by Mari Carr
For months, she’d dismissed them, convincing herself Trey was a player. What the hell did he know about love? She’d been a hundred times the fool and now she was right back where she’d started from. How could she have fucked up so badly?
Why couldn’t Trey leave well enough alone? They had a good thing going. She’d learned from her painful experience that moving in together was only one step away from definite heartbreak. She refused to let herself get sucked into another relationship with a man well known for his inability to commit. The familiar saying Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…came to mind.
She wasn’t going to play the fool for another man. Wasn’t going to start dreaming of white weddings and babies and forever only to come home one day to find some skanky bitch in Trey’s bed.
Trey hadn’t said more than three words to her since the first pitch was thrown. They’d made plans to meet here for the game yesterday. She’d wanted to bail, but she’d promised two of her students who were on the team she’d attend. She hated to disappoint them. Now she was sitting in the stands with an angry boyfriend and no way to make him happy again. She simply couldn’t give him what he wanted.
Grace reached over and placed a hand on her knee. “You’re shaking the bleachers with that bouncing leg of yours, Ellie. Neither one of these teams is headed for the playoffs, so there’s no reason to be nervous.”
Whenever she was anxious, her leg bounced a mile a minute. Most of the time she didn’t even realize she was doing it. Like now. “Sorry. I think it’s just the rivalry between Preston and Harper’s Ridge getting to me,” she lied. She didn’t give a shit who won the ballgame.
Trey snorted quietly, but the sound let her know he didn’t buy her words. It also told her he was still pissed off.
“I’m going to go get a bottle of water.” She needed to walk off some of her nervous energy. She’d just reached the bottom of the bleachers when she felt a hand on her lower back.
“Ellie.”
Trey had followed her. Her temper flared. She wasn’t ready to have this discussion and she sure as hell wasn’t going to have it at a girls’ softball game.
If he wanted to be mad at her, fine. Two could play that game.
“What?” she snapped, wincing at her harsh tone.
Trey scowled. “You’re coming out of your skin. Don’t you think we should talk about it?”
She shrugged. “Don’t be silly. I’m fine. I’ve just—”
“Don’t,” he said darkly. “Don’t make up some bullshit excuse. I know what’s wrong with you and I know why you’re pissed off.”
“Well, that’s great. Saves me from having to spell it out for you.” She turned, hoping he’d take the hint and leave her alone. She wasn’t proud of her actions or her tone, but she didn’t seem capable of reining it in.
“Perfect solution, Ellie. Things get a little tense so you run. Nice to see you reverting to character here.”
She spun around, furious. “Let me tell you something, Donovan. I’m not the one who’s running. I’m being practical. I’m proceeding with caution. You’re the one constantly rushing to the next part.”
Trey glanced around and she flushed. They were in a very public place surrounded by colleagues and students. Christ, she really was back where she started. The idea of losing another job she loved paralyzed her for a moment. Her voice seized up.
Oh my God. What have I done?
“Ellie,” he said, his voice quieter. “We shouldn’t do this here.”
She nodded once in agreement, but her body felt so tense, she feared even that slight movement would shatter her into a million pieces.
He took a step closer. “Just tell me exactly what it is we’re doing, Ellie. Are you breaking things off?”
Her breath caught. Was she? She hadn’t thought that far. Hell, she hadn’t thought at all. Ellie’s mind whirled as she felt the past few months come crashing down on top of her. “Trey, I—”
“Ellie?”
She turned, surprised by the familiar voice behind her. The second she saw her ex-boyfriend’s face, her journey to complete panic attack was complete. “Joel.”
Trey stiffened behind her.
Joel smiled widely and for a brief moment, she remembered his appeal. He was an extraordinarily handsome man. Pity his beauty was only skin deep. “I thought that was you. How have you been?”
She took a deep breath. She’d managed to avoid seeing the man, not laying eyes on him since her last day at Harper’s Ridge. She’d enjoyed the break and was sorry it hadn’t lasted longer. She pasted on a fake smile. She could do this. Just a few minutes more and she could escape. Get the hell out of here and get herself together. “Just fine.” Her voice sounded hollow, empty.
Trey cleared his throat.
“Oh,” she said, turning, forcing herself to play the part. “Joel Roberts, this is Trey Donovan. Trey, this is Joel.” She didn’t add more. While Joel had no idea who Trey was, she found it was really only Trey’s response she cared about.
Trey didn’t even bother with the niceties, merely nodding rather than smiling. Her ice-cold heart warmed slightly at his subtle snubbing in her defense. It was so Trey.
“Trey Donovan,” Joel repeated his name. “Oh hey, you’re the basketball coach, right?”
Trey nodded. “That’s me.”
“You had a pretty good season. Congratulations.” Joel turned back to her. “I was surprised to hear you took the assistant coaching job. Didn’t think you’d be happy playing second fiddle.”
She bristled, somehow finding her words. “Trey and I are a very good team. I enjoy coaching with him.”
Dawn appeared behind Joel. “Hey, baby. Oh, Ellie. Hello.”
Ellie’s smile felt like it was plastered to her face and all the feelings she’d spent the past year trying to put behind her resurfaced. If it had just been her, she could have dealt with this. Laughed it off. But Trey was there to witness it. She felt humiliated and stupid. “Hi, Dawn.”
Dawn put her arm through Joel’s. “I wondered who you were talking to. I’ve saved us a seat next to the assistant principal. You ready?”
“Sure. It was good to see you again, Ellie.”
Joel and Dawn strolled back to the other side’s stands. Ellie didn’t move as exhaustion kicked in.
“Ellie—” Trey began.
“Don’t.” The word felt like it was ripped from her gut. “I have to leave.” Tears sprang to her eyes. She was terrified of falling apart in front of Trey, Joel, Dawn—hell, half the student body of Preston. She couldn’t go there again. She couldn’t lose another job. She couldn’t waste another year of her life trying to find a way out of hell. She’d sworn she’d never go back there again, but in that moment, she knew she had. She’d lowered her guard, become too complacent, getting carried away by Trey’s sex appeal, his sense of humor, his generosity and compassion. She’d been sucked in, breaking every promise she’d made to herself along the way. She let herself forget the darkness, the misery, the humiliation.
Two minutes in Joel’s presence reminded her. She struggled to breathe, her lungs seizing up in pain. She had to get away from here. Away from Trey.
He reached out and touched her arm. His hand was as gentle as his soft voice. “I’ll go with you.”
She shook her head. Her pride couldn’t let him see her cry on top of everything else. It was bad enough he’d witnessed her stupidity. To break down in front of him…
“No. Please. I just want to be alone.”
She started walking away, never looking in Trey’s direction. She’d left her blanket in the bleachers, but she didn’t care. Grace would get it for her. She dug for her keys and managed to get into her car without letting the tears escape. Glancing back toward the field, she could see Trey standing exactly where she’d left him.
She brushed away the first tear as it rolled down her cheek, and started the car. She’d only made it as far as the edge of the parking lot when the rest of her tears fell.
Trey lifted the beer to his lips and then put it down before even taking a sip. Everything tasted like ash tonight. He’d watched Ellie drive away from the game, knowing she had his heart in her hands. Unfortunately, too many truths were piling up, forcing him to admit he’d lost her. Fuck. He’d never even had her.
He looked across the table at Jamie and Grace, reading the concern on their faces. He should have turned down their invitation to Tully’s. He was in no mood to celebrate Jamie’s win and he was ruining their night.
“I should go,” he said. “I’m killing the party.”
Grace reached out to take his hand. “This isn’t a party, Trey. It’s you, me and Jamie. I know something’s up with you and Ellie. Looks like you need some friends. What the hell happened?”
He shrugged. He wasn’t sure himself. He’d lost his temper this morning when she’d dodged his request that they move in together. “I pushed too hard. And not in the right direction.”
Jamie frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I asked her to move in with me.”
Jamie still looked confused, but Trey watched understanding dawn on Grace’s face.
“She ran away, didn’t she?” Grace asked.
“Why the hell would she do that?” Jamie leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. “You two have been all but shacked up for months now. You’re always sleeping over at one house or the other. Seems like all that’s left is to move the clothes and furniture and make it official.”
Trey would have agreed with all that this morning, but after seeing Ellie’s face this afternoon when they’d run into Joel, he wasn’t so sure. “I think she still has feelings for her ex.”
Grace reared back. “Why would you say that?”
“We ran into him at the softball game.”
Jamie scowled. “Wish you’d pointed him out to me. I wouldn’t have minded taking a swing at the prick.”
Grace grinned and took Jamie’s hand. “My knight in shining armor.”
Trey had felt the same way. It had taken all the strength in his body not to pound the guy into dust. He’d wanted to tell the asshole to get away from her, but Ellie’s face had stopped him. There was something in her forced smile that made him pause.
“She’s not still interested in him, Trey. Trust me.”
While Trey appreciated the strength of Grace’s assurances, he couldn’t dismiss the way she’d reacted after Dawn showed up and dragged the man away. She’d looked…devastated.
Trey ran a hand over his face. “I’m done, guys. With all of this. Love sucks.”
Grace laughed. “So you do love her.”
He looked at his friends and nodded miserably. “Of course I do.”
Jamie leaned back, grinning at him. “’Bout time you fell.”
“Figures I’d fall for a woman who doesn’t feel the same way. Starting to think this is karma’s way of kicking me in the ass.”
“I think you’re wrong about Ellie’s feelings.” Grace took Trey’s hand and squeezed it. “She had a bad experience with Joel and it’s made her leery to try again. I really think you just need to hang in there and give her time.”
Trey shrugged. He felt like he’d been slogging up this hill for a lifetime. Every time he nearly hit the peak, he’d get knocked back down to the base. He was starting to wonder if there even was a top to the mountain. “You realize this is your fault. Yours and Jamie’s.”
Jamie put down the beer he’d just picked up. “Our fault? How?”
“After that night we all spent together in bed, I realized I want what you two have. When you look at each other, it’s like the rest of the world disappears.”
“The three of you slept together?” Ellie’s voice took Trey by surprise.
He rose quickly, turning. Her face was a combination of misery and shock. “Ellie. What are you doing here?”
Grace piped up. “I texted her after the game and invited her to join us. I thought you two needed some time to patch things up. Trey, I didn’t see her walk in.” She turned toward Ellie “I didn’t mean for you to hear—”
Ellie raised her hand and Trey watched the anger she’d harbored all day resurface. “I came to apologize for my behavior, for being such a bitch, but I see you’ve found someone to comfort you. Two someones, apparently.” She turned to leave, but Trey stopped her, grasping her upper arm with his large hand.
“Ellie, wait,” Trey said.
“Please don’t leave until we’ve had a chance to explain,” Grace said, she and Jamie now standing as well.
Ellie didn’t move for a moment and Trey was certain he’d lost her for good.
“Please,” he whispered.
She walked toward the table and took her usual seat next to him. The move gave Trey hope.
“The three of you have had sex with each other?” Ellie asked.
Jamie took Grace’s hand and Trey knew his friends were as uncomfortable with this discussion as he was. They had never told another living soul about the one night they’d spent dabbling in a threesome.
“Well, I think we should make it perfectly clear that Trey and I had sex with Grace. Not each other.” Jamie’s voice was deadpan, the sound prompting a light laugh from Ellie. Just like that, his best friend had broken the ice.
“Thanks for clearing that up.” Ellie’s smile was tremulous, her face tense. The slight puffiness around her eyes told him she’d spent the afternoon crying, though she’d tried to hide that fact with makeup.
“It was a long time ago, Ellie, before Jamie and I started dating.” Grace looked at Trey nervously. She was worried he was angry with her for inviting Ellie and inadvertently opening this can of worms. Personally, Trey was glad this had happened. He’d wanted to tell Ellie about his one foray into a ménage for months, but he wasn’t sure how to start the conversation.
Trey gave Grace a reassuring smile and quick wink. “The two of them had been in love with each other forever, but they were too stubborn and set in their ways to admit it.”
“Hey,” Jamie interjected.
Grace waved her boyfriend off. “It’s the truth, Jamie, and you know it. Let the man explain.”
Trey chuckled and took Ellie’s hand. “One night after happy hour, we started discussing fantasies. When Grace admitted she’d like a ménage, I realized it might be the perfect way to break the ice between her and Jamie.”
Ellie raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “Most friends suggest a guy give a woman chocolates or flowers to show how they feel. They don’t recommend wooing by ménage.”
Trey squeezed her hand. “Touché. You’re right. Unfortunately, back then, I was a bit of a horn dog and I had the hots for Grace myself.”
Grace rolled her eyes and said, “A bit?” at the same time, Ellie said, “Back then?”
Jamie laughed, the sound prompting a smile from Ellie, though Trey could see she was still uneasy.
“It was only one night, Ellie, I swear. In the morning, I got out of bed and Jamie stayed.”
Jamie raised Grace’s hand and kissed it. “I’m still there. Thank God.”
Ellie nodded. “I understand. And it’s not like I can be pissed off at you for something you did before we ever met. It just sort of took me by surprise.”
“I hope this doesn’t change things between us, Ellie,” Grace said. “I’ve come to value our friendship this year. More than I can say.”
Ellie smiled. “I feel the same way. Thanks for texting me tonight.”
Grace stood and looked at Jamie. “I think we should head home. Give these two some time alone.”
Trey suspected Ellie was still shaken by the news of their ménage, but he appreciated her kindness toward Grace. He cared about both women and he’d hate to think a one-night stand would ruin their growing friendship.
Jamie followed Grace’s lead, tossing some money on the table to cover their part of the bill. “We’ll see you two on Monday at school.”
They said their goodbyes and Tr
ey prayed the next part of the conversation would go as smoothly. Unfortunately, his heart was pretty sure it wouldn’t.
“Trey,” Ellie began.
He shook his head, stopped her from speaking. “I know you’re still in love with Joel.”
Shocked permeated her features. “What? Are you crazy?”
Trey looked up to find her staring at him wide-eyed. “You’re not?”
“Holy shit, no. The guy’s an asshole. What on earth would make you think I still cared about him?”
“You got so upset when you saw him with Dawn this afternoon. I saw you, Ellie. You were fighting back tears.”
“Of humiliation. I didn’t like for you to see how stupid I’d been.”
Trey felt confused. “Stupid? You weren’t stupid.”
Ellie ran a hand through her hair. It was a nervous habit Trey had seen many times before. “Of course I was. He was cheating on me with my boss the whole time I was living in la-la land, planning a marriage and a future.”
“That’s Joel’s fault. Not yours.”
She shrugged. “Maybe.”
Trey gripped her shoulders, shaking her lightly. “No maybe about it.”
She grinned sadly. “Told you I have too much pride.”
“So you weren’t crying because you’re still in love with him?”
She shook her head. “Hell no. How come you never told me about your threesome with Grace and Jamie?”
Trey sighed. “It was just one night, Ellie. I started to bring it up a few times, but never found the words. I guess I was worried about how you would feel.”
She closed her eyes and Trey wished there was some way he could wipe away the sadness there. He hated seeing her so shaken, so upset. “I wouldn’t have freaked out, Trey, I swear. I know I blew up at Joel at school, in front of those students and parents, but I never would have jeopardized your reputation—or Grace’s and Jamie’s—that way.”
He scowled. She thought he’d kept it a secret because he was worried about her exposing him in public? “That’s not why I didn’t tell you, Ellie. Christ, baby. I know you’d never do something like that.”
