“She’s merged with Yanchasa, I know it, no matter that she says it’s some kind of teaching.”
“And you want to know what merging with Yanchasa is like?”
“Will it do me any good? I don’t want to dredge up old pain.”
Maia relaxed on a divan. A glass and a nearly full bottle of wine rested on the table. Nice restraint on her part. Katya was tempted to drain a bottle by herself.
“Tell me what she told you,” Maia said as she scooted another glass closer and poured for both of them.
Katya related the story as best she remembered. Maia sipped her wine and listened. At the end, she shrugged. “It doesn’t sound like anything I felt. There were no whispering voices, no teaching or guiding, more like someone pulled a blanket over my thoughts. The most horrible actions seemed not only necessary but enjoyable, and I didn’t question them.”
Maia toyed with her wine glass and stared at the floor. “There was a desire, all the time, to hurt everyone, to find new ways to hurt them. I could fight it because going on a rampage didn’t suit my purpose or my father’s plans, but it was always there.”
Katya remembered her brief time as a greater Fiend, when Starbride helped her stay in control. She’d thought of such murderous instincts as the essence of Fiends. That meant brutality lurked in the core of Yanchasa, no matter what the rest of it was.
“I saw Starbride’s face,” Maia said, “as she knelt over the tortured body of my father. She’d done something to him with a pyramid, and he was screaming and moaning, and she was smiling, Katya.”
Katya drained her glass before she stood to pace. “We have to do something.”
“Like she did for me.” Maia shuddered. “Now I’m happy to be myself again, but when Starbride first freed me, I was miserable.”
“Because you remembered.”
Maia nodded and didn’t lift her eyes.
Katya sat beside her on the settee. “You had no control, dearheart. You didn’t choose to merge with your Fiend.” Not like Roland had.
Maia wiped the corner of her eye. “I wasn’t miserable just because of the memories, Katya. Spirits above, I missed it.”
“The Fiend?” Katya asked, fighting to keep any inflection from her voice.
“The power. I know you remember a little, but once you’ve merged with that kind of strength.” She flexed her fingers. “It felt as if anything was possible. I felt invincible. I think that’s why I was so rash sometimes, why anyone with a Fiend is. Hurling yourself into danger is part of the thrill. And even though I wouldn’t go back to that terrible state of mind, it was nice not to worry about consequences.”
Like the penalty for killing people? Katya kept her mouth shut. It wouldn’t do to go asking for advice and then judging Maia on everything she had to say.
Maia leaned her head on Katya’s shoulder. “If Starbride has the power and the confidence, but Yanchasa is holding back the need for slaughter, the rashness, and the total dominion of its personality, I’d find it tempting to change places with her.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of. If she just had confidence in a power she trusted, that would be one thing, but she’s cold.”
“And ruthless.”
“She’s not the same person, but she claims she’s better.”
Maia shook her head. “Do you think we can convince her?”
“She still loves me. I saw it in her eyes. The real Starbride is in there somewhere. I just have to convince her to fight.”
“I’m with you. If she turns us into pudding, we’ll get turned together.”
Katya laughed, tears stinging her eyes. “Do you think she’ll listen to us?”
“Let me do the talking.”
“You sound like me.”
“At whose knee do you think I learned?”
*
Katya couldn’t lurk in the secret passageways. She wasn’t any more ready for them than she was for the dungeon. And spying seemed the last way to get Starbride to trust her. Instead, she decided to accompany Maia to Starbride’s room and let Maia take the lead in the conversation.
Weariness knotted Katya’s shoulders and stretched the wound in her back. She couldn’t sleep, though, even without the problem of Yanchasa. The chill of her nightmare lingered in her thoughts.
Dawnmother’s drawn face said she hadn’t gotten any rest, or maybe she was seeing the difference in her mistress, too. She would have to have been blind to miss it.
Starbride had changed into one of her Allusian outfits. This one had loose fitting trousers in deep blue silk and a shirt that fitted around her midsection and flared at the sleeves. Her smile held the same smug edge, but her mouth wobbled as Katya watched, as if the real Starbride was fighting for control.
“Hello again,” Katya said.
Starbride set some papers down. “More questions?”
“Just seeing how you are.” Maia plopped down beside Starbride as if nothing had changed.
“Fine. Just going over some reports from the city.”
“My father’s reports?” Katya asked.
“Your father needs his rest. I’m more than capable of handling a few things for him. I led a rebellion while you were gone, Katya.”
“And you did it splendidly, love.”
Starbride’s new smile held a smidge of her earlier warmth. “Thank you.”
“But reports,” Katya pressed. “You’ve never shown an interest in them before.”
Maia gave her a warning look, too late to put off Starbride’s frown.
“I have the advice of someone who ruled a place far larger than Marienne for centuries,” Starbride said. “I think I can handle a few missives. Unless you don’t have faith in me?”
“It’s not that at all.” Maia frowned until Katya sank into a chair. “Katya’s just being the worrier she was born to be.”
They all chuckled. “I just wanted to know how you’re settling in,” Maia said.
Starbride gestured at the room. “Fine, and you?”
Maia stared at the floor and shrugged. Starbride touched her lightly on the wrist. “What’s wrong?” She glanced at Katya.
Katya shook her head. “She didn’t want to tell me. I made her come see you.”
“What is it, sweet? Is someone bothering you?” The pyramid in Starbride’s forehead flared.
“Nothing like that. I just wondered if you’d tell me what it’s like. The power, I mean.”
“Why do you want to know?”
Maia spoke so softly Katya had to lean in. “I had it once.”
“And you miss it.”
“A bit. I’m happy to be myself again, and I’m so grateful to you, Starbride.”
Starbride smiled and chucked her under the chin. “Of course.”
“But I didn’t miss feeling helpless.”
“I know what you mean.” Starbride glanced to the side as if listening to someone else’s comment. Katya squirmed. That had to be Yanchasa’s voice.
“I don’t miss the killing,” Maia said.
Katya sucked in a breath. Starbride frowned. “Killing?”
“Yes, I killed people happily. I don’t miss that.”
Starbride looked away again. Katya glanced at Maia, urging her to press the point.
“It felt as if someone else was in charge of my thoughts.” Maia stared into space. “Every decision I made was influenced by…”
“Yanchasa’s Aspect.” Starbride frowned, and Katya wondered how quickly Yanchasa was talking now. “You two should be resting.”
“And you?”
“I’m not sleepy.”
Katya cocked her head. “I always sleep better with you by my side.”
Starbride seemed torn again. Her mouth quivered, and she took a breath so deep she shuddered. “Sleep here with me, then.”
Maia started to stand. Starbride touched her arm. “No, you stay. I don’t want you to be alone.”
Maia glanced at Katya, and she knew they were thinking the same thing: it was more
than a little awkward to think of sharing a bed, especially when Katya’s and Starbride’s bedtime often included more than sleeping.
“Right here,” Starbride said.
When Katya glanced at her, the pyramid in her forehead flared again, and darkness slammed into Katya like a herd of wild horses.
Chapter Twenty-four
Starbride
Maia slumped to the side, but Katya slid forward. Starbride leapt the short table between them and caught Katya before she could hurt herself.
“Will you straighten out Maia?” she asked as she laid Katya on the settee.
Dawnmother hurried to Maia’s side. “What have you done?”
“Don’t wake her. I just put her to sleep.”
“They are not children, Star! Did you even think of how angry they’ll be when they wake?” Dawnmother’s face had that line between her brows that Starbride was coming to think of as her normal expression. “My life for you—”
“Dawn, please. How many times have you said that in the past hour?”
“I will repeat it until you listen. Your feet are set on a dark path, and if you don’t turn back…” Her mouth worked before she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Star, you risk becoming the kind of person you have hated all your life, a selfish monster who cares only for her own ends.”
Hurt battered through the adsna. “How dare you even think that about me?”
“How can I not?” She pointed to the two sleeping figures. “How can you not when you have done this?”
“Set their minds and bodies at ease, you mean?”
“Assaulted them, Star! Used magic on them without their permission, when all they had done was come to check on you.”
“They came to tear a rift between me and Yanchasa.”
Yanchasa leaned against the settee where Katya rested. “As I warned you,” he said.
Dawnmother’s face grew thunderous. “There should be a rift, just as when you befriended that tall girl when you were eleven, the one who tempted you to steal.”
“I’m not a child anymore, Dawn. Yanchasa is not a young thief.”
“Not young, I’ll grant you.” She gestured at the papers under Maia’s shoulder. “But thief seems appropriate. That thing wants you to take over, and it’s changing you from the inside. Why else would you think you know better than the king what to do with these reports, that you know what’s best for the princess and her cousin even regarding their own bodies?”
Starbride’s ears and cheeks went hot. She vividly remembered the brooch she’d stolen at her friend’s insistence, the shame when Dawnmother had marched her back to return what she’d taken and apologize. She had pleaded with Dawnmother not to tell her mother, and Dawnmother had agreed if Starbride pledged never to speak to the tall girl again.
“I’m…” She couldn’t get the words out.
Yanchasa stood at Dawnmother’s shoulder, arms clasped behind him. “You’re what, daughter? Sorry?”
“Well?” Dawnmother asked.
Yanchasa tsked slowly, a smirk on her face. “Still eleven, are we? I wonder if Redtrue lets people speak to her like this.”
“Star.” Dawnmother knelt in front of her. “Wake the princess and Maia, and we’ll—”
Starbride tuned her out, eyes glued to Yanchasa as anger built within her. Why mention Redtrue?
“Well, no one speaks to her like this because she doesn’t have a servant, wouldn’t be burdened by one, from what you remember.”
Starbride launched to her feet. “You’d throw her in my face?”
Dawnmother fell back. “Star?”
“I wonder if she’d hear me,” Yanchasa said.
Starbride stepped around Dawnmother. “I thought I was your chosen one, and you mention another?”
“Gifts must be earned, daughter. I will not have mine squandered.”
Dawnmother pulled on Starbride’s arm. “Star, whatever the monster is saying, do not listen!”
“Just what are you saying?” Starbride asked.
Yanchasa gestured toward the scattered papers. “You’ve seen what must be done. Why linger? The kingdom needs you for more than these petty problems. Unless…”
“Yes?”
“Well, unless you’d rather immerse yourself in smaller problems.” He smiled pityingly. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, daughter. Some people are just not made for greatness.”
Starbride marched around the settee and gathered up her papers, ignoring Dawnmother’s wails. They’d see who was made for greatness. It certainly wasn’t Redtrue. She was afraid of power, and how could that ever make one great?
Dawnmother pulled on Starbride’s arm, and Starbride grabbed her chin. “Do you need rest, too, Dawn?”
Dawnmother tensed as if she might jerk back, but Starbride held her tighter.
“No, mistress,” Dawnmother said, an unknowable look in her eyes.
Starbride saw the look for what it was: one more petty problem she didn’t have time for. Other feelings tried to surface, but she shut them down. “If anyone comes looking for me, I’ll be with the nobles and the king. It’s high time they convened the council.” She glanced at Katya and Maia. Dawnmother would look after them, and they’d be safe, and she wouldn’t have to concern herself with their welfare for the time being.
Yanchasa’s proud look made Starbride’s skin tingle. As she strode into the hallway, Yanchasa kept pace with her as if they were comrades.
“Of course we are, daughter. You always give me reason to be proud of you. There’s no challenge or test that you cannot overcome.”
Faith, just what was lacking in all her friends and family. She’d seen it briefly in Katya’s eyes, but then that Darkstrong-cursed doubt reared its head. Didn’t any of them see she could handle this power and Yanchasa’s advice? She was in control, but none of them would believe that. Perhaps they were incapable. Perhaps they preferred her weak and vulnerable.
“Time, daughter, will let us see who can be convinced.”
*
When Starbride was admitted to Einrich’s formal sitting room, she found him meeting with several nobles, namely Countess Nadia, Baroness Jacintha, Viscount Lenvis and a bald, bearded man Starbride didn’t know.
It rankled not to have been included, but she supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised. Like Yanchasa said, they needed time.
And proof of her power, of course.
Baroness Jacintha beamed at her, but she was the only one. Starbride returned her deep bow with a gracious nod. She wasted no time showing Einrich the documents she’d been looking at, those from the Watch detailing crime or destruction in the city.
“I’ve already started restoration efforts,” she said, watching surprise cross all their faces. “I’ve repaired some buildings, settled some disputes—”
“Did you loose those dead things on the city?” Lenvis asked.
Starbride stared at him hard. “I have put them to good use, Viscount. I did not create the remnants. The Fiend king did that.”
“I have heard,” the bearded man said, “that there are actual Fiends in the city, too. They’ll need hunting down.”
“Be easy, Count Mathias,” Einrich said. “I believe our young Starbride has that covered, yes?”
She nodded, though she didn’t appreciate his underhanded comment on her age. “They are now under my command.”
Lenvis still looked at her strangely. “And how many will share that fate?”
Starbride considered hurting him, but she didn’t think that was necessary yet. Jacintha stared at him with wide, appalled eyes, but she couldn’t censure him because of his rank. At least someone else understood.
“Wise of you to spare him,” Yanchasa said. “Strike too hard too quickly, and you’ll find yourself with no one left to rule.”
Countess Nadia sidled close. “Forgive Lenvis, my dear. He has yet to hear from his family on the coast, and he fears the worst.”
Starbride nodded her away. Einrich was saying som
ething about increased Watch patrols, and she needed to let him know she could handle things in Marienne. “The remnants can patrol the city. If you wish,” she added as Lenvis glanced at her again.
They all grimaced. “Perhaps not,” Nadia said. “They make people a little uncomfortable.”
Small-minded people, perhaps. She’d seen the discomfort and hoped they’d get over it. Lenvis gestured at the reports she held, his face still holding open hostility. He seemed miles from the pretty young bauble Nadia had been pursuing before Roland had taken Marienne. “How did you come by those reports, Princess Consort?”
“Starbride developed many ties to the Watch in our absence,” Einrich said, “as leader of the rebellion.”
At last, a rational head. He saw how much she could do for the city. But Yanchasa’s mouth puckered in a frown.
What is it? Starbride asked.
She shrugged. “Probably nothing.”
Starbride tried to keep one ear on the other conversation as she thought, Tell me.
“The king said, ‘in our absence,’ as if now you won’t be needed. With Countess Nadia’s comments about the remnants, it’s as if they’re saying they don’t need you at all.”
“I can take over that project,” Starbride said, interrupting something Countess Nadia was saying.
“Which project?” Einrich asked.
“City restoration. If you don’t want to use the remnants, I can do it myself. I’ve already made a start.”
“We were talking about crime,” Lenvis said.
“I can help with that, too. A few criminals are nothing to me. Or have you seen the Fiend king lately?”
That turned him a little white around the gills.
“We weren’t all hiding while the fighting was going on,” Count Mathias added. “If it’s criminals that need hunting down, I’ll be happy to help.”
“I’m sure you could aid the effort, Starbride,” Einrich said, “but you’re only one person, and we do have an entire city Watch. I think it would do the people good to protect themselves.”
“And you don’t want them hiding you away as some piddling commander of city forces,” Yanchasa added.
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