—wouldn’t—stop with a kiss.
I’d felt a little foolish booking a room at the inn that was attached to the Saloon, that came complete with a hot tub, much to the production staff of The Real Werewives’ delight. But now it seemed like a necessity.
The waitress came, breaking the intense energy between us. It didn’t disappear, but we had to hold onto it for a little longer. The next time those emotions came to the surface, they wouldn’t be expressed with words.
We ordered steak and shrimp and mashed potatoes and Brussels sprouts and sweet wine to accompany it.
“What are the next steps for your relationship?” Tessa asked when we got too quiet.
Willow looked toward me, smiling as she finished the bite in her mouth. “I’d like you to meet Hazel again, without a crisis breaking out. She hasn’t stopped asking me about you.”
“Oh yeah?” When I dared to picture our future, because it was still such a fragile concept for me, Hazel was in it. But I didn’t know what my role would be. An acquaintance or a father figure. I was all in, but it was up to Willow and her daughter to decide what that meant. “What does she want to know?”
“Who you are, what you do, if you want to be famous, if you like cats, what you like to eat, basically, she wants to know everything about you. Nine-year-olds ask a lot of questions. At least, mine does.”
I loved it. I missed that energy. More than anything, I missed the innocence, and I was glad that Willow had been able to shield her daughter from the harsher aspects of the pack, especially when her own decisions had come under fire. “What do you tell her?”
“I answered the basics, and then I told her that she can ask you anything that I can’t answer.” She took a long sip of wine and sighed. “I hope that you can show her a different side of the pack than her father does. I still haven’t decided how to handle that.”
“I know you’ll do the right thing.” I didn’t know what it was yet, but I’d stand by her when she did it. “You’re level-headed and brave, and you and Hazel are close.”
Another sip of wine. This was making her uncomfortable. “It’s not me I’m worried about. It’s Tate.”
“The pack will take care of anything you can’t.” I wouldn’t let him third wheel on this date. I had to make her forget all about him, if only for a night. “Ready to go?”
Her face brightened. “Where are we going?”
I looked to Tessa, who nodded. I didn’t need her approval, but it was nice to have someone there to keep me on the right track. “I rented a room.”
Her lips parted and the candlelight reflected in her eyes ignited.
“It has a hot tub. Not quite the hot springs, but as close as I can get, staying in town.” I would have loved to bring her to the hot springs, and someday I would. But not on this full moon weekend when tensions were still so high and the situation with Tate unsettled.
A seductive smile spread across her face. “I really wanted my episode to have hot tub time. I wouldn’t have felt like a Real Werewife without it.”
“We have bathing suits in the truck,” Stephanie said.
“Let’s lay the ground rules while you two can still focus on things like that.” Tessa shut off her camera and set it on the table. “We’ll come with you to get the establishing shot. Once it’s clear that you need some alone time, we leave. If we don’t quite get the hint, all you have to do is look straight into the camera. But we don’t go too far. If you decide you want to leave, we’ll be in the vans working on the footage.”
“So no Werewife left behind.” Willow giggled. “I don’t think that will be a problem.”
My rock hard cock made it hard to get out of the booth and walk through the restaurant. All eyes were still on us, and I liked it. I tightened my grip on Willow’s hand, and when I looked at her, she was beaming.
Damn, this woman was proud to be seen with me. It was a heady moment, because it was chased by a twinge of guilt. I was moving on. But I knew Sarah was smiling down on us. The two women were so different, but they both brought out the best in me.
Stephanie handed us a shoulder bag before we headed to the room.
It was a small suite, with room for us both to change without showing more than we were ready to. The hot tub was in the bedroom. I climbed in as the water filled the tub, letting the steam rise around me. I closed my eyes, wishing I could tell Tessa and Stephanie to leave now. That I could look down the barrel of that camera and they’d know.
The creak of the bathroom door made my eyes snap open. The camera crew went to work as Willow took a couple of tentative steps into the room. She wore a black bikini top, but she’d tied a colorful scarf around her hips. I knew from holding her, from going to the yoga class, that her body was beautiful, but to see this much of her, so raw and honest as she slowly approached the tub, was a completely different experience.
She dipped her toe in and smiled down at me in a way that brought every single inch of me on point. It was a promise of so much more.
“Aren’t you coming in?” I asked when she didn’t move.
“I am.” The words had hesitation. “But I’m afraid once I get in there, I won’t be able to keep my hands off you, and we have an audience.”
“Give us a minute of PG-13 and then we’ll go down to the vans,” Tessa said.
Willow swallowed hard. “My daughter will see this.”
“Then make it PG.”
Closing her eyes for a long blink, Willow loosened the knot that held the fabric around her hips. She folded it and put it on the table beside the tub. Her body was lean, but she had soft curves and white lines etched in her skin that made my wolf growl.
Steam curled around her as she stepped into the water. She sank down, moving her arms in the water as she settled. Her breathing was deep, measured, relying on the things she’d talked about in yoga to keep her calm. To get enough of a snippet for the cameras that wouldn’t scandalize Hazel before she let go.
It took everything I had to keep my hands off her.
“Someday I want to bring you back to the hot springs. This is good, but those are magical.”
“We can make magic here.”
She pressed her lips together. “That should sound like a cheesy pick up line, but the funny thing is, I believe you can do it, wolf.”
“We’ve got everything we need,” Tessa said, rising from the edge of the bed. Stephanie followed suit. “We’re down in the van if you need us.”
I think Willow held her breath until the door closed behind them. I know I did.
Our gazes locked. “I like being alone with you, Carlos,” she said.
I was trying to take this slow. There were so many things to savor. Like the way her hair curled with the steam. The way the droplets of water made her skin glow. The way her cleavage rose out of the water with every breath she took. And especially the way she licked her lips befo
re she leaned forward to kiss me.
She reached for me, putting her fingers under my chin. “The first night we met, you said you’d let me decide when I was ready for you. That all I had to do was name the place and you’d be there.”
It was hard to breathe, I wanted this woman so badly. “I remember saying that.”
“I’m ready, Carlos.” She reached back and unhooked her bikini top. Hot damn, I didn’t see that coming. Not this soon anyway. But I was not fucking complaining. “I’m so ready.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Willow
I might have been moving too fast, but time did funny things when I was with Carlos. It moved at the speed of light, and then not at all. It didn’t matter though. He was my mate. And there was no other way to quell the undeniable tension that had existed between us since I first bumped into him at The Redheaded Stepchild. Everything in our relationship had been leading up to this moment. I could argue my whole life had been leading up to this moment.
My mate was about to claim me.
I’d learned a lot about myself in the short time I’d been alone. There was a big difference between wishing upon a star and making my dreams come true. I had to learn who I was and find my passion. It was being a she-wolf in every sense of the word. I realized it as I tore through the forest on the snowmobile the other night. My wolf wanted to be free. She wanted to be brave. She wanted to give zero fucks when someone held a sign up that said she wasn’t worthy of having everything she wanted because she was different. Because she dared to speak up. She’d always wanted to teach her daughter all these things and now she finally knew how.
Carlos didn’t complete me, but he helped me find the door where all my wildest dreams had been patiently waiting for me. I was finally ready to live them. And I wanted this man by my side when I did it because he knew what it was like to have hope stolen from him. He knew what it meant to keep fighting even when it wasn’t easy, because it was the right thing to do.
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